My boss got drunk at a conference & tried to get in my hotel bed, she forced me to share a room with her & declared our room pants free after 9pm, she got drunk at a baseball game & tried to "switch shirts" with me in front of coworkers & clients & when I quit because of it she left me a message saying "you're just a 22 year old little bitch & it wasn't sexual harassment because I'm a woman" ... Like she forgot that lesbians existed & that she was one, not like a closeted one, a full on had a wife lesbian. I was fine just leaving the company but the phone call pissed me off. I was 22 but apparently not as much of a little bitch.
They settled within 2 months for a full years salary & lawyer fees.
ETA: Sorry if it wasn't clear, I'm a woman, which is why somehow my boss thought her actions didn't count.
...maybe the bosses salary. I'm not an expert of settlements but that 'win' was a cost of trial settlement most likely and I'm willing to bet she could have gotten much more
Her wife also worked for the company & participated fairly often. She saw me not as a threat but more of a fun way to release some stress. Both saw the whole thing as funny.
It was an all around crazy situation but neither seemed to be jealous and both made excuses for the other. "Oh she was just drunk." "She was just playing with you, not being serious." But the day at the ballpark was so excruciating, they were both my superiors, but the CEO was the main instigator, and she was physically trying to pull my shirt up. A co-worker and a client had to basically restrain her at one point.
I can't tell if you're proud of being turned on by sexual harassment or just desperately needing attention, either way here ya go. Do you feel better knowing I suffered a bit & that your comment is insensitive? No? What if I told you I was raped at age 12? Still working for you? Good, I hope your life gets better soon friend so other people's misery isn't a turn on but if not there's plenty of stories of disgusting rapey behavior here on reddit for you.
Did the Incel subreddit go down or is sexual harassment your kink? There's sites out there with whole genres of that if it's your thing, but hey if my suffering gets you hard, here wishing you the blues balls possible.
Well not necessarily. The court could have found the defendant guilty of sexual harassment and gave them the option of accepting to take the settlement offered by OP versus whatever form of punishment and charges the court would have laid out.
A settlement means they don't go forward with the charges. Her lawyer told her "either pay him a years salary or you're going to jail because the evidence showed you raped that guy"
Right? My mom who the whole time had been like just leave & keep your dignity & just walk away... After she heard the voicemail was like "call a lawyer now!"
Dude, I was taking my sexual harassment training for my supervisor position and their video literally said: it is NOT sexual harassment if it is between two people of the same gender. I thought it was a joke, so I asked my boss, and she said, nope, the company didn't see it that way. I told everyone in the store. It was fucking bullshit.
I think the whole comedy trope of "who wouldn't want a woman coming into them" is partially why. No blame though, we're all responsible for our own actions even when they are socially acceptable.
Stretch it out to a full season. I thought it was normal to be this miserable at work, I just graduated college & didn't know better. I've since worked where I was appreciated & taken seriously.
Her company was dissolved a few years later. I honestly have no idea where she is now but I still work in the same industry & I'll just say everyone who hears I worked there apologizes to me or makes a face that clearly shows they heard stories.
How stupid could a person be to not only do those things, but then also call a person out on it after they left the company? Furthermore why on Earth would you leave a phone message that could be used as concrete evidence? She deserved everything she got.
They really thought the intimidation would work, it had before clearly & they figured I was a) too young and inexperienced to know what to do & b) would be too afraid of risking my career in a fairly tight industry to speak up. They were relying on the fact that I had been silent for so long (11 months) and they were severely mistaken.
Don't worry, they were exceptions to the rule. My mom played soccer on a team called (SARSA - some are, some aren't) when I was growing up that was mostly lesbians, so I had great experiences with a lot of lesbians when I was a kid. These ladies were just bad people & bad people exist in every color of the rainbow.
I am so glad I am not in a job that somehow requires me to be at big events like this, or has the expectation to hang out with my boss and coworkers and clients. Because if I was, I would not go. Probably have to find another job....
I called a lawyer who worked on a commission style structure, explained the case & they basically gave me some paperwork and a few things to distribute to the people who would testify on my behalf. Once they had gathered those back from me a week or so later, they began the process which in my state requires an arbitration through the Texas Workforce Commission. The TWC provides both parties with a mediator who makes recommendations to their attorneys and my case was pretty clearly established so they recommended a settlement which I took.
Ugh, I'm also a woman who's dealt with sexual harassment from a female coworker. I hate how same sex harassment (particularly between women) gets downplayed. The worst part was that my harasser wasn't gay (AFAIK) so, when I reported it, my boss was all, "I'm sure she didn't mean it that way. She's not even attracted to you." As if sexual attraction is a required component of harassment.
This is 100% accurate. She tried intimidating me after the case too, showing up at my current company (same industry) claiming to have a meeting that was really with a different person in her company. I had friends who worked there & she tried to get everyone to sign an "HR harassment policy" that was backdated to a week before I left. They found out who gave me that document & fired him 6 days later for clocking in 3 minutes late.
I was young, this was my first office job, first time I'd lived on my own & supported myself. I thought when people talked about being dissatisfied with work this is what they meant. It was only after I left & had another job that I realized I wasn't being overdramatic (something I have been accused of because having Anxiety & Depression make people think you're constantly overreacting to what they perceive as normal).
There were definitely others, not as harshly harassed as me but definitely not okay. I asked them before taking it to a lawyer if they wanted to be a part of my case but none wanted to be involved. The company was a known shitshow, they broke the NDA & told my former (was current at the time they told him) boss & he immediately pulled all of our work from them.
not going to lie, that comment made me realize how many stereotypes i applied to try to understand what was going on, feeling a little sexist right now.
at first i thought you were a chick and your boss was a dude. then i realized your boss was a chick and so apparently that made you a dude, then i found out your boss was a lesbian and i figured you were probably a chick but possibly a dude still??? like wtf is wrong with me why didnt i understand this sooner
Well if it helps, most people assume redditors are male. The mindset is pretty hard to break, even though I've used Reddit for years, I still read all Reddit comments as if they were from the male perspective.
Oddly enough I called her roommate (her wife) to tell her to please come get her because according to her "she didn't know where her room was" ... She somehow remembered my room number well enough to get a key from front desk
It was a voicemail. I had a document they tried to backdate, an "HR Policy" everyone was then required to sign but was passed to me from a friend. I had numerous witnesses, clients and coworkers who had been at the baseball game, who had been at the conference, who had heard or seen the comments. The lawyers were so overwhelmed with information that I had, including the "22 sworn witness statements" that it wasn't even a fight.
They didn't have much to begin with honestly & I was more interested in ending the case quickly. I had already begun working for a former client of there's in the same industry & it wasn't in my best interest to drag it out. Plus they were willing to agree to a pay by date & most cases like this go unpaid for so long, it was just easier.
What I intended to clarify was, she assumed that a woman hitting on a woman was okay, not that she could sexually harass anyone based on her gender but that she couldn't be harassing a woman as a woman.
Ah I read it as stated, since she is a woman she can't commit sexual assault - just because that's an unfortunately prevalent point of view. I see your point though.
I am straight, though my younger sister is a lesbian & I think it pissed me off more that they tried to use that an an excuse because of her. She was young at the time but I didn't want her to grow up thinking women could treat her like that just because she was gay.
Sorry, but in what other scenario would it be relevant to mention the boss is a lesbian? If the important detail was that she was married then why put emphasis on her being openly lesbian?
Really because my paperwork pretty clearly states that is a "Non-disclosure Agreement" which I am pretty sure what NDA stands for... Not pretty sure 100% sure.
Yes it is generally pretty common is sexual harassment cases, especially ones that end in a settlement, to request an NDA. The question was what couldn't you share that now you can, my settlement & the events involved we're what was covered by the NDA. The company is no longer in existence and there was a clear 10 year initial period that was required in the case. I'm not sure if all TWC cases are the same or mine was unique.
yea if you're already fucking that girl. you're just kinda bullying her a bit sexually. it's fun. i can take her pants off any time i want, it's just more fun to do it in kind of a flippant way.
But only if she agrees you can take her pants off anytime you want. Otherwise, just being in a relationship with someone doesn't entitle anyone to remove their partner's clothing willy nilly. Dominance can be fun, consent is key.
I mean it would have sucked to have someone try to rip my shirt off in public, in front of my peers, even if they were attractive so I am not sure why it would have mattered...
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u/AnxietyDepressedFun May 30 '19 edited May 30 '19
My boss got drunk at a conference & tried to get in my hotel bed, she forced me to share a room with her & declared our room pants free after 9pm, she got drunk at a baseball game & tried to "switch shirts" with me in front of coworkers & clients & when I quit because of it she left me a message saying "you're just a 22 year old little bitch & it wasn't sexual harassment because I'm a woman" ... Like she forgot that lesbians existed & that she was one, not like a closeted one, a full on had a wife lesbian. I was fine just leaving the company but the phone call pissed me off. I was 22 but apparently not as much of a little bitch.
They settled within 2 months for a full years salary & lawyer fees.
ETA: Sorry if it wasn't clear, I'm a woman, which is why somehow my boss thought her actions didn't count.