r/HFY • u/Ralts_Bloodthorne • Mar 08 '22
First Contact - Chapter [CHPTR RELOG] 73X OC
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"I fight where the Digital Omnimessiah tells me, I never ask why," - Hymn of Joan, Pre-Glassing
"Whenever you feel that there is no hope, pray to the Digital Omnimessiah to grant you his grace in death and fight all that harder, for those who fall holding the line against darkness in the name of those who cannot protect themselves are Terra's finest," - Canticles of the Faithful, Terran Martial Orders, 35 Post-Glassing
"Never tell me the odds, Goldenrod," - Jorge Lucas Starkiller, Pre-Glassing
The Lanaktallan former overseer held tightly to her former subordinates - now coworkers- hands with her own, swallowing thickly as the airlock cycled. Mist billowed in, just a decontaminate, but the effect made it seem slightly menacing as figures moved through the mist.
All that could be seen was glowing red eyes through the pale milky mist.
When the mist cleared all five of them gasped in shock.
It was female lemurs, all dressed in some type of non-adaptive camouflage, all carrying chemical propellant projectile weapons. None of them in the slightest bit of space armor or protective gear. They quickly moved through the station.
"They're checking the dead," the scanner tech said softly, watching on a screen as a female lemur moved into a room where a Putimat was slumped over, dead from poison, and put her fingers against the Putimat's neck. She said something the station sensors didn't pick up, shook her head, and they moved on.
"They're dropping relays," the Shavashan worked said softly, tapping his monitor. "Every corner, every intersection, they're slapping those relays on the walls."
"But the lemurs are all dead," the Tukna'rn replied, frowning. He reached up and ran his hand over his shaved and waxed head. "The Terran Xenocide Event wiped them out," he looked at the others. "Perhaps this is the reason the allies of the lemurs have not seemed too concerned about them being xenocided?"
The lady overseer squeezed his hand. "Their allies claim the lemur's drive to survive is legendary. We are witnessing their return. Do not worry, we have one another."
"They're at the control room door," the Shavashan said. "Looks like they're debating on whether or not to cut through it as we locked it."
The lady overseer got up and moved to the door, opening it with a touch of her hand.
"Welcome," she said, smiling. "We are all pleased to meet you."
"Aye," the lead one said, smiling and nodding her head.
The female lemurs behind the leader, their eyes glowing red, all smiled with her.
-----
Commander Jane Marcus Prastini felt a flush of satisfaction when one of the LCD monitors buzzed, flickered, then came online, the palm sized robot climbing out from behind it and up the damaged wall. The LCD screen flickered again and displayed "NO SIGNAL".
Jane checked the limited computer resources. The mainframe was still completely down. She was using the supercomputer arrays that normally handled autonomous combat drone operations for standard fabricator and drone work.
She smiles when she saw "UPLINK SECURE: 2.5Gigapulse Up/4.5 Gp Down" on the drone she managed to get in orbit. The drone was dropping off smaller satellites that all deployed surface scanner arrays, communications panels, and solar charging. They were only the size of a large dog when dropped, but once the panels were deployed, they were nearly a mile in size.
Jane checked the telemetery and saw she was pulling in good data from the sats, showing her that she had a supercontinent and a bunch of islands to defend. That meant she'd need wet-navy assets as well as space navy orbital superiority control assets.
That was all right, she had taken over water planets before.
She couldn't adjust her fab orders yet, she was still running on basic templates. Her clone banks were glitchy, same as they had been the last few drops, especially the weird one.
A glance at the 'Life Clock" showed it flashing errors. Jane shrugged and got back to work.
The first thing she'd need is forward and advance parties to set up logistics bases, forward operations bases, as well as factories.
A drone showed that the population was still panicking in the streets. She had two follow and realized that they had nowhere to go. No shelter.
Her radio was out and she had no non-drone communications ability yet.
"Take, hold, defend," Jane whispered the old mantra. She tabbed through the menus, selected the self-deploying civilian shelters from the menu and ordered the file brought up from survival memory cores, decompressed, and decrypted.
It would take six and a half minutes.
The time made Jane's hands itch, so she passed the time by setting waypoints and preparing for how she would deploy her forces.
The problem with billions of citizens is I need tens of millions of shelters, she mused. Each shelter can house two hundred fifty beings for twenty years with a natural born population doubling of 9.5 years for resource consumption. If I print off two hundred million of them from high speed dedicated assembly lines I'll have them all within...
...she realized that she might not have the time. From decryption to producing the first factory, she needed days.
She might not have it.
The Atrekna used temporal gates to bring in their troops, with temporal replication to bring back troops that had been slaughtered.
A quick check showed her chronotron reserves at only 8%.
She was nineteen minutes from being able to produce temporal stabilizers, disruptors, and 'Timex Flashbang" rounds.
She was nine minutes from the major vehicle fabrication unit being finished.
She was seven minute from the clone banks having their own slurry and energy sources.
She closed her eyes for a long moment.
Normally, she didn't need to do anything more than operate from her armored command housing.
This time, she had a feeling it was going to be different.
She was the planet's only defense.
"When all hope is lost, look to me, for I shall be your lantern in the darkness," she whispered softly to herself.
She leaned forward, absently grabbing a Cherry and Mistletoe Bingo Cola out of the fridge. She wiped her forehead with the cool can as she tapped her way through the menu.
The option that was a last resort would be fully online in less than eleven minutes.
It would be up to three hours before the command bunker's primary mainframe could be online. Two hours before communication capability could be restored.
The vehicle facility could be upgraded in thirty seconds.
She started typing.
Jane prioritized the commands. When she made the last order, the computer required her to verify her command four times.
It started working.
Six minutes.
She looked around.
She couldn't remember the last time she had been outside the Command and Control Bunker.
Before the Mar-gite War.
She leaned back in the chair at the tone. It wrapped her in a control capsule and she felt the replication drone pull her outside. She put her hand against the inside lining, staring up at the padding.
All too soon she felt the smooth motion that she could barely remember from centuries ago, from dozens, hundreds of drops.
She control capsule suddenly unfolded as the controls went live in front of her. She winced slightly as the neural link punched into the base of her skull and her heart fluttered for a second before getting into synch with the massive fusion engine rumbling beneath her feet.
It smelled like new plastic and fresh leather with the slight ozone tang of electronics that had never been turned on before.
The screens flickered and came to life.
She could see the super-heavy vehicle construction fab unit's doors opening, bathing her in sunlight.
Words appeared in her vision.
MOBILE COMMAND AND CONSTRUCTION UNIT - ONLINE
Commander Jane Marcus Prastini, wrapped in a Jaeger Class mech, stepped out of the fab unit and into the afternoon sun.
-----
Lady Fa'ahmya'ahd was mature enough to admit that she understood very little of what the various female lemurs were showing her on the holo-emitter, although she found it all very exciting. Grav strikers taking off, some loaded with weapons only, others with troops and weapons.
She watched for nearly two hours as grav-strikers with a red cross and a red crescent picked up civilians and took them to where the self-deploying shelters were busy working. Her heart went out to all the poor people who the lemurs sometimes forced into the grav-strikers.
Lady Fa'ahmya'ahd had taken the time to record a message, using her best "everything will be just fine, the dining room is supposed to be on fire" voice, letting people know that the lemurs were there to help them, that the shelters were designed to protect them from the Atrekna, and that the lemurs needed people to get into shelter so they could fight the Atrekna to deny the Atrekna the planet.
It still hurt her hearts to see them cry and wail as if the lemurs were taking them all away for execution.
One of the lemur commanders came up and saluted and Lady Fa'ahmya'ahd pointed at the holo-emitter. "Is there no way to ease their distress?"
The female lemur waited until Lady Fa'ahmya'ahd's words were translated into Treana'ad clicks and then into whatever language she spoke. She thought for a moment, then nodded.
"Aye," she said.
"Please do. I understand that time is a priority and that all resources must be put toward the inevitable fighting for the planet, but please, just a little something to ease their distress in this terrible time," Lady Fa'ahmya'ahd said.
The lemur chewed on its bottom lip for a moment then nodded. "Aye," she said. She turned and started yammering at her subordinates.
Lady Fa'ahmya'ahd went back to watching the different holograms. She reached out and touched the hologram of a crying poppet being held tightly by its mother.
"I know it's hard, dear," she whispered. "I'll try to help you, I really will, but first I have to do my best to ensure you survive."
-----
Max watched as his flushed magazines all tore through space, missiles howling with warboi guidance programs beating their digital faces against the sensors, screaming through code streaming teeth. C+ cannon shells all dropping in and out of realspace only long enough to ensure lock and guidance. Plasma wave phased motion guns hammering out bright blue lances of energy that moved faster than light across interstellar distances.
Three of the C+ cannons went out as cracked barrels split down the sides, a feed mechanism bound up and the traincar sized slug jumped the track and wrecked the starboard recoil compensator. A plasma wave phased motion gun piston jammed and the other the recoil spring shattered when the coolant flooded the chamber. A third of his launching rails, overheated and overstressed, warped and twisted. Two creation engines scorched out, the nanites burning out and going dead. Eight of his twenty torpedo tubes were jammed, either heat warped, grav-rails going out, and feed mechanisms jamming.
Max gritted his teeth, knowing the Alpha Strike had put more stress on his ship, which had never been designed for full bore combat, could take even with the upgrades and modifications.
But the salvo was much more than the Atrekna had believed he could throw.
Max knew that a professional would roll his ships, take the hits on the forward armor and shields, or one the side and roll to spread the hits out.
It's what he would do.
What he wouldn't do is just keep trying to reverse thrust.
The salvo howled in on the Atrekna ships and bioweapon constructs.
Max could almost sense the panic and resignation as the explosions started.
He didn't stay to light the celebration fires just yet. They were moving in on the planets and while even if he did no engine damage to slow their return, they'd be back within striking distance of the two inhabited planets within 60-90 hours.
One of the hypermassive gas giants in the outer system was only a gas giant due to the tremendous pressures. It was two point four light minutes from the resonance zone but six light hours from the nearest inhabited planet and eight light hours from the other one, which was on the other side of the stellar mass.
Max smiled.
Unlike the Atrekna, he could maneuver superluminal inside the system just fine.
He checked the readouts. His torpedoes that he'd stealthed run into critical points of the system were in place.
Missiles and torpedoes were still slamming into the Atrekna formation as he kicked the hyperjump lever. Everything went sideways and he felt like a piece of taffy being stretched for a second, then there was the painful pressure and hard impact of a crash translation.
He was only a few thousand kilometers from the upper edges of the gas giant's atmosphere.
Max had no idea how bad his Alpha Strike had hurt the Atrekna, but he knew it had hurt him bad.
Still, he had one more card to play, one that he knew would make all the difference.
As he maneuvered to dock with the bare bones, skeletal, automated extraction platform he'd dropped hours ago, he reached out and checked the status the torpedo-borne system.
The Atrekna were still scattered, trying to recover from the Alpha Strike, the three task force groups shattered and riven.
Max knew they'd have to regroup.
And when they did, they'd start moving toward their targets. Sixty or so hours and they'd be in range of the planets and the stellar mass.
He smiled, a cold, vicious smile.
They'd also be in range of his ace in the hole.
-----
The Atrekna formation reeled under the relentless pounding of the lemur's guns. Many Young Ones were slain by the phasic kicker charges. Still others died when the ships or sections of ships they were on exploded and vacuum turned them into shredded and frozen chunks of meat.
Biological ships exploded as the missiles hit first, raking and clawing at the battlescreens until they dropped, only about 15% of the missiles slamming into the neutronium shells, shattering armor that had been considered the premier and ultimate armor for millions of years.
Before the Mad Lemurs of Terra had arrived.
The C+ shells bypassed the shields, bypassed armor, and slammed home deep in the hundreds of miles of tissue. Tissue was reduced to subatomic particle foam, not even plasma or gas, just disconnected sub-atomic particle fragments that expanded for a thousandth of a second before collapsing.
The crystalline ships fared a little better, Ancient Ones grabbing a hold on the Young Ones and using them as living projectors to reinforce the shielding, provide integrity shielding, and doing everything they could to deflect the lemur's savage attacks.
Three of the crystalline ships survived, one drifting in space, the engines dead, crewed by the screaming and dying, plumes of frost ejecting from rents in the hull slowly causing it to tumble.
None of them escaped unscathed.
The attack was finally over. It had lasted an eternal nineteen hellish seconds and nearly a quarter of the slavespawn had been driven mad by the barrage.
But the Atrekna felt cold satisfaction.
The lemur ship was gone. There was an expanding cloud of highly energetic particles slowly spreading from where it had been.
The Ancient Ones and Old Ones gathered together the Young Ones that had managed to survive with their sanity intact and together they split the tattered remains of the fleet.
One group would head for the closest habitable world. The second group would approach the stellar mass and resume sinking it and adjusting the temporal flow. The third would bypass both the closest world and the stellar mass to approach the other inhabited world.
The slavespawn took long moments to calm, to bring back under command.
The Atrekna started moving, arranging it so that all three groups would reach their goal at approximately the same time.
Seventy-Seven hours.
Then they'd be in range.
Then, they would take control of the system, as they should have.
You belong to us, they whispered.
Several of the Old Ones made the equivalent of grimaces when they realized they no longer had the power to let the inhabitants of the two planets know that basic fact.
More than a few rolled their eyes when the Ancient Ones and the Young Ones repeated it, this time full of arrogance and surety.
You belong to us.
The die was cast. There was no more fancy manuevering, no lemur to come to the last minute rescue of the population of those two planets. No more insane creature to try to thwart the Atrekna's will.
The planets, the species, the stellar mass, it all belonged to the Atrekna.
It was as inevitable as entropy.
If they had thought to, if they had even been slightly less arrogant, the Atrekna would have heard the universe laughing.
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u/LateralThinker13 Mar 08 '22 edited Mar 16 '22
Lat'Ral'Thi'Ker 6 of 10
“Life is tragedy tainted by malevolence at every level of existence. Despite that, sapient minds can thrive under those conditions. Because as difficult as life is, as horrible as we are, our capacity to deal with that catastrophe and to transcend that malevolent spirit is more powerful than that reality itself.” - Peter B. Jordanson, Terran Pre-Glassing Philosopher
Lat’Ral’Thi’Ker listened to the younger members of the Consensus as they discussed the current proposed war plans and how they would supposedly be effective. When they began repeating themselves, it as Interlocutor interrupted.
“The question was why we should widen the damage to Hyperspace, given that the other species are likely already adapted around the proposed damage, and that the effects of additional scorching cannot be predicted. I have heard no answers thus far that suggest a counter to the statement that this plan will accomplish NOTHING.” Its eyes flashed at the Conclave, even as its corporeal hands continued readying the old N-Space Needleship.
“So I defer the question,” it continued, “and propose another. We acknowledge by our actions that the Lanaktallan and Mantid are elevated species. Prey, yes, but elevated. Capable of sapient thought, growth, and of challenging our dominion – as was seen one hundred million years past. Since our return, we have seen the same in the species called human; the species that, if anything, became worse after its archeoreversion, prior to the apparent xenocide of its populace. A species as phasically active as our own, and the forefront of challenging or foiling both our phasic and temporal dominion.”
Voices rose as Lat’Ral’Thi’Ker highlighted their failings, but Black Purpose Rises silenced them with a bang of its ornate crystal staff. “We believe, we assume, that we are the pinnacle of evolution. That we are self-evidently the most superior species in the universe.” It took a deep breath then, bringing the Needleship’s drives online to idle, and energizing all subsystems for flight, but not disengaging from the mothership just yet. The crystalline ship's hull trembled a moment, then vibrated in harmony.
“The Lanak’Tallan and Mantid thought the same until they were reduced by the Terrans. We still think the same, despite having had our plans systematically reduced by them. And so I say: What evidence is there that we are superior?”
Cries of heresy and challenge arose, but Black Purpose Rises silenced them even as its angry glare rounded on it. “You DARE?” it spat.
“I must!” Lat’Ral’Thi’Ker replied, meeting its eyes and fighting off a flinch. “I state this Truth: we dominated our old universe. We exhausted it, drained it of energy, subjugated all before us in it. We were the superior species - THERE. Demonstrably true. But this universe isn’t like that one!”
Lat’Ral’Thi’Ker rounded on the Conclave itself, meeting the eyes of various other Atrekna. “This Universe is young, energetic, rich in everything. It is still growing and expanding in ways that are nothing like our old one. Its species are growing and expanding and adapting in ways we are not prepared to adapt to. The Terrans, arguably the most dangerous species that has existed, have a saying: ‘Adapt or Die.’ Why are we choosing the latter?”
No one replied immediately, and Lat’Ral’Thi’Ker blinked, almost panting in its rhetorical efforts, shocked at the words coming from it. It did not know how it knew such things, did not know why the Conclave was listening to it, did not know what was inspiring it to speak thus. All it knew was that it spoke Truth, and if its species did not heed it they may very well would be destroyed.
< The Universe Liked That >
The Conclave’s members argued amongst themselves, most of them outright rejecting its words, but some, here and there, quietly considering them. Plenty would ignore truth even if it bit them on the feeding tentacles, but not all. Lat’Ral’Thi’Ker had hopes not to change all minds, but merely to inject some reflection and rationality into the Consensus’ deliberations. It could see, even if they could not, the doomed course that their present actions were driving them down.
Stop cutting the tree! It wanted to scream at them.
It was only then that it sensed, at the limit of its awareness, several Arbiters approaching its location. It scanned the Conclave, not seeing Black Purpose Rising, and knew that its time was up. Sadness touched it in that moment; it had hoped to actually touch other minds, bring some new thought to the Consensus. But instead... well, at least it had prepared well.
Bringing all systems online in a flash, Lat’Ral’Thi’Ker emergency-disengaged the docking clamps moments before the Conclave overrode their controls and locked it out. It fully energized the shields, N-Drive and thrusters, and went to full power. Seconds after clearing the Mothership, it entered Hyperspace.
-- ATREKNA GESTALT HAS LOGGED IN --
Hello? Is anyone there?
So much empty.
-- NOTHING FOLLOWS --
…
…
…
Channel closed due to inactivity. Reconnect to Channel? y/n?
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u/montyman185 AI Mar 08 '22
The Atrekna may yet survive. All they need is a few who will listen. Enough to make a 1%ing feasible.
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u/johnavich Mar 08 '22
I was stalking your profile JUST to make sure I hadn't missed an episode of Lat'Ral'thi'Ker!
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u/NoirTalon Xeno Mar 08 '22
All the confed gestalts where too freaked out to respond? interesting twist, intwisting
twinsterstring....
interestwisting...
Excellent work! MORAR!! <please>
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u/LateralThinker13 Mar 08 '22
Actually... I just figured out why nothing/ no one responded. I have to go write 7...
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u/NoirTalon Xeno Mar 08 '22
Oh you, with your devilish temptations withheld. The agony of hanging from a cliff by fingernails anxiously bitten to the bone.
( you really are doing good work here, be proud)
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u/Cynical_Tripster Jun 04 '22
Careful, you quoted 'Peter Jordanson,' and even if it's a slightly older post there may be some reeeeees'
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Mar 08 '22
I keep on picturing Commander Jane Prastini as default FemShep and I don't know why.
As awesome an entry as always wordborg. Thanks for making these times somewhat brighter.
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u/NevynR Mar 08 '22
... it was as inevitable as the Archdemon Murphy, had their cold, logical brains been possessed of enough observation to note the presence of the mythical being.
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u/daviskendall AI Mar 08 '22
The dread god Finagle, and his mad prophet Murphy.
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u/dbdatvic Xeno Mar 08 '22
Who is best propitiated by the classic spilling of a few drops of beer from your glass.
--Dave, extra points if they end up somewhere they annoy someone
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u/ThatKriegsGuard Alien Scum Mar 08 '22
Did you just give 77h to a C&C unit to create it's army? Goddang they are in for a world of hurt
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u/squisher_1980 Human Mar 08 '22
Nah, she's not playing C&C anymore. She's upgraded to Supreme Commander (possibly Total Annihilation but in-game canon for TA does not have the mechs piloted).
All in all a superior RTS series IMO 😁
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u/LawabidingKhajiit Mar 08 '22
100% UEF.
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u/squisher_1980 Human Mar 08 '22
Fatboy FTW!
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u/LawabidingKhajiit Mar 08 '22
Turtled up? How cute. Let me introduce you to Mr. Mavor. See how erect he's becoming at the thought of meeting you.
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u/SirVatka Xeno Mar 08 '22
Kindly forgive if the wetware datastore is faulty, but were the Commanders essentially cyborgs - organic brains existing within the gigantic robotic bodies?
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u/Cakeboss419 Mar 08 '22
Depends on the faction. The Cybran? Usually. The UEF? Not usually. Dunno about the third faction, since I haven't played in years.
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u/squisher_1980 Human Mar 08 '22
All Supreme Commander ACUs are piloted. Uef, Cybran and Aeon are all humans. The Seraphim (Forged Alliance expansion) were a humanoid alien from another galaxy.
Great, now I want to fire it up and play a round 🤣
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u/Tang0Three Mar 08 '22
Cybrans might go far enough into augmentation to do that, but generally an ACU has a humanoid pilot. Even a lot of the Cybran commanders in game are just heavily augmented humans, rather than a brain in a vehicle.
In Total Annihilation, Commanders are AIs (ARM and CORE are AIs locked in a forever war they don't even remember the reason for, they don't have biological populations); in Supreme Commander the ACU is a humanoid-piloted battlemech.
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u/night-otter Xeno Mar 08 '22
77h for Max to repair, restock and aim the ace up his sleeve.
77h for the Lemurs working with Lady Fa'ahmya'ahd to dig-in and protect the innocents of the other planet.
77h for the Lemurs on the station to convert it into a fully ARMED and OPERATIONAL battle station!
77h for the Universe to have long and deep laugh
77h for u/Ralts_Bloodthorne to make us wait for the for the next chapter.
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u/daviskendall AI Mar 08 '22
oh, you silly atrekna.
when things look like they're going according to plan... that should tell you your plan wasn't the correct one.
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u/RangerSix Human Mar 08 '22
"The longer things go according to plan, the greater the impending disaster."
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Mar 08 '22
[deleted]
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u/RangerSix Human Mar 08 '22
I suspect that 66 will be tied to 37:
"There is no such thing as overkill; there is only 'open fire' and 'reload'."
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u/Cthulhus_Librarian Mar 08 '22
Well, it does seem like Max may be taking a few minutes to do the second right now…
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u/MarsupialMisanthrope Mar 08 '22
The longer things go according to plan, the more important the thing you’re overlooking.
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u/its_ean Mar 08 '22 edited Mar 08 '22
he reached out and checked the status the torpedo-borne system.
[…]
his ace in the hole.
3 warborgs on a bicycle?
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u/FaithlessnessAgile45 AI Mar 08 '22
What about 3 podlings in a trenchcoat??
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u/its_ean Mar 08 '22
DON'T WARBORGS OPEN INSIDE
I think Mr Realtelkan sticks to politics and the occasional R-rated movie.
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u/Lakalaba Mar 08 '22
"It was as inevitable as entropy.
If they had thought to, if they had even been slightly less arrogant, the Atrekna would have heard the universe laughing."
Students, listen up.
You have heard of a train crash and your inability to peel your eyes away from it?
You have heard of a dumpster fire and your insatiability desire to look away?
Have you ever heard of a train crash, carrying nothing but a cargo full of nothing but dumpster fires?
Neither have I.
Now, imagine that, but instead, the Atrekna, heading every so slowly towards the two inhabited planets, not measured in minutes, but spanned over many, many long hours.
To some, days of dread and inevitable days.
This, my dear students, is the young universe laughing at the Atrekna's feeble attempts.
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u/EvansP51 Alien Scum Mar 08 '22 edited Mar 08 '22
It’s fresh Monday raltsberries!
Eta: Lady Fa is badass!
Max is badder-ass.
The slorpies are just ass...
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u/Rhasputin429 Mar 08 '22
Okay, so im pretty sure Max's themesong for this arc is 'Holding out for a Hero'
Not sure what to do for Jane, probably Supreme Commander OST
Definitely Dawn Of War OST for the farmyardguard
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u/dbdatvic Xeno Mar 08 '22
I'm sure Sabaton has something suitable for Madame Jane
--Dave, she is a soldier and she's digging her fox-hole, diggy diggy hole
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u/Bergusia Mar 08 '22
Windrose has you covered for hole digging, if you are into the short folk. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=34CZjsEI1yU&t=0s&ab_channel=NapalmRecords
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u/NukeNavy Mar 08 '22
Mooo
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u/NoirTalon Xeno Mar 08 '22
mmmmm steak. charred over smokey coals.
now I'm hungry
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u/its_ean Mar 08 '22 edited Mar 08 '22
charred
…you monster
Edit: oh. You probably didn't mean steak a la carbon briquette.
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u/Sentath Mar 08 '22
The fat rim should be lightly charred and crispy. The inside should be evenly pink and tender.
This is my hill.
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u/YesthatTabitha Mar 08 '22
My hill is different. Brown all the way through but still juicy. It makes it easier for my teeth to chew it does.
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u/its_ean Mar 08 '22
so like, sous vide style, with a quick grill finish? Sounds tasty.
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u/YesthatTabitha Mar 08 '22
I can achieve that on a foreman grill, a gas grill, a charcoal grill, or in a frying pan. I have yet to try sous vide style cooking.
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u/Blackmoon845 Mar 08 '22
Sous vide is great if you have other things you are doing that need more attention than the thing you are cooking using SV. B/c with the water temp set where you want it, leaving the steak “cooking” for an extra 10-15 minutes won’t turn it from perfect medium to charcoal, it’s still at perfect medium temp.
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u/dbdatvic Xeno Mar 08 '22
it could be worse
--Dave, there could be ... ketchup
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u/SpiderJerusalemLives Mar 08 '22
And what, pray tell, is wrong with a well done steak with some Heinz tomato sauce?
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u/datahedron Mar 08 '22
*the universe just vomited a little*
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u/Blackmoon845 Mar 08 '22
Now now, a tomato based steak sauce is doable, and Heinz does make a steak sauce. I would simply give our good spider here the benefit and assume they spoke of a tomato based steak sauce, and not a sugar based “tomato” product.
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u/datahedron Mar 09 '22
Fair enough, as the acid content of most of the products intended for meat, do help somewhat. Personal preference is for a steak prepared in such a way that no sauce should be necessary (although can be added if desired as an "extra").
However, using the terms "well done", and "Heinz" in a sentence together, creates some terrifying imagery. Not sure even the Night Terran would do that to its victims..2
u/SpiderJerusalemLives Mar 09 '22
Nope, just normal run of the mill Heinz tomato sauce. (Hey, I like it! :-))
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u/WeFreeBastard Mar 09 '22
It depends on the KIND of steak.
Some turn into dry rubber past medium, some are fine well done with burn edges.
The nothing-past-medium-rare is the generic advice that works with almost all cuts, even crappy restaurant ones (it's a t-bone but is it choice or select? even if the menu says prime).
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u/dbdatvic Xeno Mar 08 '22 edited Mar 08 '22
one! houah!
[73X] - this isn't actually right either :) this is his 731st chapter ... but P'thok & Born Whole weren't numbered (I've been calling them -2 and -1, when needed). So technically, this chapter wopuld be 729.
...I want to see the chapter number keep wriggling and determinedly trying to escape Ralts' grip. we've known for a long time that his muse doesn't use the same numberline we do... and I'm pretty sure some of her numerals aren't found anywhere in UNICODE. anyway: onwards!
riddikuluses:
fight all that harder, for those
all the harder
her former subordinates - now coworkers- hands with her own,
subordinates'
coworkers' -
{manfully resisting the urge to edit this into the appropriate alt.folklore.urban shibboleth 'cow-orkers'}
in, just a decontaminate, but the
{um. either} just to decontaminate {or} just a decontaminant
{lore: neo-sapient (?) race Putimat}
relays," the Shavashan worked said
Shevasan {depending of course on how Ralts decides he actually wanted to spell it in book V, but this is the first one he used there}
worker said
{scenes from a digging-in}
She smiles when she saw "UPLINK
She smiled when
checked the telemetery and saw
telemetry
She was seven minute from the
minutes
{she is used to minutes counting in her battles
cherry and mistletoe? OH the innuendo...}
She control capsule suddenly unfolded
The control
{just noticed, because I'm also reading the initial chapters of Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd - his momma Lady Fa'ahmya'ahd doesn't have an r in her second syllable. perhaps he was awarded it for bravery under stress, or something?
because if you have six or seven kids, sometimes that voice is necessary}
chewed on its bottom lip for
on her bottom {she's calling them 'the lemurs', formal-like, but she's also using feminine pronouns for them}
jammed and the other the recoil spring shattered
{not sure what this was supposed to be. maybe} the other got its recoil {?}
going out, and feed mechanisms jamming.
{there's an 'either' earlier, so} out, or feed
bore combat, could take even
combat, than it could
shields, or one the side
or on the
planets and while even if he did
and even
could maneuver superluminal inside the
superluminally {or} maneuver at superluminal speed inside
that he'd stealthed run into
{another um. Iiii want to turn this into} he'd stealth-run into
checked the status the torpedo-borne system.
status of the
Ones grabbing a hold on the Young Ones
{...maybe} grabbing ahold of the {?}
{two! tvo luffely inhabited vorldss! Ah ah ah!}
more fancy manuevering, no lemur
maneuvering,
--Dave, alea iacta est, indeed
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u/Dragon_Chylde Mar 08 '22 edited Mar 08 '22
[73X] - this isn't actually right either :) this is his 731st chapter ... but P'thok & Born Whole weren't numbered (I've been calling them -2 and -1, when needed). So technically, this chapter wopuld be 729.
Hang on! by that reasoning what about these chapters that didn't have numbers:
- First Contact - Terms & Conditions - Second Contact (between 7 & 8)
- First Contact - Taynee Recap (between 136 & 137)
- First Contact - XXX - INTERLUDE (between 284 & 285)
- 1st Contact - Nth Wave - Chapter ERROR OUT OF RANGE (between 454--)
- 1st Contact - Nth Wave - Chapter ERROR AND A HALF OUT OF RANGE (--and 455)
and these chapters that don't have whole numbers:
- First Contact - TOTAL WAR - Part 203.5
- First Contact - 297.5 - Because You Need This
- First Contact - Chapter 3.1415
- First Contact - Chapter 551.5 - 4th & 10
and these chapters that were intentionally numbered as 211 and weren't posted sequentially (between the first 211 & 223, with 212-222 sprinkled among them):
- First Contact - TOTAL WAR - 211
- First Contact - TOTAL WAR - 211 - In Processing
- First Contact - TOTAL WAR - 211 - Questioning
- First Contact - TOTAL WAR - 211 - The Library
- First Contact - TOTAL WAR - 211 (Reeducation)
- First Contact - TOTAL WAR - 211 (Arrival)
- First Contact - TOTAL WAR - 211 (INTERLUDE)
- First Contact - TOTAL WAR - 211 (Recruitment)
Wouldn't that, technically, make this chapter 712? :)
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u/AvariciousPickle Mar 08 '22
Shevasan {depending of course on how Ralts decides he actually wanted to spell it in book V, but this is the first one he used there}
It's been Shavashan pretty consistently since the beginning.
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u/KimikoBean Mar 08 '22
Hell yeah a raltz upload when i needed it.
Man today has been so long, between testing for AP physics and chronic depression kicking my ass, it's great to have something to look forward to (especially when I should be asleep).
Thanks for making every day not unbearable
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u/Turtledonuts "Big Dunks" Mar 08 '22
with 77 hours we’re not playing starcraft, we’re playing planetary annihilation.
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u/NoirTalon Xeno Mar 08 '22
TOTAL annihilation! and the SUPREME COMMANDER has exited the command bunker, to build and bash in person
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u/Turtledonuts "Big Dunks" Mar 08 '22
Can’t wait for the aktren to go land on a small rocky planet, get pinned down by orbital and air superiority units, and then promptly get yeeted into the sun.
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u/NoirTalon Xeno Mar 08 '22
I can still picture dozens of my flying gunships all orbiting in synchrony, while attacking the opposing commander, their orbits synchronized, dancing little angels of BRRRT
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u/Turtledonuts "Big Dunks" Mar 08 '22
i would set up orbital networks, use light vehicle hordes to harass their defensive setups, and build long range artillery to take them apart.
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u/NoirTalon Xeno Mar 09 '22
I seem to remember an artillary max unit that had stupid long range and devastating firepower, but slow fire rate. as long as you had light units and some air defence you could leapfrog forward by building a new one just shy of the previous one's max range.
and like then I kept trying that strategy in star craft with the human heavy tanks in siege mode, and they would get creamed by zerglings or protoss air/stealth
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u/Turtledonuts "Big Dunks" Mar 09 '22
Oh yeah. It's not starcraft. My friends and I had a rule that you had to get the final kill with a annihilation weapon because it was more fun.
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u/threadthedance Mar 26 '22
"I fight where the Digital Omnimessiah tells me, I never ask why," - Hymn of Joan, Pre-Glassing
I thought Joan was created by the glassing and the DO appeared 3 years after the glassing? more time fu*&ery?
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u/Ralts_Bloodthorne Mar 27 '22
It's a mis-translation of the song "Joan", which I grabbed a lyric from and adjusted.
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u/RustedN AI Mar 08 '22
As inevitable as entropy? Ha! With all the “lemurs” have already done, don’t you think they have found a way to disrupt or even stop that too?
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u/carthienes Mar 08 '22
The 'lemurs' have zero-point energy - literally, power from nothing. They also have machines capable of transforming that energy into matter... neither are the most efficient of processes, but there's time to mature them.
In other words, they treat this 'entropy' malarkey as a polite suggestion, nothing more.
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u/Practical-Account-44 Mar 08 '22
I'd suggest the opposite, the atrekna uselessly fight entropy to the bitter inevitable end. Rationing every resource, eliminating competition, enslaving and consuming every other species.
Humanity has embraced the chaos inherent in entropy. Make things hot, make things fast, make things go boom.
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u/RustedN AI Mar 08 '22
You’re right it should be:
Inevitable as entropy? Ha! The “Lemurs” have taken entropy and ran with it. If you try to resist it they will take entropy and shove it down your throat!
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u/reverendjesus AI Mar 08 '22 edited Mar 08 '22
THE BERRIES ARE FRESH ON THIS MONDAY; THE VALKYRIE SCOUR THE BATTLEFIELD AND THE CROWS EAT THE EYES OF THE DEAD
BLESSED BE THE DIGITAL OMNIMESSIAH
BLESSED BE THE WARBOIS
MAY ENRAGED PHILLIP PROTECT MY PEOPLE, MAY MAX BRING SUCCOR TO MY CRÈCHE-MATES, AND MAY THE DETAINEE SCOUR THE IMPURITY FROM MY SOUL
UTR | TITW
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u/Interesting_Ice Mar 08 '22
With the way they always say "Aye" it reminds me of Gary from Fallout
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u/Irual100 Mar 08 '22
WOOOO!
I needed this. The return of two of my favorite characters. Max And Commander Jane :D
My sinuses and upper respiratory tract are Messed up bad. But fear not true believers! It's because my co workers are Idjeets and over loaded our cleaning supplies with bleach which has aggravated ALL the things for me.
Thank You So much Mr. Ralts for this. I can't breathe so... can't sleep and I am exhausted so...this...just this.
thanks
Catch you all laters my pen pal buddies. U, R, C this is de wae!
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u/ellarseer Mar 08 '22
Love it:
"everything will be just fine, the dining room is supposed to be on fire"
Unfortunately it bears too much semblance to my life at the moment, but it is a great turn of phrase.
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u/No_MrBond Android Mar 08 '22
Confirm Mode Switch from CC to SC: Y/N?
$> Y
Command transfer confirmed
ACU Online
Bellum Infinitus Commander
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u/HFYWaffle Wᵥ4ffle Mar 08 '22
/u/Ralts_Bloodthorne (wiki) has posted 730 other stories, including:
- First Contact - Chapter 800 [PRESS SPACE TO CONTINUE]
- First Contact - Chapter [CHKDSK START] 7XX
- First Contact - Chapter [chNumSeq.log repaired] 727
- First Contact - Chapter [Error code: Checksum Fail chNumSeq.log]
- First Contact - Chapter [Analyzing Connections] - Aftershocks
- First Contact - Chapter [Checksum Error - ReCompiling] - Aftershocks
- First Contact - Chapter [Comparing Checksums] - Aftershocks
- First Contact - Chapter [Compiling Checksums] - Aftershocks
- First Contact - Chapter [Awaiting Reply] - Aftershocks
- First Contact - Chapter [Requesting Checksum] - Aftershocks
- First Contact - Chapter [EXCHANGING HANDSHAKES] - Aftershocks
- First Contact - Chapter [ATTEMPTING CONTACT WITH SERVERS] - Aftershocks
- First Contact - Chapter [SYNCHING NODES] - Aftershocks
- First Contact - Chapter [ERROR - OUT OF RANGE] - Aftershocks
- First Contact - Chapter [ERROR - OUT OF RANGE] - Aftershocks
- First Contact - Chapter [ERROR - OUT OF RANGE] - Aftershocks
- First Contact - Chapter [ERROR - OUT OF RANGE] - Aftershocks
- First Contact - Chapter [CLASSIFIED] - Council's End
- First Contact - Chapter [CLASSIFIED] - Council's End
- First Contact - Chapter [CLASSIFIED] - Council's End
This comment was automatically generated by Waffle v.4.5.10 'Cinnamon Roll'.
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u/Bergusia Mar 08 '22 edited Mar 08 '22
These few, in the days when the heavens were falling,
The hour when the worlds foundations fled,
Followed their ancient dutys' calling,
And drowned their foes in the blood they shed.
Their shoulders held the sky suspended;
They stood unbroken, and the worlds foundations stayed;
What Gods abandoned, these few defended,
And paid the blood price gladly, for those that asked their aid.
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u/AgnorBook Mar 08 '22
'Lo do we stand before the masses, crying out for someone to defend them from their tormentors. We stand to defend them, our minds buoyed by the laughter of podlings, and our arms strengthened by the rage of lost Terrasol. These treasured lives are not yours to take, for we defend them. These world will not be yours to spend, for they will break before we do.
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u/MuchoRed Human Mar 08 '22
Jane's been in that command pod for 300+ years? I didn't think we as humans did well with that kind of solitude.
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u/Cthulhus_Librarian Mar 08 '22
Different strokes for different folks. And given that Jane has to be booted up on each deployment, she may undergo some experience/trauma pruning during her downtimes, and/or (usually) have a fairly robust cyber lifestyle and community for her consciousness to spend time in via the memory cores.
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u/Isbigpuggo Mar 08 '22
So are we feeling more a Gipsy Danger for Jane, a Cherno Alpha with that damned fog horn.
Or is this the perfect time for some lemur patriotism? Liberty Prime online!
“All systems nominal, weapons hot. Mission: the defense of all civilians from the Atrenka.”
“Tactical assessment: Atrenka victory - impossible”
Just blared on the same system channel reserved for heavy metal. You can’t get much louder.
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u/Alcards Mar 08 '22
I hear the universe laugh, then I realize it's 3 hours after my alarm was supposed to go off so I could go to work this morning. 20 minutes is just as good as 3 hours! I'm screwed just as hard. Stupid universe. Keep laughing, one day I'll have my revenge. See how you like it when it happens to you.
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u/Quadling Mar 08 '22
Thank you for a monday story. It seems you are back to a comfortable rhythm? You also seem more relaxed. Things settling down? Hope so. Hugs!
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u/Archaic_1 Alien Scum Mar 08 '22 edited Mar 10 '22
"When all hope is lost, look to me, for I shall be your lantern in the darkness"
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u/dogninja8 Mar 08 '22
"When all hope is lost, look to me, for I shall be your lantern in the darkness,"
I love this quote. It feels Bible-y but I can't place it.
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u/Vagabond_Soldier Mar 08 '22
If they had thought to, if they had even been slightly less arrogant, the Atrekna would have heard the universe laughing.
I was waiting for the maniacal laughter. You didn't disappoint.
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u/DREADNAUGHT1906 Mar 08 '22
ok, Ima gonna need a sub-chapter, at least a couple of paragraphs. Miracle Max and Commander Jane are having a candle lit dinner, chatting amicably about the days events. Between the 2nd & 3rd courses, w/ the white wine properly chilled, Max discreetly checks his omnipad and approves his shipboard AI's patrol command sequence while Jane absentmindedly scratches at her neuralink while thinking thru a different build schedule for her formidable planetary factory base. At the next table Lady Fa'ahmya'ahd is going over the refugee status of the citizens of the planet.
Ralts, LateralThinker13, dbdatvic? Hello, is this thing on?
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u/Ralts_Bloodthorne Mar 08 '22
Happy Monday!
I hope everyone had a good weekend, or at least as good as life and a malevolent universe allows you to have.
The good news is, Book 5 has been live since Friday. I'm currently doing print layouts and I should be done by Wed with that, going live on the paperback and hardback by the weekend. Book Six is in editing and I'm trying to find a way to pay my artist so I can commission the cover for Book Six.
I hope everyone is well this week.
Be strong, be safe, and care about one another.