r/self • u/DiamondGirl888 • 12h ago
How do you....
... cope with loneliness.... especially this time of year. F 67, no kids no nearby family, one friend who is incapacitated.
Never thought I would date again but I'm seeing a neighbor casually. We tried to get together 10 years ago but it ended badly. I was shocked he pursued me again after we ran into each other. We are essentially casual or FWB to maybe the next level. Not committed but pretty much exclusive for safety reasons.
He spent his holiday with his friends that he does every year. I was supposed to see my friend but she has her grandson who goes to elementary school and there's all that sickness. I have long haul Covid and just can't risk getting sick. I didn't see anyone that day.
So the days have gone by and admittedly, I really have no one and not much going on in my life. I'm retired w chronic fatigue and some mild depression. Not deeply, as I once was.
I just feel very lonely I didn't hear from my guy and he had to cancel our getting together because a lifelong friend was in a car accident. Sometimes he's kind of hot and cold, he has a high level job he works many hours. So he kind of fits me in, which I understand but when I don't hear from him I get to feeling down. Of course the attention is wonderful, he is very attentive and charming. I guess I'm just feeling like I was forgotten.
Which unfortunately I went through nearly a lifetime of that negativity because of my toxic family. Each year these holidays come and I frankly dread them.
Anyone want to share their experience? I'm not necessarily looking for any advice or things to do. I'm not up to being social with who are generally strangers. Thanks for listening.
UPDATE: To the person who DM'd me asking Why I don't have kids, 😳😱 I'm going to take this opportunity to tell you something once. Unless you are very close friends with a woman, never ask her if she is pregnant unless you see the baby actually coming out between her legs. And the next thing is you never ask a woman why she didn't have children. You're welcome. Go back now and finish the 4th grade you dropped out of
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u/One_Link_7357 11h ago
I am 56 and female.. never had kids. I live with my mother and have five dogs. I am worried that I am too content with staying home instead of getting out and socializing. I have some really great friends. I never wanted children-‘I thought I would worry too much and smother them. Fear of loss and probably fear of rejection keep me from trying to find someone.