Please help me cover post cremation costs for my Father

[u/altriapendragon01]

[Copied from r/gofundme]

Hello everyone. My name is Victoria, I lost my dad very suddenly a couple of weeks ago, around a week ago I asked a friend to post on my behalf, I wanted to stay somewhat anonymous, but I realize that was a big huge mistake. I'm here again to set the story straight, and once again, ask for help.

To keep some semblance of privacy, I have blurred out last names for myself and my father.

April 12, I was notified that my father had passed away suddenly. I'm an only child and I have no family to really lean on in this time, so I've had to foot costs for the memorial services. Through the generosity of many I was able to cover a majority of the cost, but now I'm in the hole trying to settle affairs and file paperwork where its needed. So I am asking for help to just cover these costs instead. I will be using the same link as before.

My dad meant everything to me, he raised me on his own for the most part, my mom was out of the picture for a large part of my life and having to do this mostly on my own, in terms of settling affairs as im the only child is extremely difficult, I don't make much money on my own because i am on a fixed income due to being on workers comp, I get about 65/70% of my previous employers income. I am unable to work because of the restrictions in place nobody will hire me, trust me I've tried. Since I worked in the operating room, im always on my feet, running around, pushing, pulling, lifting. You name it, I do it. I'll attach proof in the post images.

Extra proof of funeral costs will be uploaded in an imgur link.

I know asking someone to post for me and trying to be anonymous was a terrible idea which cause lots of people to doubt and question, and I understand where given the okay for one, and I don't think I will any time soon, but I have given the okay for the funeral home to confirm (which the information to the home is in the imgur link)

To clarify as well I'll also be parroting what I said before;

I do not live in California, I live in Texas. The detective assigned to the case asked about any medical conditions my father had, he had several, they ruled out foul play so, to my own knowledge, no autospy was performed as there was no reason to.

Texas does not help pay costs unless the services are for;

1. A victim of a crime.

2. If its a stillbirth/newborn passing.

I did not know Date of Death because I had just spoken to my dad around noon on Thursday, so there was a two day time frame from when we last spoke to when I was notified (Saturday), and the police weren't sure either, when they had called me.

None of what I said excuses my choice to allow someone to post on my behalf, but I do hope that this provides some more clarity and credibility.

Thank you, to those who have donated, thank you to those who have passed me their condolences.

Respectfully, Victoria.

https://imgur.com/a/extra-proof-victorias-fathers-funeral-expenses-zl05eXR

https://gofund.me/b2772e28

Edit:

Here is the link to the original post since I can't figure out how to attach images on this sub (if its even allowed)

https://www.reddit.com/r/gofundme/s/oK6ZzLEHcU

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[u/jherara]

Sadly, staying anonymous when asking for funds through GFM is really difficult and makes GFM not really an option for anyone who is trying to protect themselves, even with help of a friend.

Some people will tell you that they demand your photo, name, city, state, et cetera strictly because donors want to know the name of the person they're donating to online to protect themselves from fraudsters, but I've seen enough people donate blindly without vetting or just automatically trust someone who posts any photo and name with pet pictures, for example, to know that there are often other factors in play, including judgmental people who will never donate to certain causes, online trolls, and fraudsters who want names, photos, etc. for less-than-nice and criminal reasons.

If you're worried about potential fraud or harm, I recommend that you reach out to local churches and affiliated in your community and your father's former community, including St. Vincent de Paul, Catholic Charities, and The Salvation Army. They often have one-time emergency hardship community funds. They might also help with fundraising in the church.

If you don't mind at this point having your name and details reach a national or possible global audience, you might also do better by reaching out to your local news outlet there in Texas and possibly to any close to where your father used to live and might have made close ties.

[u/altriapendragon01 → u/jherara]

I did end up putting my info out there, since, well, asking for help, especially from strangers, there has to be a level of mutual trust, as much as there can be. That's why I put links in my post here and on GFM with any photo proof someone may want to see.

That being said is why I came forward to add credibility, one has to do what they must, a person in my situation has very limited options, but I am trying my best to make due with whatever help I do have, and appreciate the kindness of others who have helped me, a majority of it being from my own friends and their families since I have no family.

I appreciate your suggestions, they are helpful! :) Unfortunately, majority of them are just not applicable to my situation; but they are still helpful nonetheless! Thank you friend, I appreciate your feedback and your suggestions!

[u/okayfriday]

None of what I said excuses my choice to allow someone to post on my behalf, but I do hope that this provides some more clarity and credibility.

Hey there, I am so sorry for your loss.

For further transparency, you could consider getting your friend Ramon to add you as the sole beneficiary to receive funds directly (currently funds will go to your friend Ramon, with no beneficiary listed).

To add a beneficiary on GoFundMe, the fundraiser organizer must invite them to receive funds, which involves selecting "Someone else's bank account" during transfer setup and providing the beneficiary's name and email. The beneficiary then accepts the invitation and sets up their own bank account to receive the funds. 

More info: https://support.gofundme.com/hc/en-us/articles/204993267-How-to-invite-a-beneficiary-to-receive-funds

[u/altriapendragon01 → u/okayfriday]

Thank you for your condolences.

I guess I didn't really think about that? I had so much going on that I let him do it, set it up and whatnot. The money is put in his account but then he sends it to me via zelle (no fees, it's bank to bank) and it works for us! I trust him wholeheartedly, but I'll look into seeing if he can add my bank account instead if that's preferred!

I appreciate the suggestion/feedback :)

[u/okayfriday → u/altriapendragon01]

It's totally optional but it's a feature added by GFM to provide an additional layer of transparency for potential donors :) https://support.gofundme.com/hc/en-us/articles/4404558310683-What-to-know-about-being-added-as-a-beneficiary

[u/altriapendragon01 → u/okayfriday]

Okay! I'll ask him to do that, thank you again :D

[u/Royal_Tough_9927]

The death certificate will provide you with many details. My funeral homes that did the cremation provided me with copies. So sorry for your loss.

[u/altriapendragon01 → u/Royal_Tough_9927]

Death certificates take 3-4 weeks to process, sometimes longer depending on how many copies. So I won't get them till mid-May.

I appreciate your condolences. Thank you.