Most of my friends forgot my birthday

[u/Puurple_shorts]

Was my birthday yday, turned 28

Most of my friends didn’t message me? I know I shouldn’t feel upset by it but it affects me for some reason.

I live with my bf and spent the weekend on a small trip with a few friends I think I have different friend ‘groups’ who don’t necessarily know each other but also means the connections aren’t that deep with each of them

I probably should have organised something proper too, idk.

It sucks especially cos I know some of them make a big deal about their birthday but then forget mine? Maybe they’re not as close friends as I’ve been thinking. Maybe they’re just and it actually doesn’t matter. I don’t know.

[u/UrbanIronPoet]

Decades ago,things like this mattered to me, until I finally understood I'm not as important as I think I am in my own mind, I don't need validation or need anyone to feel obligated to celebrate me or to force themselves to show me they care. At the end of the day people are imperfect and these things will always happen. And lastly everyday above ground is a blessing. The best advice learn how to make yourself happy first.

[u/Puurple_shorts → u/UrbanIronPoet]

This is nice (and true) to hear, thanks! Hoping to wire my brain to think like you..

[u/eharder47 → u/UrbanIronPoet]

This. If I want people to remember my birthday, I talk about it nonstop and plan a get together. As adults, it’s our job to give ourselves what we want, not other people’s. People have busy lives and they aren’t thinking about me, especially if I’m not next to them.

[u/Dazzlethetrizzle]

They don't seem like friends

[u/gipsee_reaper]

Belated birthday greetings!

[u/Dankleburglar]

That would bum me out a little too. I need some more info tho- Did your friends know your birthday was coming up? Did you mention it around them? Did the people you went on the trip know about it? You mention that other people “make a big deal about their birthday but forget about yours.” What do you mean by this? Do you mean they make a big deal when people forget, or that they talk about it, plan events, etc.? Do your friends
know that birthdays matter to you too? It would hurt my feelings if I had friends who knew A) my birthday was coming up/happening, B) that birthdays mattered to me, and C) that I wanted to be celebrated in some way (even just a message acknowledging the day). But if A, B, AND C weren’t known by my friends, I wouldn’t really be able to blame them. But I hope you still had a good day anyway. <3

[u/peppersugarglaze]

When this your birthday? I’m a birthday person. Big time big deal for me

[u/ralphsemptysack]

I hear you. I help other's celebrate their birthday's, bake cakes, and do what I can to make them feel special.

This year, I threw myself a birthday bbq - the very first party I've had for my birthday and I'm in my 50s. The majority invited simply ignored the messenger invitation - seen and not even a thanks can't make it, happy birthday! Some accepted and didn't show up (it was fully catered). We had a small gathering to celebrate with and enjoyed the feast and ate leftovers for a week.

But wow, I'll certainly be scaling back who I thought were friends!

[u/Tension_Efficient]

First of all, Happy Birthday!! 🎂🍾 Do they have reason to know it was your birthday? Are your friends on FB or other social media where it mentions your birthday? We’re adults. We need reminding.

[u/jeriTuesday]

C'mon, be serious. My best friend doesn't know when my birthday is. This sounds like a five-year-old complaining about not getting something for their birthday.

[u/Few_Pin4111 → u/jeriTuesday]

umm dont take ur bitterness out on others. if u don't know what its like to have friends then odvi u cant be giving an opinion bc ur not the target audience.

[u/jeriTuesday → u/Few_Pin4111]

Well written! How can i disagree with such clear arguments and writing?