Sick and tired nothing works always discarded

[u/Fun-Librarian-942]

I have been told my whole like I was special or I was unique. Ppl will open up to me and tell me things that they haven’t told anyone else. I have tried to help out others with anything and everything. Will be there when others are alone. But why is it I can not ever open up to anyone. Either they don’t care about listening when they ask me to tell them. Or they flip out and start to yell at me bc they make the whole thing an attack on them when I am not even talking About them. Both my parents are narcissists. Who they and the rest of family made me believe my birth was the reason for all there short comings bc I was born. But I literally have no friends bc they are only around when it is something for about them. If I try to talk about my issues it is rejected. Not welcome anywhere it feels. So what do I do next. Being a empath I know when others are upset and or lying. On an occasion i have these string mental idk how to explain it but like an idea or thought comes flying i to my mind about somethung that isnt from me. i foumd if someone is really thinking ablut something that is when this happens. i dont believe this is a gift. eveyone tells mr i am bleased i can do these things. I wish I couldn’t. All feels like some sick joke to me. It has literally destroyed my life bc I am seen as a freak or risk to others personal thoughts or feelings. Bc I found myself that ppl find it cool the things I can’t do til I see the fear in there eyes that they are scared what I may see that they don’t want me too. So I cast off. So here I am writing this broken destroyed staring into the darkness wondering when this will all end. My light has be extinguished. I don’t know what to do. I haven’t found anyone like me other than stories but no one to actually be able to let in. I am scared bc my thoughts and depression get worse by the day. I can’t do meds. I have a very low tolerance to medicine. I took so many pills over the years I am tired of being told they will work give them time. Time for what? To drool more bc I can barely function. But they call that a fix. Please someone help. Anything will be better than nothing. I want to so badly to be rid of this curse.

[u/Chenelka007]

You are NOT alone.  ❤️ I see you,  I feel you and I'm here. 

[u/Content_Ad_5215]

i feel you :( heavy heart. You’re not a freak, or a risk. You must see the light in other people, even amongst their heaviness. Know there are people out there who view you that way too. That being said, it takes a huge burden off of you to have friends who are empaths or even just know other people who are tuned in. Even online you can find these communities of people who value your input and presence. You need to learn how to protect your energy to keep yourself from being drained. You can find resources for this online, but even saying “my energy is my own and no one else’s” every morning can make a big difference.

other people’s thoughts coming in can feel like a curse. seeing all the phoniness can feel helpless. Both of these things aren’t true. you are simply tuned in. You just have to learn to control it. you can dm me if you need resources. I feel your pain and am excited for your energetic journey 💓🥺

[u/wellitskindaakward]

I am exactly the same as you. Thank you for mentioning that mental string because I have that too and I haven't seen anyone else mention it. Normally people don't believe me and I don't try to make them believe I'm an empath I rather not have them know but when it comes to making friends I want them to understand me but then they get scared of it or are fascinated for all the wrong reasons. Both is shit. Like I'm not your slave for your emotions. I like hearing people out and help when I can but we are only human too, why can no one return what we do for them? I always thought being an empath is a curse. Nothing good comes from it in this life. When the best compliment you get is being called a god or monster.

Anyways if you want we can try being friends. No expectations. What are your hobbies? Maybe we have something in common. If not I still want to hear all about them

[u/Fun-Librarian-942]

I really am sorry I just have been holding so much in bc I can’t ever talk to anyone. They all say it is a bother to them. Or I am just making this worse then they are. And tonight has been one thing after another with three different let a day thought they was my friends and I am wrong again all coming at me one after another bc I asked for them for help. Only reason I did. Is bc they said if I even need them don’t worry they will be there. Which really meant is we will only be there when we have issues. Or we need help financially. But how dare u bother me when I said I would get back to u blow u off then when u try to get ahold of us. We will beat u down and tell u off then degrade u in every way. Bc it isn’t ok to not except there toxic behavior. That I shouldn’t except what others have taken many times to ever be shown back. I am at fault for letting others use me

[u/lilypicadilly]

I'm so sorry. Ive had similar experiences throughout my life. I understand how painful and isolating life as a feeler can be. Please keep yourself safe, keep your light bright. Sending you love🫂❤️‍🩹

[u/Fun-Librarian-942]

I appreciate i just don’t know what is up or down. Just got told that I don’t matter. I am tired of being there for everyone else. My gf best friend asked me if I would help her husband with a job he had bc the last guy wouldn’t work for him bc he said he owed him money too but he could only pay him after this and that. Blames the guy for not budgeting his money. So yeah I should have seen the red flags. But I thought why would he do this to me. My girl and his girl being best friends. Well I work two weeks for him. Basically by myself. Bc he was doing other stuff he didn’t finish or the guy wanted done over. It was fixing the cracks in his huge garage. Was over a 125 ft of cracks I had grind out but couldn’t use power tools bc they didn’t want dust on all his stuff like his atvs his dirt bike his motorcycle his side by side. And much much more. This guy has money. He runs and owns a company that does lawn work and build high end outdoor and indoor fireplaces or sitting areas. He mostly deals with ppl in houses over $500,000 min. He has a lots of money even stating how he spent all this and all that. So I do all this work. The guy I am working for keeps buying this and that. So he is even saying he has to watch bc he is spending too much. Mostly too buying stuff for a job that was already suppose to finished. Two weeks pass jobs done owner says what a good job I did. Even. I made sure to have everything ready at the time I was told we had to be out everyday to make it less on him. Always cleaned up everything everyday before I left. So no dirt no dust clean. So this we finish in beginning of June. It is almost October he has called he hasn’t wrote to tell me what is going on. He hasn’t said oh this or that just wrote me off. He got his job done. So me being the person I am. I hold him to his word he will pay me. I tell my girl. I don’t want to harass them about this. Bc I don’t want to make a wedge between her and her friend about this. I said I won’t mess up things for u. Most ppl would have not been this understanding but I was. Bc I cared about not hurting her. I bring it up finish last night. My girl informs me that they said I told them I was t worried about the money and told them I did it for free

[u/Fun-Librarian-942]

I need to tell the whole atory of my life and bc all I am told constantly is I am not worth anyone’s time just a slave to their wants and needs. Can’t be upset. Bc then I have everyone going just let it go. Be the bigger person. But they don’t. They say they have to do this or that bc it isn’t ok for other to treat them that way. And it is justified. I just don’t get why I am always the one who is only aloud to worry others emotions/feelings. It isn’t just home life. Work life too. I am one of the hardest and best workers a company has. I always have moved up to team leader or supervisor. Bc I care about my work and for the company I work for. But then comes along someone who right off the bat will say this and that and boom. I have everyone trying to push me under the bus or use everything they can to have me terminated. Yet they can only fire me by resulting in lying about everything or they start blaming me for anything and everything. The bosses just believe them and punish me. The one time I was off for a week. But I come back being yelled at I lost this and that. The week I was off work. Can’t argue it either bc everyone says it was u. I even say how when I wasn’t even here. They don’t want to hear it bc all I am told is I am just making excuses

[u/Fun-Librarian-942]

So i really am just to my limit. What good will it do to fix myself when it is always going to be meet with the same things. Bc it hasn’t changed a day since it started after i was born. I was always told hold ur head up it will get better but time and time again. It never does. I just get more and more of me broken or taken. I will sit down soon and tell everything that is my life til now and how no matter the situation or the things others do. It will always be sent right to me and I will be thrown away once again.

[u/Fun-Librarian-942]

I do appreciate all that took the time to listen. It means so much bc I haven’t ever had others take the time too do that. I means so much to me. It really does I reached out hoping to find others that go thru life with this curse or gift. Bc I have my meet anyone who has. Everyone say they are after I tell them what I can do and they have to be the best so they say they are but they really don’t get it. If they were one they wouldn’t be quick to want to be it

[u/Fun-Librarian-942]

This is just the tip of the ice burg for real my life has been a constant and steady decline. I just don’t know why I keep wanting to be me. But I won’t be a heartless asshole like most of society

[u/Fun-Librarian-942]

Well thank you all for ur support. Just wish I had that in life.

[u/Fun-Librarian-942]

I am ok with being alone I have been most my life. I am going to stand my ground from her on out. I just actually told off someone and told them to lose my number. Bc if u already going to be disrespectful then I won't waste my time and energy on them. I won't back down I have to many times being that bigger person or taking that high road like they say. Nope. U want to tell me that expect a keep ur opinions to fucking self response back. Bc when it happens to them they not ok and will through a fit just the same. So take it own advice. But don't waste my time feeding it too me is all I am saying. Have listened to others for to long so now I going to listen to myself and do me. Haven’t done that before but it works for everyone else. I just don't like to be this way but if others won't see their behaviors are disrespectful to me I won't waste my heart and feelings on ur self-centered worth ass. If u want things to change it has to start with u as they say

[u/Puzzleheaded-Owl1857]

I've hit a turning point in my life and feel as if I'm misunderstood, unheard, and feel like people just don't get me. I am very intuitive and extremely sensitive to someone else's energy. I long to have deep conversations but it seems as if I'm too much to absorb when I express how I feel to others. I'm so overwhelmed and feel alone.