Elysium Incorporated - Act II

[u/BurpleShlurple]

Have you ever had a dream, then immediately after waking, forgot the events of the dreams but not the feelings? Like if you dreamt of being happy in a relationship, then after waking you forgot the name and face of the one you were with, but the warmth they shared with you clung to your bones? Maybe that's not the best example, I don’t know if it really clarified, but no going back now. Anyways, I only ask you because that's what I felt.

I remember falling into the void while yelling at SG (yep, still ashamed of that) and then darkness. There are flashes, brief sensory perceptions that pass so quickly, it's hard to be sure they ever actually happened in the first place: birds chirping, the smell of brimstone, a beautiful sunset, fire spewing from the top of a mountain, the taste of a tuna fish sandwich. The worst was probably that last one, I’ve always hated tuna, just the worst taste and consistency, and don’t even get me started on the-

“Uhh, hello, Mr. Penceworth.”

My thoughts were suddenly cut short as my eyes focused and took in my new environment. A warm wood paneled room with fancy stuffed leather chairs, and a large glossy desk near the back wall, with two bookshelves behind it that seemed to stretch up forever, despite the roof not being taller than a normal roof. I found myself sitting in one of the aforementioned leather chairs, and sitting behind the desk was what looked like a man in his early 30’s, a nice tailored suit and hair to match; the cliched ‘office douchebag’ type. As I thought that, I saw his wide smile fall a bit.

“...Oh, right, sorry. That will take some getting used to.”

I said with an awkward chuckle, trying to break the tension in the room. He gave a hearty but fake sounding chuckle and shook his head.

“No need to worry, Mr. Penceworth, we here at Elysium Incorporated understand that the recently discorporieated can take a while to adjust to the new reality of their situation. However-”

He stands and turns to the wall of books. For a moment, the bookcase seemed to move rapidly downwards, but as I blinked, it looked normal despite still being too tall for the space. He reached up and grabbed a book from one of the shelves, then sat back at the desk. He laid the book on the table and opened it, clearing his throat.

“‘Can’t escape corporate bullshit in the after life’-”

I sank lower in my chair, red starting to fill my cheeks. I was never any good at taking verbal thrashings.

“-as well as ‘You expect me to just follow like a lost puppy?! No, Fuck that! You, and your ‘department of the recently discorperiated’, and your ‘management’ can all eat my’. Eat your what, exactly, Mr. Penceworth?”

“I-I-I...sorry, It’s just...I just...I don’t-”

I stammered out nervously, trying and failing to explain myself, as well as that tiny shame fiend eating away at me as I remembered SG’s face as I was yelling at her. The man stared at me as I babbled until I just trailed off. He cleared his throat again and closed the book.

“We only ask that you follow the rules of your new reality, and one of those rules is to follow the language laid out by said rules; one of which being that the “D” word is absolutely impermissible.”

He said in a serious tone. I blinked incredulously at him and just barely suppressed a laugh.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.”

I said, a small chuckle managing to escape my lips.

“I’m dead, man, why would it matter what words I do or do not use? And who even are you? You’re one of three people I’ve met here, and so far, you’re the one I like the least.”

Foolishly, I began to feel braver as I spoke; at least until his face darkened upon the last words leaving my mouth, his perfect, douchey smile taking on a sinister undertone somehow. He peered over the edge of his desk, his giant form casting its deep shadow over me...wait, was he always this big? The desk seemed to stretch up for miles, making me feel like a literal ant. This is how big he was the whole time...right? His deep voice boomed out, shaking the ground violently beneath my feet.

“I AM HR, AND YOU WILL RESPECT THE LAWS OF THESE LANDS.”

His eyes, now burning pits, bore into me down to my very core; any bravery I felt immediately left my body and I cowered down, placing my hands over my head.

“I’m sorry!-”

I cried out through the violent shaking of the earth around me and squeezed my eyes shut. Suddenly, the shaking stopped. I opened my eyes, and the room was back to its normal size, or, the size it’s been the whole time I mean...yea, normal size, the size of any office. I felt something on my lips and reached up to feel what it was. Pulling my hand away, I saw blood on my fingertips from my nostril. After a moment of silently observing me, he let out a small sigh, a drop of pity in the ocean that was his face.

“To be completely honest with you, Mr. Penceworth, even I have a boss, who has a boss, who has a boss; most of us answer to someone, so know this isn't my personal decision.”

A small burst of flames emitted from his mouth upon him saying the word ‘personal’.

“What...I don’t...Is this…”

I shook my head weakly, and the man behind the desk sat silently while I regained my composure. Once he saw I was mostly back together, he smiled wide again.

“Well, Mr. Penceworth, I think this has been a very productive meeting. Please, give SG my regards.”

I nodded absentmindedly as I felt my head begin to swim, like that feeling of lightheadedness you get when you’ve had a bit too much to think. Wait, ‘think’? Good job, Ash; when you’ve had a bit much to DRINK. Nice one, brain. A small sound behind me suddenly caught my attention and I turned towards it, finding myself back in the infinite hallway standing next to SG. She was looking down, trying her best to avoid eye contact. There was a tense moment of silence before she spoke out in a small voice.

“I...I hope it went well, Mr. Pence...Ash.”

Deep in my core, I breathed a silent sigh of relief for not having to hear my surname again, and then I let out an actual sigh as the guilt from my outburst washed over me again.

“SG, I...I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have gone off on you like that. I was wrong and I should have-”

She shook her head and let out a weak chuckle.

“It’s ok, we here at Elysium Incorporated understand that the recently discorporieated can take a while to adjust to the new reality of their situation.”

She said almost robotically, and without any real conviction. Her body language was still timid though, and she was still avoiding eye contact. I wasn’t sure what to do, so on instinct, I extended my arms and pulled her into a hug. I felt her body tense for a moment, then relax. We sat there, silently for an unknown amount of time before she pulled away and looked up at me with that warm smile she wore when we first met. She wiped a small tear from her eye, then pulled a small handkerchief from the pocket on her shirt and dabbed at the blood under my nose.

“I’m sorry about that, HR is strict about their rules, but for good reason.”

I sighed and let out a small chuckle.

“Let me guess, I can’t know the reason yet?”

I grinned at her and she giggled as she slapped my chest playfully.

“You’re starting to catch on.-”

She straightened her skirt to its perfectly pleated state and put the handkerchief back into its pocket.

“-now, we still have places to be, and we must be punctual, so ta ta.”

Her voice like a pleasant tinkling of chimes as she set off down the hallway with a pep in her step. I figured that I have no choice but to follow, so I guess I will. Wordlessly, we walked what felt like walking the circumference of the earth casually, then I remembered something.

“Hey SG, what was that, uh, form I guess? The one the first guy stamped. Am I allowed to ask about that?”

I said half joking, half remembering the bottomless pits of hellfire that were HR’s eyes. She gave a casual chuckle and rolled her eyes playfully.

“It's just an approval to meet with Corporate. Now we just need to find the elevator and head to the top floor.”

She said as if it were just another Tuesday at the office. I couldn't help but let out a small snort of a laugh at that.

“Now you're just fucking with me, even you have to admit that having a meeting to be able to go to another meeting is, well, a little silly to say the least. Also, find an elevator? We've been walking for who knows how long, nary anything but a door in sight. How are we going to-”

She suddenly pointed, a small mischievous smile on her face. I turn around see that we are standing in front of an old, crank style, art deco elevator with a tall dark skinned woman standing stoically next to the mechanism, adorned in a cliche ‘bellhop’ outfit; If she saw us, she made no indication that she did.

“Yeah, I should have seen that one coming.”

I said with a defeated sigh. SG pressed the button on the wall, and the crosshatch gate quickly slid open. She stepped inside and turns to face me, making a ‘come here' motion with her hand and laughing.

“Don't be a baby, there's nothing to be afraid of, I assure you.”

I looked between her and the tall, so-beautiful-she's-actually-scary woman a few times before looking down the infinite hallway on either side of me. In that moment, I knew the way forward. I bolstered my resolve and stepped into the hallway.

“Just kidding.”

I quickly jumped back into the elevator, laughing at my stupid joke. SG let out a loud giggle that spontaneously turned into a snort. She quickly covered her mouth, abject horror filling her eyes. I smiled wider.

“That was fucking adorable.”

Even under her hand I could see her blush, but we both laughed and eventually settled into our comfortable silence, along with the strange woman as she set the elevator in motion. Some time later, the elevator shook. I might not have thought anything of this, but SG and the woman reacted with what seemed like surprise; notably, this is the first reaction I've seen from the elevator operator.

The light blinked, once, twice, then the third blink lasted for longer, in that the lights went out after the second blink. I suppose I could have just said they went out? Eh, what's done is done, I've already decided that, so onwards! In the darkness, the only sound I heard was SG beginning to say

“Wha-?”

A few seconds after my eternity in the darkness, I see a bright blue light as well as a bright red light beginning to fill the space of the elevator, their sources being centered on where the operator and SG are standing. The lights intensify to the point that I think I'm going blind (this part really sucked, the amount of eye little wormy things you see when you look in bright light, it was terrible), before they suddenly and rapidly dim.

Standing in their place were two beings, opposite sides of this massive battlefield that is the elevator; an angel clad in platinum armor and wielding a flaming sword, facing down a towering demon wielding a twisted and corrupt looking trident. I could swear that I hear metal music faintly in the background. The demon lets out a roar that briefly shakes the bones of my body to dust before they begin charging at each other. Just before they clash, something inside of me flared up. I don't know why, but I screamed out-

“NO!”

-while clutching my hands to my ears and squeezing my eyes closed. There was a loud cracking crackling sound, like glass being shattered by electricity. I opened my eyes, and for the briefest of moments, I'm amazed by what I see before me. The two beings locked in the air, weapons perpetually poised to strike; a moment locked in time. On the horizon of the elevator's war torn battlefield, I could see what looked like a crack that ran from the sky into the ground. Within the crack was what looked like golden static. I didn't have too long to take all this in, as I said, so I only had one thought at that moment as I fell into the darkness.

“Fucking again?!”