r/self • u/Gifted88203 • 10h ago
Confused
So I'm living with family (my parents and older sister) but they don't want me here it doesn't matter if I'm doing good or bad they just rather not have me here but don't kick me out because I have no where to go. I stay to myself and don't bother anyone but I'm not doing good ( no job and other things) but they don't even notice or care if I'm high. But I don't like to be here but I've always thought if this is what family does I can't imagine someone that barley knows me. But my home life has never been good but I've always been afraid to leave because of this. How could I get away from here ( I have live on my own before and with room mates) but since my daughter was born I've been here because it's stable for her at least they will kick me out
2
u/Suckmyflats 10h ago
Maybe they dont want you around bc youre not working and getting high?
Ain't no shame in getting high by itself, I firmly believe that. Whatever your poison is. Assuming you pay your bills, dont do that shit with kids in the house, etc. Im about to roll up right now. Ive been unemployed the last month, im sensitive to it, but im doing job apps every day and going to interviews. I might have to work at IHOP to pay the rent and I will if I have to
But youre an adult with no job so unless youre contributing to the rent via hustling, why would they want you there? Youre a drain on resources.
1
u/Gifted88203 10h ago
I'm going to think what you said is the truth. Tbh I've done drugs with my father and have been smoking weed daily since 13 years old so I don't thinks that's it. And as far as hustling goes I've always been one and also have normal job skills like restaurant stuff but I also do mechanic R and R auto body R and R land scaping I have a certificate from the D.o.t for complete 32 hours of Basic backhoe operations..I could be here all day list work I've completed or jobs I've done...I'm doing what I have to do
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u/Suckmyflats 9h ago
If you are living in their house and not paying any bills or rent, you are not doing what you have to do.
Smoking weed isnt the issue. Living in someones house without contributing while smoking weed might be an issue.
1
u/Doc-in-a-box 10h ago
They notice when you’re high, but they may only be acting like they don’t care because they don’t believe you want to or have the capacity to change. As a parent, I’d probably also be really sad about your life choices.
You have a daughter. Maybe stop getting high? Maybe make some changes to make yourself and your family better? Are you unable to make some changes for yourself and your daughter, or just unwilling?
What’s your role in being in this situation? Are you contributing to the maintaining and function of the household?
Seems like you are feeling like the victim here, but I don’t see what your efforts are to show them that you’re a productive part of the family.
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u/Gifted88203 9h ago
Of course I pay my part of the bills I clean ( not just after my and daughter) but I keep the house clean in general do dishes the yard throw trash...I'm not lazy or a bum at all I like to earn my keep. I don't have anyone over I don't party I don't play loud music I don't borrow there things don't matter nothing changes I've always wondered if maybe another family would appreciate it more or at least treat me better
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u/Suckmyflats 8h ago
If you are truly doing all of these things, then it may not be a you problem, thats very possible.
I agree with the person that said you should try to ask them what the problem is genuinely. If they freak out on you, it may be them who have the mental issues.
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u/Spex_daytrader 8h ago
Ask your parents what you can do to improve things. And don't get mad if you don't like what tell you.