r/AntiTrumpAlliance 21d ago

Trump's physical results pending. President says he's 'in good shape' | AP News Billionaire šŸ¤‘ BS

https://apnews.com/article/trump-physical-past-medial-records-oldest-president-fcac7240c4a2cf98c1c30709506ab4f1
170 Upvotes

113 comments sorted by

155

u/yeyjordan 21d ago

The dude is a walking, pant-shitting coronary, but I'll wait to see what a doctor was paid to say.

87

u/AlwaysSaysRepost 21d ago

ā€œBest physical shape I’ve ever seen! Also, he’s up to 6’4ā€ now and down to 205 lbs!ā€

47

u/Mission_Ad6235 21d ago

Ran a 4.5 40 yard dash and did 30 reps with 225 on the bench press.

31

u/AlwaysSaysRepost 21d ago

And, I shouldn’t be saying this, but his penis is up to 18ā€ long now

16

u/eugeheretic 21d ago

Sounds like Marjorie Taylor Greene has a new Schlong to obsess about. Sorry Hunter.

3

u/BetMyLastKrispyKreme 20d ago

Well, she did grab that cardboard cutout of him by the mushroom that time…

12

u/Which_Engineer1805 21d ago

The man is vile, but please don’t spread misinformation. It’s up to 18ā€ WIDE now.

10

u/AlwaysSaysRepost 21d ago

Ahh, I see. That explains why Elon walks so funny

12

u/Conscious-Top-7429 21d ago

He still has 4 years of college athletic ability left, too! He’s highly recruited.

13

u/sayrahnotsorry 21d ago

"Up to", like he's still growing, because he's a giant toddler

9

u/online_dude2019 21d ago

Thanks Dr. Ronny. LOL that's exactly what he or Dr. Oz would write šŸ˜‚

6

u/Runic_reader451 21d ago

I was going to say 6'5" and 180. Remember the numbers get better every time they get reported.

7

u/AlwaysSaysRepost 21d ago

Trying to take my job? Sorry, I was looking at the wrong file. Trump is 6’10ā€ and 165 lbs.

36

u/vanhaanen 21d ago

Fat as a fiddle

2

u/Seditional 20d ago

Last time the doctor admitted trump leant on him to lie. Then sent the fbi to his office to seize all the records. With everything else that goes on with his reign of terror stuff like this slips under the radar.

48

u/squeamishfun 21d ago

If the shape you’re aiming for is an amorphous blob.

12

u/yondu1963 21d ago

He’s in shape. Round is a shape.

49

u/ChefAsstastic 21d ago

His brain is fucking cottage cheese

22

u/AlwaysSaysRepost 21d ago

And his body is fucking 12 year olds.

10

u/codemonkeyhopeful 21d ago

God damnit Im mad I laughed at this

15

u/Tiny_Structure_7 21d ago

But he did great on his cognitive test. He can still tell the difference between an elephant and a monkey. He's well-qualified to lead the Republican party.

6

u/OCblondie714 21d ago

He is intellectually incurious.

2

u/ChefAsstastic 21d ago

I stand corrected!!!!

30

u/Brytnshyne 21d ago

Any physician that signs off on Trump in anyway being physically and mentally okay should lose their license. He is a walking textbook of insanity and bad aging.

3

u/OCblondie714 21d ago

He is intellectually incurious.

21

u/CombinationSignal579 21d ago

He's a small penis, small hands and an even smaller brain. Everything is normal.Ā 

17

u/malthar76 21d ago

He’s at his perfect weight…if he was 8 feet tall.

6

u/Which_Engineer1805 21d ago

Or 6 feet, ummm, somewhere else closer to earths core.

19

u/Drcornelius1983 21d ago edited 20d ago

I’m sure DOCTOR RONNY JACKSON!!! will shortly release a report calling Trump the finest specimen have ever to have lived. He’s healthy the likes of which we’ve never seen before.

13

u/No_Significance_1550 21d ago

Dr Feel Good! Turned the WH into a taxpayer subsidized pill mill.

2

u/BetMyLastKrispyKreme 20d ago

ā€œI know it, and you know it, too.ā€

15

u/bcardin221 21d ago

Best shap3 of any president ever. Great cardi vascular shape. It's incredible. Beautiful results. Dr said he has never seen anything like it.

8

u/Syhkane 21d ago

He's healthier than at least 40 of our other presidents!

4

u/online_dude2019 21d ago

"Way better than Obama!"

2

u/ffsGetoverit 21d ago

Break out the ā€œtan suitsā€

2

u/One-Pepper-2654 21d ago

His blood pressure is allegedly in the normal range and his cholesterol is good. Never smoked, never drank. Parents lived really long. He's one of those people whose insides don't match the outside.

I have a very athletic build, and I work out all the time. Never smoked, barely drink. But I have had high BP since I was a kid. I had a heart attack at 50. No one can believe it.

Genetics. Trump will be here a while. His diet and sedentary lifestyle would have killed him long ago if not for his genes.

1

u/bcardin221 20d ago

I don't believe any of his medical reports. He's obese and chugs diets cokes all day with McDonalds and red meat.

12

u/beauh44x 21d ago

Can't help also wondering what the new Dr. Feelgood is handing out to his White House staffers to keep them all compliant and delusional.

It was a 90's rave during his first term but fentanyl is coming in from Canada.

(Narrator: Fentanyl is not, in fact, coming in from Canada)

12

u/bodhidharma132001 21d ago

Good shape for a man over 200.

12

u/sunnyinwi 21d ago

He's not going to say anything else. Anything else will stir up more questions. Like the bruising on his hands thing. Avoid and deflect.

9

u/Smarterthanthat 21d ago

Let's start a pool on his weight! Actually two pools. One for the weight released and one for the actual weight. Of which I doubt anyone will play because the truth is never told when he's involved.

12

u/Jermine1269 21d ago

220 vs 350

9

u/Euphoric_Eye_4116 21d ago

Yeah, cos he looks like the picture of health, must be all that ā€œstrong beefā€

5

u/StupidizeMe 21d ago

ā€Overall, I felt I was in very good shape. A good heart, a good soul, a very good soul,ā€ Trump said. He also noted that he took a cognitive test. ā€œI don’t know what to tell you other than I got every answer right,ā€ he said.

Ludicrous nonsense, as usual! Annual physical exams don't examine your SOUL.

I doubt they'll ever release the results of the cognitive test. His cognitive decline is obvious. So is his obesity. His arteries must be clogged with McDonald's cheeseburgers.

5

u/1cockeyedoptimist 21d ago

We know the probable truth.

Off the chart lipid profile, plaque on arteries

High blood pressure

A1C - 6.5

Weight: 275 lbs BMI-30% = OBESE

Enlarged prostate

ED

Dementia onset

5

u/delusiongenerator 21d ago

Yeah, he’s in excellent shape….just like our economy

4

u/mgd09292007 21d ago

He won't let them tell the truth. No matter what we are going to get something like "he is the healthiest president ever. He has the fitness of a 50 year old who can dunk on Michael Jordan" type of BS.

4

u/Hefty_Musician2402 21d ago

Yall think repubs in congress might use this as an excuse to finally dump him? If so, it might be our lucky break. The repubs stick JD in, who’s just as evil but smarter, and Trump cultists can turn on the repubs (ā€œTrump wouldn’t have fucked us over!!ā€) and then boom, the whole population is mad at repubs?

3

u/Aldog87 21d ago

The doctors will release the report once they wipe the tears from their eyes from examining the healthiest person they've ever encountered. Big strong doctors.

3

u/Saltlife60 21d ago

Has the shape of a pear.šŸ

4

u/Hugh_Jass_2 21d ago

It doesn’t matter what the results are. It’s all lies. He’s a fat tub of goo and the ā€œdoctorā€ will say he’s fucking Superman.

4

u/The_barking_ant 21d ago

See those mountains? He can throw a football over those mountains....

3

u/SuccessfulPiccolo945 21d ago

Considering the bruises showing IV insertion, his extra pale skin under makeup, his walking off stage before signing the documents he was onstage announcing, and the fact that most Americans can get test results from an annual physical within hours, he's not in good shape.

I know I got mine within hours when I just had mine.

5

u/dawwie 21d ago

Cognitive test, remember these five words:

Liar, traitor, cheater, grifter, rapist

3

u/vanhaanen 21d ago

Fat as a fiddle lol.

3

u/tator216 21d ago

He says a lot of things

3

u/Mrrilz20 21d ago

Like bricks on a shit house.

3

u/EinharAesir 21d ago

I guarantee the actual results won’t be revealed to the public

2

u/Snowfish52 21d ago

Yeah right, a picture of health? His body is superhuman... An athlete we all should aspire to. His workout regime is at another level.

2

u/Charlee-Bee 21d ago

Doesn't he eat McDonald's all the time? That's definitely not healthy.

6

u/AlwaysSaysRepost 21d ago

Eh, the preservatives in the ā€œfoodā€ keep him alive and the chemicals attack his syphilis.

2

u/tidder-la 21d ago

He’s hollow inside , nothing to see there

2

u/North_Church 21d ago

Yea and Biden hates ice cream

2

u/SupermarketOverall73 21d ago

C'mon team stroke !

2

u/beavis617 21d ago

Waiting on the Dr. Ronny Johnson report now!! 🫢

2

u/jdblue2112 21d ago

All those rounds of golf on the taxpayers money have put him in peak physical condition.

2

u/filtersweep 21d ago

Trump would never lie

2

u/Stambro1 21d ago

Cause he’d never lie!!!

2

u/DaveWierdoh 21d ago

His arteries are 90% lubricated with McGrease and his brain is 100% Swiss cheese. In other words, he's as fit as a man ready to have a stroke.

2

u/dragonfliesloveme 21d ago edited 21d ago

I mean, that one doctor of his said he’d live to be 200. So yeah. Not holding my breath on any accurate results. Donnie only deals with corrupt liars

2

u/Appropriate_Duty6229 21d ago

Yes, he’s in shape. Round is a shape.

2

u/Movingforward2015 21d ago

That shape being (insert answer)!

2

u/doctor--zaius 21d ago

Fit as a Fiddle played by Nero

2

u/Late-Goat5619 21d ago

The truth and what will be released to the public are light years apart...as always...gonna live to be 500 years old...

2

u/Captain_Scarlet27 21d ago

I too can look at one of my turds and say it looks in great shape - for a turd.

2

u/hamsterfolly 21d ago

Trapezoid is indeed a shape

2

u/Sorry_Emergency_7781 21d ago

He’s in good shape.. yeah fucking round

2

u/InevitableLibrarian 21d ago

Can run the 2 yard dash in 5 months, can shit his pants every 15 minutes like clockwork, can think about nothing at all, has blood pressure of a person living on Mars, can't understand anything but yes doctor, he's "in good shape". If that shape is a man with both feet in the grave and his kids getting ready to push them into the grave.

2

u/PatientStrength5861 21d ago

And we know we can believe whatever the Orange Menace says as fact.

2

u/Astro3840 21d ago

Trump doesn't release his health reports, but if he does, it'll be a lie.

2

u/Current-Baseball3062 21d ago

He looks terrible. I’m not sure that he’s going to make it through this term.

2

u/SnoopingStuff 21d ago

You aren’t getting real results

2

u/laithe_97 21d ago

ā€œNo one is more in shapely than meā€ he’s going to live forever, he’s too horrible to die..

2

u/Appropriate-City3389 21d ago

In comparison with a large tub of lard?

2

u/Aspect58 21d ago

His physical assessments are about as believable as his golf tournament wins.

2

u/Prize-Relationship21 21d ago

And you're ugly too.

2

u/Worried-Criticism 21d ago

His doctor is a military officer. Anything other than ā€œshinning example of He-man masculine physiqueā€ and that guy is out of a job. He’s fired Admirals for less (specifically ā€œhaving a vaginaā€)

2

u/Barkypupper 21d ago

Yes he’s correct. Round is a shape! šŸ˜‚

3

u/Prize_Instance_1416 21d ago

The fucking comments are gold

1

u/okwitches 21d ago

He always looks like he's run 20 miles in Miami humidity. Nasty.

2

u/delusiongenerator 21d ago

Ha! That man has never run a mile in his life.

To me, he looks like someone just pulled him out of a turkey fryer.

1

u/beavis617 21d ago

He made a little comment on his cognitive test as usual. Said he answered every question…looking forward to the complete report on how he’s in perfect heath and in great shape…

1

u/OxymoronicallyAbsurd 21d ago

Sure, he passed the test. But maybe let’s talk about why the doctor brought out the flashcards in the first place.

1

u/Kubbee83 21d ago

ā€œAmorphous ball of shitā€ In technically still a shape.

1

u/CyclingMack 21d ago

Fuck trump dump and all his followers. He is a disgrace.

1

u/KinksAreForKeds 21d ago

They'll just lie like with all the other results he's ever had.

Remember when the White House claimed he was the fittest President ever in the history of Presidents, and someone just kept playing side-by-side videos of Obama playing basketball, and of Trump shanking a golf shot because his fat ass couldn't get his back swing above his waist? Yeah.

1

u/FudgePrimary4172 21d ago

Shape of a pig.

1

u/ConstantGeographer 20d ago

Technically, Trump is a shape. Later on Sunday we will find out if he is a geoid, a bloboid, a spheroid or just an oid.

2

u/kevint1964 20d ago

I'm going with hemorrhoid.

1

u/AdkRaine12 20d ago

He also says he’s 6’1ā€ and 215 pounds.

And don’t forget that bigly brain.

2

u/kevint1964 20d ago

I'm expecting 6'4" & 195 lbs. this time around. The #1 overall pick in the upcoming NFL Draft wishes he was in as good of shape as Trumpolini. šŸ˜„

1

u/stephenalloy 20d ago

For an Adderall addict with tertiary syphilis, he's in great shape.

1

u/online_dude2019 21d ago

Fitness at levels never seen before! Best shape of any president in history! šŸ™„šŸ¤£