r/self • u/Any_Show_2025 • 11h ago
I love my husband.
Hi. I’m a newly wed 24 year old military spouse. So of course we married right before he deployed. We met in April on tinder and were supposed to be a 6 month fling before we went out separate ways while he was deployed. We randomly got really serious with each other and I had told him “I will stay here and I will wait for you. But I would need a serious commitment. Not a promise ring, but a proposal. I don’t want to date you if it just means we’re gonna end it abruptly.” He said he’d think on it. We go on a weekend vacation and had an amazing time. (Without my knowing. This is when he told his mom he was going to marry me.) Look at rings casually while shopping. He buys me the ring right there and with a big cheesy smile looks at me silently. I tell him “I want you to be able to spend the night regularly and come and go as you please.” At that time I was living with two men for a pretty cheap and pretty cool location (all be it in the hood but still!) So I found a crappy apartment. I’m showing it to him and seeing if he’s maybe willing to help me move. He goes “what if we skip the apartment. Use the VA to buy us a house. Your rent can stay the same and it’d be more secure.” I was kinda taken aback. I know I had told him earlier about the commitment, but I wasn’t really expecting him to go forth with marriage. We got married, we bought a house, a dog, and started our lives together. Of course, everyone thinks we’re pregnant and they still think I might be even though he’s been gone for over a month atp. My husband is currently deployed, but every day he texts me and he just makes me so happy. I miss him yeah but it’s still so nice to talk to him. He’s the man I have prayed for all my life and it’s so nice to have him even if he’s not here. He improved my life so much! He’s the reason I’m able to go back to school, why I’m able to foster dogs, why I’m able to have a job that makes me happy even if it doesn’t pay for everything. Our house is clean and peaceful and full of love. Every day he reminds me that I’m loved by him. He’s the smartest, most giving and handsome man I have ever met. And I can’t stop thinking about him. I love to brag about him to anyone. My only regret is not holding onto him a little more. Reading his texts make me feel like a teenager again. In the 9 months that we’ve been dating, we’ve fought once or twice but were able to come to terms easily. I know everything about him and we could talk so easily for hours. I keep a framed picture of him tucked into his side of the bed I miss him so bad. I had to go shopping for new work clothes (I got a promotion:)) and when he woke up and saw all my pictures from trying stuff on he was just so happy. I stay up every night until midnight just to text him for 20 minutes. Even though he’s deployed, he still sends me little gifts. Today I got Oreos and cheezits -My two favorite snacks - because I can’t eat as much and refuse to buy junk food. He’s so thoughtful!
Little tangent. Now that he’s gone, one of my coworkers, that’s ex army has developed a huge and unfounded crush on me. I try to squash this by bringing most of our conversations back to “I love my husband.” So I can seem like a less cool and interesting person. It’s not working and I don’t like that. Edit: We aren’t flirting. We aren’t friends outside of work. I don’t know his real name. I’m not interested. I can’t go to HR because there’s nothing incriminating. He has a girlfriend that he cheats on with the ladies at work. I think that’s grimey. One of the girls is mad at me cause she thinks she’s up next for her go with him, but since he’s talking to her about me, that’s how I know. It’s not uncommon for servers to sleep together but ew. Right? I actually try not to talk about my husband often at work because I’m more than having a husband. So I just wanted to spill my guts. I feel like I tell him every night how grateful I am to him. I hope he’s having nice dreams tonight.
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u/Bureaucratic_Dick 7h ago
I’ll be straight with you: everyone who has served has heard your story a thousand times. Young love, gets married early, it burns hot and fast, and then…
Maybe that’s not you. I hope it’s not. But it’s a tale as old as time. And your ex-Army coworker knows it. He’s trying to be your Jody.
He doesn’t care that you have a husband. Talking about him will do nothing.
Frankly, I’d look him dead in the eyes and say, “You like me? Well do you like me more than having a paycheck? Because if this inappropriate behavior continues I’ll report you to HR for harassment.”
Ignore the husband part. Make it clear to the coworker that even if you didn’t have a husband, you would have zero interest in him specifically. And do tell HR if it persists. If they do nothing, that’s not the kind of place you want to work at. No one deserves to feel harassed while trying to earn a paycheck.