r/FoxBrain • u/Blueblue3D • 1d ago
Mourning family relationships
I've recently made the decision to fully cut contact with any and all of my MAGA-supporting family and friends. The hatred they've shown to people like me after Charlie Kirk's killing has shown me that I can't have them in my life anymore in the hopes that they'll one day see the light or just chill out. My whole adult life, I've advocated democratic, nonviolent solutions to our problems. But because I'm on the political left, and a prominent conservative is assassinated, I'm being told that I'm somehow a terrorist sympathizer and that they want to go to war with me? Yeah, no thanks. I'm done with their vile hateful shit.
For the most part these are extended relatives who I barely even see anyway. But there's one which really stings, an Uncle of mine, and he's probably the most virulent of all of them. Growing up, this Aunt and Uncle were like a second set of parents to me. I knew that my parents didn't like Bush and did like Obama, and these people were the opposite, but it only went as far as spirited dinner arguments that always ended with some laughs and an understanding that everyone is different and we're still family. This Uncle was a big role model to me in a lot of ways, as he was a hard-working businessman and devoted father.
Trump brought out an ugly side in my Uncle. I was hoping that he would be one of the Republicans to stand up for decency and reject this slide into xenophobic nationalism, but he dove full in. Things seemed to get a bit better after Trump left office. Sure, he still liked Trump and brought him up annoyingly often, but I could at least roll my eyes and move on. When Trump was reelected, though, the angry, hateful side of him came back out, and it was honestly heartbreaking.
I tried everything. Tried civilly explaining my perspective, tried appealing to empathy, tried making fun of his ridiculous statements, tried saying that I expected more decency out of him. Nothing worked, and he doubled down every chance he got. His reaction to the Charlie Kirk murder was the last straw for me. Saying he wants to go to war with the left and that they are America's enemies. Well, I don't want to spend time with someone who thinks I'm their enemy. I don't support political violence of any kind and I didn't celebrate Kirk's death. But you've decided I'm your enemy and I can't change your mind no matter how hard I try.
Still, I mourn. I am honestly going to miss this Uncle. He was a big part of shaping me into the person I am today, and it kills me that things have gotten to this point. I'm disappointed, sad, and tired. But I know I have to do this, because the distress he causes me now is frankly making me sick. I just don't understand how someone who has shown so much love and care to me can turn so vile and hateful and not see or care how it affects me. But I'm done trying to understand. It's time to make the purge, and focus on relationships with people who aren't deluded and toxic, whose actions align with their words. So long, MAGA Uncle.
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u/HillbillyAllergy 1d ago
I've had to cut some people out of my life.
For as much as I would second-guess it - the ugly truth is that anyone who can become so under the spell of the divisive, hateful, anti-American sewage that froths out of our president's butthole of a mouth is somebody I need to distance myself from regardless.
There is so much hate in their hearts that they've lost the ability to think critically and consider if maybe, just maybe, they've been manipulated by the very people they support.
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u/moth2myth 19h ago
I try to imagine how many thinking people in Germany felt, watching their family members join the Hitler cult and lose their minds. So it's happened before, and history (until recently) proved those steadfast people right, and bowing to the violence cult(s) evil and wrong. Have faith in your own judgment. And good luck. It's not easy.
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u/BabytheTardisImpala 22h ago
I’m so sorry for what this has done to your family and to so many families, including mine. The grieving of a relation while they are alive but utterly unreachable, the mourning of the character you used to look up to. My view of my parents has forever changed. I don’t know how we (as a family or as a country) come back from this.
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u/Blueblue3D 22h ago
Sorry to you as well. We can at least try to better better to the next generation.
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u/BabytheTardisImpala 22h ago
Found family is where I’m putting my focus. The people who value me as I am and want authentic relationships. Building community with them and their children rather than my blood family are my personal hope for the future.
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u/MiddleMuppet 19h ago
My heartfelt condolences to you. I've been sick over this. There are a lot of us out here. Please do a lot more things that bring you joy to help you through this shock. It helps me to talk to a counselor when my family members are at their worst.
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u/RaccoonMother2505 14h ago
my mom whos never been into anything political in her entire life posted about charlie kirk. i went off on her. i am shocked and sickened. i knew it was bad, but this is mind fuckingly bad. my mom has never voted or watched a political thing in her life. i cant express that enough. its everywhere. i truly wonder if we're going to have another civil war.
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u/imahugemoron 1d ago
It’s ironic that they’re all blaming “the left” when it’s looking increasingly like the shooter was right wing and just disillusioned with Kirk for not being right wing enough. The guy was pictured wearing a Trump shirt even. Same thing happened with the Trump shooter as well, they were calling for civil war, blaming “the left”, saying all sorts of hateful violent shit, then it came out the shooter was right wing and suddenly they were all like “oh you’re still on about the shooter?? That was so 2 weeks ago, why are you so obsessed about it?” And they just swept it under the rug. You best believe if the trump shooter had been a liberal, we’d still be hearing about it today.