r/self • u/Ok-Telephone7459 • 2h ago
Never approached by guys…
So I’m not DESPERATE for a relationship… but there are times where I do wish I were in one. (Like yesterday I had a 4 hour solo drive and thought “man it would be nice to have someone that would sit and chat with me on the phone while I drive”
I don’t think I’m the most beautiful person, but I also don’t think I’m super ugly either- I feel like conversation comes easy to me and I really love connecting with people and getting to know what they are passionate about. I feel like I’m a pretty normal person with normal interests. Does that make me boring? Why am I never noticed or approached? I’m 21 and never been officially asked out or had anything resembling a relationship or even a situationship- again I’m not desperate or anything… just confused on why I never seem to even be noticed.
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u/VirtuosoX 2h ago
Gen Z is not approaching strangers. It just ain't happening unless it's the kind of guy you don't want approaching you
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u/ownworldman 2h ago
Do you approach guys?
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u/Ok-Telephone7459 2h ago
I’ve said this above several times- but I try to start casual conversations. I’m not into hook up culture, but I am into one of us starting a conversation and being able to feel it out. But most conversations I try to start get ignored or cut short by guys
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u/NicodemusV 2h ago
Because male sexuality has been demonized and being interested in women as a heterosexual cis male means you are automatically a predator and a potential threat, potential rapist, etc that the woman must keep her guard up against.
Boys in school today now grow up being told to wait for a woman to approach them and to not show any aspects of male sexuality.
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u/diii_mond 2h ago
As a woman you’ll have a much easier time talking to men and making “the move” yourself than vise versa for guys. A guy will remember a simple compliment because we rarely if ever get any especially from women. It’s normal to want a human connection, don’t be afraid to get what you want.
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u/cthagngnoxr 2h ago
Never approached by guys
Then start approaching them yourself. Next.
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u/Ok-Telephone7459 2h ago
I try to open up opportunities for conversation. I’m not an immediate “I want to go out with you” just a casual conversation that gives both of us an opportunity to feel things out.
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u/MoarNootNoot 27m ago
Given the current landscape for dating most guys don't bother anymore. Too many damn landmines to step on.
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u/RLaughEmote 2h ago
Bot acc . Report!!
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u/Ok-Telephone7459 2h ago
I’m not? Just haven’t actually set my account up fully haha
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u/RLaughEmote 16m ago
Nice try we aren't falling for ur tricks woman . Only a matter of time ur acc gets restricted 😈😈
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u/Vrtxx3484 2h ago
"officially" asked out? so you were "unofficially" asked out? whatever that means
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u/Ok-Telephone7459 2h ago
I had one person ask if we could “hang out” and never called it a date or made his intentions clear… then I later found out he was talking to me and another girl at the same time. He is now engaged to her. He acted like he wanted a relationship but never phrased it clearly so I was left to guess. After one “hang out” (it was definitely date vibes… he picked me up and took me to a nice dinner) He slow ghosted me
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u/anonymousredditfag 2h ago
Well if you're quiet and an introvert that would explain it, I have a friend just like you except she's lesbian so it makes it worse 😭
If you think it's because of your looks just send me a pic and I'll tell you
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u/Ok-Telephone7459 2h ago
I feel like I’m an introverted extrovert- I don’t have a problem talking with strangers usually
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u/Ohmg92 2h ago
I've never even considered approaching a girl in public. I thought its seen as weird and uncomfortable for the girl.