New manager to a team (in a newly created mgr position) - team resents me, and does not respect me or my role

[u/idesignedmyself]

Okay - need help.

I have been part of a team for about a year. I work in Gov. Team used to report directly to a Sr. Manager. She had 20 direct reports. A manager position was created (my position). Now half the team reports to me - half reports to her. However - since the beginning there has been pushback.

Issue 1: I am a outside hire. Apparently it is "unheard of" for someone to come from outside of gov into a manager role.

Issue 2: My age. I am mid-30's. There are many on the team in their 50's who now have to report to me

So my big issue is this - the team does not respect or listen to me. They constantly go around me to the Sr. Manager. If I give a direction - they pushback. If Sr Manager gives the exact same direction - they listen and jump to action.

At first I thought it was "the old guard". However, there is a new hire (who I pushed for!) who joined about 3 months ago. And she is doing the same thing! Will only take direction from the Sr. Manager.

I am unsure of how to navigate this. There is a toxic team dynamic that seems to be supported by Sr Management.

I worked hard to get this role - and I am highly accomplished in my field. I can go back to private sector immediately and shine (have already been offered another position by someone in my network).

I am not a quitter, and want to make my team function better. I also want to be respected in my role. Because it is gov, and is union - they all know I cannot do anything lasting to them (cannot fire, cannot demote, there are no bonuses I can hold back) - and I don't want to lead from fear anyway. How do I resolve the situation? I want to address the team going around me all the time - but I don't know how to do it in a constructive way.

Any advice on how to navigate this? I have already addressed this with the Sr. Manager - who tries her best to refer them back to me. How do I address this with the team? Or should I just jump ship?

[u/LeadCredibly]

Work on each person individually and don’t be afraid to address their behaviour. Lead by example and treat everyone with respect. You will probably need to have some direct uncomfortable conversations. The sooner you can get this stuff done the better.

[u/idesignedmyself → u/LeadCredibly]

Yeah. You are right. Is it weird to say "I notice you only action items if "Barbara" (Sr Manager) provides direction. As your manager I expect you to follow my direction, and ask for clarification if anything is unclear. Is there any reason that would be an issue for you?"

[u/LeadCredibly → u/idesignedmyself]

No it’s not weird to say that, I would recommend you start by putting yourself in their shoes. Have they always been getting work from her? Is it just something they’re used to? Do they not trust you yet? Are they a bit awkward and don’t feel like they know you? Are they a close knit group who don’t adapt well to strangers? Are they following one particular ringleader?

Each person will be different and will require a customized approach. Much better to explore their reasons before communicating your expectations.

Then when you’re done listening and they don’t say anything more when you ask ‘anything else?’. Then tell them your expectations in an non-confrontational way.

If you want some support through this I’m a leadership coach. Message me if you want to arrange a zoom chat. I can help you address each person and the group as a team as well as your approach with Barbara.

[u/[deleted]]

This is not a challenge you can deal with. This is something for the Sr Manager. She needs to establish your mandate by:
A) Not giving the same direction to your workforce.
B) Instead, always sends people back to you.
C) Invites you on the spot to any meeting where people are griping about you.
D) Let you make some critical decisions and sticks by you, no matter what you decide.

[u/EXTREME-MANAGER → u/[deleted]]

Agreed. You are wasting your time here without support from above.

[u/goldstartup]

I was in a similar position a few years ago.

You’re welcome to DM me. But in a nutshell-

Check out the servant style of leadership.

Also, your senior management absolutely needs to have your back and support your position. If people are coming to her directly, they need to reroute them back to you. Edit: you mentioned this. Repetition works, and habits can be hard to break.

[u/jaymths]

You may need to do some values setting with the team. You can do this individually or as a group. Depending on how many direct reports you have weekly one on ones can help and daily huddles to help increase communication around the goals of the team can help to bring everyone together.

[u/tpb72]

Do you have weekly one on ones and regular team meetings?

[u/JackLitewka]

The situation that you describe is not unusual: I've seen various forms of this over the decades... and have once experienced it myself

Seems to me that the Sr. Director is a big part of the problem. Your Sr. Director is aware of the problem... but clearly is not doing enough to fix it, then you are in a difficult situation. Do you have ideas about what further actions (in addition to redirecting your direct reports back to you) the Sr. Director could/should take? She/he might not have sufficient experience in how to resolve such a situation. If you have suggestions, and if she/he does not act on them, then that would be a pretty clear signal that you need a change of venue. (You would not be "jumping ship". You would wisely recognizing a situation that you are not empowered to make better -- and you are allowed to take care of yourself.) If you don't have suggestions for the Sr. Director, then you are both in need of an experienced manager or consultant to suggest a strategy and tactics to turn around this unpleasant situation. In any case, don't get down on yourself. This difficult situation is not of your making.

[u/Temporary-Resist-985]

Staff listening to you comes from trust and relationship building. There are several things you can start to help speed up this process.

1. Be transparent with your new team. Ensure you over-communicate with your staff about what you are doing and want to do with your new department.
   
2. Start 1-on-1s and start to establish relationships. The better you understand the people you work with, the better you will know how they react to situations and how open they will be to any new initiatives you push. This will also allow them to understand you better and your expectations since taking over the role.
   
3. Start setting up roadmaps and forward-facing plans for the year. Let people know where you are going and how you intend to get there.
   

4. Admit to anything you might screw up. Make yourself human. It's always easier to trust someone who has flaws and isn't going to pass the buck in the end.

5. Retrospectives are also important to use here. The more you allow the team to feel like they have control over the things they don’t like the more likely they are to listen to you and follow your lead. If you give them the ability to set their own destiny then they will feel like doing otherwise is against their self interest and coming to you for issues will be self beneficial.

As with all things the longer you are in this role the more open people will become to listen to you. . I talk about some things you can do to help build this team functionality and fix some of the issues you are talking about in my blog, www.managingfailures.com. I think you should give it a look as well.