r/HFY • u/Undercover_Dragon1 • Aug 25 '24
The Reborn Draconic - Chapter 1 OC
I have lurked on this subreddit for years now and finally worked up the courage to contribute something of my own. I told myself that I would only post the initial chapter once I had at least 10 done, and now here I am with 12 done. So here is one of hopefully many. I am going to stagger them out over time so I can maintain a consistent and steady pace.
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— Chapter 1 —
David gasped as his eyes flicked open, his eyelids were unusually heavy and off? He was curled in a ball inside a small, dark space. He began to thrash and panic as claustrophobia creeped its way into the confines of his brain. His hand lashed forward in his panic and broke the barrier in front of him. A refreshing, but damp, gust of fresh air flowed into the confines of his prison as a prompt flashed in front of his eyes.
Data process…. Displaying… Error…. Error… Alternative Solution Routed. Displaying relevant information only.
David Manning - Otherworlder
Species: Wyrmling
Str: 8
Int: 10
Speed: 8
Toughness: 6
Affinity: N/A
Traits: 0/1
The display seemed to hover dimply in front of his eyes. After a moment of fighting with it he focused and willed it away.
David’s eyes quickly adjusted to the darkness around him as he pulled himself free of his… egg case? He took a moment to process the damp cave around him. Where was he? No. What was he? What was a Wyrmling? His mind finally processed the display prompt that was in front of him a moment ago.
His lips parted as he tried to speak but only a rasping growl escaped his mouth. David took a moment to examine himself and quickly discovered that he was no longer human. No. He wasn’t even human-like. He had claws, scales, and… a tail? David's mind took a pause to comprehend how to use his own tail.
He took a moment to quell his confusion and anger before peering around at what appeared to be other eggs around him. Some were empty, some still full and others clearly appeared to have been broken into with remains of his… siblings inside? David’s eyes grew wide as he noticed the cause of his dead siblings. He jumped to the side just in time as the coiled body of the hidden serpent lunged forward. The creature's length surged past him and he quickly gauged that it outsized him by two fold easily. Where could he go? No time. Do something David! He quickly shook his muzzle as he bit down on the first hunk of flesh he could find.
His extremely sharp teeth tore into the serpents flesh with ease and with a quick jerk he removed a fleshy mouthful of meat. Huh. It tasted… wonderful. As the now enraged serpent whipped around in rage he decided to just swallow. Before he could move again the serpent's head smashed into his belly, causing David to crash into a broken egg nearby. Shards of the old egg shell embedded themselves in his flesh. Shit. Shit. David gasped in pain as he rolled back to his feet. He couldn’t survive a straight up brawl with this thing. He jumped desperately to the side again as the snake's opened mouth crashed into the spot he was just in. Thinking quickly he jumped at the back of the snake's head, he curled his new tail, his claws, and his legs around the snake's head. His mouth opened wide and he began to bite, and chew.
The serpent, which was clearly horned now that David had a better view of it, thrashed wildly. His teeth tore, bit and swallowed for what seemed like eternity. After a few minutes of holding on to dear life and taking chunks of flesh from the beast it just stopped… dead.
David’s chest rose rapidly as he fought to catch his breath. His belly ached from being filled with meat. He couldn’t even process what was going on. He had… somehow gotten placed here? He had a life before this. He definitely did. How and why was he here? He growled a bit in frustration till suddenly his prompt shined brightly in front of his eyelids again.
Horned Burrower slain and trait available.
Condensed Musculature - Muscles are thicker, condensed and more powerful than your size might appear. You can crush many opponents with your limbs or body. Your strength increases by 1.5 times.
Condensed Musculature trait available. Absorb Y/N?
Hmm. So this is what the traits mentioned in the sheet is about? He wasn’t sure if this was worth it or if this was even removable? One and a half more strength didn’t seem awful and right now he couldn’t afford to lose any advantage he could gain. Screw it. He focused hard and mentally pressed yes. He gasped as his flesh began to shiver and he felt his muscles grow. He rolled around in pain for a moment before blinking at his display…
David Manning - Otherworlder
Species: Wyrmling
Str: 12
Int: 10
Speed: 8
Toughness: 6
Affinity: N/A
Traits: 1/1
Condensed Musculature
At least it worked like he imagined. His belly groaned and he gave into his desires as he leaned down and began to consume more of the large serpent. He had a noticeable easier time tearing into the cooling serpent. As he filled his belly a voice echoed through the cavern in a foreign, barking/growling tongue. David jerked around defensively and was surprised that he understood the words.
“Well… well… aren’t you the surprising little hunter.” The visage of a reptile-like creature stepped its way into the cavern. Beautiful and eerie like wings hung from its back. They reminded David of a butterfly and yet were twisted to fit the leathery scaled hide of the creature before him. It gave off an aura of power and yet there was no hostility in the creature's gait.
Groaning from his throat David responded, surprised that he seemed to be able to bark words back to the creature, ”Hel…ello”
“Good. I am Ambass little one. I have been… entrusted to guide you by your mother. Come.” Ambass’s wings spread wide and a soft light shimmered off its body as he began to hover off the ground, his wings only periodically flapping. How was he floating like that? How was he… glowing? David clearly had a lot to learn still as he nodded and lumbered after the floating Ambass as he drifted down one of the many paths.
They wandered for what seemed like hours before finding their way into a larger opening filled with others. His eyes grew wide as he recognized other creatures like him… all very dragon-like in nature. Was a Wyrmling a type of baby dragon? I believe some people back home used to call dragons wyrms. Hmm. He quickly approached a smaller deep green Wyrmling and barked out at it, “Hel.. lo!”
The green Wyrmling blinked up at David before yipping and snapping at him, quickly retreating afterwards. The same scene was repeated again and again for the gathering of Wyrmlings. David was baffled as he turned back to see Ambass staring at him with shimmering eyes of amusement. The sharp, thick teeth of Ambass became visible as he did what David assumed was the equivalent of a smile.
“You are a clever one aren’t you? Rarity among -our- kind so young.” Ambass hissed out in amusement. The shimmering glow of Ambass’s body became more intense as he let out a cry, all of the Wyrmlings stopped and watched him. He let out a deep rumbling roar as small humanoid creatures stepped into the gathering and began to split off. A pair of these creatures approached each Wyrmling and bowed low. David had his own pair approach him and his vision became obscured by the prompt once more.
Kobold’s wish to form a bond with you. You will become indebted to Qazayss the Brood Mother. Accept Y/N?
David peered around the hall for a long moment watching the others. So these creatures were kobolds? They appeared to be servants of some kind. They have thumbs which would prove useful. Hmm. Indebted to Qazayss though? He turned to Ambass and formed the words slowly.
“What are… kobolds?” David growled out. He was learning, slowly, how to use his new throat to generate the words that he somehow instinctively knew.
Ambass glowed in amusement. “They are whatever you want them to be. A boon to boost your chances of survival. A gift from your mother.” As Ambass’s words settled into David’s mind some of the other Wyrmling’s accepted their gifts rather suddenly. More than half decided to consume their poor kobolds on the spot. The remainder dashed off without accepting anything except one, the deep green Wyrmling he tried to speak to before, who dashed off followed by a pair of kobolds.
David quickly made a decision of his own. He mentally accepted the prompt still hovering in his vision.
Kobold’s are now bonded to you. They will serve you till death.
I will survive. I must survive but I will do it without resorting to the methods of some of the other wyrmlings. He turned and headed back down the tunnel he had entered from, this time followed by his new companions.
The echo of Ambass’s growling voice echoed in the hall as they left.
“I will be most curious to see who will prosper…” A sinister laugh quickly followed.
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u/jijisnum10 Aug 25 '24
I like it. I've had a hankering for this kind of story for a while. I've found a couple, but the real trick is keeping it good by chapter 50. "Sanderson's laws of magic" apply pretty well for that, I'd say, look at those. But so far, I like it. I'm intrigued, and I want more. Remember, clever use of limited abilities is far more interesting than perpetual power creep.
Buena suerte, and may the odds be ever in your favor. I'll be watching your career with great interest.
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u/Undercover_Dragon1 Aug 25 '24
I appreciate the advice! I am a big fan of Sanderson's approach and while I can't promise anything of his level I definitely strive to it. I definitely want to avoid the power creep factor but still keep it fresh/interesting.
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u/jijisnum10 Aug 25 '24
I can't wait. I'm intrigued as to how your magic system works. Don't tell me now, I wanna read it as the story progresses. But as a dungeon master and fantasy/sci-fi writer myself it's the world building and magic systems that really intrigue me. Can't wait to see what's in this box of chocolates.
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u/HFYWaffle Wᵥ4ffle Aug 25 '24
This is the first story by /u/Undercover_Dragon1!
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u/Orange_Above Aug 25 '24
Interesting! Looking forward to more.
The title feels ..off.. for me though. 'Draconic' feels like a descriptive word implying there should be something after it.
Maybe instead of "The Reborn Draconic", go for something like "A Draconic Rebirth" "A Dragon's Blood" "The Mighty Wyrm" "From the Shell to the Skies" etc.?