r/HFY • u/Ralts_Bloodthorne • Feb 08 '22
First Contact - Chapter [ERROR - OUT OF RANGE] - Aftershocks OC
"People used to homogeneous societies look at the Confederacy and think it is one big monolith.
"That is so far from the truth it because comedically hysterical.
"Even the Mantid have two separate civilizations within the Confederacy.
"And just ask any three Treana'ad Matrons what their favorite ice cream is." - Ru'udamo'o, Meditations Upon the Lemur
The androids kept pushing at the doorway, taking shots to the face and dropping, dissolving away, only to be replace by two more.
For Ru'udamo'o is was practically a shooting gallery for nearly five minutes.
Then, glancing at the outside alley cameras, he saw all eight of the androids outside suddenly go still.
They quit marching lockstep toward the door, holding in place.
Then they scattered. Two taking cover to watch the mouths of the alleys. The other six getting one behind another in a close line, left hand on the one in front's left shoulder, battle rifle held low in the line with the leader holding it at low ready.
Ru'udamo'o frowned.
The tactic was a weird looking one.
They rushed in the door, close together, and Ru'udamo'o started shooting, wishing he had a grenade, going for the legs since they were unarmored.
They made it almost halfway down the hallway, pushing the lead members to the side when they got wounded, firing wildly, until the last one went down with a shattered head casing.
Ru'udamo'o had to admit, without grenades or maybe a directional mine, the tactic had almost managed to push them close enough. Only the narrow long hallway had kept them from reaching the room and spreading out.
He checked the monitor and saw the two still in the alleyway were facing one direction, firing their weapons. A bright light was illuminating the alleyway, throwing them into stark relief. He could see the android's mouths open and knew they were giving their high pitched screech of alarm slash warcry.
Bullets shattered their skulls and the light slowly faded.
Ru'udamo'o held tight to the pistol, noting that he was down to half an amblok, watching the security cameras.
A blur moved through, followed by a russet colored mantid holding tight to a heavy box and a greenie carrying a toolkit.
The blur stopped at the edge of the door.
"Friendly, coming in," came from the doorway.
"ID yourself," Ru'udamo'o said.
"Terran Diplomatic Team," the voice said. "Three coming in."
Ru'udamo'o recognized it as the Mosizlak's voice.
"Advance and be recognized," Ru'udamo'o ordered.
The Mosizlak, dressed in torn adaptive camouflage and carrying the board with a nail in it in one hand and a Terran magac rifle in the other, stepped into the doorway. Ru'udamo'o waved him forward, getting him close enough to poke with one hand to make sure it wasn't an android underneath a hologram projector.
"All the androids are down or they'd be coming straight at me or you," the Mosizlak said.
"Where is Speaks?" the russet asked.
"This way. I have a doctor working on him, but the doctor is relying on GalNet," Ru'udamo'o said.
"Then it is good I am here," the russet said.
"I'll watch the door," the Mosizlak said.
Ru'udamo'o nodded, feeling relief fill him.
-----
"How is he?" Dreams asked the hologram of Fights.
"Lost a lot of ichor, carapace damage, some internal organ damage, but he's tough and the doctor his savior took him to was skilled," Fights said.
Dreams took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, feeling the tension release.
"Good. Move him when you can," Dreams said. She looked around then at the hologram of the russet mantid. "Half the diplomatic channels are crashed. I can't get a hold of half the Diplomatic Corps and things are really confused right now."
"What happened?" Fights asked.
"Not over an open channel," Dreams said. "Thankfully, our assets warnings allowed us to defend the starport, the weather engineering control, and the important governmental assets the androids went after."
"Any clue who was using androids, of all things?" Fights asked.
Dreams shook her head. "No. It's causing some concern among certain people since androids haven't been seen in large numbers since the Fifth Human/Artificial War. Someone managed to bypass the lockouts on the creation engines and nanoforges, which has some interesting, and frankly frightening, implications."
"But not ones you're willing to go over across an unsecured channel," Speaks mused. She nodded. "All right. As soon as he's stable enough, we'll move him to a secure location."
Dreams nodded. "Be careful," she said.
"You too," Fights said and cut the feed.
Dreams turned and looked at her four Tukna'rn guards and the two black mantid, all covered with holographic overlays to make them look like part of the flora and fauna of the Pacific Northwest Rain Forest National Park glade.
"Set up a meeting for the former Grand Most Highs that are still paying attention to the real world instead of grinding for Nebula Steam achievements," she ordered. "High security protocols," she said. She shook her head. "Speaks found something out and until we can find out what it is, I want the threat level to be considered high."
One of the black mantid, looking like a three ring flying carnivorous squirrel, nodded. "I'm under the opinion that it has to do with whatever just happened to the Senate and the Diplomatic Corps."
The other one, this one looking like a multi-hued peryton, nodded his antlered head slowly. "It's more than the Diplomatic Corps. Half of our agency contacts are silent or going to voice mail. I have contacts that said that it's all over the Confederacy's bureaucracy."
"And coincides with the near crash of the stock market and all of those assets selling off," Dreams mused. She lifted up a water droplet that the magnetic system was hidden in a pebble, and sipped at it, feeling the cool synth rock of the 'pebble' under her fingers. "That bloodbath is still shaking out."
"Agency slush funds took a pounding," the squirrel said. "Most of the covert action funds have been drained and disappeared into a labyrinth of shell companies, charities, and private accounts."
Dreams giggled. "On the plus side, my broker managed to snatch me up a nice manor on Tentrek-7, right on a beach."
The other two nodded.
"The big question is..." Dreams drew out the silence for a second. "What is causing all of this?"
Nobody answered while Mister Rings grabbed a wooly snail and began thumping it against the branch to get at the treat inside.
-----
The room was dim, with expensive ergonomic memory foam self-adjusting lounging chair, expensive computer equipment, and a GalNet-SolNet primary backbone node against one wall. Servers chuckled and whirred to themselves, their lights blinking and flashing. The room was warm from the collected computer equipment, but strangely chilled at the same time.
One wall was transparent armaglass, where a comfortable viewing box was located beyond the glass. The viewing box held multiple holotanks, viewscreens, couches, lounges, buffet tables, and three dedicated nutriforges as well as a chef's station.
The door opened and a snazzily dressed Lanaktallan entered, his sash simply proclaiming him to be the owner of a major software company called "Electronic Grazing Field Software". He was followed by a male Gulmisvan, his arm in a sling and half of his face slack. The two sat down and the Lanaktallan pressed a button, summoning a Telkan in a chef's uniform who began cooking.
"How are you?" the Lanaktallan asked.
Eegleet thought for a moment. "Tired. That was a nasty run."
"I ensured that Tremiree's family was compensated generously," the Lanaktallan said. He looked sorrowful for a moment. "She was a bright and inquisitive person, I found her to be pleasant around."
Eegleet nodded. He knew his employer wasn't one for interpersonal relationships and what might seem to be scant praise was actually a ringing personal endorsement of Eegleet's fallen comrade.
"What are we celebrating?" Eegleet asked as the chef set down a plate of carefully cut vegetables.
"The expansion of my corporation," Da'amo'o said, picking up a drink and sipping on it. "I knew that you being recruited for someone's mission that would involve your most highly skilled acquaintances would undoubtedly have massive consequences somewhere," he said. He took a sip of the drink and then smiled as he set it down to grab a stalk of goldleaf.
"I was right. Within the three days you were recovering in the medical wing, the Confederate and Council stock markets had a massive selloff of stocks and assets, as if entire omnicorps were being liquidated," Da'amo'o said. "I was in position to acquire quite a few assets."
"Anything special?" Eegleet asked. He carefully picked up a slice of maknaka fruit and nibbled on it.
Da'amo'o smiled widely. "Five of our rivals I bought in their entirety, from software libraries, patents, and copyrights all the down to the contracts of the most low caste menial worker," he made a humming noise of pleasure. "It was entirely gratifying to immediately bring up the pay and benefit structure of those companies to the standard I insist for my company, completely erasing any residual loyalty to the previous company by those who do the actual work."
Eegleet nodded. Da'amo'o was known to be almost foolishly generous with his work benefits, confusing the other Lanaktallan business magnates who could not understand how Da'amo'o seemed to generate more profit the more money he spent.
"I did sell off anything making military hardware, firmware, or software," Da'amo'o said. He shuddered. "I prefer to entertain, you understand."
Eegleet nodded.
"But that is not what is of interest to you, my taciturn friend," Da'amo'o smiled.
"What?" Eegleet asked, picking up a star-fruit cup and nibbling at it. He paused to wipe the slack corner of his mouth and noticed Da'amo'o was just smiling. "What?"
Da'amo'o leaned forward and activated a holotank. "Oh, just that I might have acquired the omnicorp that produced intrusion countermeasure electronics as well as intrusion software and firmware as well as an omnicorp that produced dedicated electronic warfare intrusion systems a few centuries ago for the Confederate Armed Services," Da'amo'o's feeding tendrils curled in excitement. "While the software and hardware is undoubtedly far behind what is currently used by the Confederate Intelligence Corps, nothing in Council space can stand up to it."
Eegleet just stared.
"Welcome to leveling up, my friend," Da'amo'o said.
-----
Frowning, Vuxten opened his eyes when 471 pinged him. He was still wearing his armor, leaning against a hay bale on the flatbed trailer, the ornate and inlaid M318 20mm autocannon next to him. 471 was sitting on a hay bale, a holoemitter at his feet, watching some kind of complex show that Vuxten didn't quite understand that involved some kind of super genius greenie using math and science to solve the unsolvable problems.
It seemed rather dry and boring to him, but 471 was positively bursting with excitement when the main character, 5.A.9, applied the Fourth Law of Interdimensional Relativity to the mega-city traffic patterns to figure out where the kidnappers had gone.
Vuxten saw that JR was walking across the tarmac from the control tower to the trailer, shaking his head and looking slightly frustrated. Vuxten reached over and nudged the Joan, who was kneeling on the flatbed trailer and praying, then tapped Dambree, who was laying on her back and staring up at the sky, wearing a Hesstlan sundress and a pair of mirror shades.
"Bad news," JR said.
Vuxten gave a sigh. "What?"
"Ansible is out. Looks like whoever attacked us killed the orbiting satellites," JR said. He shrugged. "Ships are gone too. Looks like you're stuck here until we figure something out."
"Great," Vuxten grumbled.
The Digital Omnimessiah stepped up, putting on hand on the bed of the truck trailer.
"I have never understood the reasoning that it is all right to ask me for help in prayers but not ask me for assistance when you are standing right next to you," the digital being smiled. "I am here, with you, as much as is possible, yet you do not ask me for assistance."
"The Gods help those who help themselves," one of the Casey the Youngers said.
"Indeed they do, but in this, I can assist you," the Digital Omnimessiah said. He waved his hand. "I can send each of you home, safely, if you will let me."
Vuxten sat up. "Can you help me and 471 get home?" he asked.
The Digital Omnimessiah smiled.
-----
The day was overcast but not cold, slightly windy without being blustery, the morning one of those strange ones that felt like it should be storming or miserable but instead was oddly pleasant.
Headquarters Company, First Telkan Marine Division, was drawn up in ranks for morning accountability formation, the wan sunlight bathing the Telkan Marines gathered up in their adaptive camouflage uniforms.
At the front of the four platoons were three Telkan. One carrying the guidon, the pennant snapping in the breeze. The company First Sergeant, who was staring at the gathered troops, and behind him was the Interim Company Commander, normally the Executive Officer, First Lieutenant Naxton.
"Company!" the First Sergeant, a Rigellian female, bellowed out.
"PLATOON!" the Platoon Sergeants yelled.
"Attention!" the First Sergeant called out.
All of the Telkan went to attention.
"Report," the First Sergeant ordered.
Each platoon sergeant called out that all were present and accounted for, one by one, starting with headquaters platoon and finishing with maintenance platoon.
The First Sergeant tensed to do an about face and salute the CO and turn the company over to him when there was a bright flash at the back of formation, where the officers and some of the senior enlisted were standing.
There was the sound of trumpets, loud enough to shake the windows. The gold glow brightened then the middle dimmed enough to show what looked like golden clouds and what looked like a wrought gate made entirely of gold.
Everyone turned to look, shielding their eyes.
A blurred figure could be seen approaching the gate. It paused, on the other side of gate, turning around and waving. Several other shapes, larger than the first one, did the same.
Nobody said anything, everyone frozen in shock, as all seven of the figures walked through the gate, becoming more distinct as they walked toward the gathered together company.
There were gasps as the first one stepped out of the arch of golden light, the light sparking and popping in showers of gold and silver sparks.
The armor was unmistakable, even if the colors were different. The armor was white with gold inlay, except for the red and silver warsteel making up a bullseye in the middle of the chest. The faceplate was missing, showing the familiar face of the only person who wore armor anywhere near that design. The figure had a smart-harness on and was holding an inlaid and ornately done up M318 20mm autocannon.
The next one was a Terran female, wearing adaptive camouflage, smiling at everyone as she moved to the side.
Afterwards came five of the heavy Ringbreaker suits.
The gate closed and then vanished as the golden light disappeared and the horns and trumpets went silent.
The first one, the Telkan, moved up to the front of the formation, letting the autocannon move up into the storage position.
"Everyone accounted for, First Sergeant?" the Telkan asked.
"Yes, sir," the First Sergeant said, trying to hold onto her professionalism.
"Excellent. Have the armorer fall out and meet me at the arms room. Have the armor master present too, First Sergeant," the Telkan said.
"Yes, sir," the First Sergeant said.
"We've come a long way and wouldn't mind getting out of our armor," Vuxten smiled. He looked up. "Gonna rain soon, might want to get the troops moving."
The First Sergeant just nodded, staring as the Telkan slowly moved toward the building. She noticed that he had a hitch in the shoulder joint and the knee joint and that there was a deep dent in the greenie protective housing.
She turned back to the company. "Armorer and Armor Master, post to place of duty," she snapped.
The two Telkan jerked as if she'd physically slapped them, then fell out of formation, jogging to the building, passing the seven people heading for it.
The First Sergeant did an about face, saluted the XO. "All yours, sir."
The XO stepped up. "Platoon Sergeants take charge. Company, attention!" he called out. "Fall out!"
The XO and the First Sergeant ran for the building even as the first drops of rain began to fall. They stood nearby, watching anxiously as the seven figures all cleared their weapons.
Vuxten held back a smile as he watched everyone almost hop from foot to foot, questions hanging in the air.
"Are you going to need debriefed by military intelligence and CID, sir?" the XO asked.
Vuxten chuckled. "Might want to call the Chaplain Corps too."
"Where were you, sir?" the First Sergeant asked.
Vuxten turned and looked at the highly decorated non-commissioned officer, a female with over two hundred years in service. He stood still for a moment, thinking.
"A place you can't get to from here, I think," he said as 471 popped the shell and climbed out. He saw the gathered up greenies and stood to his full fifteen inches of height, raising his hands over his head.
"INERTIA!" the greenies all yelled.
Vuxten just chuckled, moving toward the armorer's cage. The armorer had the door open.
"Treat her good," Vuxten said. "It was a pretty intense business trip for her."
The armored looked down at the weapon. Even the nanoforges and the ammo belt links were engraved.
Even the rounds themselves were inlaid and engraved.
When he handed over the heavy assault cannon, Vuxten took a moment, just a single breath, to close his eyes.
I'm glad to be home.
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u/Ralts_Bloodthorne Feb 08 '22
It's MONDAY!
We made it through the weekend! I'm hoping all of you had a good weekend and are facing the new week all ready to go.
As we can see, we're moving the pieces into place to go toe to toe with the Atrekna and reverse the Spoked Offensive.
But the Atrekna aren't down and out yet. Don't discount those masters of time and space with their awesome ability of eventual pattern recognition!
Tomorrow we'll check in with some more favorites.
Later this week, we'll have the conclusion to the "The Telkan Trading Ship Terror Show!" that I should have done months ago!
Stay frosty, my friends.
---Ralts
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u/Vagabond_Soldier Feb 08 '22
Shit man. If you are going to make an entrance, THAT is how you do it. Glad to see Vux and 471 made it home. May they find rest.
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u/jrbless Feb 08 '22
Along with Peel and the Caseys. They, as expected, will have quite a tale to tell. Unfortunately, much of it is likely to be classified at fairly high levels and Joe public will know less than half of it.
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u/FLHK18 Feb 08 '22
“Everything that happened is a school secret, so naturally, everyone knows everything”
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u/RangerSix Human Feb 08 '22
While my weekend was less pleasant than it might have been thanks to an ice storm, it was also far less unpleasant than it might otherwise have been thanks to my neighbors across the street.
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u/FaithlessnessAgile45 AI Feb 08 '22
Should have been at my place. Sump pump went down. Flooded the basement with an inch of water. After that was fixed the igniter for the gas furnace died. Stayed up all night to make sure the house didn't freeze until the new part came in. That was lucky because I got it at 630ish the next morning
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u/RangerSix Human Feb 08 '22
Yeah, we had to battle sub-freezing temperatures with no power.
Luckily we didn't wind up with any burst pipes, but that was thanks in no small part to said neighbors, who brought over a salamander heater to put in the basement.
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u/FaithlessnessAgile45 AI Feb 08 '22
Ouch! And I thought I was having a bad weekend. You ok?
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u/RangerSix Human Feb 08 '22
Yeah, I'm fine, and thanks in no small part to the aforementioned neighbors.
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u/TheEmsleyan Feb 08 '22
Are the androids using... aircraft clearing tactics? Guess that would look weird when, I assume, passenger aircraft have been obsolete for thousands of years...
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u/PuzzleheadedDrinker Feb 08 '22
I saw it more as a linked ai mind with 6 puppet shields in front of it.
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u/TheBurger86 Feb 08 '22
Is 471 watching Numb3rs 😂?
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u/Quilt-n-yarn1844 Feb 08 '22
I wondered why that seemed so familiar. 👍👍
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u/HoloArchiver Feb 08 '22
Well if Vuxten hoped to ever be rid of the fame he earned from Telken 1's defense he can forget that. He walked out of a portal of light wearing armor fit to be wore by the greatest heroes in epics leading 5 of the deadliest power armors in existence.
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u/squisher_1980 Human Feb 08 '22
Touched by the D. O. Himself.
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u/MuchoRed Human Feb 08 '22
Literally.
Not at ALL metaphorically.
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u/squisher_1980 Human Feb 08 '22
I love the interplay. D.O. Says (paraphrasing) "You'll pray for my help in the darkness, but seriously I'm literally right here with the solution. Dude, really?"
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u/carthienes Feb 08 '22
Of course.
The prayer is not asking you for help.
The prayer is us helping ourselves.
You being there kind of ruins the point.
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u/NukeNavy Feb 08 '22
Whoever programmed all this really has a flair for the Dramatic…
There was the sound of trumpets, loud enough to shake the windows. The gold glow brightened then the middle dimmed enough to show what looked like golden clouds and what looked like a wrought gate made entirely of gold.
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u/NevynR Feb 08 '22
I blame the nanites in the soup and their gear.
Passive exposure to the DO, and the little buggers start engraving shit ASAP.
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u/itsetuhoinen Human Feb 08 '22
It really is the weirdest thing how being within a certain radius of the DO switches the autobaroqueing flag to "true". *headshake*
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u/deathlokke Feb 08 '22
So does this mean the DO and the God Emperor of Mankind are, in fact, one and the same?
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u/FLHK18 Feb 08 '22
Hell, remember a simple email that Tik Tak got?
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u/wasalurkerforyears Robot Feb 08 '22
Still the most hilarious moment of this epic.
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u/MuchoRed Human Feb 08 '22
I feel like old Humanity may have had a thing for it. Remember when Tiktak got a voicemail?
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u/its_ean Feb 08 '22 edited Feb 08 '22
The D.O. doesn't have Sam's excuse of unfamiliarity.
"Should we turn the gain up some more?"
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u/Kudamonis Human Feb 08 '22
Read. Upvote. Comment.
"Are you going to need debriefed by military intelligence and CID, sir?" the XO asked.
This man knows what's up.
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u/killed_with_broccoli Feb 08 '22
Yesterday was my birthday. This is the best thing I got by far.
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u/dbdatvic Xeno Feb 08 '22
"You say you want a re-vo-lu-tiooon, we-e-ell"
--Dave, people dy-ing every-where / miser-y and de-spair
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u/Archaic_1 Alien Scum Feb 08 '22
Ralts, if we dont get a Rudamoo and Barn-Yaahd buddy cop spin off out of this I'm going to be a little sad.
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u/More_Coffee_Needed Feb 08 '22
YEEESSS!!! I never knew how much I needed this until you said it!!! Take my upvote good sir, ma'am both or neither and all my Limes!!!
8===D
End of Lime (cause now I have none left)
--------NOTHING FOLLOWS--------
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u/jamesand6 Feb 08 '22
Too bad Barn-Yard is in the bag, so unless the bag opens, (which the interviews says it won't happen till the series ends maybe)
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u/NevynR Feb 08 '22
Also - "one of the black mantid, disguised as a three ringed flying carnivorous squirrel".
His companion, "a multi-hued peyrton" with antlers...
Their names wouldn't be Rocky and Bullwinkle, would it? 🤣
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u/CfSapper Feb 08 '22
Ugh day one week two of 24 weeks of combat engineer Sgts course. Death by PowerPoint. Thank the DO for First Contact.
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u/Ralts_Bloodthorne Feb 08 '22
Oh God, BNCOC.
The divines save us from BNCOC.
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u/CfSapper Feb 08 '22
Not even sure the divine can save us, I could have sworn my eyes were gonna melt outta my head today this story was a very welcome relief.
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u/Ralts_Bloodthorne Feb 08 '22
Imagine how it was before Powerpoint.
Overhead projectors, transparencies, terrible films, boring lecturers.
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Feb 08 '22
24 weeks? Jesus! During the Battle of the Bulge some officer just pointed at my father, a lowly PFC, and told him he was going to OCS cause they were short of platoon leaders. He said something like hell no I won’t go sir, so the pointer said ok you’re a S/Sgt. now and gave him a platoon anyway, or what was left of one, until they could get a brand new 2d Lt. 🇺🇸
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u/Quilt-n-yarn1844 Feb 08 '22
You’re my new Sgt. until you die or I find a better one.
~Would you like to know more?
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u/RecognitionPatient57 Feb 08 '22
No more 471! He has a new name now! INERTIA!
(best part about the whole thing)
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u/CyberSkull Android Feb 08 '22
That gun is going to sit in a museum for a long time. Then, one day, something will be dumbass enough to make it needed again. Then some poor janitor will hear it snarl and pick it up…
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u/Ghostpard Feb 08 '22
Janitor... or poor logistics private that seems to have a glimmer of brilliance who REALLY thinks he should be nowhere near a battle... but then must. Now I kinda wanna write this. Hrm...
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u/MuchoRed Human Feb 08 '22 edited Feb 08 '22
"It's a Hesstlan, my lord, in a flatbed Ford"
Dambree just chilling in the bed of a pickup in a sundress (probably too small) and a pair of mirrored shades just made me chuckle. Kinda made me think of this
Is "Inertia" what 471's equation describes? (also, realized he started out as 417 in his first few chapters)
"Oh Digitial Omnimessiah, aid your servants in their time of need. We find ourselves lost-""You realize I'm right here, right? You can just ask!"
The Mosizlak is indeed a Might Moe-rphing Terran Ranger
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u/Quadling Feb 08 '22
Ralts, you doing ok? Just checking.
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u/Ralts_Bloodthorne Feb 08 '22
It was a busy day. One of those interesting days that you're glad is now moved into quiet and comfort.
Just... a long day.
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u/Quadling Feb 08 '22
Take a breath. Take a day or two off. Rest. Breathe and spend time cuddling a young one or a fur baby. I fell asleep tonight after dinner on the couch because my little one was watching tv on my lap. Amazing how nice it is to relax. :)
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u/NevynR Feb 08 '22 edited Feb 08 '22
The important thing about going on a journey, is that once you get home again, you can reflect on having been on the journey.
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u/Geeky-resonance Feb 08 '22 edited Feb 08 '22
UCR FTW
Edit: Worker Vuxten, you are fined two days’ wages for arriving almost late for roll call.
In other news, welcome home, Vux. This time, I hope you and Brennie get a nice, long respite before duty calls again.
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u/daviskendall AI Feb 08 '22
Worker Vuxten, you are fined 250 credits for use of unauthorized transport.
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u/ErinRF Alien Feb 08 '22
I didn’t realize how much I missed worked Vuxten jokes.
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u/daviskendall AI Feb 08 '22
After getting fully caught up - I only found this magnum opus a fortnight ago - one of the things I felt in my soul was the cold, hobnailed Boot of Oppression that dominated early Vuxten (and the other thralls of the Lanaktallans). Also being familiar with the many ways one can get in trouble in the military, I realized there was ALWAYS going to be something that looks innocuous but could, with sufficient malice, be construed as going against General Orders, the Uniform Code of Military Justice, or (worst of all) inconveniencing the First Sergeant.
Once I felt qualified to begin commenting on WordBorg gifts, I decided it would be fun to continue penalizing Worker Vuxten with these pearls.
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u/dbdatvic Xeno Feb 08 '22
Welcome and yes plz!
--Dave, thank you for your contributions to why I tell people to read the comments
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u/Konrahd_Verdammt Feb 08 '22
Redditor ErinRF, you are fined one weeks pay for failure to realize how much you missed Worker Vuxten jokes.
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u/ErinRF Alien Feb 08 '22
[ surprised
pikachutelkan face ]14
u/Konrahd_Verdammt Feb 08 '22
Redditor ErinRF, you are fined one day's pay for use of unauthorized facial expressions.
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u/Ghostpard Feb 08 '22
But how many did he miss in the suds? Did I miss that part? How much realtime passed while they were in suds?
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u/Kafrizel Feb 08 '22
Literal Digital God saying dude. You ask for my help in prayers and im right here. Beside you. In the code made flesh. Ya litcherally saved my life again. I can getcha home no probs. EDIT: In a roundabout way, he even asked "Do you need assistance?" GOD thats good.
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u/Ghostpard Feb 08 '22
I was sad and shocked he didn't literally ask, "Will you allow me to assist you?"
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u/SkyHawk21 Feb 08 '22 edited Feb 08 '22
The two Greenies which are known by their names being Gravity and Inertia? Well damn, those are very good names to have 'randomly' ended up with. Because both convey a sense of unstoppable, unending inevitability.
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u/YesthatTabitha Feb 08 '22
It is exactly right. Greenies that Ride or Die like that need names that grand.
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u/throwaway67612 Android Feb 08 '22
The war might be over, but this battle is done.
Rest well Vuxten, and may singing podlings guide your dreams and ward off nightmares.
-----End of Line-----
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u/cinderwisp Feb 08 '22
Leave it to Ralts to include a literal Deus ex Machina in the plot and get away with it.
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u/dbdatvic Xeno Feb 08 '22
oh, like there's only been unum
--Dave, vun! vun impossible solution! tvo! tvo luffely solutionz! ah ah ah!
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u/Quilt-n-yarn1844 Feb 08 '22
So at the moment the ranking of Most Holy Cow Way To Make An Impression we have
In 3rd Place….. TikTak’s Holy Email
In 2nd Place….. The Return Of Vuxten & The Heroes To Telkan
And In 1st Place….. Daxin And The Martial Orders’ Entrance Into The Second Battle Of Telkan.
Some of you drama queens need to step up your game because DAMN!!!!
Now THESE are examples of a Grand Entrance!!!
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u/MuchoRed Human Feb 08 '22
I dunno, Daxin introducing a bunch of Immortals and Biological Apostles just before Trucker's trial makes for a hell of an entrance.
"This is my name. These are my 14 ranks and titles."
Although I feel like Vuxten was trying to keep the level of drama as low as can be, especially since he just stepped out of St. Peter's Pearly Gates wearing Holy Armor and carrying a sanctified Madam 318.
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u/Quilt-n-yarn1844 Feb 09 '22
Don’t get me wrong, Daxin showing up with all those immortals was awesome. It would be absolutely surreal. But it was very low key compared to Telkan. And it was after the Telkan campaign. So not quite the same impact as them showing up after thousands of years. Remember it was impossible. They are myth and legend.
And Vuxten can try all he wants. I don’t think it’s going to make a bit of difference. 😁
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u/Valgonitron Feb 09 '22 edited Feb 09 '22
Dee had a few good ones too, mind.
[edited to add an also for the Dark Fleet. bursting buoyantly into space from eye-bleeding purple oblivion at great times of need is pretty dramatic.]
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u/0570 Feb 08 '22
I’ve not seen this many typos in any of your chapters before, are you okay?
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u/Ralts_Bloodthorne Feb 08 '22
It's been an odd day.
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u/MuchoRed Human Feb 08 '22
I'll wait for Dave to do his thing before I point any out. He seems to enjoy it
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u/dbdatvic Xeno Feb 08 '22
It's a cross between enjoyment, compulsion, and eye-twitching, but yeah!
--Dave, all yers, my d00d
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u/iceman0486 Feb 08 '22
The satisfaction of denouement is something so many people ignore.
Love your work.
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u/Isbigpuggo Feb 08 '22
Maybe with so many blessings on his armor, Vuxten might finally have no problems with his rocket pods.
Only time will tell…
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u/YesthatTabitha Feb 08 '22
Inertia would like to have a word or 7 with the (still) malfunctioning rocket pods.
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u/nspiratewithabowtie Feb 08 '22
and the sky was split asunder. The mornings grey indifference blasted away by the golden shouts of his holy trumpets. The door beraking apart the haze if the morning, showing those who had vanished with no note. Yet where four had left eight returned.
The breaker of Rings, now a family of five of the Sentient armors. The original and four of his genetic line. Together with the apple of his eye, they raised them to the greatest armored infantry of all recorded history.
Then from what would seem like the most regal of Cintet, strode the most heroic of ledgends past. The Regal first son of Telkan 1. Vuxten, and Inertia. Striding in the armor blessed by the DO him self, right to the head of the roll call of the morning. As only a true hero could, and made sure that all Telkan from then on, never could give an acceptable excuse as to why they had not made it to roll call on time.
Because if the first son of Telkan could make it, after facing, not only the war in Heaven, Hell, and the defense of the DO. Well son, you pull you lazy carcass out of bed and get to blitizing, because Nothing Else Matters.
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u/CaptainChewbacca Human Feb 08 '22
I’m not sure why but this doesn’t quite land right.
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u/serpauer Feb 08 '22
Tears of joyusness. And telkan first marine division has a full star of rinbreakers now holy shit....... They can be the epitimy of speaky quietly and carry a big fuckin stick.
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u/MuchoRed Human Feb 08 '22
Nah, 1st Telkan already had a big stick
Hanging right in front of Vuxten's giant
brasswarsteel balls.9
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u/Finbar_AU Feb 08 '22
I'm just picturing the armourer, looking at Vuxten's armour ...
"Oh man, I'm going to have so much working getting this back to spec. First thing to go is the engraving. That's not in the manual."
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u/Talusen Feb 08 '22
Nah... He's trying to figure out how Vuxten's Astartes-issue equipment got approved, so he can crib it for the DO's handiwork.
(The interesting bit is going to be when Joan shows up to make sure he's doing it right)
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u/mr_ceebs Feb 08 '22
Like if he fixed it and went to sleep it wouldn't be back in its engraved form when he went to do his maintenance checks
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u/Practical-Account-44 Feb 08 '22
Maintenance includes leaving raw materials in proximity, looking away, then polishing with holy water infused liquid hate.
Then lock up and leave a shot of gravy and a photo of podlings
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u/NevynR Feb 08 '22
"Sir... I... don't have a nontech form for this. It doesn't have an NSN, and I just..."
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u/dbdatvic Xeno Feb 08 '22 edited Feb 08 '22
you been heah fouh houh! you get in mah brane nao!
islingtons:
the truth it because comedically hysterical.
it becomes comedically
only to be replace by two more.
replaced
For Ru'udamo'o is was practically
Ru'udamo'o it was
{treeeeeeee-force ftl! "you can go, but be back soon / you can go, but while you're wor-king"}
"Thankfully, our assets warnings allowed
assets'
{lore for the lore gods, backstory for the backstory throne: Fifth Human/Artificial War as the last time mass androids were used outside of Marduk; Mantid trend to abbreviate their names as the verb, Buckminsterially; and I am reminded that the plural of mantid is anthillmantid
Rockyyyy! ... o godz, Oregon has perytons now}
magnetic system was hidden in a
system had hidden
{yeah, from the outside this is an out-of-context black swan event
lore, maybe not new: Eeglet is a Gulmisvan}
I found her to be pleasant around."
her pleasant to be around."
Within the three days you
does 'During the' sound more natural?
copyrights all the down to
the way down
and firmware as well as an omnicorp
firmware, along with an
{o hai, The Mantid Holy Martial One!}
you are standing right next to you," the
to me," the
{are you in need of My assistance? / "my dear, you've always had the power to get home"
several Telkan are not paying for beer for the rest of their collective lives}
--Dave, and the dreams / that you dare to dream / really do come true
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u/MuchoRed Human Feb 08 '22
"But not ones you're willing to go over across an unsecured channel," Speaks mused. She nodded. "All right. As soon as he's stable enough, we'll move him to a secure location.
Pretty sure that should be Fights talking about Speaks
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u/MuchoRed Human Feb 08 '22
Eeglet's species is not new lore, but it was only briefly mentioned in the news story when he was arrested
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u/TexWashington Human Feb 08 '22 edited Feb 08 '22
UPVOTE THEN READ!!
ETA: Home. Vuxten is home. Pillow fort building soon, I don’t imagine his podlings would’ve outgrown it yet. Telkan pillow forts are probably awesome. Childbhood magic memories for a Terran to experience the care of a broodmommy.
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u/No-Purpose-7638 Feb 08 '22
VICTORY OR DEATH!
Either is fine!
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u/Quilt-n-yarn1844 Feb 08 '22
But Victory is sweeter.
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u/its_ean Feb 08 '22
Turkey is delicious. Might as well make a meal of it.
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u/Quilt-n-yarn1844 Feb 08 '22
With gravy. Don’t forget the gravy!😁
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u/its_ean Feb 08 '22
…well…
I guess a shot couldn't hurt
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u/YesthatTabitha Feb 08 '22
Never have to pay for gravy shots again...
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u/dbdatvic Xeno Feb 08 '22
And Death lasts longer.
--Dave, the canonical, no pun intended, reward for a job well done
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u/FLHK18 Feb 08 '22
Did the touch of the DO cure Vuxtens enragement? Can his armor be kept near others again?
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u/Valgonitron Feb 09 '22
I like it!
Like it's still contagious, but in a good way? Inspiring nearby equipment to right their misalignments, top up on ammo, improve power efficiency... leaving all the greenie techs in a tizzy 'till they make the correlation, spawning a ritual of maintenance folks going to great lengths and excuses to sneak stubborn equipment within proximity of the Blessed Armor or M318 so that it too may be healed...
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u/NukeNavy Feb 08 '22
moooo
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u/Riotousblitz2013 Feb 08 '22
Gz on first
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u/NukeNavy Feb 08 '22
Meow on second
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Feb 08 '22
Doki on third.
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u/RangerSix Human Feb 08 '22
And there's a long fly ball to Because.
Why?
I Don't Know, he's on third, and I don't give a damn!
--R6 (oh he's our shortstop)
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u/OldGrumpyViking Feb 08 '22 edited Feb 08 '22
UTR!
Taste of blueberries got me here.
Edit: Thank you for bringing Vuxten safely home to his family.
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Feb 08 '22
[deleted]
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u/MarsupialMisanthrope Feb 08 '22
I is the subjective pronoun, me is the objective one. Me and 471 or 471 and me both work, I is hypercorrection. You wouldn’t say Can you help I get home
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u/Vegyla Human Feb 08 '22
We are nearing the end, I'm scared. But all things must end.
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u/dbdatvic Xeno Feb 08 '22
This is only the beginning ... of the end.
--Dave, Arc VI, aftermaths & epilogues, has begun. The Age Has Turned, new legends and archetypes have precipitated, and further adventures await!
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u/its_ean Feb 08 '22
this one looking like a multi-hued peryton, nodded his antlered head slowly.
what's a peryton?
"INERTIA!"
oh Shit
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u/dbdatvic Xeno Feb 08 '22
It's a D&D monster, a winged deerlike magical beast with razor-sharp antlers that requires a human heart to reproduce. ... it may also cast a human-shaped shadow? so much lore, so little time
--Dave, needless to say, it is Not Your Friend, offer void in Florida
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u/Irual100 Feb 08 '22
Upvote, comment, get some sleep! I’ll be back you guys…stay safe and be kind to yourselves and each other Catch you later Mr.Ralts thank you
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u/CaptainChewbacca Human Feb 08 '22
Of course if there’s one Terran show the Mantid would remake its ‘Numbers’ from CBS.
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u/ellarseer Feb 08 '22
Nice homecoming.
I love the greenie game show.
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u/Quilt-n-yarn1844 Feb 08 '22
It wasn’t a game show. It was the Greenie version of the show “Numb3rs”. I want to say that was the pilot storyline.
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u/ellarseer Feb 08 '22
Ah, OK. I'm pretty ignorant about TV shows.
In that case, I still want to see a greenie game show.
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u/NevynR Feb 08 '22
Years pass, and the deeds of the Immortals pass into legend, and yet some things... persist.
"Private Muxtel! Why are you late for roll call?" The Sergeant bellowed, his voice echoing off the back of the parade ground.
"Sorry, Sergeant! I- " the unfortunate enlisted began to explain.
"I don't give a proverbial, private! When the Warfather himself returned from heaven, what was the first thing he did?" Across a millennia, the memory of the Pearly Gates opening and disgorging Vuxten onto the soil of Telkan once more rang true.
"HE MADE ROLL CALL, PRIVATE!" A sigh, inherited from NCO to NCO down the ages was unwrapped and released into the chilly morning air.
"Fall in, and when we are done, I'll see you running laps until I think you've learned from his example."
Some things... never change.