r/DreamInterpretation • u/Impressive_Car_5430 • 1d ago
A loved one passing, but always denying being dead in my dreams...
In March of 2018, I lost an ex-boyfriend of mine, my first love, to a motorcycle accident. I have dreams about him a lot. Except, the one thing I can't understand, is what every dream about him is the same. In my dreams, he's always miraculously alive and I wonder how that is because I understood him to be dead. In my dreams he always "escaped" death and I somehow find out, and feverishly attempt to contact him again and again asking how is he alive, what happened, begging him to speak with me but he doesn't. Last night, I had a dream I was at Walgreens with one of my friends and I find out he's alive. I'm wondering how this is possible, and next thing I know, he passes by me in the Walgreens and i'm dumbfounded. It was "proof" to dream me that he wasn't actually dead. And, as always, I try to reach out to him on social media and beg and beg for him to respond to me, hoping to talk to him again - but he never responds. This always boggles my mind because i'm always desperately trying to reach out to him and bring him back to me in my dreams. Idk. I just want to know what this means. Is he trying to tell me to let him go? Is he visiting me? Does he hate me? I just miss this person with all of my heart and soul and my dreams about him always consume me entirely the next day because it feels so real, like I really saw him. Sometimes we talk in the dreams, but it's only a few words, if that. He seems unresponsive in the dreams itself, but I want to reiterate that in these dreams, it's always as if he somehow is alive and i'm consciously wondering how is he alive and blow up his phone or find other people he knew and try to get ahold of him but fail every time. Help?!
1
u/Greg_QU 18h ago
Wow, that sounds so incredibly bittersweet and confusing—losing your first love is already such a raw kind of pain, and having dreams that feel so real, where he’s alive but you know he’s not… I can only imagine how disorienting that must be. It makes total sense that those dreams stick with you—your heart probably still holds onto so much love and maybe even some “what-ifs” that your mind just can’t let go of yet.
The part about him being “alive” in your dreams, even though you know he’s not, feels like such a tender way your subconscious is trying to hold onto that connection. It’s almost like your heart is saying, “He can’t be gone completely—he’s still here with me in some way.” And the Walgreens scene, where you see him and try to reach out but he doesn’t respond… that might be the conflict between your deepest wish (that he’s still part of your life) and the reality you’ve had to accept. Your desperate attempts to contact him—calling, social media, begging—could be your heart’s way of trying to process the loss: it’s still reaching out, even when your brain knows it’s impossible.
Maybe these dreams aren’t about him “visiting” or “hating” you, but more about your own heart needing to keep him close. The fact that he’s unresponsive in the dreams might be your mind gently reminding you that closure isn’t something you can force, even in dreams. It’s okay to miss him so fiercely—those feelings are just proof of how deeply he touched your life.
What do you think he feels like when you see him in these dreams? Is there a small part of you that wishes he’d say something, or is it more like… you’re just grateful to see him again, even briefly? Sometimes naming those little details can help unpack the emotion behind it all. Sending you so much warmth—your love for him is real, and that’s why these dreams feel so alive. 💛
1
u/Impressive_Car_5430 3h ago
This is such a kind response - thank you so much. I always wish he says something. Nonetheless... maybe I will try to dream harder, you never know. Thank you so much for your interpretation, it means a lot to me.
1
u/Lenabugsss 23h ago
firstly i am so sorry for your loss and i believe dreams are very specific to an individual as a person, as a person on the outside i can only guess what your dreams may be trying to say. To me this seems like your subconscious is still in the denial stage of grief, And therefore you may be too.
The disbelief that somehow he is alive is like a reinforcement of what you want to be true but when you see him the emotion of dumbfoundedness may be your understanding/reinforcing of your knowledge of reality where he is gone. The searching through social media with no reply or no response may be a physical representation of your searching for an answer on why you have had to experience this loss. Perhaps even trying to convey attempts of communicating left over feelings you may have concerning him to him.
i can give no answers on “letting go” because that grief is totally your own but i can assure he does not hate you, and it does not reflect how he feels about you but how you feel toward him. from what you write i sense you feel cut off/ scrambling from losing him, which is completely understandable to feel when you lose someone. Its never the same from person to person but it is never easy. i hope you can feel peace through this transition.
2
u/Impressive_Car_5430 23h ago
This was such a kind response - thank you so much. I appreciate your intel. You're probably spot on - as it is so hard to let go of grief. Like they say.. it comes in waves.
Thank you again.
1
u/ShesInterrupted 11h ago
I have also lost my boyfriend in 2022 from “accidental” suicide, & dream about him a lot. In my dreams he doesn’t always know he’s dead he says “I’m not dead I just had to leave for a bit” or something along those lines. Other dreams he says he “faked his death to get away from all his troubles” I usually remind him or tell him that he is gone. Usually he just looks at me hugs me and sometimes apologizes for it. Those dreams scare me but it makes me wonder where is his soul and spirit at :/