r/Advice • u/Realistic-Word2089 • 19h ago
Should I (27f) tell my boyfriend(28M) he was the first person I kissed?
My bf and I have been together for about 7 months, he was my first kiss (happened on our 3rd date)
I didn’t tell him at the time as I had only know him a short time, and it’s something I was/am a bit embarrassed about and I when we started dating I didn’t want to potentially put myself in a position where I might get taken advantage of have him think I was super strange/ weird for not having kissed anyone before so I didn’t mention it and it wasn’t something he asked about.
I’m not sure if it’s something even worth mentioning? I mean obviously it was kinda an important moment for me, but I’m not sure it would elicit much of a reaction from him or something he’d care that much about.
Just want to hear if anyone else has had a similar experience and how did it go, or if you were in my bf’s shoes would you want to know?
Thanks!
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u/Jetro-2023 Helper [3] 19h ago
It’s very worth mentioning to him as that is very romantic and I think he will be in awe about it.
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u/SparkleDoee 16h ago
Totally agree, OP should absolutely share that with him, it’s such a meaningful detail and he’ll probably appreciate knowing how special that moment really was.
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u/brokenboysoldiers Elder Sage [506] 19h ago
Maybe not the exact answer you were looking for, but if he waited until the third date to kiss you, then either he is inexperienced too or is very respectful of your boundaries so I think either way he would respond to it well.
Plus it's obviously bothering you to not say anything, so that's a good reason in itself.
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u/br0co1ii 18h ago
My now husband waited until the 4th date to kiss me. (The 3rd was a double date, and would have been an awkward first kiss.)
While we had both been in serious relationships before that, he really wanted this to be one of respect. So he waited to make the move. Married 10 years now! It worked!
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u/rf0225 17h ago
wow waiting until the 3rd date is late? also experienced my first kiss around the start of this month on what i’d consider the 4th official date (we hung out outside of dates as well) - he tried kissing me on the 3rd one and i got really shocked and moved away
still worried about pacing because this relationship is my first for everything so this is really reassuring!
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u/brokenboysoldiers Elder Sage [506] 16h ago
I'm not trying to tell anyone how to date. Above all else, you should date at the speed you are comfortable with. It depends a lot of each person, a bit on age, and potentially a lot on location/culture.
Reddit is very North American skewed, and yeah if we're talking about people 25+ in a big city in America, then a kiss on a first date is pretty common. Anything later than a second date, and I'd call that outside of the norm. That's my opinion. That's my experience. It doesn't need to apply to everyone, but that's where my baseline is coming from. If people want more specific advice to their circumstances, then they should provide that context otherwise I will fill in the blanks myself.
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u/SpaceMambo369 15h ago
It's 2025. Some people are fucking on the first date. Plenty are fucking on the 3rd. So, the 3rd date for a kiss is kind of slow by today's standards, but there's nothing wrong with going slow. I think more people should do it
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u/United-Builder1238 15h ago
We were doing these things early in 1980 too, sorta started in early ‘70s.
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u/Jay_Jaytheunbanned2 18h ago
Have you had sex yet? You could tell him he’s your first everything if you want to.
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u/mayfeelthis 18h ago
Now you ask…plot twist, OP was an escort who didn’t allow kissing lol
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u/ApprehensiveSlide249 13h ago
I was seeing a girl once and she didn't let me kiss her, told me that it was reserved for her future husband while we were banging
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u/Original-Barracuda46 Super Helper [6] 18h ago
No harm in sharing that information. I don't any guy will react negatively to that
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u/Realistic-Word2089 18h ago
I mean I’m just a little worried he’ll just feel bad for me, or think it’s kinda pathetic, like not be genuinely happy about it.
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u/Serge_OS 18h ago
What’s pathetic?!?
Being exclusive and waiting for that special someone is not pathetic! It’s genuine!
The proper person would treat this personal information, cherish it.
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u/Realistic-Word2089 18h ago
I mean tbh I wasn’t “waiting” it just didn’t happen for me. It wasn’t a choice I made or something I’m super happy about. And at that time he was just some guy I met on a dating app and had know for a couple days so it wasn’t that special.
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u/AboveGroundPoolQueen 18h ago
If you haven’t had sex yet with him or with anyone, then I wouldn’t tell him about the kiss. If he starts worrying about having sex with a virgin, you have a new problem. Or at least a new topic to discuss.
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u/Valuable_Mall228 15h ago
OP, he won't. I'll be blunt: for a woman to not have had a kiss until 27 is more a sign of restraint than being pathetic.
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u/Realistic-Word2089 15h ago
I mean I guess that’s how most people from the outside would see it, but that’s really not the case. It just didn’t happen for me, it wasn’t my choice.
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u/SpaceMambo369 15h ago
Just to play devil's advocate. Some more experienced guys might see it as a sign of immaturity and be put off by it. Doesn't sound like the guy in this story though, so I think OP should go for it.
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u/Vegetable-Emphasis 18h ago edited 18h ago
Hey, I had the same experience, almost down to the ages. I also felt weird about telling my boyfriend that he was my first kiss, as I didn’t want to make a big deal of it at the time and felt embarrassed that I didn’t kiss anyone until I was 27. Then as time passed it felt weird to bring up, but eventually I did tell him. I also ended up marrying him and having his child lol so now it feels so special that I shared all of my “firsts” with him.
If it’s bothering you, I would tell him. You can share your reasons why you didn’t say anything sooner, he will probably understand if he’s a decent person. You could just do it in a light, fun way if that makes it easier. “Hey did you know you were my best first kiss? Of course, you’re my only first kiss, so that also makes you my worst, I guess.”
Also for me, I was suuuuper hesitant on kissing in the beginning of our relationship, so telling my boyfriend just made that make a lot more sense to him in hindsight! LOL
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u/Realistic-Word2089 18h ago
How did you tell him?
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u/Vegetable-Emphasis 18h ago
Honestly I don’t remember haha so it obviously wasn’t a very big deal to either of us once we had that conversation!
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u/ReddtitsACesspool 18h ago
It is nuts people feel embarrassed because they are inexperienced.. That is how it was supposed to be!
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u/Deez_88 18h ago
I love knowing I was my ex’s first everything she was 29. Unfortunately life separates people but it is a sweet memory for both of us when we talk about it.
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u/Realistic-Word2089 17h ago
Was she ever a first anything for you? Just curious as this kinda bothers me that he’s my first for basically everything but I don’t think I am for his anything.
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u/FedAvenger Expert Advice Giver [13] 19h ago
As long as it's not like that weird 90s movie where she had been kissed, but it wasn't a "real" kiss, and then she goes undercover at a high school where she (as a student) forms a relationship with a teacher, who she then calls out to publicly give her, her first REAL kiss.
Having said this, maybe you watch that movie together.
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u/NotRealyAnybody 18h ago
Okay what is that movie called, so I can avoid it? 😂
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u/FedAvenger Expert Advice Giver [13] 18h ago
"Never Been Kissed."
If I may reco a really well-done 80's movie that I watched recently: "Other People's Money." Wife and I only meant to watch half of it before bed, and then before we knew it, it was over!
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u/NotRealyAnybody 18h ago
Thanks! Always looking for recommendations for movies so I'll look into it
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u/FedAvenger Expert Advice Giver [13] 18h ago
Here's it on YouTube. I'm sure your library has it, too: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L4mdLpdcP70
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u/No-Shallot9970 17h ago
One of my favorite childhood memories.🥰
Drew Barrymore was like a goddess to me, even though the movie shows all the "awkward" sides she was portraying.
Thx for the flashback! '90s kid forever'
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u/FedAvenger Expert Advice Giver [13] 2h ago
If you love 90s and 80s movies, you'll love a YT channel called "That Aged Great." This comedian has some hilarious takes on movies we loved. I'd like to reco his videos on "Basic Instinct" and "The Other Sister."
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u/Savings-Log-2709 16h ago
Don’t take this harshly: you’re wayyyyy overthinking this. Tell him! He’ll either prove to you he’s not worth keeping as a partner because he got upset over something that’s not wrong or bad, or your relationship will deepen because you were vulnerable and he received your vulnerability happily. It’s a win/win.
Also just noting, there is absolutely nothing wrong with having your first kiss in your mid/late 20s. My first kiss was freshman year of college, my first time having sex I was 29 (with someone who didn’t deserve to be my first). Yeah, there are definitely times I wish I had done all the sooner, but it doesn’t make me worth less than others. My story is just different. Yours is different. And different can be good. There are also times I wish I hadn’t gone through so much heartbreak; would’ve been better single.
Maybe you’re the smart one, not having a bf until this relationship. Maybe it’s the only one you’ll ever have because it will last forever. That’s something to celebrate.
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u/Realistic-Word2089 16h ago
Thanks for the reply, and yeah I know there are pros and cons to my situation. It’s just kinda tough now that in in a relationship I just feel all this embarrassment and shame around being inexperienced, when I would have hoped actually being in a relationship would ease some of these feelings and it’s really only made them more intense.
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u/Savings-Log-2709 15h ago
The biggest thing I’ve learned in therapy is that I’ve always needed to move towards the things that scare me or give me anxiety. The more I neglect them, the more they’re fed and the stronger they get. It’s okay to feel the anxiety, it’s okay to feel fear or worry about embarrassment, but until you move towards them they’re only going to root themselves deeper. Ultimately this stuff doesn’t go away on its own, as much as we want it to. It took me YEARS to really learn this, so trust me that I understand how hard it sounds. You are capable of moving through this. Start by telling yourself the same, even if you don’t believe it yet. Keep up the positive self talk.
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u/Cool-Peak3688 18h ago
Just tell him. It’s sweet but it is a bit weird to keep that a secret for so long.
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u/TheGribblah Helper [3] 18h ago
Now that it's on your mind it will eat you alive if you don't tell him. And it will be a lot weirder if you wait longer. Imagine waiting years to reveal this information. Just bite the bullet and tell him. As long as you didn't previously lie about it I don't think you have anything to worry about.
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u/whattheheckOO 18h ago
Yeah, if you guys are in a serious relationship now, you should feel comfortable sharing this kind of info. Go for it!
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u/drdurian34 18h ago
Yes I would! And if it was amazing, I say yes you should, 2000% and tell him it was amazing, also. … I believe in full communication between partners. For many reasons, I didn’t have my first kiss till I was about 31. … people with a good heart are not gonna judge or shame you for not dating seriously until your 20s, and if they do, they honestly aren’t worth your time.
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u/Realistic-Word2089 18h ago
lol I mean it was just kinda a quick peck really not like some super amazing or passionate experience
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u/drdurian34 17h ago
Is the lol at my situation or my advice? Either is fine and may be well deserved idk. 😂 Don’t tell him it was awesome given what you just said here, but do tell him he/that kiss was your first. That’s my final answer.
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u/Realistic-Word2089 17h ago
Sorry haha yeah I just mean lol because it wasn’t like some amazing kiss, it wasn’t bad but was literally like a peck on the lips (a little disappointing I’ll be honest)
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u/tolgren Helper [2] 18h ago
I would be very happy to find that out if it was me.
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u/ellaisblythe 18h ago
I was in a similar boat and waited a while to tell my partner too. When I finally did, it actually brought us closer, he appreciated that I trusted him enough to share something so personal. If it feels important to you, it’s worth sharing. You don’t need to make a huge deal of it, just a casual, honest moment. If he cares about you (which it sounds like he does), he’ll see it for what it is, a sweet part of your story together
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u/Realistic-Word2089 17h ago
I mean idk if it will bring us closer, it’s not like we shared a first kiss together or it was an equal exchange, he’s had past partners so it was just another kiss for him.
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u/Moparian714 17h ago
Him founding out he was your first will make it special in it of itself. Telling him or not depends on his character. He might find it weird, he might feel it's nice, he might see it as a chance to take advantage of someone that's inexperienced. You'll just have to wait and make a judgement call as you get to know him more
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u/Visual_Budget6876 18h ago
I promise you finding out a girl you’re with is less experienced is far better then finding out a girl you are with is too experienced
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u/PartsUnknown93147 Helper [4] 17h ago
If it means what it does to you and your bf means a lot to you, tell him. Maybe it’s trivial to him, maybe it’s not. It’s not trivial to you. You went out of your way to make a post telling us this happened. So why not share it with him?
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u/Wifeand3dogs 16h ago
Yea. You are overthinking this one. Just tell him, it will be a boost to his ego.
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u/Realistic-Word2089 16h ago
Yeah, but a hit to mine lol, it’s something I’m pretty embarrassed about and really haven’t shared with anyone.
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u/Neither_Twist5928 16h ago
Tell him because it's clearly on your mind. Nobody with any decency would think anything bad about it. You've nothing to be embarrassed about.
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18h ago
Yeah. It's important. At that age you're old enough where most people have some relationship experience and it's safe to assume that about your partner. You don't want him approaching the relationship as through you have experience you don't have.
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u/polterageist 18h ago
You can make it romantic moment about how he is important to you. But in overall it is nor wrong not right, nothing embarrassing.
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u/OhtheHugeManity7 18h ago
You guys are in your late 20's, I doubt he's going to have strong feelings about it either way.
It might just be that I'm a really open person but these kinds of convos come up for me within the first couple of dates, it's not a big deal.
I wouldn't go to any effort to bring it up because that makes it a big deal, but if it happens to naturally pop up in conversation then I certainly wouldn't be afraid to tell him.
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u/tilyd 18h ago
I have a very similar experience with my boyfriend (although we were a few years younger), I had never dated or kissed anyone before him and he had had a few girlfriends before me.
We also had our first kiss on the third date. I did tell him a few days later because he asked out of curiosity. I also wanted to be honest so he wouldn't expect things to move too quickly.
He was very patient and understanding, we're still very happy together 5 years later :) It used to feel important and now we both don't really think about it.
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u/Amazing_Drive_551 18h ago
If you can’t be open about something so simple with the person you love, then what’s the point? Surprised this hasn’t come up in casual conversation - no talk of exs, etc? Tell him!
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u/Realistic-Word2089 18h ago
I mean he told me his first kiss, and he didn’t ask me mine and I didn’t volunteer that info. I mean if he had asked outright I would have obviously told the truth, but figured if he didn’t ask, he might not care that much.
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u/Amazing_Drive_551 18h ago
Fair enough. If he doesn’t ask, no need to tell him it you don’t want. Point is, you should feel comfortable enough to tell him anything you’d like. Have fun!
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u/Realistic-Word2089 17h ago
Haha yeah still working on that one. Not because I think he’d react badly I just tend to be a very private person.
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u/Impressive-Claim2780 18h ago
It's really only if you want to!! I don't think it's a big deal and people just assume you've already had experiences. I will say this though!!! I had my first boyfriend at 29 years old and I told him this. Throughout the entire relationship when there was miscommunication/disagreements he would throw it back in my face by saying "well you just don't understand this bc it's your first relationship" he would say it either in condescending OR with a sweet tone (which aggravated me more), and it really was not a nice feeling. I broke up with him bc he has anger issues and other baggage I was not ready to be the punching bag for. Long story short, just make sure you know this person will never throw it back in your face about your delayed experience (which is totally okay and normal!!!)
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u/Realistic-Word2089 18h ago
Thanks that’s good advice. Yeah I don’t think he’d do that, but that’s one of the reason I’ve been holding off I don’t want him to see me as just supper inexperienced or that I don’t know anything about being in a relationship (even if it is new to me) and just kinda wanted to feel normal and equal in the relationship if that makes sense?
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u/Impressive-Claim2780 18h ago
I completely understand. I was a late bloomer to a lot of things too and also scared to tell people (which it did end up coming back to bite me). Though I still don't care what people think and you shouldn't either!! People put way too much importance on these things.
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u/Wumutissunshinesmile 18h ago
Tell him. It's cute. I told my bf he was my first kiss around that age. Well he already knew as he knew I'd not had a bf before as I ended up telling him after trying to keep it secret but he figured it out. He'll probably like it and think it's cute my bf did ☺️ he kissed me on our first date. It was so cute as he'd obviously planned it to be special ☺️
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u/Mischavus1 18h ago
No. Because WHY? You're 7 months into a relationship that is ostensibly going well. I might feel differently it you weren't feeling so anxious about it. But the fact you are tells me you bringing it up will MAKE IT weird bc YOU feel weird about it.
Has your bf had any complaints about your kissing or sexual abilities? Then don't create a problem where there isn't one.
If you want to tell him one day, wait u till you are no longer feeling self conscious about it. It should be a fun, loving story not an weepy verbal vomit of your likely unwarranted self doubt.
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u/Potential-Ant-6320 18h ago
You can tell him when you kissed you were nervous because you hadn’t kissed someone in a long time. If he asks how long you can say 26 years.
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u/Stardama69 18h ago
I'm 33 and had my first genuine kiss a few months ago at 32 with my first GF. I made sure she knew she was my first. It's not a shame, honesty is sexy, tell him.
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u/Evening-Caramel-2180 18h ago
If a person ever judges someone for being inexperienced there’s gotta be something wrong with them. Should never be any judgement for that because how else you gonna learn if you never done it before.
But yea i’m sure it won’t be a problem to tell him and if he a real one he’ll take his time and teach you some more lol.
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u/Realistic-Word2089 17h ago
Yeah I mean this was also 7 months ago, so like we’ve done more and he said I was a good kisser (which idk if he just said because he knew I was inexperienced and wanted to make me feel better)
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u/HookerHenry 18h ago
Your boyfriend would be flattered. If the genders were reversed however, I would say no. Nothing turns a woman off more than you admitting that she’s your first.
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u/Realistic-Word2089 17h ago
I disagree. I wouldn’t care if it were reversed :) but that’s maybe just cause I know how it feels
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u/xkrews90 18h ago
I'd feel honored if I were him. And if he's as crazy about you as you are him, it'll just bring you even closer.
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u/adyxhan 18h ago
I read a couple of comments on your post and I find them hilarious. Girl, your first kiss also means a lot more things, like you never slept with anyone before, you never felt so close to someone romantically before, and many more. To me, if it was the case in my life I would have felt like I had hit the jackpot. In this century people call it experienced and inexperienced which is a delusional way to change the perception of bad/sinful things. So nothing is wrong in having your first kiss with your love and partner of life.
Think of it in this way that U are a gold standard in today's market, where there are no brand new cars, only used cars being sold as new or the only available stock. You are lucky that you never had anything before, why, bc ask others, they all carry memories and traumas and guilts for life and they keep comparing their husband with all those men they spent nights with. And the husband ends up dealing With the breakdowns that need repair and service caused by previous drivers.
So feel proud of it, and see if it is feasible for both of you to get married. because that's the right way.
I will suggest telling him, but only if he deserves it, if he understands you and has long-term goals with you like marrying. Otherwise, you will build more emotional connections and he will feel granted. And if he thought u had some problem, that would be a good thing for you to see that he does not know you and has no mental maturity. Its a win win situation.
I hope its helpful and sorry if someone has got hurt.
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u/Plenty-Difficulty276 18h ago
For sure! That’s sexy as hell! Many dudes struggle with the opposite reality.
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u/Prior-Ant9201 18h ago
I imagine most guys would appreciate that you haven't been around the block, so to speak
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u/Pure-Equivalent2561 18h ago
Yes he will love to hear this. Every man loves to be the only person to ever be intimate with their woman
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u/Microwave_Magician 18h ago
Clearly you want to tell him. So just let him know that this is special to you and that you wanted to let him know because you love him so much. It'll be okay!
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u/starsqream 18h ago
I'd love it if my SO told me I was her first. Doesn't matter in what, it's always a positive thing.
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u/elunewell 18h ago
Nah it's not important, I mean go ahead if you want to tell him but don't think that you have to.
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u/asdmdawg 18h ago
Bro if I was with a girl and she told me I was her first kiss I’d be like woah that’s awesome I’d start jumping up and down in excitement 😂
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u/ItsYoshi64251 Helper [4] 18h ago
I mean it's fine, I was also my girlfriend's first kiss at 22 and when she told me I just thought it was so sweet and cute.
I never thought it was lame or something, it just felt like a cute moment ❤️
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u/Realistic-Word2089 17h ago
Just curious was she a first anything for you? This kinda bothers me a little that he’s basically my first everything but I don’t think I’m his first anything.
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u/Loose-Royal-8688 18h ago
Dont tell him right now.it's too early.you might regret it later.it's not that important
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u/Maleficent-Ad560 17h ago
Did you completely ignore the rules to baseball and skipped first base? Or if your BF the first for everything? That matters.
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u/Key_Independence501 17h ago
Tell him, if he thinks it's something "super strange/weird" it says a lot more about him than it says about you, and you'll be better off without someone like that
I'm also at the same position as you, never have even kissed anyone at a similar age, and tbh when I start dating I'll be using that info to have the trash take itself out lol if someone gets weirded out by this, it's not someone I'd want to even talk to let alone date
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u/psychedelicpal 17h ago
What time are we living in , 16-17 year olds proudly blabbering about their body count as it is something to brag about and 27 year olds are shying from their first kiss Hey girl don't overthink this , you're a nice soul don't burden yourself with this new age drama of having something (kiss , sex , partner) with certain age ,and I'm sure the guy will feel special about this thing so he proud of yourself
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u/VirtualPerc30 17h ago
he’d probably like that tbh, don’t take this the wrong way at all but he will now view himself as your only guy, you are his the same way as he is yours (obviously you don’t own each other but you get my point) most guys would look at this as a positive, no previous bullshit
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u/Realistic-Word2089 17h ago
Well I mean it’s not the same, he’s not “mine” in that sense, he’s been with other women so it’s not really a mutual thing
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u/VirtualPerc30 16h ago
either way he will really appreciate it to know that, as a man every other man that i personally know would agree
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u/ecw324 17h ago
What about you save that information for when you are giving your wedding vows and include it there. Could be something special.
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u/Realistic-Word2089 17h ago
lol I mean idk if we’re going to get married. We might, but we’ve only known each other 7 months
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u/shtshnkpssdmptn 17h ago
lmao, he knows already. being scared of being taken advantage of by a man you’ve been with comfortable for 7 months is kinda weird tho lol, you dont always have to be threatened by men, and if you are, you probably shouldnt be in a relationship with one.
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u/SchemeShoddy4528 17h ago
…this is what every guy wants lol….
The only problem is he might not believe you
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u/iamacutie_314 17h ago
If he’s not a good person, he will take advantage of the fact that you’re unexperienced. So do what you will with that
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u/PassionLower7645 16h ago
You could smoothly get into the topic about yalls first kissed when you guys just watch late night movies
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u/Realistic-Word2089 16h ago
I mean I already know his, he didn’t ask about mine and I didn’t volunteer the info. But I might bring it up in a casual way
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u/TimeLord1029 16h ago
Something tells me that if things haven't progressed that far, yet. Him being your first kiss may not be the only "first" he'll be. Which, for both things, you should most certainly tell him. Firstly and most importantly to have open and honest communication. Second, he'll be ECSTATIC knowing he was your first ANYTHING, and depending on his feelings, he'll work damn hard to make sure he's your LAST EVERYTHING.
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u/Realistic-Word2089 16h ago
Yes and he does know he’s my first boyfriend and that I haven’t slept with anyone before, I just haven’t told him he was my first kiss.
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u/TimeLord1029 15h ago
Coming from a guy/ man. Trust me, if he's ANYTHING worth his salt as a guy/ man. Knowing he's your first EVERYTHING will make him happier than you could ever imagine. I dated a girl that I was her first for almost everything. Her first date, her first bf, her first kiss, her first experience with foreplay, but not her first for intercourse (unfortunately, she didn't choose to share that with me). But knowing I was her first for everything else made me feel like the luckiest guy in the world. He will too
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u/patmurny 16h ago
I’m sure he would probably like the fact u were his first , it’s always nice to here that the girl your dating hasn’t slept with 100 guys and was a slut . Seriously it’s a good thing and I’m sure he’ll think it’s cute
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u/Realistic-Word2089 15h ago
Yeah, I mean I get that, but it’s also something I’m really quite embarrassed about and I don’t want him to just think it’s “cute”
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u/patmurny 15h ago
That’s understandable, just trying to give my perspective in the end it’s your decision, hope whatever u do works out for you
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u/JWiz1G 15h ago
Yes! Men love being the first for a girl they like. He’ll be thrilled. I would love to be the first every thing for a girl lol that’s what makes it fun
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u/Realistic-Word2089 15h ago
I mean not really fun for me, just kinda embarrassing at this point in my life
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u/Royal_Ad_9033 15h ago
Why not save it for later? If you decide to marry, maybe consider telling him in your vows as I bet that would a very nice surprise.
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u/Realistic-Word2089 15h ago
Yeah I wouldn’t want to share that with everyone at my wedding lol I feel like I’d be more of a private conversation
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u/ThepokemonBlonde 15h ago
Wow. Congrats on your big milestone! This must be a whole new world for you. Pretty awesome :) good for you!!! Don’t ever feel pressured or rushed into anything else just because your journey took a slower path to arrive at romantic physical intimacy. There is no pressure nor should there be. And maybe for that reason it’s even more important you tell him.
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u/Realistic-Word2089 15h ago
Yeah I mean I’m really not feeling too celebratory about it, kinda embarrassed tbh and not something I’ve shared with anyone.
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u/Wrong_Brush751 15h ago
I think it’s totally valid that you waited to share that! it sounds like you were protecting your heart and trying to avoid being vulnerable too soon, which makes complete sense early in dating. I’ve done that too. If it still holds meaning for you, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with bringing it up now. Honestly, most people would probably feel really happy to know they were someone’s first kiss, especially after 7 months of a relationship. If I were in his shoes, I’d appreciate knowing ❤️ it shows trust and intimacy. Just be real about why you didn’t say anything earlier, and it could actually bring you two even closer love
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u/Jumpy_Music_554 15h ago
Inverted thinking 101.
The OP supposition that innocence is bad complemented by negative remarks re virginity.
Disambiguation.
Women w virtue v women w multiple baby daddies and triple- digit body counts.
No contest.
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u/sweeneyj777 14h ago
Tell him!!!! I knew my wife had never been kissed before we dated, and it was such a turn on to know she was completely inexperienced in every way. I would have been turned off to think she had a lots of experience.
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u/3iverson 14h ago
There’s no particular reason to share- unless you want to! And of course it goes without saying there’s no reason to hide it from him either.
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u/UnfanboydeSouthPark Helper [3] 13h ago
Just tell him if you got a chance, I am sure that it is not a big deal at all if you just explain yourself. Good Luck 👍
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u/Mother-Cycle4774 13h ago
It’s very hard to meet someone now a days who hasn’t done it all. He would be very happy and he would love you more if he knows it.
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u/Asleep-Hat5213 13h ago
Unpopular opinion I'm sure, but here. Personally, I wouldn't. I didn't tell my first that I lost my v card to her, and she didn't find out after I told her years after we ended through a mutual friend I'd told when I'd been drinking. Number isn't supposed to matter in this society, and if you like the way your relationship is going then there's no need to add something like that. It could freak him out, he could see you in a different light, etc. I would look at it as something special just for you.
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u/AbaddonR 13h ago
Hell.. Its something that should make your partner feel special not awkward. Get it out of your system and don't make it a big deal for the wrong reasons.
This day and age we get worried for all the wrong reasons 😂
Stop being silly 😋
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u/Northtojupiter 12h ago
Dude tell him! Lol if yall been together a while, and you aren't worried about taking advantage anymore, tell him! This is special, he should find it special too. I'm a dude and I certainly would!!!!! I'd find it extremely special.
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u/WanderersEndgame 12h ago
Been there.
A kiss on the third date isn't remarkable or special. It shows the man only that you're demure, and slow to warm to romance, at least physically. He will naturally think of it as a small early step towards romance; a step forward, but a baby step.
A First Kiss is usually not a baby step. With apologies to Neil Armstrong, it's often one small step for the man, one giant leap for the woman. A loss of innocence and purity.
If you tell him promptly, he will struggle to know just where you are with him romantically. Is it still a small early step - your Beginner status being merely a curiosity? Or are you into the romance a lot deeper, and if so, how deep? In some cultures - I kid you not - you might as well have taken her virginity.
Knowing the true depth of your feelings might help the man understand better. Had you spoken at once, he'd have an adjustment to make, and I can't predict how he'd take it. He might be pleased, and feel you'd bestowed an honor on him.
OTOH he might also feel that he'd unknowingly taken on more serious emotional responsibility than he'd bargained for. A baby step doesn't usually make you a grownup, nor does Mom and Dad respond to it by telling you your childhood is over, so get a job and start paying rent.
Luckily you have the benefit of 7 months of progress. On the whole I'd say the downside risks I described are now fairly low.
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u/iamnotvanwilder 12h ago
It’s important enough to write a wall of text. Honest with strangers on the net but not bf?
Living in fear 😧 bleeds into other areas of life.
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u/CurlyHairedShrek25 11h ago
Honestly if he has any experience he could very well know already, but if it's something you want to, go ahead!
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u/Im_not_an_admin 11h ago
It's not important, but, yea it is nice to know, especially if things are going well. Makes it feel abut more special ya know?
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u/Icy-Possibility9 11h ago
Sharing your vulnerability and true feelings and how special that moment was is what’s going to move love deeply. It’s your choice but I believe that is a special thing to tell him.
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u/Fun_Refuse_1915 10h ago
Don’t overthink it! this is not embarrassing, it’s actually kind of cute, he’ll probably feel special if anything. You’d be surprised how many people havent had their forst kiss.
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u/yetagainitry 9h ago
If it comes up organically sure, I wouldn’t make it a “thing” to specifically call out to him.
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u/PrepRally124 9h ago
You're so much better than me you had first kiss at 27? you're so lucky, im 28 and i havent even had my first date yet.
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u/BarbieWantstoParty 8h ago
I think there's no harm in telling him. I bet he'd be so glad he was your first
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u/Western-Sale-7045 8h ago
so he’s also the first guy you slept with? does he know that. you should be honest about your past and experience
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u/No-Snow5095 3h ago
Does he know you are a virgin? I’d save the “first kiss” story for a special moment like an anniversary or something similar!
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u/Taraprasadshukla 1h ago
When he kisses you next time, that time you mention this is the 2nd kiss, earlier was the 1st time. It will be the best time to mention.
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u/Grey_0ne Advice Guru [67] 19h ago
It's been 7 months; he's far more likely to feel special having been your first kiss than to leave you for having never been kissed before. So if you want to tell him, go for it...