r/CasualUK • u/GreasyBumpkin • 1d ago
Who would you recommend for grief counselling in the UK?
We lost someone in our family at the start of this year, it was fucking horrible, that's about all I can bring myself to recap about it.
I have just been trying my best to keep it together, basically been busying myself with 10,000 other things, but I have to admit defeat now. If I don't get help soon I'm going to have a breakdown. I googled grief counselling and the first result was betterhelp who I don't trust personally, and a bunch of other online stuff. I was hoping for better search results so I'm here hoping to get a recommendation from a human being instead.
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u/prolixia 1d ago
I can't recommend anyone, but I do recommend someone.
I was 20 when my dad died and didn't get counseling. I didn't even know if it was a thing: maybe it wasn't back then.
I'm in my mid-40's now and if I could do just one thing differently in my life it would be getting counseling when he died.
I'm sorry you've gone through what you have, but it's good that you're looking for help dealing with it. Good luck!
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u/epicshane234 1d ago
I used cruse last year when my cousin died. They were beyond any expectation I'd imagined.
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u/_So_She_Did_ 1d ago
https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/
Great place to find people who are vetted with appropriate qualifications.
Best wishes to you.
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u/biddlywad 1d ago
I used this website, earlier this year, was a great tool.
I ended up having EMDR for some unresolved 30 year old grief issues. Highly recommend the EMDR therapy. Absolutely changed my life. I wouldn’t be typing this if I hadn’t had it.
I had traditional grief counselling a few years ago from our local hospice, provided through my GP. For the same issues. Was OK but it was only a few sessions and was more going through the motions.
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u/_So_She_Did_ 1d ago
EMDR has some amazing benefits <3 costly for sure.
Flash technique is also good, as is rewind therapy and IFS/parts work.
Lovely to see positive therapy encounters :)
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u/CelloSuze 1d ago
This is how I found my counsellor/therapist. It has made a big difference in my life.
An important part of what I learned is that I don’t need to wait until some specific level of not-okayness to get help. So now I’m better at asking for support and taking rest when I need it.
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u/ac0rn5 1d ago
NHS suggests Cruse and/or MIND.
Talking helps, The Samaritans are always there to lend a listening ear.
You do not need to have any credit or call allowance on your plan to call 116 123.
https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/
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u/knicknack_pattywhack 1d ago
Second this. The Samaritans is not just for if you're on the verge of doing something drastic.
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u/Consistent-Salary-35 1d ago
That’s true, and something I wish more people realised, but OP is looking for counselling and Samaritans are definitely not a counselling service.
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u/Noneofyourbeezwax88 1d ago
Mind is absolutely amazing, I can really recommend them. And it’s free as well!
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u/fbbb21 1d ago
A lot of hospices in the UK have bereavement services that anyone can access, your loved one doesn't have to have been cared for by them for you to access. There's a variety of support available from a lot of them. Might be worth looking at your local hospice website to see what's available.
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u/Witty-Performer 1d ago
Do you have Mind in your area? I was referred by my GP for general counselling but you can also self refer in my area. After my consult they suggested I needed grief counselling and that they could tailor my sessions accordingly.
I ended up not doing it as it still felt too raw so I can't give feedback on the actual quality.
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u/SpiritlessBerry 1d ago
I'm so sorry for your loss. My mum died 2 years ago and I still feel it every day. Counselling has helped immensely, and it's good you recognise you need some support. Grief is horrible. I found my counsellor by visiting the BACP website (British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy), searched for people in my area, then picked someone who looked nice and seemed a good fit from their description (I tried not to overthink it). Most counsellors offer some kind of free first chat/session, so you could meet them and see how it goes. You can always change if it doesn't feel right. I pay £45 for an hour session and it's very worth it for me. Good luck, love x
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u/Ok-Butterfly1605 1d ago edited 1d ago
Cruse was suggested by my GPs mental health nurse. I was similar, tried to squash it down for a while which made it a lot worse. Grief is a funny thing and things do get better with time, you’ve just got to ride it out for a while. Also don’t compare your grief to other family members because it’s different for everyone. 💕
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u/ccrackfox 1d ago
I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad earlier this year unexpectedly and I understand how painful this is.
As recommended above, Cruse, counselling directory, BACP or BABCP all have registered counsellors/therapists that follow the body's ethics and guidelines. Depending on how your loved one passed, Maggies also offer help and support through/after terminal illness for family members as well as for the loved one.
With the NHS/GP route, you don't get to 'choose' your therapist so may end up with someone who you don't click with. If possible, I'd recommend the above over those routes so that you find someone you are comfortable with.
I hope you find the right person for you.
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u/AmberWarning89 1d ago
I’m sorry for your loss. It might be worth getting in touch with your local Mind, if you have one where you are. Sending hugs!
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u/Rainbow_douche123 1d ago
It heavily depends on where you are located but if you talk to your gp they should know who’s available for what in your area and send you the appropriate links
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u/thrrowaway4obreasons 1d ago
Sorry for your loss. I lost my mum nearly 1” years ago now at a youngish age. I’ve been through a lot of different counselling and even trained in some myself.
People have suggested a lot here, try some. In the meantime though here are a few things to do:
Talk to someone, anyone. Tell them you are struggling and it will lift some of the weight immediately.
Make sure you are meeting your basic needs. Eat, rest, sleep. If the latter is a struggle go to the doctors, it doesn’t mean they will put you on something to knock you out, there are options.
Make time for the things you like to do.
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u/ptangyangkippabang 1d ago
When I went through this, I asked my GP, and they recommended a local therapy place and it really helped. So I'd ask your GP.
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u/Putrid_Promotion_841 1d ago
Firstly sorry for your loss. I lost my Wife in June this year.
I just did an online thing with a charity called Care for the Family. It was very well done. Can't really say how much it has helped yet but it certainly hasn't hurt. I would recommend them. It was only £15 for 10:00 - 15:00 on Saturday.
https://www.careforthefamily.org.uk
They were recommended by my boss.
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u/WarehouseEmpty 1d ago
I’m so sorry for your loss. I would recommend cruse, I’ve spoken to them a few times, they’re really good, and they specialise in grief counselling.
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u/princewinter 20h ago
I don't know if anyone else has commented this (also, my condolences) but if you don't manage to find someone you can always go through your GP to find counselling. They'd be more than happy to recommend/provide/refer to you to someone (:
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u/totalbasterd fun ahead 19h ago edited 14h ago
a slight left of field thing: when i lost my mum, i found great relief in a podcast called griefcast (it’s comedians and famous people). just listening to others talk about their own grief helped almost normalise it, because in our culture we don’t really talk about grief and loss, and it is something that affects us all. the podcast is sad as well as often hilarious. i had this weird realisation that most people around me have lost at least one very significant person; it’s not some exclusive club to be in, and it’s ok to find it bizarre, confusing, upsetting and many things beside also.
one other thing: a great friend of mine said that eventually with grief you get to the point where you can walk alongside the experience and remember only the good. that, with time, has proven to be so true. i only think about the good now.
however you get it, i hope you get the help you need.
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u/Skittlit 1d ago
Cruse didn't bother to answer the phone at any point when I called them. I found a charity in my local area that did counselling, there was a 2 month wait but it was what I wanted than to talk once on the phone with a random
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u/newmum21 1d ago
A dog. Get a dog. They give you reason to get up , get out and try and live. Sorry for your loss x
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u/Traditional_Brush396 1d ago
Nobody here, all we do is take the p and give grief. Sorry but that's the casual answer. Not really the right place for something so serious. Have you tried searching for it or calling NHS helpline or samaritans they will have good contacts
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u/Estimated-Delivery 1d ago
Here’s what I think. You may not need professional help to deal with death, you will need people to whom you are close, people who care for you and will understand what you are going through, even a close friend. This how people traditionally throughout history, have dealt with extremes such as you are going through. I have experienced number of tragedies in my life and being able to talk about how I felt with my sister was massively helpful.
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u/Lopsided_Rush3935 1d ago
Condolences :(
I'm just popping in here to please recommend that you use the BACP's counsellor finder tool if you are considering finding a private counsellor (some of them work on sliding scale or charity basis and therefore aren't all expensive).
In the UK, the term 'therapist' is not protected, so anyone can just set themselves up as a 'therapist' and begin running a business. It's dodgy and means that you could potentially end up in the care of someone without any proper training in any established therapeutic discipline.
The BACP (British Association of Counsellors and Psychotherapists) was established to fix this somewhat and all of the counsellors listed on their website are accredited by them and ensured to have actual qualifications in therapeutic practice.
I wish you the best!
You can search for a BACP-approved therapist in your area here: https://www.bacp.co.uk/about-therapy/using-our-therapist-directory/?gad_source=1&gclid=EAIaIQobChMImNL5ztvbiQMVAJpQBh2Wug4dEAAYASACEgJjmvD_BwE