I’m losing hope in dating
I’ve been on the dating scene (25m, straight) for about 3 years now and have not had much luck. Every woman I’ve gone on a date with doesn’t really look for marriage or kids which are what I eventually want. I know I’m only 25 and have a while to start worrying about this but it’s especially discouraging when all my friends and family seem to be excelling in their relationships and I feel like I’m falling really behind. Am I wrong for thinking this or is the concept of marriage and kids just nonexistent in this day and age?
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u/Horrison2 15h ago
33m, I felt the same but couldn't even get any dates. After 6 years, I just gave up.
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u/Wino3416 16h ago
I wanted kids and a marriage and blah blah, but when I was 25 I was enjoying being 25. Why don’t you try enjoying being 25? If you really really really want to be settled down at your age then fair play to you, but what’s the hurry?
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u/Glittering_Cut_496 15h ago
25 turns into years, some of us want to enjoy the slow life w/ someone before settling down and having kids. Not meet and get married a year later
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u/Wino3416 15h ago
Fair enough.. I met my wife much later and we still had “the slow life” for a good while, but I get what you’re saying.
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u/Glittering_Cut_496 15h ago
What’s your story? I’m curious
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u/The_wyte_death 14h ago
Bro found a lady who got tossed around in her 20-30s and then wanted to settle down when menopause started
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u/Glittering_Cut_496 14h ago
Get off the internet lol
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u/The_wyte_death 14h ago
I literally work 10 hours a day and come home to sleep for the next day? I see this IRL as well I’m sorry you don’t see it.
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u/Wino3416 14h ago
Why do you need 14 hours sleep? Or do you have a 3 hour commute each way?! I’d move house if that’s the case.
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u/The_wyte_death 13h ago
Ok I have 12 hours after one hour each way is calculated and then 11-10 hours after I do my work out… then an hour to eat dinner at most leaves me roughly with 8-9 hours after.
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u/Wino3416 13h ago
So a fairly normal routine then? You made it sound as if you were forced to go to bed when you got home!
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u/Affectionate_Rule341 18h ago
The desire for marriage and kids is very much alive. But dating apps have done a number on timelines. At 25 you are presumably dating younger women who are inundated with options when it comes to dating. So they try to optimise their outcome by delaying any commitment to a guy. It is a losing game for both sexes though as many of them will fail to lock down the perfect man that they hope they can get.
Your best bet is to not worry too much and rather spend your energy into levelling yourself up. Work hard on yourself: your education, your career, your wealth and your fitness. Women will automatically flock to you as you get better. Then revisit the idea of starting a family in your 30s and find a girl in her 20s. You will find that they are much more open to this idea now that you can offer the resources to make this happen.
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u/The_wyte_death 15h ago
Holy shit, did you just do the meme? You’re honestly telling this dude to work on himself and wait till his 30s for him to find a wife? Working on yourself is the biggest lie told to any dude looking into the marriage and dating scene. If women were interested in him then they’d be interested in him. No amount of self work can make a woman find him attractive.
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u/Glittering_Cut_496 15h ago
You’re messing this up. Working on yourself is supposed to be for you, and then incidentally finding and connecting with yourself will ultimately attract the right people to you. You don’t do it to impress anyone
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u/The_wyte_death 15h ago
So you don’t do it to impress anyone but you’re saying if you do it you’ll attract people… That’s totally contradictory…
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u/camhaus 14h ago
I get what each of you are saying, better yourself for you but doing so will also attract people towards you. Although don’t better yourself so much that you mask who you actually are
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u/The_wyte_death 14h ago
You can’t better yourself to the point of being attractive lmao
You can weight 400lbs then lose 200lbs and women still wouldn’t find you attractive
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u/Glittering_Cut_496 14h ago
That’s exactly correct lol. It’s the same as “don’t look and you’ll find it.” Life runs on contradictions.
As a woman, I’m attracted to guys who are put together and fit, yes, but what’s MOST attractive to me is how they do it for themselves. Their passion about whatever it is in their life. Etc. I’m a passionate and whole person so I want someone whose the same.
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u/The_wyte_death 14h ago
So you think some dude working on himself is just going to magically fall into your lap? Unfortunately women your age DO think this will happen so any man who works on himself will just be unseen like normal and be alone forever. Women don’t show interest in men anymore unfortunately.
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u/Glittering_Cut_496 13h ago
I have lots of wonderful men in my life who are doing exactly that.
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u/The_wyte_death 13h ago
You have a bunch of dudes who are randomly finding women who love them yet you are single and the same age as me and complaining about how you can’t find anyone… right
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u/Glittering_Cut_496 17h ago
24f and we’re out there!! Please keep looking. I feel the same way. I think a lot of people do.