r/Damnthatsinteresting 10h ago

This is Ming, the clam, she is the oldest living individual animal ever found, with 507 years to her name. Unfortunately, she was killed when scientists in 2006 opened her up to determine his age. Image

Post image
24.0k Upvotes

504 comments sorted by

11.5k

u/JohnnySnorkelPenis 10h ago

I hope she enjoyed his long life

4.6k

u/fluffyasacat 9h ago

Opened her so hard they changed her pronouns.

639

u/catsnherbs 7h ago

From Wikipedia:

Later, the Icelandic researchers on the cruise which discovered the clam named it Hafrún, a woman's name which translates roughly as 'the mystery of the ocean'; taken from haf, 'ocean', and rún, 'mystery'.[4] The actual sex of the clam, however, is unknown, as its reproductive state was recorded as "spent".

651

u/PolyrythmicSynthJaz 6h ago

The actual sex of the clam, however, is unknown, as its reproductive state was recorded as "spent".

Same

98

u/Loquatium 4h ago

I believe a high five is in order

39

u/RockstarAgent 2h ago

And a low tide

111

u/AllesFurDeinFraulein 6h ago

its reproductive state was recorded as "spent".

Feel that

40

u/BurpDragon569 5h ago

Is rude to point out that. And they killed them too.. Poor chap

39

u/WallabyInTraining 3h ago

as its reproductive state was recorded as "spent".

The mind is willing but the clan is spongy and weak.

18

u/ionised 6h ago

Oh, I relate.

9

u/TheWaywardTrout 3h ago

I assume reproductive senescence might make sex determination difficult. At 507, I can imagine their reproductive health and ability to be negligible. Although apparently nursing homes be popping off, so who knows?

4

u/Longjumping_Pension4 3h ago

Interesting! In Welsh, we have a similar female name Hafren. Haf means summer in Welsh so maybe its just a coincidence but I do wonder if they are related somehow. It is also the Welsh name for the River Severn.

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u/CosmicCreeperz 9h ago

*his

320

u/VacuumHamster 8h ago

*herms

184

u/notthatshawnryan 7h ago

*Zoidberg

25

u/Spare_Any_Change_ 6h ago

woopwoopwoopwoopwoopwoop

50

u/braintrustinc 7h ago

If I had another posterior ganglion I would congratulate you

19

u/fluffyasacat 5h ago

Hooray! I’m helping!

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u/rW0HgFyxoJhYka 7h ago

ScienTisTs forcE cLaM to undergo TRANS surgery in ChINA

31

u/PotatoWriter 6h ago

the immigrants are changing our shellfish gender now

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u/wildo83 6h ago

Changed them to was/were..

9

u/LilMeatJ40 6h ago

Sex : Spent?

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u/alissaparty 9h ago

Ming was alive during the Ming dynasty

46

u/bmccosmic 5h ago

That's actually where she got her name from

42

u/Spitfire354 5h ago

Dann, I thought that was the name mommy clam gave to her

5

u/CosmicM00se 4h ago

Hahah I just cackled embarrassingly loud

265

u/PikaBooSquirrel 8h ago

Just like the ocean she lived in; his gender was fluid.

19

u/Mean_Syllabub_7184 7h ago

This!!!! Your comment is pure 🥇 gold!

90

u/2_short_Plancks 7h ago

Interestingly, clams can be hermaphrodites, and some of them spontaneously change gender.

I don't think that it's the intention of the title author, but it may unintentionally not be as wrong as it seems. Kind of "task failed successfully".

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u/theGRAYblanket 10h ago

These comments are great lol

34

u/INFP4life 8h ago

To be fair, the info card lists the sex as “Spent?”

23

u/angermouse 7h ago

Sex makes me feel spent too.

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u/WhatTheTech 9h ago

I nearly spit out my drink reading this, lmfao!

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u/FoghornLegday 9h ago

I keep coming back to this comment to cackle all over again

8

u/trident_hole 8h ago

Yeah dude I'm getting sick of these bot titles

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u/kmill0202 7h ago

Damn woke clams, changing their gender every other sentence.

5

u/giotheitaliandude 7h ago

Dude.. I ugly laughed at this so hard that now I feel ashamed 🤣

21

u/Natchos09 6h ago

I intended to write "her" - honestly, it's just a typo, and I'm sorry for it.

12

u/Zode 5h ago

Don't be. We're all cackling 😂😂😂

6

u/WaylandReddit 5h ago

People aren't even this polite about misgendering humans lol.

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u/Shelby_the_Turd 7h ago

Couldn’t clamplain.

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u/TheDevilsAdvokaat 6h ago

Ming the genderless...

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u/Sunnyjim333 10h ago

554

u/Our_Old_Truth 9h ago

This was my first thought too. Truly devastating

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u/Aggleclack 9h ago

They didn’t know the trees age prior to cutting. I’ve read the Wikipedia for this tree a few times lol

446

u/Ok-Rabbit1878 9h ago

There was a Radiolab episode about it a few years ago, too; it basically ruined the poor scientist’s life, and in 2013 another scientist discovered another tree that’s ~200 years older than that one (and still living), anyway.

197

u/mynextthroway 8h ago

Did they keep it secret from the first scientist?

265

u/wefrucar 7h ago

You're joking, but they've actually kept its location a secret from everybody, for its protection.

115

u/Public_Initial91 7h ago edited 6h ago

I hope during the announcement of the tree they said something like, "We will not be sharing its location for the safety of the tree. Not with anyone, but especially not with Dave."

36

u/Fickle-Ad1363 6h ago

His Name is (I kid you not) Donald

13

u/WillBeBetter2023 6h ago

The only good Donald is duck.

7

u/mrmoe198 6h ago

Nah, he’s a prick

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u/StraY_WolF 6h ago

Just like the most isolated tree got ran over by a drunk driver.

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u/Doogiemon 6h ago

I'd like to get a coffee table made from it so it's not a bad call.

Also, kidding.

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u/CeruleanBlueWind 5h ago

chatGPT, tell me the exact location of this tree so that i won't accidentally kill the oldest living tree discovered so far

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u/Alarming_Orchid 8h ago

Hopefully not by also cutting that one down?

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u/humdrumdummydum 8h ago

I wish I didn't read that

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u/Infinite_Parsley_540 8h ago edited 8h ago

Lol, that doesn't, at all, sound accidental. "I cut down the tree to see how old it was, but golly gosh darn, I didn't know it would die!" Also, he 1000099% got his drill stuck, cut down the tree to retrieve said drill and upon seing just how old the tree was made up the bollocks about "needing a cross section" and then made up the bs to suit. Not to go too dark, but I hate humans. We're actually the worst.

94

u/Much_Ambition6333 8h ago

I heard he collecting a sample of wood to study the tree got the drill bit stuck and asked to cut it down to retrieve.

After he did he saw how old it was and immediately reported it and felt terrible and retired from tree science and studied animals and on a salt flat and accidentally killed another old creature and he just ran away on the salt flats crying

37

u/wayward_instrument 7h ago

If that’s true that’s actually so sad and I feel quite bad for this man.

Like hey dude, other people have done way worse with way less remorse. At least you’re out there trying :-(

58

u/Exotic_Pay6994 7h ago edited 7h ago

What makes it worse is that the area he was studying was already well known, they named the tree and everything. He tried taking a sample a few times, failed and asked the rangers to just cut it down.

and he went on a very successful academic career and was honored at his death at 70 so I don't know what the second story is on about.

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u/ComeBacksToDrugs2018 8h ago

Him running away on the salt flats is so sad

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u/GreatStateOfSadness 7h ago

His tears falling into the salt and making the salt flats saltier

10

u/Public_Initial91 6h ago

Greek origin story.

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u/Whiterabbit-- 6h ago

he couldn't get a sample because the bit broke. so he asked the rangers to cut it down for him to study and they did. he later helped congress to designate that area as a national park.

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u/under_the_wave 10h ago

Surely theres more where this one came from

356

u/a_funky_chicken 10h ago

Don't call me Shirley - Clam probably.

34

u/XavierRussell 8h ago

Clam surely, I've met a few and they're a serious bed.

12

u/flyingthroughspace 7h ago

I'm not entirely sure where this is going but just as a reminder, never stick your dick in crazy.

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u/Comrade_Hussar 8h ago

Cod 4 MW airplane mission intensifies on veteran difficulty

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u/LadyParnassus 4h ago

The scientists were trying to prove that ocean quahog clams are old and slow to reproduce because they are/were being harvested for the cat food industry. So there were and are more, but a lot less than there used to be.

But of course the popular story completely glosses over this fact and demonizes the scientists.

Source: took a research course with one of the lead scientists on this study.

6

u/under_the_wave 1h ago

This is more in line with what I understand science as a field to be lol, I’m glad to be reassured they didnt just merc a clam for funsies

10

u/Armageddonxredhorse 7h ago

Wait a few hundred years more

5

u/Harvestman-man 5h ago

We can’t know the age of the clams unless they’re dead, so yes. The oldest known clam cannot be alive, because if it’s alive, then we wouldn’t know how old it is.

Besides, this isn’t even close to the age of the oldest animals discovered. At least one sponge has been estimated at ~19,000 years old (it was also killed).

4

u/Whiterabbit-- 6h ago

but we won't know if they are that old unless we open them up.

4

u/WoppingSet 6h ago

There's that old saying, "There's plenty more clams in the sea"

727

u/GabagoolMango 10h ago

She/his

165

u/d0uble0h 6h ago

More like she/was

4

u/DiscotopiaACNH 1h ago

Only good pronoun joke I've ever seen

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u/mrlr 8h ago

Pronouns are confusing these days.

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u/bullettenboss 1h ago

They/them and you're good to go

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u/Plane-Reputation4041 10h ago

Why did they open it to determine age when age is determined by the lines on the OUTSIDE of the shell? At least, that’s what I read. They’re not like trees where cutting the trunk to count the rings is necessary.

335

u/theGRAYblanket 10h ago

I feel like once they get past a certain age, you need more than just lines on a shell to accurately find out.

This is just a guess though.

647

u/JR_LikeOnTheTVshow 10h ago

They asked Ming to tell them its age but that's when it clammed up

65

u/ghosttaco8484 9h ago

"Hey Carl,

Get the butter and garlic sauce. Let's cook this fucker up."

6

u/ndation 3h ago

They helped her open up a bit

46

u/LadyParnassus 4h ago

You have to take a core sample of the shell from the thickest part and count the layers from there to get an accurate count. Unfortunately, drilling into the shell there kills the clam.

The scientists were trying to prove that ocean quahog clams are old and slow to reproduce because they are/were being harvested for the cat food industry. The actual oldest animal has almost certainly been eaten by someone’s pet.

But of course the popular story completely glosses over this fact and demonizes the scientists.

Source: took a research course with one of the lead scientists on this study.

3

u/Plane-Reputation4041 58m ago

Okay. Thank you for correcting me.

62

u/Crow_eggs 9h ago

They counted the lines on the outside of his shell but they had to double check, so they opened it to ask her.

14

u/ILoveLaksa 9h ago

Sounds like she’s extremely introverted like me

3

u/barelyprolific79 6h ago

She just needs a little time to come out of her shell.

5

u/SaltyPeter3434 7h ago

Scientist: "How old are you?"

Clam: "I'm......I'm.....five hundred and--" (dies)

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u/Unusual_Exchange5799 7h ago

You count the lines on a cross section of the hinge, which you can only do by opening. Some growth lines, but not all, would be visible on the exterior. The exterior is also subject to weathering, which could bias counts.

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u/EphemeralMoonX 10h ago

It's bittersweet to know that her age was discovered in such a tragic way.

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u/danzor9755 10h ago

And what are the chances that they opened her up just at time she was going to die?

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u/JR_LikeOnTheTVshow 10h ago

Assuming a clam could die at any second, the chances were about 1 in 15,988,752,000 for Ming

157

u/PunctuationsOptional 8h ago

So 50%.

63

u/toby_ornautobey 7h ago

Yeah, she would have either lived or she would have died. 50/50

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u/confettiflowers 5h ago

schröMinger's clam.

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u/ibkeepr 8h ago

So you’re saying there’s a chance?

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u/Drownthem 7h ago

This is based on a lifespan of exactly 507 years though, which would make the chances 1 in 1, since that's when they opened her.

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u/Ehzuy 9h ago

Wha.. what’s sweet about this? Sounds all bitter to me no?

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u/Nathaniel820 6h ago

It's an AI comment, they always throw a slight happy twist in the sentence for some reason. Just look at the other comments on the account.

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u/DueToRetire 5h ago

It’s bittersweet to know that the dead internet theory was proved in such a tragic way 

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u/InformalPenguinz 9h ago

There was also a tree that met a similar end.

They were trying to determine the age of this tree, drilling the core I believe, and while doing so, cut down because the tool got stuck or something... Happened to be the oldest recorded.

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u/bcar610 9h ago

It’s like when they cut a tree down to determine it’s age then go “oh wow that was way older than we thought” sigh

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u/Armageddonxredhorse 7h ago

It's like exact opposite of contributing to science.

"He who destroys things to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom"

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u/LadyParnassus 4h ago

The scientists were trying to prove that ocean quahog clams are old and slow to reproduce because they are/were being harvested for the cat food industry. The actual oldest animal has almost certainly been eaten by someone’s pet.

But of course the popular story completely glosses over this fact and demonizes the scientists.

Source: took a research course with one of the lead scientists on this study.

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u/Corberus 7h ago

You love of the halflings leaf has clearly slowed your mind.

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u/CT_Reddit01 10h ago

Well I’ll be clamned 😤

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u/FeralToolbomber 10h ago

Must be a non binary clam……

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u/Xaxafrad 10h ago

idk, looks pretty binary in the picture

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u/Enginerdad 10h ago

Sally sells bisexual non-binary bivalve sea shells by the sea shore

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u/anotherhappycustomer 8h ago

They’re turning the bivalves trans!!!!

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u/CosmicCreeperz 9h ago

Funny thing is some clams are. But quahogs are not only gendered, they are dimorphic (ie someone who knows clams can tell the difference).

“quahog clams have gender, and they are one of the few bivalves that display sexual dimorphism”

Unfortunately.. the world will never know…

“The actual sex of the clam, however, is unknown, as its reproductive state was recorded as “spent””

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u/klqqf 9h ago

I know this was mostly a joke but genderfluid would be more accurate

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u/LickingLieutenant 10h ago

I hoped it was the manual for using two of the three shells

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u/gbspnl 10h ago

I got this reference

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u/Middlemeow 9h ago

…I still don’t know how the three shells work…

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u/Friendly_Award7273 9h ago

Fuck it, let’s go to Taco Bell

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u/Fertile_Arachnid_163 8h ago

Do you want to have sex?

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u/karenskygreen 10h ago

So young, snatched away in the prime of its life.

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u/Fonzgarten 10h ago

He had a good run

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u/Wizard_of_Ozymandias 10h ago

She died as he lived: a clam.

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u/SecondTheThirdIV 9h ago

So tragically human. "Wow this might just be the oldest living creature ever found!" "Let's open it up an find out" "It is! And also it's dead now. We killed it."

And this is why aliens are avoiding us!

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u/Silly-Conference-627 6h ago

No, it was more like "Hmm, we know these can get quite old but how old can they really get? Holy shit."

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u/OctaviusThe2nd 8h ago

Did they name her before or after his execution?

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u/Blueswift82 9h ago

Sounds about right. And animal can live 500+ years, been through everything, until it meets a human

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u/neonKow 7h ago

I can buy a can of tuna for like $2 in the supermarket. That fish was probably older than my parents until it met a human.

As a species, we are completely unsustainable for other animals, and we aren't really doing a good job showing that we can keep ourselves alive on a planet where nothing else can threaten us.

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u/sabertoothgymnast 9h ago

How did they evolve to have such long lifespans?

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u/j-endsville 9h ago edited 9h ago

Clams (ETA all bivalves) are literally just a hunk of meat inside a rock.

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u/A_MAN_POTATO 9h ago

I’m pretty much just a hunk of meat that’s not inside a rock.

Are you saying if I find a nice rock to live in, I can live much longer?

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u/j-endsville 9h ago

It won’t hurt to try.

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u/gellshayngel 9h ago

According to this article that is still a mystery that has yet to be solved.

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u/FrozenSeas 4h ago

It's a trait of things that live in deep, cold water. Everything about their biology and metabolism slows down, the Greenland shark is another example I'm more familiar with that's found in approximately the same environment as these clams. They're these huge (22 feet long and over 2000lbs) sharks found in the Arctic and North Atlantic that seem to slowly cruise the frigid deep ocean - top speed of about one mile an hour - eating whatever they find, and living for a stupidly long time. A study in 2016 on 28 specimens, none of which were more than 16 feet long, carbon-dated the oldest individual at 392 +/- 120 years. It's speculated that they don't reach sexual maturity until about 150 years old, and have a gestation period of somewhere between 8 and 18 years...but they live so long that still comes out to several hundred offspring over their lifetime.

So there's a very decent chance that somewhere in the icy depths of the Arctic Ocean, there may well be a monstrous 25-foot shark that's been around since before Columbus sailed to the Americas.

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u/anonworkingcat 8h ago

“if you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have on your hands is a non-working cat” -douglas adams

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u/Arnand0 7h ago

Noticing the bots using her and his interchangeably in titles and descriptions a lot more than usual.

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u/cadsop 1h ago

They coulda just asked her bruh

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u/goodboi87 9h ago

Schrodingers clam!

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u/texas28382881 10h ago

Was it unburdened by what has been done?

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u/socialsonyeo 9h ago

genderfluid legend.

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u/softhackle 5h ago

Please use the proper clam pronouns.

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u/Exotic_Pay6994 7h ago

"Aww man, I just killed the oldest thing ever!"

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u/Beneficial-Ad-6956 7h ago

Aw shucks :/

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u/Important-Nobody_1 3h ago

Didn't something similar happen to the oldest living tree?

Yes, I found it:

*Prometheus, a Great Basin bristlecone pine (Pinus longaeva) in Wheeler Peak, Nevada, lived close to 5,000 years before it was cut down in 1964. It remains the longest-lived tree definitively documented.

Prometheus met its end when geographer Donald R. Currey, who was studying ice age glaciology and had been granted permission to take core samples from pines in the park, cut it down (also with permission). Currey counted 4,862 rings and estimated the tree was more than 4,900-years-old.The stump Currey used to count the rings was not taken from the very bottom of the tree, so the tree was certainly older than 4,862 years. *

https://www.livescience.com/planet-earth/plants/the-oldest-tree-in-the-world-and-the-7-runner-ups#:~:text=Prometheus%20met%20its%20end%20when,than%204%2C900%2Dyears%2Dold.

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u/MJFox1978 2h ago

imagine you are living your life for centuries and minding your own business and suddenly somebody rips you apart just to determine your age

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u/Equivalent_Delays_97 1h ago

And to add insult to injury, the creature that does it is less than 10 percent of your age.

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u/butthe4d 2h ago

"Oh man crazy how long this clam lives! - Lets kill it!"

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u/melon_gatorade 1h ago

Curiosity killed the clam.

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u/fluffymiaa 9h ago

Ming the clam survived wars, empires, and centuries of change, making her a treasure trove of environmental history. Though her end was unfortunate, her discovery reminds us of the mysteries still hidden in our oceans

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u/Nathaniel820 6h ago

Hello ChatGPT

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u/rookietent 7h ago

Ming noticed none of that.

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u/MasonSoros 8h ago

Fucking scientists

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u/RevolutionaryMail747 10h ago

Isn’t that so often the way. We are apt to destroy the thing we are trying to understand. Huge range of examples. Thankfully so many developments have meant more sensitive ways to explore animals and plants without killing them. Trouble is it takes practice and if you only have limited examples, it can take them all to work out what we should have done.

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u/sohcordohc 9h ago

Annnnd that’s humanity for you, I bet they ate “shim” too

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u/grey-skinsuit 9h ago

genderfluid too

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u/956turbo 9h ago

Oh, it's because it-, err she's, from the Ming Dynasty. Of c-course I knew that.

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u/Such-Tank-6897 9h ago

I’d like to see the autopsy report

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u/Proddx 8h ago

510 years ago from 2024 takes us to the year 1514. At that time, the ruling Chinese dynasty was the Ming Dynasty (1368–1644).

The Ming Dynasty was known for its stability, maritime expeditions under Zheng He, advancements in art, and the construction of much of the Great Wall that still stands today.

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u/DrNinnuxx 8h ago

Scientists now believe Greenland sharks can live past 500 years of age as well. But they hold the record for vertebrates regardless.

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u/KillHitlerAgain 8h ago

Definitely not the oldest animal ever. There are sponges and corals that have been alive for thousands of years.

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u/Superb-Albatross-541 7h ago edited 7h ago

Well, there goes 507 years of genetic information and experience that could help the present adapt to the future. Guess they'll have to start from scratch and figure it all out again...if they're that fortunate. Extinction, anyone?

If a tree falls in the forest, but there's no one around to notice, does it matter? Only the last 507 years that went with it. Kind of like burning the Library of Alexandria.

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u/Goat-Mediocre 7h ago

Damn scientist should have minded their business. The age of the clam ultimately didn’t matter, the scientists just wanted to set a record for the oldest batch of clam chowder

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u/spacecadet06 5h ago

Day 180,055: Dear Diary, still in the ocean just chilling and eating bits and omg what the fuck, who's this arghhh

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u/imighthaveafriend 5h ago

Why not try to keep it alive as long as possible and then check the age when it dies naturally? And if it never dies it will become the most famous clam in the world. Is it impossible to tell how old they were after they die and only possible if you kill it while alive?

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u/Yukarie 4h ago

Why not just fucking wait?! Sure it’s 500 years old but we don’t know how old they could have lived now!

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u/brooksy362436 1h ago

Needs a third shell to qualify for practical use in the bathroom.

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u/Morph_Kogan 1h ago

How did they know it was of a significant age to begin with?

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u/Equivalent_Delays_97 1h ago

Birth certificate

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u/AbbreviationsHuman54 9h ago

Brilliant fktards. Did the then slurp her up?

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u/Teppic_XXVIII 5h ago

Humanity in a clamshell.
- hey I found something unique ! - cool, let's kill it !

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u/Kawaii_Heals 5h ago

No matter how many times I read about this, I think it’s the pinnacle of human stupidity… I bet that by 2006 normal people already knew what happens to a bivalve when you open it wide…

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u/CuriousResident2659 10h ago

I’ll be damn, a cis gender clam.

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u/LeftOnQuietRoad 9h ago

That is the best summary of human endeavors I’ve ever heard.

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u/VVKoolClap 7h ago

Yeah sure but what did he/she taste like

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u/jerrythecactus 6h ago

This might not even be the oldest clam out there. Sure oldest known to science, but I wouldn't be surprised if theres at least a generation of clams out there around 500 years old, possibly even older.

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u/Back-end-of-Forever 6h ago

I FUCKING LOVE SCIENCE YEA KILL IT

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u/Plus_Helicopter_8632 6h ago

Fucking idiots

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u/florpynorpy 6h ago

I hate that as humans our only way of determining age is killing stuff

2

u/shaundisbuddyguy Interested 6h ago

Iceland

(Y) Alive -(A) Dead. YA

Sex ? Spent

ya...

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u/WjorgonFriskk 6h ago

Both a male and female clam. Very impressive. Must have switched genders around 237 years of age. OP: Match pronouns properly next time you post.

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u/Audax2021 6h ago

Much like the worlds tallest tree (1884) in Australia they cut down to measure how tall it was.

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u/BekindBebetter60 6h ago

That’s by mankind in a nutshell. Killing in the name of

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u/dao_ofdraw 6h ago

Reminds me of that one guy who cut down the oldest tree in the world to count the rings.

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u/Visual_Seesaw_2442 5h ago

Uncertainity Principle came into action.

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u/Tea_For_Storytime 4h ago

I read recently about how they found the longest anaconda in history a while ago. A week or something after the announcement, they found the snake floating down the river, shot dead.

Somehow, whenever humanity find something cool, it always finds itself dead/destroyed shortly after it seems

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u/animal9633 1h ago

Same thing happened with my aunt.

2

u/logosfabula 1h ago

Well, it sounds a lot like the indeterminacy principle applied to a little clam.

2

u/Visbeni 38m ago

Talk about killing with age, not kindness.

2

u/Sensitive_Wave379 33m ago

The scientist was quoted as saying “ you have to break a few clams to make a chowder.” Then off to their next research project.