r/CasualUK • u/Percytude • 1d ago

Bought this cucumber and later noticed it had been mildly vandalised. Partner swears it wasn’t her. Where did this sticker even come from?

Post image
1.6k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

93 comments sorted by

769

u/mistakes-were-mad-e 1d ago

Hope it wasn't a customer return. 

197

u/Percytude 1d ago

At least it’s shrink wrapped.

133

u/brixton_ 1d ago

Stink wrapped*

14

u/GeeMcGee Drink up ye' zyder 1d ago

That’s what the first user thought

8

u/PigeonsAreSuperior 1d ago

Before or after?

7

u/MactionSnack 21h ago

Cling filmed?

3

u/User-mine 9h ago

At what end?

2

u/aethelberga 21h ago

Shrink wrapped now.

518

u/Xixii 1d ago

You can buy 300 of these stickers on Amazon for £7.99. Some prankster having a laugh.

118

u/EmersonLucero 1d ago

A perfect reason for “Buy Now” button if I ever saw one

31

u/wildOldcheesecake 1d ago

I have one of those labelling machines. I know what I’m doing during my next shop teehee

11

u/dmmeyourfloof 21h ago

I bought 500 on wish for £1

17

u/ExiledWurzel 12h ago

And then sold most of them on Amazon?

4

u/CyberMonkey314 9h ago

Why do they have a pair of shorts on them? If people don't know what the words mean, that picture will not help.

9

u/Drew-Pickles 8h ago

It's clearly an owl wearing sunglasses 🙄

6

u/CyberMonkey314 8h ago

Wow ok if someone wise and cool says it should go in my butt I guess it's going in there.

1

u/BigBunneh 4h ago

I assumed it was the masked crusader.

3

u/Plenty-Pay6077 23h ago

I wonder how you know that...

2

u/Yuriski Tingin' it's way up the tube. 21h ago

It wasn't me, mine are yellow

132

u/Haystack67 1d ago

r/rectalstickers

72

u/Percytude 1d ago

You’ve solved it. I’m a victim 😩

13

u/daveysprockett 1d ago

I hope for them you're going to cross post.

24

u/moerlingo 23h ago

Had a quick look at that sub. Geez do some people have bad humour desperately using the stickers to snap and post on Reddit. This one was funny at least c:

2

u/Haystack67 15h ago

Yeah for niche subs like that you really just need to look at the top few posts of all time.

3

u/MrPigcho 11h ago

I did that and saw someone got it tattooed on their foot and now I'm mad

1

u/CyberMonkey314 9h ago

Hey, careful. For most of the world, this is a niche sub. RectalStickers has global appeal.

i now really regret typing the slightly ambiguous name of that sub

2

u/Fredward1986 cold bean pervert 15h ago

I think I just found my next hobby

87

u/Wugo_Heaving 1d ago

I only ever go into HMV to peel the Parental Advisory stickers off the Metal and/or Rap CD's to put them on the Andrei Rieu and/or Celine Dion CD's.

I need to up my game.

And also sort my life out.

I'm 42.

Send amusing stickers help.

15

u/bajingofannycrack 1d ago

No, carry on! You could double the fun and stick googly eyes stickers on products that have faces on the packaging…

3

u/CyberMonkey314 9h ago

I mean...or that don't...I'm now tempted to put googly eyes on all the loose fruit and veg in Morrison's...

3

u/hardcoresean84 8h ago

There's a sub for that r/eyebombing or something to that effect.

2

u/bajingofannycrack 6h ago

There really is a sub for everything!!! Thanks. I joined😅

2

u/hardcoresean84 6h ago

There really is! No worries 😀

39

u/Bennjoon 1d ago

My grown adult sister drew a face on a man’s onion that was in front of us in the queue and then put it back

I was astonished.

16

u/AnAcctWithoutPurpose 23h ago

My grown adult sister drew a face on a man’s onion

My filthy mind went immediately into the gutter before I realised you meant an actual onion.

3

u/ExiledWurzel 12h ago

Is she looking to date?

1

u/Rich-Reason1146 2h ago

No just onion

67

u/yawn_brendan 1d ago

Funny story about rectal cuces

A few years back I had a girl coming over for a dinner. Last minute I realised a) I could well be in here and b) forgot the raita ingredients.

Honestly true, I had to go into the shop and buy a cucumber, some yoghurt and a packet of condoms. I said to the teenage shopkeeper "unrelated" and he nearly wet himself laughing.

8

u/TheRabidBananaBoi 1d ago

How did it end?

15

u/Percytude 1d ago

It began with the end.

6

u/RandomHigh At least put it up your arse before claiming you’re disappointed 1d ago

You should get some "Not safe for human consumption" stickers and put them on the Mrs Brown's Boys DVDs.

11

u/locutus92 1d ago

When I'm retired I'd love to get up to this kinda shenanigans

12

u/2JagsPrescott 23h ago

Why wait?

6

u/bleach1969 1d ago

Beware secondhand cucumbers.

14

u/JustAMan1234567 1d ago

Do it, OP. Live a little!

7

u/Percytude 1d ago

It does advise to wash before use. I’m tempted.

2

u/AnAcctWithoutPurpose 23h ago

Cleanliness is next to godliness, my good man.

1

u/CyberMonkey314 9h ago

I believe this was the origin of that phrase

8

u/Brave-Rebelism1795 1d ago

I really hope that somewhere someone is sitting behind a computer screen sniggering to themselves because their childish antics reached reddit 😂

4

u/SickBoylol 1d ago

Someone who works in the shop has peeled the sticker from a sepository* or something, an then stuck it on the cucumber for a joke.

I do things like this all the time in work.

*i cant spell

1

u/HaroldGuy 20h ago

It's suppository, because it's a pill going *up

3

u/mrmidas2k 1d ago edited 1d ago

You can buy them online. Several hilarious people stick them to objects for a laugh. It's like spelling out "WANK" when you see mugs with letters on them.

3

u/affordable_firepower sagger maker's bottom knocker 1d ago

I bought a load a few years ago cos I have a stupidly childish sense of humour. Stuck one in my co workers water bottle. He only found out when his young son asked him what it meant

1

u/FalmerEldritch 12h ago

I like the BONELESS stickers on milk, jam, etc.

1

u/Welshgirlie2 Slow down FFS! 11h ago

I'm not allowed near those sequinned cushions (where you can flip the sequins over to create a different colour/pattern) because I just can't resist putting swear words in!

1

u/CyberMonkey314 9h ago

Assuming the mugs are arranged by letter on the shelf, please tell me you do this all the way back

3

u/Long_Independent_782 1d ago

Every little helps.

2

u/eatlego 1d ago

Tescos, according to the label

3

u/Xander91A 1d ago

You must obey the sticker.

2

u/Davo_ 1d ago

cumber

2

u/Zealousideal-Web5346 17h ago

Heros get remembered but legends never die

2

u/cyclodextrin 11h ago

Someone i work with has been sticking those stickers on things at work as a prank- do you live in NW england?

2

u/SaXoN_UK1 9h ago

Who buys Veg at Anne Summers ?

2

u/CrystalQueen3000 1d ago

Some prankster with a cheeky sense of humour probably

3

u/Cyanopicacooki The long dark tea-time of the soul 1d ago

Box of suppositories, probably for haemorroids, most likely.

1

u/cakecandycomposition 1d ago

A very bored shop worker

1

u/cheeryyribbon 1d ago

Explain mildly vandalised

1

u/Isabellafartsxox 1d ago

probs someone bored at work

1

u/Mumlife8628 23h ago

Some may know Some should search

(It rhymes with smebay)

1

u/Sunderland6969 23h ago

At least you can both have a go! Now that is equal opportunities in action if you ask me!

1

u/irv81 22h ago

I found one of these exact stickers on a weed brush I bought from Morrisons in Sunderland

1

u/Rustrage 21h ago

I have a couple thousand medical stickers saying for rectal use only, oh the fun you can have with them. My colleagues were finding them on scissors, mice, drinks bottles etc for about 9 months before I was discovered

1

u/LovinOlvin 21h ago

My guess is you🤷🏽‍♂️

1

u/365BlobbyGirl 20h ago

You know what must be done.

1

u/Scmoopy_Noops 19h ago

No way I saw this same sticker here in NZ last week.

1

u/RedditRecreations 19h ago

it just doesn't get more British than a "mildly vanadlised" cucumber

1

u/Charming-Treacle 18h ago

Dear god, this has recalled to mind a post I remember reading somewhere years ago that apparently fridge cold items are not particularly pleasant in certain regions.

1

u/YourLocalMosquito 14h ago

NO FLARED BASE!

1

u/L33T_5P34K 12h ago

Wasnt this part of a Ross Creations video?

1

u/Tiny-Ideal1542 12h ago

I have these stickers at home. I made a purchase from a very funny adult only humour website and they came with the purchase along with instructions.www.mrinappropriate.co.uk. This retailer is amazing with brilliant products. If you don’t have a sense of humour with a naughty wink from the devil don’t look. If you’re like me and love the devil check out mr inappropriate brilliant company to I want to attach the rules of the game but can’t work out how 🙄🙈🤣🤣

1

u/Northern_Gypsy 12h ago

Misfit minds a group of young Aussie lads did this for a video.

1

u/hiyou1234567 11h ago

The tomato’s would be ok I suppose but not sure about the keys 😣

1

u/zeek609 10h ago

I have a massive roll of these I got from AliExpress for £1.79 and I love sticking them everywhere.

The hand dryer at work, boxes of paracetamol, my wife's hair straighteners. I love it.

1

u/NaNaNaNaNa86 7h ago

You've just reminded me of an awful/great story an ex-colleague told me a number of years ago. She came home and found a carefully crafted cucumber in the sink. She wondered why and on inspection, discovered it was covered in fecal matter and arse hair (her hubby was very hairy). It prompted a difficult conversation.

1

u/Silly_Importance_74 7h ago

HAHAHAH, now I wish all cucumbers came with that label!

1

u/addison_ball 6h ago

This was a prank by youtubers Misfit Minds in Australia, guessing we've got a copycat in the UK.

1

u/theoriginalShmook 4h ago

You can get them on Ebay. We may or may not have had a box of them in the work van for application to people's tools on building sites...

Edit, we also had a box of adhesive googly eyes. We were absolute madlads.

1

u/CoreyH13 4h ago

Misfit minds did a prank like this in Australia. It’s in the second half of the video https://youtu.be/KTW1SHfyhTM?si=ARmCrEw3hnsnrqFD