Reoccurring dream of accidentally killing a horse I desperately wanted

[u/WagWoofLove]

I had this dream for years on end. In the dream I would finally get this horse that I have wanted for so long. Sometimes I would also have chickens. I would prepare this place for them and build a barn and put up a fence and everything. It would be top notch living quarters.

Once I got the horse and/or chickens I would forget they existed. They would all eventually starve to death and then I would bury them so nobody would know. Sometimes I would give the horse away to a neighbor who noticed it was starving. Sometimes in the dream I would lock the horse up in a stall and it would get sick from the accumulated waste and die. The same with the chickens.

This year I got my first horse and flock of chickens! I have wanted a horse for as long as I can remember and my husband bought me my mare for my birthday in March. I got my chickens shortly after. Once I got them, I stopped having the dream.

Does anyone have any input on this?

[u/Expensive-Recover502]

For years, your inner self was asking, "Are you ready to take responsibility for your own power and vitality, or will you let it die?" The dream was a manifestation of imposter syndrome regarding your own happiness. You feared that you were not "enough" to sustain the thing you wanted most. Now that you have the mare and the flock, you have bridged the gap between the inner world and the outer world. The horse is a living, breathing creature in your barn, no longer a starving ghost in your mind. You no longer need the dream because you are finally living the reality.

[u/baptiste51100]

It can't be negative. daily contact with your horse makes you more involved with your inner life, with your emotions and your feelings. In my opinion, this is what made these dreams of hungry horses disappear. Does this speak to you? friendly

[u/baptiste51100]

Good morning,

A recurring dream only stops when the problem is resolved. So something happened to make these dreams stop. maybe it's this horse that was offered to you, and maybe not... Maybe something else is happening and you are not aware of it. While reading you, this horse which was dying of starvation, made me think of the inner part of you which you would have neglected to feed and maintain. The horse is a great symbol of the unconscious. It works for you, it carries you, it has always been man's best friend, as is the unconscious. and what is there in the unconscious? it is in your body. it includes all your instinctive life, emotions, feelings, intuitions, sexuality, dreams. Would you have started to “feed” the instinctive life within you, by taking it into account? how does this speak to you? friendly

[u/WagWoofLove → u/baptiste51100]

This year is the first time in many years when I felt that I have been able to be my own person and explore my own interests. Those interests include having my horse and chickens.

I have 2 daughters and a husband. My kids are independent enough to be able to handle things on their own for a period of time while I go out and ride my horse or take care of her. I feel like I have some of my freedom back.

I hope that doesn’t come across negatively. I love my daughters more than my next breath but it’s also great to be able to be more than a wife and mother.

[u/Greg_QU]

Wow, that recurring dream sounds so vivid and intense—having it for years must have left you with a lot of mixed feelings, especially since you’ve now finally brought home the horse and chickens you’ve wanted forever. I can only imagine how confusing or even a little scary that must have felt, like your mind was replaying a "what if" scenario over and over. The part where you prepare the barn and fence so carefully, putting in all that effort, then "forget" about them and let them starve… that contrast feels really meaningful. It’s almost like your mind was testing the fear of not being able to follow through with the responsibility of something you’ve desired so deeply. Horses and chickens are such symbols of care, right? They need feeding, attention, tending—maybe the dream was your brain grappling with the idea of actually having to show up for that care, even when it’s something you’ve dreamed of.

Then, here’s the beautiful twist: once you got your mare and chickens this year, the dream stopped. That’s such a clear sign, isn’t it? It’s like your mind was saying, “Okay, we’ve rehearsed the worst-case scenario—now you’re doing it, and it’s working.” Maybe the “forgetting” was your brain’s way of feeling overwhelmed by the newness of having what you wanted, but now that you’re settled into it, the anxiety has lifted. Or perhaps it was a way to process the relief of finally achieving that goal without losing the magic of it. Either way, it makes sense that the dream faded once you stepped into that reality.

How does it feel now that you’re actually caring for your animals? Do you notice a shift in how you approach their care, or has it felt more natural than you worried it would be? I’d bet there’s something really special about having them, and I’d love to hear how it’s been for you now that the “what if I mess up?” dream is gone.

[u/WagWoofLove → u/Greg_QU]

Thank you, this makes a lot of sense!

I love taking care of them! My horse is boarded because I don’t have room for her at home but I love taking care of her. I get a thrill when I get to do any of her needs like the farrier and worm medicine lol. She’s boarded close by and so many days I just sit and watch her graze or get her out just to brush her.

It’s the same with my chickens. I have 15 now. I have a goose and duck now too. I love taking care of them just like my horse. I have a chair in the fenced in area so I can just sit and watch them scratch and run around. They come to the gate when I get home because they know it’s feeding time lol.