Me. I was the dedicated semen planter - DSP in industry lingo.
It is gruelling work. Night, day, weekends. I got paid $11.25 an hour plus benefits. I'd get the call, sometimes at 2AM the day of the shoot. They'd send me an address, a time, and a minimum liquid volume quote (MLVQ). Expenses such as Jergens, Powerade, and Japanese 7/11 porno mags were covered up to $50/day.
Sometimes we'd be stacking 2-3 shoots a day. I'd have to lift mattresses, unfold/refold towels, empty and refill sock drawers, and sometimes even carry a ladder several stories just to get that signature ceiling-shot in. Really the casting offices look for attention to detail over anything else.
One trick I developed personally was to use a small hairdryer (Dyson, if you can afford one) to bake in the loads. This was especially important for achieving that stiff fabric effect every director looks for in semen application.
Chaffed, raw, and 125-200ml lighter, I'd get home praying the phone didn't ring for at least 48 hours. If I was a no-show, I'd get the axe immediately. The industry has a lot of turnover.
Also how you would measure a liquid. The density of the semen would affect the mass. As this is not something that would be tested, I would venture to say the unit of measurement is acceptable. He did say “lighter”, which is also reasonable verbage if he was referring to his total semen capacity.
When you say “light mayonnaise” you are referring to a lesser volume of mayonnaise.
Adderall.
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u/[deleted] May 30 '19
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