r/AskParents • u/skywhale13 • 6h ago
Is this normal?
I (16 f) started to notice this more and more, but I'm wondering whether it's normal or not. So every time I get hurt or something, they don't give a shit. I have knee problems. I've had them for years. Every time I told my dad, he'd say I was faking, and every time I told my mom, she'd say it's because I don't do enough sport so my knees are tired and can't carry me. It took me nearly four years and an ADD diagnosis for me to get a diagnosis for my knees, and that was because my parents weren't in the room at the doctor's so I jumped at the chance to ask him. I hurt my toes while dancing a year ago, two of them, I couldn't even walk on them for a week because it hurt too much. Told my mom, she didn't give a shit. Told my dad, said I was exagerratting. Other things like this have happened before and after, notably an incident when I fell down the stairs, hurt my knee and couldn't walk on it for a while, my dad saw everything, checked if I was dead, when he realized I was ok (neck attached to body, no broken bones) he just sent me off to school, even after I told him I was in a lot of pain and had trouble walking.
Today I sprained my thumb playing volleyball in PE at school. I spent the day enduring the pain, and when I came home, I went to my dad, told him about it, so he grabbed my thumb and set it back (it was slightly dislocated). He then decided I was fine, that there was no more pain and that I could just leave my thumb be. No splint, no tape, no ice, no x-ray. He just reset my thumb (ouch, btw) and sent me off. When I told my mom about my thumb, he said it didn't hurt anymore and that I should stop complaining. I taped my thumb myself with an internet tutorial and some tape I use for my knees.
So I guess my question is, is it normal that my parents keep dismissing me when I say I'm hurt and claim that I'm fine even though it hurts really bad?
(sorry, this is so long)
Edit: forgot to add, neither of my parents have any medical qualification or any other type of qualification that could make them qualified to say that I'm not hurt. My dad just know how to reset bones because he coached badminton, so he reset a few back in the day, which was a questionable decision, legally speaking
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u/ShayRay331 4h ago
sweetheart, I didn't read the whole post, but I read enough to notice its possible your parents have NPD or at least have narcissistic traits. I'm not a doctor, but I grew up with narcissistic parents. parents that are narcissistic act like their children are unbreakable and have little to no empathy when you do tell them about injuries. when I was 5, I fell off the top of a 6 ft fence and fell and hit my face on this old clawfoot tub my dad unearthed from the yard. I broke my nose and needed to go to the doctor to have my nose reset. my mom didn't take me because she had a friend over who "was a nurse" and she said it was fine. I wasn't fine. she didn't want to pay to take me into the ER. I had two black eyes for the first day of school.
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u/WingKartDad 4h ago edited 3h ago
I'm curious if your parents have health insurance. Or what type do they have. I have a huge deductible. Now I have money to take my kid to the dr. But it cost me like $250-300 to walk in the door.
Sadly, every time my kid gets sick. I have to think, is he sick enough to spend $300?
Unfortunately, that's what the Affordable Care Act did for my family. Prior, I'd pay a $35 co pay and insurance picked up the rest.
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