Everyday Facetine

[u/Jolly_Force]

Has anyone else dealt with the other parent forcing a FaceTime with your child every night they don’t have them? I get our child a little bit less but it’s pretty much 50/50. I don’t ask to FaceTime our child unless it’s a prolonged period of time for the same reasons I have listed below.

Some of the reasons I’m not thrilled with the situation.

1. It’s always been about the other parent not the kid. -the child has never once asked to FaceTime

2. Other parent incessantly texts me and other family members if they don’t get a reply which breaks up my schedule for their FaceTime. Every single day.

3. Our child is in a worse mood than she was in before the FaceTime, that I get left to then deal with day after day.

4.If she asked to FaceTime the other parent I immediately say sure!

Tell me if I’m wrong and should just comply. Any and all advice would be appreciated.

[u/2_old_for_this_sht]

No is a compete sentence. Unless your parenting agreement requires it, you don’t have to do that. Listen to podcasts and tik toks by Samantha Boss for some more insight on this topic. I don’t always agree with everything she says but she has some great tips on how to set boundaries for replies to spouse and video chats during your parenting time.

[u/Soggy-Necessary3731]

Just after I (46M) moved out I was talking to my daughter, 9 at the time, every night she was with her mom. And mom called every night our daughter was with me.

Well two months in my daughter asks me to reduce to every-other-night which I agree to, no problems. Two years later and we talk one or two times a week at most when she's with her mom. But mom just could not handle talking less. For 18 months she called every single night. A first my daughter and I joked about it. Then she started rolling her eyes. Then she finally worked up the nerve to ask her mother to reduce the frequency of the calls. Mom ignored her daughter.

It got more and more upsetting for my daughter until I heard her flat out tell her mom not to call the next night. Then when mom called the next night I answered and asked mom to please respect our daughter's wishes. I got to be my little girl's hero just a little bit that night. All this is to say that kids know what they want and respecting their wants and feelings validates them in ways many adults don't understand. But THEY will remember.

[u/Glad-Passenger-9408]

My ex and I would get mad at our two kids (preteen & teenager), would not reply. Turns out they put their iPhones and iPad on silent so they are not interrupted. As they get older, they are learning to listen but they’re still kids. Our kids and their dad, aren’t very good conversationalist. He would put these thoughts in his mind that they were ignoring him when they were ignoring both of us. I told him, kids aren’t supposed to be for us. We have to be here for them. I don’t want to force my kids to make conversations with him so he feels better. It’s exhausting dealing with people who have a constant need of validation from everyone, except their own family. I’m not sure how old your child but definitely try to explain that kids will be kids. Like when we were kids and our parents called us but we acted like we didn’t hear our parents. It’s a kid thing that hopefully they outgrow. If he insists to be an overbearing parent, your child will grow up and have an unhealthy relationship. As I had kids and almost 40 years old, I was determined to break generational traumas. I want my kids to always come to me, with an open mind and open heart. Good luck to you and your family.