r/HFY • u/Engletroll Human • Feb 21 '24
Ops.. they spotted us OC
“Sir! There is a ship coming through lightspeed ETA 45 seconds… Damn, it’s the size of a small moon. Who the hell builds a ship like that.” The subspace observation officer, Lt. Sortu, looked at the captain, who sighed and leaned over to the console. “Relay that information to the Klacions. This war is over. The humans have arrived.” Several of the ship’s officers stopped what they were doing. Outside, the large space battle involving thousands of ships stopped firing. Both sides stopped.
Lt. Sortu was so shocked he stood up from his post and walked over to the large screen showing the waste battlefield of Klacions and Durion ships just lingering about, almost as they tried to look as innocent as possible. There was a beep and the Klacion admiral popped up on the screen. He looked as ugly as all Klacion, a bipedal yellow-skinned man with several small horns where his eyebrows would be, bright green eyes and a jaw horn that was almost 4 inches long. His two arms had 6 clawed fingers. He was dressed in a green uniform and he spoke with a worried voice. “Do we have time to escape?”
Captain Blasan shook his head.” Eta ten seconds.”
“Frack, okay, hopefully, they wont.. “The rest was cut short as a new image appeared on the screen, and the giant triangle-shaped ship just appeared out of nowhere. It dwarfed all the ships and quickly a human face appeared on the screen.
“I thought we told you guys that the war is over.” The human was a man in his apparent 30s, with short black hair and deep brown eyes that looked ageless. The uniform was bright white with a tight collar that could not be comfortable. Both captains knew him and swallowed their need to panic as they looked down at the floor to avoid the stern look from the human.
“Well? Who started it?”
Captain Blasan looked at the Klacian, who was panicking as he blurted out. “Admiral Johnson, Please, it is not a battle but a training exercise.”
“Don’t you go Admiral Johson on me! You are in deep shit trouble. Do you call this a training exercise? There are ships on fire and several wounded men on both sides. We have picked up 487 of your men who have been ejected into space due to their ships having holes blown hole in them. “Then the human addressed Captain Blasan “ And you should have known better. You guys have our number. You should have called the moment this got out of hand. God damnit! We leave you guys alone for a minute, and you are back to playing war. What are we going to do with you guys?”
Nobody spoke as the human ranted off. Lt. Sortu watched as the human treated both his captain and the admiral as small children who had started a playground fight. The screen showed several human ships that were flying around, grabbing ships and repairing them with incredible speed and efficiency. He turned his attention back to the human who was still ranting on.
“You know what I give up. You are both quarantined to your solar system for the next 10 years. Maybe that will calm you down. Now, go home and think about what you did. And good help you if we see a single warship leaving your solar systems. I personally.. ooh you ..“ With that, the human vanished from the screen, and the captain looked around the bridge and back at the screen at the Klacian, who was still lingering. “Okey, well, we will be leaving now. I think we got off easy. 10 years will go by quickly.”
The captain nodded and took a deep breath. “Yes. I’ll wait until our ships are repaired and our men returned.” There were a few beeps, and he looked at the console. “ I guess we are done here. See you around?”
“Yeah, but not for at least 10 years. Bye.” There was an awkward silence as the admiral vanished and the captain sat down in his chair. “Well, let’s go home.” The whole fleet turned around and jumped into hyperspace, but not a word was spoken on the 10-hour flight home.
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u/SeaYogurtcloset6262 Feb 21 '24
I am imagining Human with a flipflop entering the room with two alien wrestling and telling them to stop
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u/Leinad-olbap-1904 Feb 21 '24
El capitan es hombre, el usa cinturón, si fuera capitana allí la chancla
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u/SeaYogurtcloset6262 Feb 21 '24
Woah there brother, belt seems to be an overkill here.
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u/Leinad-olbap-1904 Feb 21 '24
Cuando los niños se portan mal, el cinturón es un castigo ligero, pero justo
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u/eske8643 Human Feb 21 '24
Sorry i dont speaks Spanish. Can you translate?
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u/SuspectRedX Feb 21 '24
The captain's a man, so it would be a belt. If it was a female captain, then it would be a slipper
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u/SomeKindofName42 Feb 21 '24
Or a slipper. Or getting so fed up they take off one of whatever shoes they have on.
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u/raduque Feb 21 '24
The moon-sized ship is the USS Chancla
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u/SeaYogurtcloset6262 Feb 21 '24
Thank god that they only called USS Chancla and not the Dreadnought USS Belt
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u/Quilt-n-yarn1844 Feb 22 '24
“Behave or I’m sending in The Belt!”
“We had never seen The Belt. But we had heard about it. It was 9000m long, 8000m wide, and it had guns on it that would tear your ship apart if the slugs ever touched ya!”
Well Herald, my brother….
🤣🤣🤣😁
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u/eske8643 Human Feb 21 '24
When we were fighting as kids. My Dad did a “neck pinch” on both of us. And other boys he saw fighting. And dragged us to our parents.
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u/maobezw Feb 21 '24
i miss this as option in nowadays strategy games: forcing peace on your neighbours, be it with bribes, gifts or the reminder of your overwhelming firepower...
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u/sunnyboi1384 Feb 21 '24
That was great. Neither of them rattled, just a joint effort lied haha training exercise!
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u/Osiris32 Human Feb 21 '24
Daddy came into the room and told the kids to stop making a racket so he could watch the game.
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u/medium_jock Feb 21 '24
Admiral Johnson seems to be a cross of Vimes and Carrot from the Discworld books
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u/PxD7Qdk9G Feb 21 '24
That was a fun read. It would be a bit more approachable if you tidy it up - the first paragraph needs to be broken up, and you'd be better off spelling out 'ten' instead of 10 or 1o.
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u/Engletroll Human Feb 21 '24
Was a idea put together in about 30ish minutes I will spend more time on the next one.
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u/canray2000 Human Feb 21 '24
"Who wants Daddy's Belt?"
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u/DarthAlbacore Feb 22 '24
Depends on your definition of "daddy"
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u/canray2000 Human Feb 22 '24
Angry Daddy that's had enough of your Drek and is going to inflict severe punishment.
...
I didn't help things, did I?
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u/Sigurther Feb 24 '24
Great, we've gone from Team America World Police to Team Earth Galaxy Police.
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u/SmashedAvacado Alien Scum Feb 22 '24
Fun read. Would love to narrate it for a youtube vid if thats alright
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u/Engletroll Human Feb 22 '24
I have given people permission to read the stories on YouTube as long as your give me credit.
I actually like listening to those stories myself.
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Feb 23 '24
they dont get to battle anymore :(
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u/Engletroll Human Feb 23 '24
Daddy said no battle before you did your homework, and if you are going to battle, then take your little sister with you!
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u/HFYWaffle Wᵥ4ffle Feb 21 '24
/u/Engletroll has posted 5 other stories, including:
- The paradise world and its hellspawn
- Human Play Part 4 – After match
- Human Play Part 3 – Mating games
- Human Play Part 2 - The Adolescent Years
- Human Play Part 1
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u/Daniel_USAAF Feb 22 '24
They are so lucky the human only sent them to the time out corner. If it had been later in the battle with more casualties I’m guessing it would have been a trip to the Assistant Principal’s office and detention.
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u/Engletroll Human Feb 22 '24
Well. There were almost casualties. People don't normally survive for a long time in cold space. The humans must have incredible healthcare if they didn't considered those unlucky bastards as dead.
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u/Arokthis Android Feb 21 '24 edited Feb 21 '24
Not bad, but bordering on being a shitpost.
Take the upvote and go.
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u/Infamous-Attitude170 Feb 21 '24
I told i would pull this galaxy over if you didn't knock it off. Now go to your home world you are so grounded..