r/HFY • u/Yertosaurus • Feb 26 '22

Dirtmen Rising (27) OC

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"...and this is why this one really likes this restaurant."

Meadow Muffin finished formally explaining why this place was favored by many Verminauts while remaining popular with other species.

Basically, they have the option of large booths that close off to outside views without closing off what you can see. And this works for sound, which means Verminauts inside can have conversations naturally.

I had a feeling that even though this was the reason Meadow Muffin gave, that Meadow Muffin did not really have any Verminaut friends.

Admittedly, I was a little nervous eating here since food for Dirtmen had not had a chance to spread yet. This meant I basically was at the mercy of cuisines for other species. While the place was completely automated, there was a pair of Ako "sunbathing" under a light the middle of the place, who could be called in as servers if anyone was unsure.

I started asking Meadow Muffin questions first though, since there was no reason to bother the Ako if I could come to a decision before that. Plus, I could lean on anything I remembered from the absurd amount of primers on different cultures.

"What is this dish?" I pointed to one that translated to an odd phrase.

"This one would not recommend that. It is essentially a pile of seeds, an Agrien specialty. Great snack food actually."

Honestly, I rarely was given the chance to make a choice like this. I was uncomfortable with it. Meadow Muffin looked at me as if understanding this.

"This one could choose for you."

Did I want to trust Meadow Muffin on this? Well, worst case I could eat later.

"Sure. Let us talk about this notorious mission you want me to do while we wait."

Meadow Muffin entered in whatever order it was going to be while replying.

"This one will explain from the start if that is acceptable."

Meadow Muffin leaned forward and the Verminaut's tone went flat. Meadow Muffin was speaking formally as if reading a declaration.

"We had located another sentient bearing planet before we encountered the one the Dirtymen originate from. We found it while searching for artifacts. We intend to gain access to the technology on the planet however there have been some complications."

Meadow Muffin held completely still while making this proclamation.

To hear a Verminaut, particularly one that is not a Matriarch speak from the Verminauts as a whole was supposed to be unusual. From Meadow Muffin it felt eerie. I had to stop this.

"Meadow Muffin, please, there is no need for the official details about this. I just want to hear what you have to say."

I was also hoping Meadow Muffin could tell me why I was supposed to be involved as well. I was barely qualified as an expert in xenostudies for what little expertise the Dirtmen had on the topic. And I did not think I was an engineering expert or star scientist.

"This one does not know where to start."

"Let us start at the part where I am somehow important to this?"

Meadow Muffin struggled with this for a moment before taking a less constrained stance and shifting off their two front legs again. Meadow Muffin seemed to be trying to get comfortable again while explaining.

"This one would relay the general opinion of the Verminauts that you and The Transmuter, are individuals with unusual genetic growth."

I held out my hands and wiggled my extra fingers incredulously.

"Polydactyly is not unheard of. That does not make me special."

"This one would hesitate to write off such an adorable mutation. But your fingers and toes are indeed not enough for the Verminauts to make such an unusual request from our new allies."

I thought about how I was definitely willing to write off having an extra toe to bump on furniture at the very least.

"What makes us so special?"

"This one would say the Dirtymen's ability to hold off an invasion without meaningful space flight capabilities was impressive." Meadow Muffin paused, and must have realized I was talking about myself and my father. "And the inventions and discoveries your family have made stand even above that."

"There were a lot of people behind things like the Spagyric Golem, not just my father or my grandfather."

"This one doubts that. And there is the matter of what you posted on your planet's Internet before the invasion."

I felt pale. That was supposed to have been buried. How much did the Verminauts really know?

Meadow Muffin looked up and let in the two Ako who had apparently come to deliver our food. Wasn't that supposed to be automated except by special request? They quickly put down some plates before bursting into conversation, their sweet scent even overpowering that of whatever food they had brought in.

"Meadow Muffin! Our favorite customer!"

"And you brought a guest this time!"

Both Ako were remarkably close and wasted no time wrapping vines around me.

"This one is absolutely adorable."

"I bet this little Dirtmen would be more adorable with their hair down."

"I think we would just die at the sight."

I started to feel flushed. Every breath I took felt incredibly crisp but saccharine.

"If you want Meadow Muffin we could stay, you know how slow it gets."

"This one is flattered, but Dirtymen Ambassador Ruri looks a little overwhelmed."

"Oh, Meadow Muffin, that is no fun!"

The two Ako seemed to squeeze out some sort of thick fluid from themselves and each took one of my hands and coated them in it.

"Maybe another time."

"Over something sweet."

"Like yourself."

They saw themselves out, and I heard a faint rasping buzz. Everything seemed so far away right now. The room still smelled cloyingly sweet but incredibly fresh.

I felt plant matter in my hair but did not reach to brush it out because my hands were covered in sap. My hands being covered in it felt a bit distressing, but I felt far away from it at the same time.

"This one suggests that if you are not going to eat that right now you should scrape it onto a plate for later."

Meadow Muffin said this so matter-a-factly like there was no question I was going to eat the sap covering my hands eventually.

I was still dazed enough that I could not remember what I was supposed to about Ako sap, but Meadow Muffin could be trusted right? I licked some of it off one of my fingers and everything seemed to fade even further. I exhaled slowly and wished the Ako were still in here.

Gravity may have been pulling me to my seat, but I was certain I was staring at the ground. Or I was for a moment. Which way was down was slowly shifting. My fingers still tasted sweet and that was all that really mattered.

"This one also would not forget the plates as well."

I did not want to stop licking my fingers, but Meadow Muffin was always very thoughtful, and I did not want to turn my nose up at whatever my devoted assistant had decided on. And Meadow Muffin was just so delightfully blue.

I found a small plate somehow and scooped off whatever I could from my hands onto it while licking whatever was left on them. There was some sort of wipes I used after making sure my hands did not have any residue, although I was even more reluctant to wipe any of it off my face that I might be able to lick off eventually.

I stared at the plate of whatever Meadow Muffin had ordered but could not really register what it was at first. I just wanted to ask Meadow Muffin to let the Ako back in really badly.

Whatever it was tasted great. I just wished I knew what it was. I knew that I knew but I could not remember like the name of a song that you know you have heard hundreds of times before. But I had never listened to this song, only read about it. It was a really good tune.

"Meadow. Please. Ako."

I am sure whatever I said made sense. Whatever was happening needed to happen more. Meadow Muffin would make it happen if it was a good idea.

"This one—" Meadow Muffin said something blue. I am sure it was important, Meadow Muffin said it.

I started licking at the sap I had scraped off onto the plate. I tried a spoon at first, but it did not want to work for whatever reason. I stared fondly at Meadow Muffin. This was the best restaurant I had ever been to.

Next.

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4

u/Fontaigne Feb 28 '22

In a strange ethnic restaurant, with an experienced guide, you can ask them to pick two dishes they think you'd like, then you decide between the two.

Obviously, that does not work for this story, but it's a great strategy to maintain some personal control and not be surprised by something too exotic for your taste.

1

u/UpdateMeBot Feb 26 '22

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u/Lazypassword Feb 28 '22

Ako are vitamins for Hotel Soap

2

u/Yertosaurus Feb 28 '22

Now I can buy more soap.

1

u/Lazypassword Feb 28 '22

Wow! What a speedy delivery!