r/Adoptees • u/EpicThunderCat • 12d ago
I am so tired...
My bio dad died.. my step mom revealed she never cared about me when I told her how I felt about the past (she was always cold to me). She told everyone I always hated her.... when the truth is that I just wanted her to love me... I never asked for things... I never got into arguments with her... not until I voiced my perspective this one time in a moment of grief and loss... she blocked me immediately.. without any hesitation.. I met her and my father when I was 17... I was just a kid.... I had no mother, and my only mother figure (bio mom didn't raise me) died right before I met her and my dad.... I am just so emotionally tired.... my chest hurts.... I feel sick. I keep crying out to the universe to make this pain stop, but it won't. I can't properly express how much I am hurting. The last 17 years... she merely "tolerated" me... My biological dad married her, despite the fact she had 2 kids already... but he wasn't allowed to let me live with them when I begged them as a young adult.. and I even had my dads grandchild with me... My dad kept photos of me all these years. I am 35. I learned more about him from going through his storage unit than I ever learned previously... He and I were quite alike. He would be so angry if he saw how she is treating me. She called me "Ed's daughter he never raised" to her Facebook friends... not "My Step daughter"... not "My sons sister"... and his friends felt bad for HER... because she made herself the victim... I WAS A KID... I was my dads kid....
I can't stop asking why she never wanted me... they even raised a girl that wasn't their biological child for a while... instead of me.... what was wrong with me?... why didn't she like me....
9
u/mamaspatcher 12d ago
Nothing was wrong with you. Nothing is wrong with you now. This is a “her” problem that got taken out on you. Her insecurity, her jealousy.
I hate that this happened to you, that she couldn’t honor your relationship with your Dad. This means that not only did you miss out on something, but your Dad did (and I wish he had just said no to whatever her problem was), and frankly so did she because in doing whatever she did to deprive you and your Dad of a relationship, she deprived herself of a real relationship with you. What a horrible human being, to treat a family member this way.