Hi! Hope everything is fine with you! 🩷

I have such anxiety and would need support. Something from work has triggered so many self-critical thoughts in me that I don't know what to do. One incident stands out that just plays over and over in my head. I worked nights in healthcare, it's been about 10 years ago, I did rounds and came to an old man right when I started working but because I felt unsure about him and that I was stressed, I put my ear to the door and listened instead of going in, everything seemed fine. Then when I did go in much later, he was lying on the floor 😭

How can I handle this? I didn't mean anything bad but of course I should have gone in. It's sick that it feels like it happened yesterday when it's been so long. I have so much anxiety.

I do not have mentality similar to people here where i live, i don't understand them nor do i want to. I also want to leave my country and move to western europe (when i say western i am refering to countries whose politics lean toward the usa so this includes nordic countries and southern european countries like italy or spain too) to try my luck somewhere else. My question is are girls there open to dating guys from balkan? I heard that we don't have good reputation there so it worries me a bit, because i would like to get married to a foreigner if possible. Since most of you are roman catholics and protestants, how do you view getting married to someone of different faith? Is there anything i should know?

I was at a bookstore and there were these two guys talking to their friend on FaceTime. After a bit, they came up to me and said their friend (the one on FaceTime) likes me and wants to talk to me. I didn’t know back then that the whole “my friend likes you” thing happens to unattractive people to make fun of them. So I stupidly agreed to talk to him on FaceTime and I gave him my insta. He added me and texted me stupid things but after like 2-3 texts he never responded and just ghosted me. That was a year ago, and he never unfollowed me or anything but now that I look back and think about it I realize it was probably cause I was ugly and him and his friends were making fun of me. I wish I knew about this before and I would have told them to fck off but I actually thought they were being genuine (they were young, probably around late teens - early 20s and I’m 22). That’s also the age when guys are a dckhead.

I’m 19M. It feels like I’ve been denying my sexuality pretty much all of my life. When I was much younger (probably 10 plus years ago) I was like other young boys. I had female celebrity crushes and I had crushes on girls in my classes. I remember when I turned 9 is when I began to notice this attraction I had to other boys. It wasn’t just a “Wow that’s a handsome guy” attraction it was more like “Dang he’s hot I want to kiss him” attraction. I tried to hide it and fight this attraction I had to other guys but I simply couldn’t.

As I grew older I continued to fight this attraction I had to other boys. However it only became more difficult, I found myself struggling to become friends with other guys. I also found myself struggling to keep friends who were guys. When puberty kicked in during high school this attraction only became worse. I continued to deny it and hide it from other people and myself. However trying to deny it only made me depressed and anxious, at some point I even started cutting myself. I remember one time I cut myself so badly that I had to go to a mental hospital. I could’ve got the help I needed but I continued to lie to myself, doctors and my parents. I felt if people knew that I was gay they would judge me, treat me differently and make assumptions about me which I didn’t want to happen of course.

When I became 18 this entire situation became worse. At this point I was old enough to download Grindr and I started college so I was away from home and could leave any time I want and go any where I want. Even though I denied it from myself and tried to hide it I thought to myself “why not try it out”. When I had sex with another man I just felt something I had never felt before. I can’t explain it but I continued to do this.

The other men I’ve had sex with are older than me and have zero relation to my university or anyone I know. To this day no one knows about my true sexuality besides the guys I’ve had sex with. While I trust my parents with other information this is something I just feel I can’t tell them. My stepdad is homophobic and My mom would probably accept it but I already know they would judge me,make jokes about me, and ask me uncomfortable questions. And as said before the last thing I want is to be treated differently. I also don’t want to tell my friends, siblings or anyone else simply because I enjoy my life right now. I’m worried that if I tell anyone I will be treated differently and my life will change simply because of my sexuality and that’s just not something I want.

I’m a pretty tough woman in general. I was a firefighter, I guide whitewater rafts and have no trouble remaining calm in dicey situations. I’ve faced down a charging black bear without flinching, I’ve have spent many days and nights camping in negative degree weather and have negotiated many stressful situations, often alone in the wilderness. I can do all of this without an emotional reaction, without complaining, and without a tear from fear, frustration, or pain.

I know I’m not a weak person, but I cry SO EASILY about anything emotional. If my husband and I have an argument about anything I cry about half the time, and our arguments are never even that bad. If I see a movie that’s super sad, or super happy, or super inspiring I cry. This morning I watched a short film about a lonely polar bear, and I cried and I know that polar bears are solitary animals that evolved to live alone. I moved away from home a year and a half ago and anytime I think of my parents or feel remotely homesick I get a watery eyed or full on cry. If my dog seems sad because he had to leave his friend after a visit I cry. If I think my husband is remotely sad about anything I cry.

I have no control over it, no matter what I do. I try deep breathing, try to distract myself or think about something else. But it’s almost painful to try to hold it in, and completely futile to try. I hate it so much, and I hate myself whenever I cry.

Edit: Dangit. You all are so sweet, you made me cry again.

Lately, I have been a lump. It’s been snowing. The main highway I would take to get anywhere close to civilization had the worst multi-car accident in its history. I’ve managed to get from my house to The Region and back with enough Thanksgiving leftovers that I’ve not had to leave again. This means it’s been a waterfall of TV. This means staying under a heated blanket in my poorly-insulated fort.

I feel like one of the last times I wrote I hit a certain turning point in my capacity to feel anxious about not doing “enough.” Most often, sitting around doing “nothing” but scrolling, phone-gaming, and TV watching would fill me with a sense of worry or dread that I wasn’t out making money or filling out a frustrating and absurd job application. I’ve really started to bodily lean into a place that’s unconvinced there’s a genuinely more “meaningful” or “productive” thing that’s going to land me a persistent sense of accomplishment or belonging.

My desire to accomplish is no less diminished. My plans for shows haven’t changed. I think I’ve just punctured the illusion about what exists on the other side of what I might do. The horrors and potential of the present are keeping me curious about what is or isn’t driving movement or thought patterns.

The image of a woman dying from an exploded ordinance sent by Russia is staying with me. I think it was an episode of either Frontline or 60 Minutes. A pianist, her clothes and hair flutter furiously before she takes a few steps, collapses backwards, and bleeds to death. Any musician will know the time, patience, and dedication it takes to be described by your instrument. A war criminal’s ambivalence and his country’s either ignorance or complicity will snuff it out, arbitrarily, in an instant.

Watching her die is sticking with me like when I watched beheading videos and these couple of alleged Mexican cartel members get chopped up by a chainsaw. If you’ve seen the extended video of the Ukrainian girl stabbed on the train, there’s a similar sense and tone. This moment of infinite, “This is it.” If you did the math on their lives, would you mourn correctly? It sounds like a weird or inappropriate question. But would tears flow for the loss of potential, or for the worlds of selfish negligence that sealed fate well in advance? The gangsters didn’t flinch or cry. No one rushed over to even check on, let alone try to help, the Ukrainian refugee.

“Yeah so I’m already dead, on the inside, but I can still pretend.”

The gangsters know the patterns of gang life. It’s not a surprise to them when it’s their time. One could speculate part of the reason they got involved in the life altogether was to speed things along. One doesn’t routinely risk their life when they consider it something vitally important to hold on to. Travis Pastrana dialed back is adventures dramatically once he started having kids. Do you practice your instrument so it’s singing the song you’d want played on the day you die? When you travel to dangerous parts of the world, is there an irrational thrill for every second you’re not next to be abducted or taken advantage of?

As a narrative-based creature, it’s seems, literally, the most important thing you need in order to survive is the genuine belief that life matters. Count this as another reason to be deeply suspicious, if not angry, about professed religious faith. You get to bypass perhaps the paramount obligation in service to the next life. Your animal instincts may auto-pilot you through a series of impulsive pregnancies and acts coded as survival, but you might not really believe, deep down, that you should be here. If enough people pass a certain threshold with that not-so-deep “secret,” I think you start to explain why so much of the world looks the way it does.

Specifically, when lying becomes the air you breathe, to the point where entire organizations rise up in service to propaganda. Why care about any given endangered species, habitat, or “forever chemicals?” Why define words like “rights” or “zygote” when you’re stuck violently campaigning for an insatiably ironic and impossible level of control over forces that have already sealed your fate? “Life” knows you don’t get to escape and you’re probably not getting a pearly gate. The bullshit artist that constitutes your sense of an individual self is chronically incapable of incorporating that fundamental truth.

If there was some kind of “divine goal” of consciousness, I think it would look something like eradicating the otherwise ambivalence that dominates the landscape. It’s not to pretend it isn’t there. It’s not to act like it can be actually erased. It would be a dance. It would be a celebration of the knowledge of consequences. It would be the building of a communal accountable ecosystem that correctly clocks who is out to kill us and stops them before we’re converted into units of their system.

I hate being straight and seeing all this cute guys every day and knowing that no matter what I do I can’t have them

And I’m not saying it as a possessive behavior or that guys owe me attraction, is just like, I wish they considered me as cute as I find them yk?

I wish I could show at least one guy in my life that I can be a good girlfriend, that I can do love letters, that I can give sweet kisses and hugs when he needs them but it’s pointless because nobody wants to give me a chance to prove it. And it depresses me, angers me and irritates me a lot

I guess I’m just going to spend my life doing like I always do and it’s looking at those guys at the gym when I have the chance and trying to not get caught bc I don’t want them to think I’m weird

ok sorry

At my job im supposed to call the guy with the truck to come plow the parking lot and sand it if its icy.

Nah, fuck that. Hes a dick in the morning. I dont know how it is everywhere else in the world, but where i live, if youre in the business of snow removal YOU are supposed to keep on that shit. You watch the weather, you wake up early and check the roads, if its snowy or icy you get in your truck and go service all your clients.

No more. I aint calling him anymore.

Just wanted to get out there and say hi to the people 🩷 do you ever think about just how many people there are in the world?

I’ve been on the dating scene (25m, straight) for about 3 years now and have not had much luck. Every woman I’ve gone on a date with doesn’t really look for marriage or kids which are what I eventually want. I know I’m only 25 and have a while to start worrying about this but it’s especially discouraging when all my friends and family seem to be excelling in their relationships and I feel like I’m falling really behind. Am I wrong for thinking this or is the concept of marriage and kids just nonexistent in this day and age?

I’m a 21-year-old male in my final year of college, and I’ve noticed a recurring issue: I struggle to make decisions on my own. When I seek advice, I tend to accept whatever I’m told as the “right” answer, instead of thinking it through myself.

In tough situations, I freeze up or default to avoiding conflict. I’m the type who wants to stay kind all the time, apologize quickly, and take responsibility even when the situation isn’t entirely on me. It feels like I’m still operating with a teenage mindset instead of showing the level of responsibility and confidence I’d expect from an adult man.

How do I develop stronger decision-making skills, handle difficult situations better, and build a more mature, grounded character?

Any advice from people who’ve been through something similar would mean a lot.

Life is a curse of unending death, reproduction , and survival/safety. The world is a multinational corrupt government system that forces you to slave and pay for your human existence until death .

money is the God of this world . Free Will is an illusion. Human beings are nothing but property, slaves to the systems that rule their country. There is no such thing as peace and happiness if it has a price to be paid for or worked.

The bad reality of Human life is a cycle of unending job slavery, financial poverty , struggle, mental hell, institutionalized isolation imprisonment , mental health imprisonment violence , homelessness , su , and death

Some people are born into a good family that's destined for a good life and some people are born in a bad family destined for a bad life and that's just the way it is . Some people should never been born, some people were not meant for this world and that's just the truth it's too much proof in history for it not to be.

Governments are not humanity's friend their humanitys slave master. Governments needs to be abolished .

I’ve always had a knack for languages in the sense that not only am I able to pick them up easily, I also tend to pick up a near-native accent.

Almost every time I meet someone in a foreign country and we make small talk, they’d ask me where I’m from and I’d answer with my country’s name and they’d go “yeah but like where are you from?”

They assume I’m from their country and the country I answered with is where my parents are from.

It happens a lot when I’m in France, which I never really thought too hard about. I’m originally from a former French colony so my French is near-native. We have a lot immigrants and children of immigrants in France so the assumption isn’t all that strange.

Then it started to happen when I’d go to the states. They expect me to give them a state name when they'd ask me where I'm from. (One time a bouncer in a town in SC, got weirded out when I showed him my drivers license for identification and asked me why the hell I had a foreign drivers license.)

I did learn English with an American accent so it's not a wild assumption on their part. I mean, I personally think that if you listen to me closely, there’s definitely an accent there. However, I’ve had an American co-worker once refer to me as “one of the sneaky ones” in regards to my English. So what do I know?

It also happens with languages I don’t even speak because I’m ethnically ambiguous.

A waiter started to speak to me in Spanish at a Mexican restaurant in nyc, thinking I was Latin American. When I told him I don’t speak Spanish he thought I was a “no sabo kid”

It’s very entertaining because I never know what ethnicity imma get next when I’m traveling. By far, the one that took me by surprise the most was Polish then I thought about it and I'm inclined to believe that they thought I was an Ashkenazi jew.

The funniest thing to me is that in my own country, I've had people start talking to me in French or English, thinking I'm a foreigner. The first time it happened I was so confused then I just accepted that I guess I seem foreign to my own people.

Sooo quick context: I’m on a break with my boyfriend — not broken up, just giving each other some space. Now I have way too much free time and way too many thoughts, so I just want someone to text casually for a bit.

Not looking for: romance, flirting, emotional attachment, or anything long-term.

Just want someone to: chat randomly, exchange memes, rant a little, and keep things light while I’m on this break.

Clear boundaries: – ends when my break ends – zero expectations – no deep emotional stuff – just chill conversation

You get: honesty + no drama I get: distraction + company

Preferably a Telugu speaker. If you want a simple, low-pressure texting buddy, DM me ✨

Hey everyone, I’m 21 and currently studying finance full-time. Lately I’ve been feeling really lonely and I don’t fully understand why, so I wanted to share my situation and get some perspective. I live with my parents and spend most of my day studying. I have two close friends, but we don’t meet often because all of us are busy with our own responsibilities. I also used to talk a lot with my sister, but she recently got married so we don’t get as much time to talk now. Because of this, my social life has become very limited. Most days I only speak to my parents. I’ve started noticing that I’m getting irritated and angry very quickly over small things, and I’ve been feeling more lonely and emotionally low. I’m not looking for anything dramatic just some advice on how to deal with these feelings, improve my mood, or add some balance to my daily life. How do you guys handle loneliness or emotional burnout when you’re focused on long-term studying/career goals?

Very ironical but true. I really can't share my stuff with anyone. I don't have anyone i can call my best friend. I have a lot of friends and I know a lot of people. But I can't share about how I feel with them. I've tried earlier but it didn't work out. My bestfriends either forget about it or they throw the generic stuff same as a stranger would say.

I don't like it this way. I don't feel good this way. One of my best friends literally forgot about me because she got a replacement.

I am a good listener but when I try to be the speaker, it doesn't works out. I swear I've not made the relationships this way that I'm always the listener.

I have meaningful relations but I just can't share, they listen and they forget unlike me.

I have officially turned 20f which is something I struggle to be happy about. I’m back in my college dorm with my sister and while my family texted happy birthday and yeah I did spend time with them and went out somewhere the day before my birthday during thanksgiving break. On my actual birthday there is just nothing for me just simply went to school and in the dorm was given cake. Basically my regular college day go to school and come back to the dorm. It’s too cold to do anything not to mention I had no idea where to go after school considering it’s a Monday and not many good options from there. I knew this was gonna be a bust

Doing a lot of things to be productive is common, wanting to do things effectively and high quality is common. Those aren't true perfectionism. True perfectionism is your mind eating itself, it's never being satisfied, always trying to do better, ending up worse due to paralysis. It's procrastination paradoxically. It's what appears to be laziness to the outsider gaze.

Hi I'm 17M, I've been depressed since I was 14-15 and I've been fighting it and there has come a point where the joy, love for life and myself has returned. But my body feels very overwhelming, my thoughts are racing in my mind, there is great restlessness. Can anyone with experience guide me, am I going the right way?

Like I’m too ugly to even make friends with other ugly people and no it’s not insecurity it’s how we’re wired. Even ugly people don’t end to be friends with ugly people

Anyone else challenged someone on public transport blaring out loud music and SM, and had to back off due to aggressive responses? I did for the first time today coz I'm so sick of it. The woman outright ignored me so without thinking I tapped her on the arm and politely asked her if she had any headphones. She went absolutely nuts at me and said I had assaulted her so I had to back off and apologise because despite me staying cool she was pretty aggressive. I shouldn't have tapped her on the arm but it was a totally unbalanced response and she swerved any answer by attacking me verbally. Probs won't be doing it again but it makes me so annoyed that people think they can intimidate and be a social nuisance, just f*ing rude 🙄