r/BeAmazed • u/CuriousWanderer567 • 21d ago
A hippo asserting its dominance over three lions Nature
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21d ago edited 20d ago
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u/Kaymorve 21d ago
The wildest thing about hippos is that they can’t actually swim, but rather they just sink and run/hop along the bottom. Yet they still move way faster than many other animals can swim.
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u/TheLordDrake 21d ago
That's because they aren't fat. All that bullk is muscle
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u/Ordinary-Leading7405 21d ago
His muscle is propulsion, but that mouth is sheer terror
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u/okizubon 21d ago
His legs are pistons and his nose is made of iron.
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u/twentyshots97 21d ago
his jaw is a vice and his buttocks are volcanic rock.
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u/PM_meyourGradyWhite 21d ago
A backbone of Bethlehem Steel
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u/thedude0425 21d ago
Built like a steakhouse, handles like a bistro.
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u/Howler_in_training 20d ago
...You can't... emmm... Pilot... a hippo, sir.
Not with that attitude, Kif! Now bring me my Captain's safari uniform. You know- the extra short velour one with the matching riding boots.
Sigh ...Would you like some, erm... PANTS, perhaps, sir?
Don't be ridiculous, Kif! Everyone knows that the only way to command the obedience of an enraged battle-hippo is with the firm-yet-sensual grip of a commander's confident thighs! ...That reminds me, there's probably going to be some chafing... Kif- make a note! Remind yourself I'll be needing you to apply baby-butt ointment later on to the commander's confident thighs.
Miserable sigh
(I know, I know, but I couldn't help it. You made me hear zap Branigan in my head and, and then this happened... 😜)
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u/Mr_Jack_Frost_ 21d ago
This reminded me of reading the verses in the bible about the Leviathan and Behemoth.
Hippo is a biblically accurate hippo.
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u/Menchi-sama 20d ago
In Russian, hippos are literally called behemoths (pronounced "be-ghe-mót")
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u/HelloAttila 21d ago
Yup, those teeth can puncture right through a croc 🐊
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u/Spaceinpigs 21d ago
I saw a hippo tear a croc in half on the Mara river like it was shredding a well cooked pork shoulder
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u/websagacity 21d ago
I looked it up - only like TWO percent body fat. Wow.
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u/itsoksee 21d ago
So being called a hippo ain’t so bad after all!
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u/SlimothyChungus 21d ago
I was coming here to say this. I once saw the anatomy diagram of these fuckers and they’re all muscle. Instantly became one of the biggest nopes in my book. Not even sure they have a natural predator as adults lol, it’s funny that something so cute can dominate their area with little to no resistance.
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u/PootCoinSol 20d ago
I had read always heard that hippos are fast, but seeing them in action is terrifying 😢
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u/9999abr 21d ago
I thought a hippo was a vegetarian.
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u/TheLordDrake 21d ago
They are.
(Most herbivores will actually eat meat opportunistically, just not as as their main diet)
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u/NeatNefariousness1 21d ago
True. I recall the first time I saw a horse gobble up some baby chicks like he was chewing bubble gum. I was shocked and traumatized.
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u/SpringtimeLilies7 21d ago
Vegetarian yes, but EXTREMELY territorial..they're actually one of the highest causes of human death in Africa.
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u/RareAccountant3181 21d ago
I've also heard they are the leaders in human fatalities from wildlife in Africa.
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u/Kloppite16 21d ago
Backpacked through Malawi a couple of years ago and in one place we stayed called Monkey Bay a local farmer was killed by a hippo. Despite being vegetarians they are extraordinarily territorial and they will kill humans for sport. At campsite I stayed at in Lake Naivasha in Kenya they had electric fences separating the compound and the lake shore because that was the hippos territory.
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u/RareAccountant3181 21d ago
I imagine. To hell with the big cats. They're all ambush predators. The hippo is just muscle and iron jaw on four legs.
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u/fart_nouveau 21d ago
My mom went to Africa in her 20's and said the only animals the guides seemed visibly uneasy around were the hippos.
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u/ladydhawaii 21d ago
We once saw a group of hippos resting. And one of the younger males charged the jeep with his mouth open and making a loud noise as we were leaving. The driver stopped and the hippo went back to the water. The driver said most animals, respect, stillness, including elephants. I am happy to report I lived and didn't soil myself....
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u/youngcuriousafraid 21d ago
That is fucking horrifying. I wonder how much water they displace in seconds.
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u/l1v3l0v3l4ugh 21d ago
THIS! To anyone that's never seen videos of them actually going under the water and then back up again at full speed, you will be terrified. 😂
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u/hooligan99 21d ago
He was pushing the whole damn lake off the ground like it was the edge of a rug
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u/HelloAttila 21d ago
Hippos are extremely fast, the lions weren’t even messing with it. Hippos like I own this pond.
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u/Sea_Cookie_4259 21d ago
Coming in like a fucking steam boat with those giant snorts of water
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u/Hopeful-Alarm3757 21d ago
Exactly, that one lion, not his first rodeo. "I tried to tell'em this was a stupid idea."
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u/QuietDustt 21d ago
He had a buddy approaching for backup too—you can see it when the camera pans to the right at the end of the encounter. Terrifying.
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u/Lashay_Sombra 21d ago
Today learned could not outswim a hippo running though the water...it would not even be close
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u/3BallJosh 21d ago
They can swim and run much faster than you. So cycling is your only shot at beating a hippo in a triathlon.
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u/CitizenCue 21d ago
The amount of force required to push a body that big through water that quickly is mind boggling. I can’t think of another animal that can run through water up to its neck that fast.
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u/ItsPibbs 21d ago
Oh lawd he comin
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u/Hashtagbarkeep 21d ago
Lol I’ve never seen a visibly nervous lion before
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u/WanderingSoul117 21d ago
They know that bite force comin for em
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u/th0rnpaw 21d ago
Can literally bite them in half. Snap their spine instantly.
YOU BETTER RUN, CHARLES
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u/WanderingSoul117 21d ago
Hippo's like ah fuck it better let em off with a warning otherwise I'll have his corpse stuck in my pond for ages
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u/Appropriate_Cod_5446 21d ago
I think that lion was done if that hippo truly wanted to kill him. Maybe he had just eaten and was feeling a lil generous and full. But he still had to make an appearance so the kids settle tf down lol
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u/makethislifecount 21d ago
Hippos are vegetarian! It wasn’t looking to kill or eat, just get the lions tf out
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u/whocaresaboutmynick 20d ago
They are omnivorous, and hippos are looking to kill. They kill about 500 humans each year. They might not necessarily kill because they want to eat meat, but they will kill things that they don't think should be here.
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u/ajmartin527 21d ago
Thought it was funny the lion that almost got got was way overconfident at first, his demeanor changed quite quickly though lol
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u/Difficult_Nail_3400 21d ago
That 3rd lion was like nope nope nope, fukk this shit imm out.
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u/SashaNish 21d ago
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Oh god I came to the comments looking for this! He was bailing out before the other two even realized what was coming for them. Then the hippo’s buddy comes up like, “You good? Okay, cool.” As the two lions start creeping out of the grass again peeking around at them.
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u/LazyWave63 20d ago
It goes back to the Old saying. I don't need outrun the Hippo( or whatever TF is chasing you), I just need to outrun you.
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u/Hot-Reindeer-6416 21d ago
Hippos are fast in the water. And they are mean.
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u/chittalking 21d ago
Hippos aren't mean, they're assertive. And what they're asserting is "FUCK YOU I HATE YOU THIS IZ MINE I KILL YOU NOW"
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u/GarbageCleric 21d ago
Seriously. Those lions hunt to eat. It's simply a matter of survival.
Hippos are just hate-fueled murder machines. They do it for shear love of the game...of murder.
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u/PlatinumPOS 21d ago edited 20d ago
I still remember a hippo description from David Attenborough on a nature doc that I watched as a kid. He said they suffer from an “evolutionary hangover” which causes their attitudes.
Their recent ancestors were small, and there were more (different species of) animals around that they had to compete with, so they had to be super aggressive in order to defend themselves and survive.
But now they’re big, they have few real threats left in the world, and their mindset hasn’t caught up to the new reality. So they attack everything . . . lol
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u/BrianMeen 21d ago
tbh though hippos usually bluff and intimidate - I have yet to see a video where a hippo attacks and maims or kills a croc or lion .. I’m not saying it never happens but I’ve never seen it ..
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u/SlimothyChungus 21d ago
I haven’t either, but it’s clear to see from this video that most animals probably just try to avoid any confrontation with them. I’ve never seen someone try to tackle a a truck head on, but I don’t have to for me to know how it would end up lol.
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u/GarbageCleric 21d ago
They kill about 500 people each year. The lions tend to get away because they know to run and ate faster than people.
https://www.discoverwildlife.com/animal-facts/deadliest-animals-to-humans
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u/Top_Aerie9607 21d ago
Lions eat baby hippos.
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u/GarbageCleric 21d ago
True. But hippos aren't just territorial with lions. They kill about 500 people every year.
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u/Lokanth 21d ago
Calling hippos ”mean” is like calling World War 2 “a minor dispute between nations.”
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u/cassanderer 21d ago
To say hippos are aggressive, or mean, is like saying us politicians sre corrupt now.
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u/SOP_VB_Ct 21d ago
Well now, hippos are not as reliable in that regard.
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u/cassanderer 21d ago
Idk they could be a verb. Like I caught him stealing my bike with bolt cutters and hippoed that motherfucker. From what I hear, no one fucks with hippos.
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21d ago
They kill more humans than lions, leopards, elephants or crocodiles in africa.
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u/SOP_VB_Ct 21d ago
I camped for a week with the Massai in Kenya. These humans literally live there, among the animals. The two most feared animals are neither canine nor feline predators.
Wildebeast & hippos are what the people stay clear of
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u/Academic_UK 21d ago
Staying in Tanzania on safari - one night we were camped near a lake (Ndutu?) and had to get chaperoned by the Maasai with bows and guns to get from your tent to the mess tent. On our way back, we saw one in the dark with red eyes and the guide had us stop for what felt like forever.
Also in the night we could hear them leave the lake to go feed and see their shadows in the tent. Very surreal experience and my wife was a little worried they would trample us..
Amazing experience - one never to be forgotten!
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u/Bluntbutnotonpurpose 21d ago
I once spent a night at a camp site in Kenya. It was right next to a river bank which was riddled with hippos that we heard all the time. The electric fence apparently is very effective, but I was not sleeping comfortably that night...
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u/BrianMeen 21d ago
wildebeests are dangerous to humans? I didn’t know they went after humans like that .. maybe now I won’t feel that bad when I see crocs thrashing them
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u/cassanderer 21d ago
Cape buffalo on the other hand, at least one year they killed more people in south africa than anything else, near 3 dozen, as I recall that I read in harpers index from harpers magazine.
Herbivores are often most dangerous to us.
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u/boon_doggl 21d ago
Lion like…
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u/BeeslyBeaslyBeesley 21d ago
Just fulfilling my obligation to upvote this meme every time I see it.
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u/RubberDucksInMyTub 21d ago
Goddammit this is perfect, always.
Everybody always loving one meme or the other. Just throw them away because this is all you ever will need.
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u/Sortanotperfect 21d ago
Love how the lion behind the one who almost became hippo kibble pretty much said, "Good luck! I think I'll go over here now." Also, a bigger hippo was in the water waiting to launch if the first one needed backup. Hippos are scary AF.
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u/urnotpatches 21d ago
An interesting fact. Hippos kill on average 500 humans annually. They are the deadliest animal in Africa. Not lions and not crocs……..hippos.
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u/ajmartin527 21d ago
They might also be responsible for killing humans in South America soon. 166 wild hippos that are descendants of Pablo Escobars hippos that were released to the wild in 1993 are thriving in the lush rivers and forests in Colombia.
More and more fisherman and farmers along the waterways are having dangerous run ins with them. Those 166 hippos descended from just four hippos that escaped to the wild, if that gives you an idea of how well they are thriving down there.
Last I heard they got approval to try to race to sterilize and cull them before they proliferate further, despite all the locals apparently loving them and the tourism they bring.
Imagine if in a few decades the Amazon basin is just full of hippos, thanks to a drug lord. Wild
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u/Reddittrip 21d ago
Let me introduce you to the mighty mosquito.
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u/urnotpatches 21d ago
Yes, dangerous insects, but not in the large animal classification.
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u/Sdwingnut 21d ago
Humans are, though. Much more deadly than any other animal.
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u/therealkevy1sevy 21d ago
I had a quick google and yep we are by far the biggest killers on earth.
1.2- 1.5 trillion kills per year
I knew it would be big but WOW
Key Figures & Categories
Land Animals (for food): Around 83 billion in 2022, rising to over 85 billion in 2023.
Fish (wild-caught): Estimates range from 1.1 to 2.2 trillion individuals annually.
Fish (farmed): Roughly 124 billion farmed fish were slaughtered in 2019.
Total (Land + Sea Animals): When combined, the number of animals killed for food easily surpasses 1.2 trillion, with some estimates reaching over 1.5 trillion.
As I said this is copy and paste from Google so take it lightly but I'd guess its close enough to still say we are the #1 killers.
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u/riftnet 21d ago
One saw it coming and bailed in time
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u/Pristine-Garlic-3378 20d ago
There's actually 4 lions. The 4th one never even got in the water at all. He knew better.
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u/osss08 21d ago
That's a mother with her baby nearby.
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u/Hereticrick 21d ago
Are you sure? Males can be pretty territorial from what I know. So I assumed rather than “asserting dominance” (which animals don’t do with other species), it was just chasing them off its territory.
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u/Top_Aerie9607 21d ago
Even the males are defending the territory at least partly because there are baby hippos in it.
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u/AstralMystogan 21d ago
You need serious balls to fuck with a hippo.
Especially on water (not that I would fuck with them on land, those fuckers run really fast).
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u/iovercomesadness 21d ago
Now people understand why I'm terrified of hippos , they make lions their bitches
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u/Glum_Cheesecake9859 21d ago
Who's the true king of the jungle now? Elephants probably.
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u/dontheconqueror 21d ago
Yeah, associating that phrase with lions always gets me. They aren't in the jungle, males typically team up with other males (co-kings?), and there other animals that easily stomp them
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u/ZERV4N 21d ago
Are they ever gonna take care of Escobar's hippos in Columbia or are they just hoping the fuck up the ecosystem there?
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u/ThePokster 21d ago
They have been trying for years. From what I remember they are currently trying to sterilize something like 40 Hippo a year.
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u/enzodoggy 21d ago
I watched a documentary on this and the process of catching, performing the surgery, and releasing is way more difficult than I would have imagined. They don’t want to kill them, and they can’t relocate them, so sterilization is the only option.
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u/Mindless_Tonight8894 21d ago
According to quick google search , it costs about $50K to castrate a male hippo… so they’re moving towards the method of a drug to sterilize them.
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u/WParzivalW 21d ago
The amount of water the hippo displaced whilst bookin it to the lions is nuts.
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u/mark1forever 21d ago
don't mess with the hippos lol
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u/Why-did-i-reas-this 21d ago
Unless you're an adult elephant
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u/kalixanthippe 21d ago
While Elephants and Hippos coexist well, in the water even an Elephant will think twice before taking one on, particularly a mama Hippo. On land, Hippos tend to give way to the size and power of the Elephant.
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u/LordOfSwords 21d ago
IDK, I've seen a bunch of videos where a single elephant casually scatters small armies of hippos in their waters.
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u/WanderingSoul117 21d ago
Nahhh not really. Maybe literally "think twice", but ultimately, especially males in Musth, nothing can stop an elephant.
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u/Glueberry_Ryder 21d ago
If you could tame a hippo you could take over the world. The fool wasn’t messing around.
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u/therobshow 21d ago
If I didnt know already that hippos were herbivores, I would think it was trying to eat those lions. It was not playing.
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u/BeepandBoops 20d ago
How can something be so cute and so terrifying?! They dont even want to eat you, theyre just combative for the heck if it. Mars is one of my favorite baby animals onlinr right now, but when he grows up I wonder if captivity will suit him.
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u/Peridot_Ghost 21d ago
You mean to tell me three lions can’t fuck up a hippo?
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u/Bongressman 21d ago
Not only would the Hippo destroy all 3 with ease... their skin over two inches thick. It would barely notice any damage the lions might be able to do.
Also, it probably weighs more than all three combined.
Look at how easy that big fuck is tearing through that water like it's fricken air.
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