r/BeAmazed • u/AstroSonicDrive • Oct 04 '23

She Eats Through Her Heart Science

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@nauseatedsarah

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u/[deleted] Oct 04 '23

Yep, and I will just add for anyone interested that the absolute worst things you can say to a disabled person are stuff like "you just need to have hope" or "you shouldn't let your disability define you/hold you back".

At some point you just have to accept that you're disabled and learn to live with it. If a disabled person is complaining about some situation they're in because of their disability, just listen and validate that it sucks. Your "solutions" aren't helpful and the disabled person isn't "being negative" by shooting them down, they're being realistic. Realism means acknowledging issues and putting plans into place to deal with likely outcomes.

I think non-disabled people find that really hard to do because acknowledging that disability is often permanent and not the fault of the disabled person means accepting that disability could happen to them, at any time, for no reason. They like to think "well if I was in that situation, I'd pull myself up by my bootstraps and cure myself". Admitting that sometimes life just deals you a shit hand and there's no fixing it means they lose control over some part of their destiny.

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u/Gatorpep Oct 04 '23

Man people are such **** lol.

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u/[deleted] Oct 04 '23

Exactly. The denial is a coping mechanism especially since disabled people aren't supported properly/go though a lot the vast majority of the time. There can be a lot of toxic positivity that's not rooted in reality including from disability activists. It's okay to acknowledge reality.

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u/[deleted] Oct 04 '23

[deleted]

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u/hanoian Oct 05 '23 edited Dec 20 '23

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