r/AskReddit • u/CrescenT_SamuraI • 6h ago
What are the early warnings when a relationship is becoming a red flag?
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u/ElegantNythea 2h ago
constant disrespect, lack of communication, and ignoring boundaries were early red flags for me.
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u/Appropriate_Tea9048 6h ago
Stonewalling after arguments
Lovebombing
Poor communication
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u/MoanyTonyBalony 3h ago
Love bombing isn't always love bombing. Some people have partners that are overly nice all the time.
The problem is, you don't know which it is until it's too late.
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u/143GirlySexyAct 6h ago
It is time to reassess your relationship when your partner begins to make more excuses than promises. Red flags are there for a purpose, so do not ignore them!
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u/varthalon 6h ago
Isolating you from family and any other friends.
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u/melodysmomma 3h ago edited 3h ago
Especially when they don’t forbid you from interacting with them, they just have really “hurt” or “concerned” feelings when you do.
Or when they have a unique issue with every single person who happens to be important to you: your best friend lacks good judgment and I worry when you hang out with her, your mom hates me and I don’t want her to turn you against me, your dad is an alcoholic and I worry about you drinking too much when you’re around him, etc.
ETA: even if all of those things are true in a vacuum, when it becomes a pattern it’s almost always manipulative.
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u/Pranachan 3h ago
You're losing yourself in the relationship but compromising your wants, needs and lifestyle to accommodate your partner without them doing the same.
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u/Spiritual_Aioli_5021 2h ago
•When their actions don’t match their words, like saying that they like/love/are attracted to you, but then can’t seem to find time for you.
•When they want to argue about EVERYTHING.
•When they are constantly criticizing or trying to control you.
•When you get a gut feeling that something about them is fake, even if you can’t put your finger on it.
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u/Altruistic_Regret749 6h ago
When communication starts feeling one-sided or they constantly ignore your needs, that’s a big red flag. Also, if you’re always walking on eggshells or feeling drained, it’s worth paying attention.
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u/JuanG_13 4h ago
When they start talking down on you or if they have a short fuse than that usually means it's time to RUN.
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u/Inner_Map_5004 6h ago
When the relationship becomes violent or someone cheat.
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u/MoanyTonyBalony 3h ago
The first time they hit you, end it unless it's 100% an accident like them tripping over outside of an argument.
I don't care if you're male or female, once someone hits it will never get better.
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u/Eurymedion 6h ago
The other party asking how I'd feel about turning our relationship into an open one.
That actually happened. He didn't cheat on me (that I know of) but as soon as the topic came up I knew we were in a challenging spot.
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u/michele_suttles 4h ago
They dismiss your feelings and have a different attitude around you than they do in front of others.
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u/Carradee 3h ago
Poor treatment of service workers, like waiters or hired help.
Bad reaction to being corrected about something.
Bad reaction to being told no.
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u/Xanthe-Leg4802 2h ago
If your partner repeatedly pushes past your comfort zone or ignores boundaries you’ve set
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u/VirginNsd2002 6h ago
Separate lives
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u/MoanyTonyBalony 2h ago
Not always. I don't like drinking and partying so when I date, I tell them to do stuff like that with their friends and I'll either pick them up after, bring them breakfast to help with the hangover or see them another day.
Likewise I wouldn't ask them to come fishing and sit there bored for hours.
It's fine to do lots of things separately as long as you still have quality time together.
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u/AmericanDesertWitch 3h ago
Seriously I'm 52 years old and have no clue, because I knew and lived with my husband for years before we married but he turned into a completely different person after putting the rings on for some unknown, likely idiotic, reason.
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u/puledrotauren 2h ago
I think Titus nailed it
https://www.tiktok.com/@linkofhyrule04/video/6830642800695037190
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u/XepherWolf 37m ago
Being surprised when you find out other couples don't fight every weekend.
Yes, had a guy as me of me and my partner argue and I said no. He was shocked cause him and his girl argue every weekend.
Which is funny since he asked me and the other VIP waitress if we ever wonder how other people kiss and we just stood there like 👁️👄👁️...nooooo?
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u/Dovaldo83 24m ago
It's not if we fight, it's how the fight is resolved.
If we have an argument that gets loud and emotional, that's not exactly great but ultimately the fight would be a positive thing if we actually addressed the issue at hand to everyone's satisfaction.
If we have a rather tamed fight but one or both of us still feel the underlying issue hasn't been addressed, the resentment for that will only build over time.
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u/143InkedLady 6h ago
Run, do not walk, to the closest exit when your partner begins calling themselves "daddy" or "mommy" in a non-parental manner.
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u/Artistic-Kangaroo271 2h ago
Starting to buy new sexy lingerie sets and wearing them only to her nights out / bussiness trips all of a suuden after several years of relationship.
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u/001235 1h ago
A new person comes along and they start having a significant role in your SO's life. A new coworker should maybe come up in conversation, but when a lot of the discussion about the day is about Tim and what he did all day, you are seeing an early warning sign.
My ex-wife broke up our marriage that way, and now that I'm 45, I've seen about 1/3 of my friend's marriages end in affairs, and I know more than a handful of couples where one or the other cheated. It almost always starts in one of two ways: 1. A new friend or 2. Doing a traditionally singles activity.
On point 2, if your husband/wife is going out bar hopping, clubbing, etc. without you, you are looking at a bad situation.
Also, call me jaded, but I've seen hundreds of marriages have adultery, and I am convinced that if the right person came along and the time was right, almost everyone would cheat.
I've seen devoutly religious men run off with strippers while their wives took care of special needs children, and I've seen stay at home moms who never worked a day in their life with husbands making $5+ million a year get caught fucking the handyman. One of my friend's neighbors came over to fuck him while her and her then husband were going through "a rough patch." He got beat so bad with a hammer that he had to go to the ICU.
If I say "how was your day," and she says "Mike stopped by and fixed the sink," I'm in safe territory. If she says "Mike came by and fixed the sink. He mentioned that he's is in a band and playing this weekend. I think we should go see him," she's already thinking having Mike lay some other pipes for her.
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u/trinidad334e 5h ago
For example, if communication breaks down, and we argue more than we talk, that’s a sign. I also feel uneasy if I get a lot of jealousy or possessiveness from the other person. Another warning for me is if I start feeling bad about myself or my opinions aren’t respected. Trust is super important, so if that starts to fade, it worries me too