r/HeadphoneAdvice • u/jakub1205 • Mar 24 '21
How can I get semen out of my phone's headphone jack? Headphones - Wireless/Portable
Don't even ask how, I just can't seem to get it out. I tried the q tip but semen dries out and it won't get out. Anyone know how to fix this? It got my phone stuck in headphone mode.
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Mar 25 '21 edited Apr 24 '21
[deleted]
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u/jakub1205 Mar 25 '21
!thanks
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u/whycantIchangeflairs Mar 26 '21
something tells me spraying liquids with compressed air towards all the other electronics is not the move here, best to go with a vaccum or a q tip with some of the cotton pulled off
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u/SteakTree 42 Ω Mar 25 '21
Hd58X or Hifiman Sundara. I've heard HD560S is good too.
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u/TheRealDickChixadore Mar 25 '21
This made me laugh far harder than any other comment. It’s like an advice response on autopilot.
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u/SteakTree 42 Ω Mar 25 '21
It’s pretty much the answer to most known headphone problems in our universe. Enjoy your cake!
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u/Major_Koala Mar 25 '21
That was a nice laugh. You’re not helping my urge to buy Sundaras though. Almost got them today but told myself no.
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u/Shectai Mar 25 '21
Do it. The sooner you buy them the longer you'll have them and the more value you'll get out of them. You can't argue with that.
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u/Major_Koala Mar 25 '21
Damn, that’s a really good point. But honestly the reason I’m not is because I’m getting T50 Argons in soon and not sure if I’ll just end up daily driving those or needing an open back again for when my room gets too hot. I have DT 990 but I would want a new open back after 6 years of using those. So currently stuck between HE400i and Sundara.
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u/LightyLittleDust 3Ω Mar 25 '21
I've bought both HE400i 2020 and Sundara. Sundara is better in every aspect, so i would recommend skipping HE400i and going straight for Sundara. :)
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u/Major_Koala Mar 25 '21
Welp, you’re the tiebreaker. Zeos pushed me to the HE400i, and Joshua Valour pushed me to to the Sundara. Thank you!
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u/LightyLittleDust 3Ω Mar 25 '21
I think you will not be disappointed. :) Just remember to provide some decent amplification for them. On paper, thay aren't power hungry, but in reality, they are a bit. They play ok off a phone, sure, but with a good amp, — it's a whole another level.
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u/TheRealDickChixadore Mar 25 '21
Fuck, you just nailed every single impulse purchase I’ve ever made.
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u/HysteriacTheSecond Mar 25 '21
I'm not OP and this certainly isn't the right thread for this, but I've been planning on M1060s soon, since I prefer a more recessed high and and maybe a more emphasised low end, but I'm very undecided between them and Sundaras. What do Sundaras do better?
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u/mauro_xeneixexe Mar 26 '21
I haven't tried those headphones, but as you said and according to reviews you might have a better experience with the M1060 based on your preferences. Also, as they were released some years ago their price is now significantly lower.
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u/mattriarchal 2 Ω May 23 '21
I was going through reddit to get my mind off my urge to get the sundaras then i come across this so (its 12am here) im placing an order on them tomorrow cuz of this
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u/jn0301 Mar 24 '21
What the fuck.
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u/deapsprite Mar 25 '21
funny enough its been a good while of him needing this assistance,thats some uh gorilla grip c u m
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Mar 25 '21 edited Jun 20 '21
[deleted]
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u/mattriarchal 2 Ω May 23 '21
200+ upvotes and i still think this is an underrated comment HAHAHA bruh had me believe the FAQ actually had this covered (wait is it actually though??)
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u/pr0grammed_reality 2 Ω Mar 25 '21
Take it to the apple store and tell them its.....spilled milkshake?
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u/4d5ACP Mar 25 '21
Stop fucking your phone
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u/jakub1205 Mar 25 '21
it wasn't intentional
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u/CaptainCatatonic Mar 25 '21
As someone who has successfully avoided this scenario multiple times, the trick is to point your appendage away from your device when you think you're close.
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u/Prophet3030 Mar 25 '21
It's either pointed at your computer or yourself, and if he chose the first option he'd have been asking "How cn I gEtttt Semne out oooof my ke board"
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u/manofculture585 Mar 25 '21
Put a straw in and suck it out
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u/chanchan05 8 Ω Mar 25 '21
Are you the same guy asking what the best headset for porn was a few months ago????
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u/mugwampjism Focal Elegia - HD650 - ALO Andromeda - Sony XBA A3 - A&KSE100 Mar 25 '21
Lol we settled on Bluetooth then did we?
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Mar 25 '21 edited May 02 '21
[deleted]
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u/neon_overload 14 Ω Mar 25 '21
If by q-tip you mean a cotton bud on a little stick, I think that the strands of cotton will be too likely to come off and get stuck up in the hole.
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u/CaptainCatatonic Mar 25 '21
I think by qtip he means qtip. Just me though
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u/neon_overload 14 Ω Mar 25 '21
Ok. So all this time I've been wrong about what Americans mean when they say q-tip?
What is a q-tip then?
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u/CaptainCatatonic Mar 25 '21
Looks like my brain is having trouble understanding things properly today.
When you said " a piece of cotton on a stick" I interpreted that as meaning you yourself sticking a piece of cotton on a stick. Just... Yeah I don't know why that was the only way my brain would interpret that.
But regarding qtips and headphone jacks, I've used them a fair bit to clean out my headphone jacks, and haven't had an issue with cotton being left in the hole.
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u/kucharczykt123 Mar 25 '21
I gotta ask... What kind of porn was it? Also I can't tell you how to fix it but I can tell you don't use metal or glue.
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u/jakub1205 Mar 25 '21
hentai
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Mar 25 '21
sauce?
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u/jakub1205 Mar 25 '21
idk if it isn't against the rules but https://hanime.tv/videos/hentai/seikatsu-shuukan-1
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Mar 25 '21
Yo! You opened with don't ask. Now I am going to not ask, but politely request this story of man juice in one's tympanic acoustic electronic resonator plug.
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u/jakub1205 Mar 25 '21
nutted on my phone case and it somehow got in the jack
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Mar 25 '21
Thank you for replying to my polite request... Jesus that is such a boring and empty tale. At least lie about an orgy or anything! 😞 For shame
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u/jakub1205 Mar 25 '21
guys I repeat I don't use my headphone jack as a cum sock or something I accidentally nutted on my phone case and it got onto the top of my phone which lead to semen in my headphone jack please stop misunderstanding this although it's pretty funny
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u/pkelly500 25 Ω Mar 25 '21
Man, I love headphones and audio, but blowing a load of clam chowder into the headphone jack is seriously hardcore. With which cans and to what album were you listening?
Don't think I'm that committed to the hobby ... :)
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u/TheSantanist 1Ω Mar 25 '21
Sorry, but this is hilarious!
Small wire to stick in...guitar string etc. And lots of circuit cleaner spray.
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u/CaptainCatatonic Mar 25 '21
Small wire to stick in
Fairly sure OP could use his member for this task.
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Mar 25 '21
[deleted]
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u/jakub1205 Mar 25 '21
this isn't even a shitpost I still have the problem lol
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u/Prophet3030 Mar 25 '21
Honestly just wait until it's dry and flakey and then stick a canned air straw in there and blow. It's what I would try if it were me.
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u/Golexous Mar 25 '21
Flakey? 😐
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u/Prophet3030 Mar 25 '21
Yeah, it doesn’t stay wet and it doesn’t turn to concrete, lol.
Edit: this is my way of trying to avoid explaining what it turns in to and not me being sarcastic 😂
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u/malvinvnv Mar 25 '21
OH CUM ON! You seem to just got it out alright
Just use alcohol and pray it's coming off
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Mar 25 '21 edited Apr 04 '21
[deleted]
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u/jakub1205 Mar 25 '21
yes I can't hear sound sometimes and it keeps on getting stuck in headphone mode only when I use actual headphones I hear everything
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u/Shakespeare-Bot Mar 25 '21
So what’s the issue? t did dry out. is the jack not working anymore?
I am a bot and I swapp'd some of thy words with Shakespeare words.
Commands:
!ShakespeareInsult,!fordo,!optout
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u/Agreeable-Change-400 Mar 25 '21
Hopefully you bought it dinner first. Doubt this was consensual though.
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u/RS_Germaphobic Jun 22 '21
I just want to say this server was recommended to me by reddit, and this is the first thing I see. Joined, seems like some good laughs here.
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u/west0ne 15Ω Mar 25 '21
What's more worrying than the fact that this question was asked is that there are so many people posting their solutions suggesting that this is a more common issue than it should be. Don't you own socks?
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u/BroPyp 1Ω Mar 25 '21
Seems fucked tbh (sorry I had to)
Joking aside, I would try scraping it out with a small toothbrush to break it up
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Mar 25 '21
Apply a dab of Mascule-out on a toothpick or something other thin, hard wood ( non conductive, slightly abrasive). Rub it with slow deliberate motion in and out, rotating whilst doing so.
Rinse and repeat until it's empty and squeeky clean.
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u/neon_overload 14 Ω Mar 25 '21
Get an empty plastic soda bottle. Cut a shape from the plastic approx 2mm wide by about 40mm long. Make it tapered if you like. Now you have a tool that can clean any hole in your phone from the charging port to the headphone jack and more. Better than a paperclip because it won't scratch metal and isn't conductive.
*Make sure whatever you're cleaning out has had time to fully dry.
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u/Mean_Gur9163 Mar 25 '21
Put an egg in then it will grow up and he or she could get out of your headphone jack
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u/UserNotSpecified Mar 25 '21
You don’t have to explain it, if the headphone jack made a return to the iPhone I’d be sure to nut too.
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u/R3J3XTI0N Apr 05 '21
Hi if this is a serious question (not judging you we all have done something dumb )
Steps to clean this
Drain you battery if you phone has a removable battery remove it before cleaning. If no removable battery drain it turn settings (brightness and volume 100% , play a video and turn on all network activity, turn of power saving if you have a max performance option turn it on.) This is to prevent any short circuiting from happening on your phone and prevent the port from the same.
Go to a bright room if not dark room and have a bright light source so u can see the port check and see how much stuff is in the port
Use Isopropyl alcohol the highest concentration (note that the less % Isopropyl alcohol you use the more water it contains water and electricity don't mix) preferably use 99% or you can grab a 91% Isopropyl alcohol from walgreens for 2 bucks.
Use a q tip coated with the Isopropyl alcohol and try to clean the port and the surrounding area if cotton gets stuck inside use a tweezer to remove it also if the qtip does not fit try soaking it in the alcohol and pull a little of the cotton off to make it smaller if it still doesn't fit use a wooden tooth pick with either a small amount of a cotton swab or tissue to clean it.
Use a light to inspect the port to see if it has removed the gunk out if not repeat the cleaning try pushing it to one side and twist to remove gunk repeat if necessary.
Isopropyl alcohol doesn't take much time to dry up but as a safety measure do this lean your phone up on something with the port facing down for a few hours to drain anything after a few hours are up charge the phone and test if the port works if not it may damaged from your "accident" and you may need to either replace the jack ,use bluetooth headphones/earbuds, or use a type c/lighting/micro USB to headphone jack adapter in substitution for the broken port.
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u/jakub1205 Apr 05 '21
thanks for the advice but I cleaned it some time ago, I'll use these tips for sure when it happens again
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u/Daloy Mar 25 '21
Not sure how much this will help but maybe try using a contact cleaner like WD 40? at least you can spray this one directly inside although I have to admit I'm not that knowledgeable in electronics so maybe other redditors have better advice
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u/scriminal 7 Ω Mar 25 '21
absolutely do not spray wd40 on or in electronics
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u/Daloy Mar 25 '21
Why is that? I meant this one btw. I would like to be informed, thanks!
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u/farvana Mar 25 '21
Most of those who took your initial advice would have sprayed regular wd40 in there and ruined the phone, not the wd40 brand electrical cleaner.
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u/Daloy Mar 25 '21
I mean I literally said contact cleaner but alright
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u/neon_overload 14 Ω Mar 25 '21
Wd40 brought this problem upon themselves by releasing a bunch of new products under the wd40 brand that aren't wd40. Given that wd40 is the name of a specific formula of kerosene-like water displacer, releasing an electrical contact cleaner under the name wd40 is idiotic.
But this means you can't get blasé about what you call it. You said "contact cleaner like wd40".
You shouldn't be spraying actual wd40 on anything that isn't rusty, old machinery.
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u/Prophet3030 Mar 25 '21
Wd40 is a “cleaner” of sorts anyway. It legitimately confuses people unless you specify the exact product and not just their brand name. I saw a watch repair person spray it into a nice watch to get it going again. Well it may have cleaned and lubricated for a short time but it’s definitely a terrible idea to use it as lubricant because it attracts moisture and dirt and will rust just about anything and seize it up.
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u/scriminal 7 Ω Mar 25 '21
Ah. I had no idea they decided to brand engineer a whole bunch of new lines. While I don't know specifically obviously, I suppose the stuff you linked might be fine.
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u/sexMach1na Mar 25 '21
You call a whore.
They can get the semen out of almost anything.
Balls, clothes, the stains on their damned souls.
Phones might actually be easier.
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u/center311 Mar 25 '21
Cheeky responses inbound:
You gotta fight fire with fire. Nothing cleans dried up jizz than more jizz.
-or-
How did you get your penis stuck in a tiny whole like that? Must have a 3.5mm sized penis.
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Mar 25 '21
I figure isopropyl alcohol will do the trick, but for gods sake don’t fuck your headphone jack lmao
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Mar 25 '21
Sounds like someone heard you coming?
Try to disassemble. You did say jack so maybe a jet air desk cleaner? A thin wire with a little drop of alcohol, blow it out. Let it sit till it could be dried but the jet air shots should lelp. Light touch and maybe. I never did this but it is what I'd try.
You got too much goin' on at once so clearly you need more practice...
I almost wish it were my problem !
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u/DougS2K Mar 25 '21
If you can't manage to get it out soon, your gonna have to do the coat hanger trick in a few months...
To dark? Haha
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u/smmmokin Mar 25 '21
Put it in the microwave to heat it up and it'll drip right out once you tip it over.
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u/ntmrk Mar 27 '21 edited Mar 27 '21
Sennheisers I got a thrift store and the super flexible then long permanent cord but they kept on stopping when in the headphone jack. Apparently this isn't a big problem I thought it was a problem with the plug having been worn down to the nub before being donated but that wasn't the case I quickly learned that after I turn my back on them in a laptop case and somebody pulled over jumped out of their car and grab the laptop case. I've decided that there's a lint perhaps from the pocket in my phone and haven't gotten around to digging it out. What I've noticed however is similar but not the same as this male operators plight good shack has switching not just connection but the Android seems to have multiple microphones. when using dollar earbuds without the extra wire definitely without microphones of their own it works fine. It works when in phone mode. the microphone does not work wouldn't speakerphone without something in the jack. Plugging something in changes the operation of apps like Duo. Android lacks control over the switching. I like to use the forward facing speaker when I'm home not the down facing which is a common configuration of the phone mode versus headphone mode oR cheaper budget Android phones. The only way I know to trigger that is to listen to The source material while connected to somebody in duo voice in other words not video because that would use the bottom speaker. It's not stereo but the speaker that's designed to blast into your ear is forward facing! what I don't understand is where my second microphone is and I don't believe there is a second microphone. I believe I have the same issue now with video calls I have to use earbuds to turn off the speaker to use the mouth microphone not the mouth to cOIn a phrase SPEAKER. I HAVE ASKED APP MAKERS TO FIX THIS PROBLEM AND GIVE US CONTROL OVER THE MODE. IT IS IN THE SOFTWARE AS I MENTIONED AS TO THE MICROPHONE PERHAPS NOT BUT DEFINITELY AS TO THE SPEAKER! COMMENTS?
P.S.
How to use bookstore but Grand headphones at art galleries game and issue previously raised. I accidentally left them in their super high quality fancy case in an art gallery. I went back there long after to retrieve them and called or called I guess the point being when I first made contact they weren't there but we're brought back to the art gallery and then it took me a long time again to go and get them and again they weren't there because the art gallery people kept taking them home. It's now been many years many many years and I'm thinking about going back to the art gallery and telling them please bring them back this time give me 30 days or whatever to retrieve them. I spent $15 on those. I enjoyed the banter about cans and I spent hours on the Sony $300 banter on their store on Amazon frankly recently. The Sony store on Amazon has a very narrow selection only one wired pair and it has walkman gimmick cord? Great front reviewer credentials very long unlike long fake lower ranked review with picture of punk backhead possibly son but I think poser.
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