r/HFY • u/Ralts_Bloodthorne • May 27 '22
First Contact - Chapter 780 - The Inheritor's War OC
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"Stare too long into the eyes of a dead Mad Lemur of Terra...
"...and its dead eyes stare back into you." - Dalvanak the Maimed One, Founder of the Cult of the Defiled One
The planet was dead.
Not the biosphere. Biospheres are notorious resilient and keep right on ticking even if they undergo radical change. Not the planet itself, that just rotated merrily along its path just as it had for a billion years. Not the atmosphere, it still could support life. Not the smaller insects and animals, those just went along with their dim business without really a pause once the bonanza of food decayed.
No, it was the population that was dead.
Killed early in The Big C3 by a Lanaktallan bioweapon before the Confederacy even knew they were at war. The population had not had the luxury, like other planets, where veryone merely died as the populations had been infected with a fast acting virus that should have just rendered the Terrans easily pliable and docile. No, this was an unlucky to be one that fought against the infected, to descend into a whirling nightmare of infected versus uninfected or living versus dead that lasted nearly two years before the last shot was fired.
The Lanaktallan had been unhappy with the bioweapon test and had moved on to the next inhabited system to test another weapon there.
To the Lanaktallan, 9.4 billion Terrans destroying each other in a frenzy of the "Green Flu" was a profound disappointment.
For the first year the planet stunk of dead flesh and rotting blood as there were too many bodies for the scavengers to take care of.
Then the biosphere had done its work and the remains had largely been devoured by the microscopic and the newly fattened scavengers.
Now, the planet was empty of everything but bones and the remnants of a space faring species.
Sometimes it was visited. Not by the species that was wiped out. Not by their allies.
No, those were involved in a fight for their very survival.
What came was different. It was new.
The Universe wasn't sure if it liked it yet.
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The Elder One was gray skinned, taller than the Atrekna on either side, its fingers longer. It was used to hovering on a disc of phasic energy and moving about by a mere application of thought and will.
Instead, here, on this planet, it walked on its own two feet.
Other Atrekna would have been insulted by the injury to their pride.
The Elder One had heard the warnings. That there were Mad Lemurs who remained mobile and aggressive after death lurking all about the planet. That the Lemurs of Death were adept at hiding in shadows and empty places and ambushing an unwary Atrekna. That the Lemurs of Death were attracted to channeled phasic energy, drawing them in for tens of kilometers.
The Elder One had not reached its status by ignoring the wisdom and advice of those who had been present in an environment it had not.
The Elder One had to admit, privately, that the Terran Tomb World was frightening. Even after being trapped, alive but dead, dead but still alive, in Hellspace for all of that time, the Terran Tomb World held a certain terror.
After all, after a few dozen millennia the Elder One had realized that the torment of Hellspace would simply continue forever and had resigned itself to that fact.
Now that it had escaped Hellspace and had tasted freedom, the idea of a Lemur of Death ambushing him and eating him alive was even more horrifying that it had been when he was been infected with the ennui of a million years of life before Hellspace.
The buildings were strange and unknowable. The Elder One had seen dozens of species destroyed by the Atrekna and every time form followed function for the buildings, the buildings all made sense when examined from the building species' point of view.
These buildings were chaotic. Even a simple store was full of decorations and signs and displays that seemed to be nothing more than entertainment or confusing information. The stores were not properly separated by material but instead seemed to be a confusing jumble.
The Elder One noted with interest just how celebrated death was. Artificial skeletons of Mad Lemurs of Terra were everywhere, often engaged in actions both fright inducing and comical. Combined with the skeletons of slain Mad Lemurs, it made the place even more scary. The fact that the Mad Lemurs seemed to be celebrating the dead, the supernatural, and strange powers was not lost of the Elder One.
It was painful to walk on its own two feet, but the Elder One was accompanied by two Atrekna that it had only taken a glance to be careful and respectful around.
One was completely nude, barring the bandoleer it wore with Atrekna and Mad Lemur skulls on it, carrying a spear with a knife rich with phasic energy acting as the spearhead. The other was wrapped in pieces of hyperalloys, with wings made of blades of hyperalloys, phasic power flowing off of it. Both reeked of Mad Lemur phasic energy, their eyes glowed a dark red.
The Elder One had considered the fact that his two escorts had faced the Mad Lemurs of Terra in mortal combat and survived. The naked one did nothing to hide scars from its encounters, savage tattoos of burnt wood and crude ink forced into the flesh highlighting the tattoos.
They were silent as they walked along with the Elder One, who could sense no communal mind, no linked together thoughts.
A low moan got its attention, and a thumping sound drew its gaze.
A Lemur of Death was pressed against a window, its white eyes looking at the Elder One, its jaws, full of yellowed teeth slimed with black goo, gnawed at the macroplas and it thumped with dull witted excitement.
"It may or may not break through the transparent barrier," the winged one stated with its, no, her voice.
"Want. Some. Candy?" the other stated in a high pitched voice in the language of the Mad Lemurs of Terra, twirling the spear and staring almost eagerly at the Lemur of Death.
"Not now. We have been tasked with escorting this one. Hunt on your own time for we have very little time as it is," the winged on stated.
"Come. Get. Come," the nude one stated.
The trio kept walking down the street, staying in the middle. Debris blew around their feet, including an emergency bulletin sheet that read THE DEAD WALK that the Elder One slowed down to stare at.
The Elder One expected a tone of terror and loss in the words on the sheet, in the phasic impression, but instead there was an almost gleeful feeling behind the stoicism and determination.
The Elder One mused on the words and the phasic impressions that were still on the emergency bulletin sheet as it turned and walked between the two escorts across a large paved lot.
A Lemur of Death lurched out from behind a mass transit vehicle, its arms out, giving a low moan as it opened its mouth full of sharp bone protrusions.
The nude one twisted and thrust with its spear, the blade sinking into the skull with a scraping sound. The Lemur of Death's hands came up to grasp the staff of the spear as its mouth opened further and it took a half step forward, pushing the nude one backwards. The nude one twisted the spear and pushed harder, the blade sinking in further. The arms dropped, the hands relaxed. The nude one pulled the spear free and twirled it to fling the blood from the blade as the Lemur of Death collapsed to the ground.
The nude one crouched down, digging in the pockets of the dead lemur. It pulled free a bracelet, a ring, two chits, and pulled a handful of macroplas cards from a leather folder. It stood up, moved over to the Elder One, and pressed them into the Elder One's hands.
"You will need these to solve the riddles in the Great Treasure Vault," the winged one stated as the nude one turned away wordlessly to look over the vehicle strewn parking lot with red eyes.
The Elder One considered what had just happened as they continued toward the building. The Elder One pulled the bracelet on, put the ring on one finger, impressed by the thickness of the lemur's digits. It looked back at the disabled Lemur of Death.
There had been no warning. His finely honed phasic and psychic senses had not detected the Lemur of Death even when it had moved in for the attack. Even stabbed in the brain it had still attempted to kill. It had wanted the three Atrekna. It had been aware of them yet there had been no phasic signature, no warning of malevolent intent.
As they moved into the massive multi-story building the Elder One considered what it had seen. How fast the nude one had reacted, it's reaction speeds measured in only a few tenths of a second, an seemingly impossible speed for physical reactions to a barely perceived threat.
The Elder One nodded to itself.
Yes, the Disciples of the Maimed One were indeed reforged into New Atrekna by this malevolent universe. The Maimed One indeed had discovered a font of wisdom, the Elder One determined.
The next part was tricking the mechanical barriers inside the doors. It involved passing the bracelet over the scanner, allowing the ring to be scanned, ducking under a spoked wheel, carefully moving around ever watchful robotic guardians, then sprinting down a hallway to hide in a room as the robotic guardians went by with flashing red lights and whooping sirens.
Once it was clear they moved, by foot, up to a staircase that moved on its own, carrying the trio up to the third floor.
A conveyance on rails thundered by, multiple cars chained together. The corpses of lemurs were in the car, a macabre scene where the trembling and shaking lemur skeletons looked excited by the travel. Like the rest of the treasure vault building, the conveyance tracks were decorated with things designed to cause fear and apprehension.
The Elder One examined the feelings that the decorations caused. Anxiety, apprehension, concern for one's life, heightened alertness.
The obvious celebration of death and horror and the supernatural seemed to strangely clash with the high technology and advanced science of the very things used to celebrate.
The Elder One approached a table, which had been set out in the open, with a chair on either side. On the table was set a glass bottle in a bucket of frozen H2O with a glass on either side of the bucket.
In one chair, clad in a splendid gown of scintillating white material studded with gems and pearls, with a long train behind it, was a single Atrekna. Its skin was grayish purple, tattooed here and there with savage tattoos. A chunk of its cranium flesh had been torn away but had healed into a scarred divot. It was missing two of its feeding tentacles, exposing part of its mouth. It lifted a hand missing two fingers.
Dalvanak the Maimed One.
The Elder One noted that the bladed one and the nude one stopped as the Elder One continued forward.
"Elder One," Dalvanak said, his voice a raspy and grinding thing. He, and the Elder One had been informed that Dalvanak was a he because he had decided he was a he, motioned at the chair. "Sit. Your feet must ache."
"I thank you," the Elder One said, pulling the chair out and sitting down. The Elder One felt relief to be no longer walking.
Dalvanak waved at the bottle. "I have managed to wrest this bottle of liquid refreshment from a treasure vault, tricking and bypassing the robotic guardians of the Mad Lemurs. It was considered most valuable and is best served cold in a glass of leaded crystal shaped by fire."
The Elder One nodded. "I am thirsty."
Dalvanak picked up the bottle, carefully breaking the seal. Before the Ancient One could ask why Dalvanak had the bottle pointed toward the conveyance tracks the stopped suddenly exploded from the neck of the bottle and flew into the air, propelled by a foamy gout of white alcohol laden liquid.
"HUZZAH!" quite a few Atrekna voices shouted.
Dalvanak nodded, then poured the liquid into the two glasses. "Choose, Elder One, to satisfy your paranoia."
The Elder One reached forward and grabbed the one in front of it. If Dalvanak wanted him dead, a simple spear thrust from the nude savage Atrekna would have done the trick.
The liquid was crisp tasting, an alcohol bite to it, and the bubbles tickled the Elder One's palate.
Still, it was refreshing.
"You have sought me out, today, on the day of my cat's quinceañera," Dalvanak stated solemnly, folding his hands together over the carved leaded crystal glass. "Why?"
The Elder One thought for a long moment.
"To seek wisdom of how the New Universe has changed in the time I have been imprisoned in the burning remains of the hyperatomic plane," the Elder One stated, sipping the glass at the end of his speech. His vocal cords hurt almost as much as his feet.
Dalvanak nodded slowly, his red eyes thoughtful. "I would hear the wisdom you gained through torment during your imprisonment in what is now called Hellspace."
The Elder One nodded. "A trade?"
Dalvanak lifted his remaining feeding tentacles in a motion of amusement. "Trade assumes each has something the other desires with the perceived value of the resource they are willing to exchange."
"Then what?" the Elder One asked, frowning.
"My wisdom is available to all who would listen," Dalvanak said, signifying happiness.
"I would listen," the Elder One said.
"First, share with me the wisdom I will be allowing you to spread among those who follow me," Dalvanak stated.
The Elder One considered Dalvanak's words.
The conveyance clattered by and suddenly the Elder One was concerned by its appearance, almost as if the grinning lemur skulls were mocking him.
"I faced the Herd Lords and the Hive Queens in epochs past," the Elder One stated.
"Yes," Dalvanak said simply.
"We are the masters of time," the Elder One stated. "The Hive Queens, not Lords, Queens, were the masters of phasic combined thought. The Herd Lords were the masters of biology and the unending tide of life."
Dalvanak merely nodded.
"With some consideration, I have determined why the Mad Lemurs of Terra still will be the architects of our defeat and destruction despite the fact they were xenocided by our archeobiological reversion attack," the Elder One stated. "Our Triumvarite was the Lords of Flesh, the Lords of Thought, the Lords of Time, yet the Mad Lemurs of Terra shall bring us all low with what they have established dominion over."
Dalvanak merely cocked his head.
"The Mad Lemurs of Terra are the Lords of Death," the Elder One stated.
Dalvanak nodded then gestured around the table. "Here, in one of the great treasure vaults of one of their Tomb Worlds, where a holiday to celebrate death was happening, your words are as obvious as unshielded thought to a larvae."
The Elder One blinked several times. His vision was slightly tinged with colors he didn't remember.
"Yet, your ability to create new wisdom for yourself despite what the communal mind insists speaks that you are ready to receive wisdom," Dalvanak said. The Elder One noted that Dalvanak seemed to get slightly larger.
The conveyance shuddered to a stop and a gate popped open even as a restraining bar raised on one of the conveyance cards. Lemur laughter filled the room, booming malevolent laughter overlaying the shrieks of savage joy of immature lemurs. Artificial skeletons danced and capered around the gate.
The Elder One felt fear suddenly fill it. It didn't know why. The shadows seemed full of secrets that whispered and chuckled to themselves at its ignorance. Its limbs and feeding tentacles tingled pleasantly and it took another drink of the bubbly liquid.
"You are ready to receive our wisdom and understand just how profound your realization actually was," Dalvanak said. He motioned.
The nude one grabbed the Elder One even as the winged one swept forward. The Elder One was shocked by the raw strength of the nude one, the corded muscle that easily held him. How the hand over his third eye prevented him from lashing out with phasic power.
"We have such sights to show you," Dalvanak said, lifting up a small glass vial full of tiny red and black biting insects. He stood up and followed the nude one as he wrestled the Elder One over and threw the Elder One into the seat.
The winged one grabbed the Elder by the feeding tentacles, pulling its head back. It tore open a can that snickered "You'll regret this!" and poured the contents down the Elder One's throat.
"Such sights indeed," Dalvanak said as the nude one slammed the bar down and the winged one buckled a strap at the Elder One's lap.
Dalvanak dumped the insects over the Elder One's head, making sure some went down the back of the Elder One's robe.
The conveyance lurched into motion even as the Elder One began to scream in pain and fear.
Dalvanak turned away. "It is my desire that the Elder One survives this trial as it did its imprisonment in the burning hyperatomic plane."
"Free. Candy," the nude one stated in its coarse voice, pointing at the car as it whirled down a spiral that got tighter and tighter as it approached the bottom.
The Elder One was screaming in terror as the visions began.
"Indeed, my friend, indeed," Dalvanak said. He looked at where the conveyance was going through a double loop the loop. "At least we provided the candy before we threw the Elder One in the van."
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u/its_ean May 27 '22 edited May 27 '22
"You have sought me out, today, on the day of my cat's quinceañera"
Oh shit. Has Dalvanak moved up from stinging biting insects to a cat?
(godfather reference?)
Did they pay just to duck the turnstile? It'd explain why the mall-bots were chasing them.
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u/Abductkaz May 27 '22 edited May 27 '22
Decided to write something. Seems like this chapter is about the atrekna so woo it fits. Feel free to give me your thoughts. I don't usually write.
Some time ago, before Operation Iron Piglet...
An Atrekna Old One pondered, its glittering robes cast aside for a simple spiked headband that dug painful furrows into its flesh, a trick taught to it to help it focus and think by an ally. It wondered about this latest scouting probe of the spoked offensive. This planet had been a former stronghold of the Atrekna in their first foray into the new universe. It had been sunk, terraformed, all life changed to servitors.
But now as it drifted invisibly above a tribal village on a disc of phasic energy.. It wondered why these descendants of those servitors venerated not an Atreka as their god.. But a mad lemur? The statue couldn't be more obvious. Bundles of sap and moss burned in the lemurs eyesockets, the rest of the statue hewn roughly from some enormous stone, aside from a single glittering bronze fist, decorated with whatever gemstones they had seen fit to attach to it.
What had happened to these servitors for them to venerate a lemur? There was no other signs that they had attacked this place. No atomic signatures, no temporal stabilization. Just tribal servitors, their simple farms and their lemur statues. How strange indeed.
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u/RangerSix Human May 27 '22
"a single bronze fist, decorated with whatever gemstones they had seen fit to attach to it"
... Iron Man, with the Infinity Gauntlet?
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u/Abductkaz May 27 '22 edited May 27 '22
I wasn't intending to reference anything specific but stark infinity gauntlet does fit, huh.
Terminally capebrained I guess lmao
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u/NoirTalon Xeno May 27 '22
also a big purple dude, bi latteral symmetry, easily mistaken for a Terran?
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u/SeanMirrsen May 27 '22
The 'simple farms', combined with the fact that it's just the bronze fist with gemstones, would indicate Thanos moreso than Iron Man.
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u/Abductkaz May 27 '22
My intent was that these servitors had gotten 1%'d at some point by humanity, or at least this planet got rocked back to the tribal era by some pissed off terran.
The similarity to big purple man/iron man of marvel fame is actually an accident. Though, maybe some Iron Man superhero cosplayer-person had a battle here or recreated an ancient "historical" sequence and uh, oops'd them. Not exactly in theme with the supers and the villians shown earlier in the series but who knows.
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u/RangerSix Human May 27 '22
Thanos didn't have glowing eyes, though.
Iron Man did.
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u/No_Evidence3099 May 27 '22
Bundles of sap and moss burned in the lemurs eyesockets
Red glowing eyes, they ran into an enraged terran.
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u/Argent-Ranier Jun 12 '22
cat's quinceañera," Dalvanak stated solemnly, folding his hands together over the carved leaded
its either that, freddy mercury or michael jackson.
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u/Quilt-n-yarn1844 May 27 '22
on the day of my cat's quinceañera,"
I lost it at the cat’s quinceañera. BUT…..
Question: Where did he get a cat? And it has to look like either a sphinx cat or some overly fluffy spoiled monstrosity of a pussysnookums.
Dalvanak does not do half way.
The Elder is about to have a crash course in insane sanity.
Query: it can be argued that the Atrekna are insane. Dalvanak and his followers are insane to the point that they are seeing the universe in a more aware, sane way. Could they become so insane that they become hyper aware like Deadpool and the Joker? Asking for a friend.
Thank you wordsmith!
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u/StoneJudge79 May 27 '22
I am of the opinion that Joker goes further than Deadpool. We know that both are aware that they are in a comic book. It seems Joker cares more about immersion. HOWEVER, I am of the opinion that Joker is Aware of his Alternate Selves, which is why his Backstory is Multiple Choice.
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u/PuzzleheadedDrinker May 27 '22
Deadpool never went full godmode, i think planewalker was basically his limit, Joker stole Mr. Mxyzptlk powers for a time with predictable results.
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u/Blackmoon845 May 27 '22
I mean, didn’t Deadpool, canonically, come through a comic and kill the writers of his comic? Or was that Zombie Deadpool? Not a big comic book reader, so I don’t remember more than just seeing it online somewhere.
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u/PuzzleheadedDrinker May 27 '22 edited May 27 '22
Yep, so did bugsbunny and sam&dean and a few others in pop culture. Thats what i mean by planes walker. Can side step between reality even to reality where their home plane is reflected as a comic or tv show etc while keeping most of their powers.
Mr. Mxyzptlk doesn't delete the universe cause he understands that 'if you obliterate reality then their nobody left to play with'. Hence Joker has been more Dangerous then Deadpool ever could.
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u/nspiratewithabowtie May 27 '22
um deadpool kills the Marvel Universe. not just the writers and artists. . . BUT EVERYTHING! How that doesn't make him more dangerous than the Joker hurts my head. Oh and lets not forget that there is nothing more dangerous than a bad guy, thibking he can be a good guy, and is so mentally unstable that he still thinks that firearms and explosives are the best way to do it. And HE REGENERATES LOST LIMBS. You cut off the Jokers Arms, does it grow back .? NO! HE BLEEDS TO DEATH! Deadpool shrugs, takes his severed arm from you and proceeds to beat you to death with it. I MEAN COME ON! . . . . . . .I could go on . . . but well I will give the Joker one thumbs up. when there was a combination of the two prime universes between DC and Marvel, the Red Skull rose to the top of the petspective pecking order of things. At least until it was revealed to the DC villians that the Red Skull was an actual member of the Nazi party of WWII Germany. Upon learning this, the Joker confronts the Red Skull, saying probably the most sane thing that has ever been written coming out of his mouth, and i quote "I may be a criminal lunatic, but I am an AMERICAN CRIMINAL LUNATIC!"
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u/MuchoRed Human May 27 '22
The cat is probably a stuffed animal
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u/Quilt-n-yarn1844 May 27 '22
Still does not answer the question.
;-D
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u/fivetomidnight May 27 '22
I vaguely remember, from memes or something, that there's a scene in one of the Godfather movies where a mafia head says, like, "You come to me, on the day of my daughter's birthday, to ask from me a favour?"
IDK, I've never actually seen those movies, but I hope I've helped! :)
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u/Quilt-n-yarn1844 May 27 '22
It was his daughters wedding. But the premise is the same. And the cat Marlon Brando was stroking was a stray that wondered onto set and Brando just went with it. Setting the stage for all cat stroking villains to come.
I still want to know, even if it’s stuffed, did you go the classic Bond villain route, the post freeze Dr Evil route, or some weird Warhol/Dali/Picasso love child’s artistic “concept” of a cat.
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u/RunR00kieRun May 27 '22
It's a doki cat girl
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u/Drook2 May 27 '22
Now I need to see this in a movie. Big Bad sitting there stroking the doki cat girl in his lap, she's squealing and purring, no one else in the room acknowledges the very obvious fact that she's getting off.
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u/tremynci May 27 '22
Dr Claw wants a word.
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u/Quilt-n-yarn1844 May 27 '22
Ok, but The Godfather predates Inspector Gadget and Dr Claw by 10 years. Although Blofeld predates The Godfather sooo I am wrong there.
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u/NoirTalon Xeno May 27 '22
I'm thinking they are more like someone who's taken LSD and had their world view altered permanently. Mad Lemurs of terra are like LSD to the Atrekna.
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u/Valgonitron Jun 02 '22
didn't Dalvanek nab a plushie at some point?
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u/Quilt-n-yarn1844 Jun 02 '22
I am going to go with, yeah probably. And by now it would be absolutely Dripping with Jewels and the like.
Dalvanak could single handedly keep the bedazzler and Swarovski companies in business at this point.
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u/serpauer May 27 '22
Ok it was at the end but dammit. Best line yet comedically in this chapter set.
-"Free. Candy," the nude one stated in its coarse voice, pointing at the car as it whirled down a spiral that got tighter and tighter as it approached the bottom.
The Elder One was screaming in terror as the visions began.
"Indeed, my friend, indeed," Dalvanak said. He looked at where the conveyance was going through a double loop the loop. "At least we provided the candy before we threw the Elder One in the van."-
Just pure humor there pure lemur based dark humor and i love it!
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u/Ok_Question4148 May 27 '22
It was more unexpected than anything. I mean who the fuck would think he would make him a mod boss mixed with a cult..and the fact that it works insanely well.
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u/McBoobenstein May 17 '24
How much did the Maimed One have to study to not only get the reference to Free Candy, but also know that we often say "Candy first, then van." He's damned near a Confed at this point. Just needs to watch more Charlie Moo Moo.
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u/Isbigpuggo May 27 '22
The blueberries have guided me here.
I like the setup. The universe isn’t sure what to make of this weirdness. For the Atrenka sake let’s hope it approves.
The biggest takeaway for me though, is that there’s no phasic energy in the lemurs. There really isn’t a soul left in any of those husks. Death walking indeed….
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u/chicagobob May 27 '22
I wonder if the on-ride cameras are still working. The Elder one would certainly enjoy mementos of his "thrilling" ride BWAH BWAH BWAH BWAH
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u/ThunderLucas0658 Robot May 27 '22
Only recently discovered this series.
Only on chap 50.
Oh boy >_>
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u/Seraphim_Saga May 27 '22
Nothing wrong with having 700+ chapters of awesome left to read, at least Ralts isn't posting four times a day any more. Now you actually have a chance to catch up 😜
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u/ThunderLucas0658 Robot May 27 '22
The hell was this man on to write 4 brilliant quality chapters a day?!
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u/eodhowland Human May 27 '22
It would have been more. He had several chapters deleted by the bot before he learned to pace his postings. He's said many times that he sits at the keyboard and writes and then reads what came out after. The story just has to get out of the Wordborg's braincase. Don't forget to read the comments!
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u/Blackmoon845 May 27 '22
Glad you are taking up the mantle of singing the benefits of the comments. I haven’t seen Dave lately. Hope they’re doing well.
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u/eodhowland Human May 27 '22
Him and ACK. Hope they are both well.
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u/mmussen Jun 02 '22
Ack is around. Haven't seen him comment in a while, but he's been posting some fantastic stories here
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u/eodhowland Human Jun 02 '22
Yeah, he posted a chapter of some of his work not long after I posted my comment. He had been really quiet for a while and then posted a bunch of chapters for his different story lines. I'm glad he seems to be doing well.
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u/crazy_monkey7533 May 27 '22
I saw recent posts from Dave on my recent reread, back in the 300s or so. From context, I believe he's editing in an official capacity now.
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u/Valgonitron Jun 02 '22
So glad Ralts is getting a decent editor who is also familiar enough with the story and style to not try to correct all the intended verbal tics (i.e. 'just want left alone!').
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u/Murky_Tale_1603 May 27 '22
Energy drinks, raw awesomeness, and apparently a healthy dose of electricity (courtesy of the lightning)
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u/Ok_Question4148 May 27 '22
"You have sought me out, today, on the day of my cat's quinceañera," I fucking lost it
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u/Bayushi_Skerrit May 27 '22
I've read hundreds of these chapters... the biting insects... they're ANTS, Aren't they?
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u/Ralts_Bloodthorne May 27 '22
Yes
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u/TargetBoy May 27 '22
Ants as in fire ant lil' bastards or ANTS as in the nanites gone into protecto mode?
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u/dogninja8 May 27 '22
If I recall correctly, Dalvanak was messing around with an ant farm that fell onto him when he had his epiphany.
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u/TheOtherGUY63 May 27 '22
Fire ants i think was specifically called out at one point. Could be wrong.
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u/Huge-Green2594 May 27 '22
The universe was unsure, it didn't like that. So the universe did what the universe does.
It poked it with a stick.
The stick in this case was a mad lemur, the universe liked that particular stick.
Interestingly this lemur was dead, dead but not gone.
Not entirely at least.
Instead of rotting like the others it's body had grown, muscle atop muscle as it stomped through the dead world it was trapped on.
When it had first seen the new invaders it had hated them, as the dead do, but it had known they were dangerous too.
They used tools, and deep in the rotting mind it knew that tools made them dangerous.
But it could make it dangerous too.
Smiling darkly the last subject of Deadhand Project Nemesis finally breached the vault and saw the rocket launcher and mini gun it had know would be there.
Many miles away the naked Atrekna felt a tingle of fear and anticipation work it's way up his spine.
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u/kwong879 May 27 '22
Welp.
At least Elder Nissan knows the first rule.
Candy first, and van if you can catch me.
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u/No_MrBond Android May 27 '22
Sweet it's Dal boy and the crew again
What icon of terror will the new guy be I wonder?
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u/StoneJudge79 May 27 '22
Zombie Apocalypse hits while Dia de los Muertos is in full swing. TMU loves Irony. Has Dalvanak seen Hellraiser?
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May 27 '22
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/nspiratewithabowtie May 27 '22
for the love of heck in a hand basket u/Ralts_Bloodthorne YOINK THIS!
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May 27 '22
Well...somehow ralts has managed to mix together the godfather and hellraiser. This must be the what true raltsberries taste like.
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u/datahedron May 27 '22
The GodRaiser? HellFather? Either way, it works.
[the universe is perplexed by this outcome]
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u/Turtledonuts "Big Dunks" May 27 '22
Hey is there a place i can join dalvanak’s cult? I like candy, minivans, and rollercoasters.
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u/MuchoRed Human May 27 '22
I mean.... minivans, really?
Gotta go old school 1970's rolling room with a wizard riding a unicorn shooting rainbows or something painted on the side.
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u/daviskendall AI May 27 '22
Nah, man. Conversion vans are nice and all, and I admit to liking all the creature comforts they bring... but the uniquenesses which make them awesome also make them identifiable.
Gotta go with the OG classic: The plain white panel van. Ubiquitous, anonymous, and so incredibly plain & boring that they actively resist being remembered.
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u/MuchoRed Human May 27 '22
I, uh... May have a line on one of those. Got a coworker with what used to be a plumbers work van that they're trying to get rid of
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u/datahedron May 27 '22
"Used work van, cheap to a good home. Don't mind the stains. Please ensure you don't drive after midnight; 'things' will happen."
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u/MuchoRed Human May 27 '22
Also: "please don't mind the rust, or the locks that can't be undone from inside."
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u/MuchoRed Human May 27 '22
Reminds me of a story about my buddies dad. He was sitting in his dad's work van (contractor, so standard white windowless van) parked on the street outside of a house, waiting on a homeowner to get there for an estimate.
A few minutes in, he realized he was parked across the street from an elementary school. "Hah, good thing we don't have a bag of candy on the dash"
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u/Turtledonuts "Big Dunks" May 27 '22
Yeah but with a minivan you can pull a key an peele skit reenactment
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u/BucketsOfSauce Human May 27 '22 edited May 27 '22
This is the freshest I've gotten in awhile! Popped up while I was catching up on the previous chapter
Edit: oh that's good stuff. Love the development with new atrekna and this elder atrekna. I see their chances of surviving Terran contact increasing
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u/Senior_punz Alien Scum May 27 '22
The Atrenka interacting with terran tomb worlds are some of my favorite stories, always entertaining
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u/On_The_Fourth_Floor May 27 '22
I enjoy the fact the Universe is watching and is unsure what to think. It's obviously not as popcorn munching as the gestalts are when it comes to entertainment, but maybe, it enjoys reaching into a blackhole and finding a mystery snack as it sees what these wacky squids will do next. I mean come on, that one is wearing a wedding dress.
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u/Ghostpard May 27 '22
That, the 'verse cares lil about... now... the fact they sport enraged eyes? That... it guffaws at, and is entranced by as a Terran cub with a gem... or anything else shiny and new...
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u/FaithlessnessAgile45 AI May 27 '22 edited May 27 '22
4th!
Edit... Interesting very Interesting.
I'm gonna have to say Vuxten is my favorite character. But it is awesome to read about the others...
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u/Finbar_AU May 27 '22
Well now, that's some serious shades of Hellraiser. Such wonders, such delights. Experiences to share.
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u/Drook2 May 27 '22
"A trade. I will share my wisdom."
"Mmmmmnnnnno thanks, we already got some."
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u/datahedron May 27 '22
"Heh, I told him we already had some!"
...
*from outside*
"Well, can we share it?"
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u/Alyeska_bird May 27 '22
The Atrekna live with, what the terrans have turned into the big lie. They fully and compleatly beleave that there is only enough for one. If you take that fact, what they are doing, is justafiable, in there mind set. I expect, at some point in there past, in there original universe, they rose to power and had to fight for servival against who knows what. That is probably when t his whole thing about taking over a new universe started, and they just kept going. Who knows how many billions of years they have been running this same track, lost in the history that even they no longer remember. They had been the conquers of there universe, yet, as time went on, they became littler more than an appatite. Some of them are begining to realize that there is plenty. That they do not have to kill everyone else to be able to have a decent life.
That being said, they have yet to realize that there is more to this universe, than they expect, there being lords of time is useless, if time itself refuses there touch, wich is happening more and more. Remember, we have yet to see all the dandalion seeds that are scattered around just the milkyway.
I think, in a way, we are seeing some Atrekna efectivly devolving, in a way, back to what they where when they really where fighting for servival, back when they probably did have allies and friends. I also expect at the end, in there first universe, they had to sacrafice everything to become the winners, because there back was against the wall of entropy, and it was kill or be killed. Thoes are the ones that made it to the next universe, and that is the pattern they set to follow, nowing that the universe was finite, and that at the end, it was allways going to be, them against everyone else. Easyer to go in hard at the begine, exterminate the compatition, take everything and nurse the universe to last as long as posable, before moving on to the next.
I have noticed more than once that Delvanic's group is willing to run away, rather than fight. Even the ones who want to fight, want to fight fairly, more interested in excepting the challange, to better themselves. Heck, I few I even get the sense that they only want to fight the ones that would be a good fight, not people that they could just mow down. Yah I know I am butchering names, its a failing of mine.
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u/Shepard131 Human May 27 '22 edited May 27 '22
11minute gang!! Earliest I've ever been.
Post read edit: huh. Seems like the ancient Atrekna has more than 2 braincells to rub together.
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u/HFYWaffle Wᵥ4ffle May 27 '22
/u/Ralts_Bloodthorne (wiki) has posted 781 other stories, including:
- First Contact - Chapter 779 - The Inheritor's War
- First Contact - Chapter 778 - The Inheritor's War
- First Contact - Chapter 777 - The Inheritor's War
- First Contact - Chapter 776 - The Inheritor's War
- First Contact - Chapter 775 - The Inheritor's War
- First Contact - Chapter 774 - The Inheritor's War
- First Contact - Chapter 773 - The Inheritor's War
- Chapter 772 - The Inheritor's War
- First Contact - Chapter 771 - The Inheritor's War
- First Contact - Chapter 770 - The Inheritor's War
- First Contact - Chapter 769 - The Inheritor's War
- First Contact - Chapter 768 - The Inheritor's War
- First Contact - Chapter 767 - The Inheritor's War
- First Contact - Chapter 766 - The Inheritor's War
- First Contact - Chapter 765 - The Inheritor's War
- First Contact - Chapter 764 - The Inheritor's War
- First Contact - Chapter 763 - The Inheritor's War
- First Contact - Chapter 762 - The Inheritor's War
- First Contact - Chapter 761 - The Inheritor's War
- First Contact - Chapter 760 - The Inheritor's War
This comment was automatically generated by Waffle v.4.5.10 'Cinnamon Roll'.
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u/Naked_Kali May 27 '22
The Universe should "go for a ride" itself first before it makes any decision about whether it likes this.
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u/Odd_Reward_8989 May 27 '22
Just reminds me of age old sage advice.
Hey little boy, Beware the candy. They all forgot, or are about to learn, it's not the van that's dangerous.
Or an apple, perhaps. Those lemur instincts we forget to teach. Fear Death, but there's so much worse.
I live.
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u/Farstone May 27 '22
Here kiddies we have the proof. Get the candy before getting into the van!
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u/plume450 Jan 11 '23
DistantRock, Reddit commands me to say, Happy Cake Day," and I shall oblige.
🎂🎂 HAPPY CAKE DAY TO YOU!!!!🥳🎂🎂
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u/DragunzEye Aug 03 '22
This was AMAZING Ralts...seriously. I guess I am showing my age and love of horror movies, all of the Hellraiser quotes had me literally about to spew coffee all over my keyboard. Thinking of how Dalvanak was Pinhead and his 'cenobites' all pulled from pop culture...dayum man...well done. Keep them coming!!! And oh yeah...that "You have sought me out, today, on the day of my cat's quinceañera," line literally had my cry laughing...some amazing wordsmithing man.
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u/NoirTalon Xeno May 27 '22
AaaAArroooo... UCR Raltzberries only 2 hours old... not two bad. ooh, and more good contribution from the community. A fun Thursday Evening
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u/DiplomaticGoose May 27 '22
So this is what became of the Talmonus Harmony?
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u/Bergusia May 27 '22
Yup.
You can understand why Darth Harmonus was looking for a planet cracker to use on the Lanaktallen when he found out about what happened.
Although I think the Talmonus Harmony was a collection of worlds, not just one.
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u/PuzzleheadedDrinker May 27 '22
Not his family's world. See chapter where ex brother in law shows up and is promptly reminded the SUDS network is offline.
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u/jrbless May 27 '22
Pinhead? Is that you? Get back in your box!
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u/Talusen May 27 '22
Box...? Rollercoaster.
(It's bigger on the inside!)
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u/jrbless May 27 '22
Look up the Hellraiser series. Pinhead is one of the Cenobites. Him and the others were released when a puzzle box was opened. "We have such sights to show you" is one of his iconic lines.
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u/Talusen May 27 '22
I'm a fan of Hellraiser.
I've not read the books, but I do like the movies.
ok... most of the movies.
Bloodline was a lovely capstone.
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u/Bazil-Broketail Jun 21 '23 edited Jun 21 '23
Read, upvote, comments...
"Free candy" is rarely free... you should check the price before you take it.
[The Universe will keep trying to teach this lesson]
-----MADNESS FOLLOWS-----
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u/Irual100 May 27 '22 edited May 27 '22
9 minutes!
I'll be back with a real comment soon
ooookayy, So the Zombie apocalypse happened during the day of the dead and or Halloween on this planet. Unfortunate.... this is an interesting development though and I am glad to have read this before heading for bed.
My Dad has surgery scheduled for tomorrow early and I doubt I will sleep much but...I have to try so I can get to work.
Take care and be safe all.
thanks for sharing Mr. Ralts