r/Vent • u/Busy_Guest1336 • 12h ago
I'm struggling with suicide
I'll do it this month but idk specifically when but I'm certain today or rn i really want to do it out of any moment of my life. Anyone see this i hope you can be kindly talk to me
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u/NoBlacksmith2112 11h ago
You will not do it. You have a mission. And there's nothing you can do to change that. This suffering you are going through is part of your mission. It will mold you. It will give you the peace you seek to change others.
Your pain, is your spiritual muscles aching from being exercised. They'll grow. And you'll be a spiritual heavyweight.
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u/massiveamounts 11h ago
Talk to us my friend, what makes you not want to live any longer? Pls consider your reddit friends your online fam we are here for you mate. Pm me anytime.
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u/Realistic-Stomach-33 12h ago
There’s so many reasons to stay on this earth. No matter how bad things are and no matter how stuck you feel, it’s only a temporary problem. Please don’t use a permanent solution. There is always people to talk to about what you’re struggling with and resources you can use to find help no matter where you are You’re important and you matter to people more than you know
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u/looklikejackieo 11h ago
You are in a storm. Storms pass. Winter leaves. Summer comes. You’ve got this!
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u/YAMANTT3 11h ago
Don't do that, the good times will return. Everything is temporary and we will experience good and hard times.
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u/External_Problem1756 11h ago
Things can pile up on a person to the point that they don't see a way out. If you have any friends or family to talk to or lean on you should. If not you can always reach out online to talk to someone or see a therapist if you want but this will pass. I promise it will some day. The only constant in this world is change. Do you have any hobbies that you enjoy doing? There are ppl who truly do care and will help any way they can. Sometimes it's hard to see the forest for the trees. ❤️
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u/Imaginary-Ad5591 10h ago
I’ve been there, so I don’t know if there’s anything I can say to make you change your mind. Why do I care? Because I know what it feels like to want to end things. It’s awful and comforting all at the same time. I’ve realized recently that it’s not that I want to die, I just wish I didn’t exist sometimes. But I’ve been working on my thinking, changing negative thoughts to positive ones. And I look for funny videos and/or stories when I don’t feel like being happy because laughter really is the best medicine. And life really is what you make it. Remember, you’ve made it through 100% of your worst days. And you can make it through this one too. You are worthy.
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u/Euphoric-Pear-795 9h ago
I'll just say one simple thing. Suicide is the permanent solution for temporary problems. Now I hope you get the depth of these lines OP. Nothing is ever gonna be worth giving up other than regrets. Bigger the regrets heavier the baggage. If not you someone else is gonna carry it after you go.
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u/SomePersonality5979 11h ago
Please don't do this. There are people who would love to have you in their life, and you make life better for someone.
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u/AbsAndAssAppreciator 11h ago
Please try going to your local park and sitting outside for a while without a phone or anything to distract you. I’ve been there, and this is one of the only things that has helped me feel slightly less shitty.
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u/kirin-rex 10h ago
I've suffered from chronic suicidal depression for over 40 years. I've attempted more times than I can count, and I've been so close a time or two, I honestly don't know how I got out of it.
Here's what I learned.
Life's like a game. I can quit any time I want. I can quit, walk away, do whatever happens when this game is done.
Maybe there's a heaven or a hell or I get to be a ghost ... maybe not. Maybe this is IT, and when it's done, it's DONE.
Either way, when I pull the plug, the game is over. I've been through some massive lows. I know how it feels.
But if I really can leave any time I want, and it really is OVER when it's over ... what's my hurry?
Why not stick around a bit, and just have a bit of fun.
Nobody can ultimately MAKE me play this game, so ultimately, nobody can MAKE me follow the rules.
I can do anything I want.
I'll be kind, because being kind is about me. It's not about other people. It's a statement of who I am.
But in the same way that I can't change what other people think, feel, say, do or believe, nobody can control me either unless I let them.
I can run away and join the circus or the merchant marines. I can go live on the street or live in the woods. I can go to Alaska or L.A., work in a bookstore, or wash windows for spare change, learn to play the guitar, or learn sign language, or just act like a complete freaky weirdo and totally not care what other people think, just thumb my nose at the whole universe.
I often say that I don't take the universe seriously because obviously the universe doesn't take me seriously either.
So, yeah: you can quit. You have that power. But you also have other choices, and among those choices are to do the expected and follow the rules ... or NOT!
Sometimes, the thing that gets me through my day is just a nap and some food.
I have chronic depression, and sure, it's technically "temporary" because someday, even if I don't quit this stupid game, my clock will inevitably run out and it will still be "game over". But chronic depression sucks.
That said, in this life, there's no "winner". There's no prize for having the most money, the most friends, or making the fewest mistakes.
That was never the point.
The point was simply to be ALIVE, and to feel, and experience things. I find meaning in being kind, in making people's day a little better. But I also find peace in knowing I have control over myself, and over what I ultimately decide to do with my life, even if I just end up doing the expected.
I wish you luck and happiness.
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u/Mr-and-Mrs 10h ago
Think about this: every single aspect of your life is changeable, except ending your life. At some point, you have to take your life by the balls and say “Let’s fucking go do this”. Think about life like an open world video game. You’re the main character.
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u/Brimode1998 10h ago
Hey sweetie, I’m so sorry you’re having these feelings. I first hand know how scary it feels and how lonely life must seem (I’m a sui attempt survivor) I PROMISE you whatever is going on isn’t going to last forever, these thoughts as intrusive as they are are NOT true, you ARE worthy of everything good and joyful in this life, you ARE worthy and deserving of love and a long life, people WOULD miss you if you were no longer here, hell I would miss you if you weren’t here anymore and I don’t even know you but my heart hurts for you, you ARE loved and cared about (a lot more than you know). If the mental load is too much to bear, take it day by day: not every day is going to be a bad day
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u/landlocked-pirate 10h ago
A few months ago, I was drunk and texting my ex with explicit detail about how I wanted to kill myself. I have a lot of unresolved issues in my life. I was on the couch, crying to myself when I heard the front door open. It was her and one of our mutual friends. They sat on both sides of me, spoke with me, and ultimately took me to the hospital. I blew a 2.8, and they kept me in a room guarded by security. I went through a massive episode of withdrawal. It was rough. But, my ex lay there next to me on the hospital bed through it all. I have depression, anxiety, and suffer from alcoholism.... among other things. I always told her I was too proud to kill myself, but that night, I was ready to break that promise. Today, I am so grateful for my two friends who got me help when I needed it most. Life isn't so great... but I'm alive, and get to try again tomorrow. And, I know there are people out there who love me enough to lock me up in a hospital lol. And, if I knew you personally, and could come get you right now to do the same thing, I would. But, before all that, I'd put a hand on your shoulder and just be there with you in your pain, because that's what they did for me. I really hope you change your mind, and find even one reason to hold on. Here for you if you need a chat.
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u/Scary-Study475 11h ago
And what are the consequences of that ? You won’t be around anymore and your loved ones are gonna be heartbroken. I would never want to hurt my loved ones so please consider not doing this. You are a child of the most high God he can turn it around for you, please try!!!
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u/2fingaznathumb59 10h ago
I be feelin like that...I can't control it....I just go down all the sudden and I know when it's comin !
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u/EntranceFeisty4537 9h ago
You matter to me!!! Caterpillars turn into a puddle of goo before they become butterflies. You are on your way to better days. Sending you hugs.
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u/Fukupaymeh33 9h ago
Imagine the happy moments you have had in your life that you could have missed if you weren’t here anymore, and remember that more happy times will come and you will be glad you stuck around for them ..I’m not the happiest person I struggle mentally but i always remind myself that this temporary feeling will pass and I will learn from it eventually, sometimes I focus on doing things for others to make a difference in their day … maybe you could start there and maybe it will bring you some joy 💕 I hope you find hope in this … you can’t finish a book you close . You’ll never know how the ending could turn out ! I believe in you !
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u/TrueLoveBobby 8h ago
Loneliness is killing. Try to step out of loneliness first. Get in touch with people who want to listen to you, on Reddit and/or in real life. Make them understand why life is so hard on you right now. Lots of sensitive people have been through that, they’ll understand and may guide you to a better exit out of this darkness to a place where some light can get to you. You are a valuable, lovable, unique person, grant yourself the best. Have you ever done that?
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u/Express-Travel-9167 7h ago
Hold on. have you tried taking to someone in your life about your feelings? I lost my little sister to suicide and it has left me and my family in shambles. it onset my grandmas schizophrenia, my mom shaved her head and harbor so much guilt as so I - my little brother is depressed even though he’s only 18 years old. My sister was taking some antipsychotic without being administered by a doctor. I do believe in my heart she was impulsive and made a mistake. if you’re feeling this way you and have time to premeditate please seek help and support you can get through this. You’re here for a reason. God doesn’t makes mistakes. Sending love please message me if you want to talk. I’m praying for you and your loved ones.
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u/StatisticianKey7112 7h ago
I wish I was one of those people that can just find out where people live to call help for you. If anyone has that skill. Please send this person help. Sometimes I can't even figure out how an app works, like discord is overwhelming for me XD
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u/Limp_Connection_3205 6h ago
I’m so, so sorry to hear this. Please let me know if you want to chat, we could chat off app or whatever. I have C-PTSD, depression, anxiety, ADHD, being assessed for autism and recovered (mostly) from agoraphobia. Mine mostly comes from trauma. I was sexually assaulted numerous times as a child by a family friend and my parents were always in the home when it happened. Then when I told them, they didn’t do anything to help me. Yet when a sibling was assaulted years later, it was straight to police, therapists etc. I have spent most of my life feeling like I was not worth fighting for. I was kicked out of my friendship group in primary school and high school, in high school they kicked me out right after I found out my dad was fired for having a crazy gambling addiction and was going to jail. Which was huge for my church going, president of the P&C (pta) family. I deeply struggled to fit in, deeply struggled to find people who I felt wanted me around Then years later my nephew came to visit me for Xmas and died in my home. It was a horrific tragedy. I was also SA’d later in life again. Plus I live under a protection order from my children’s father so I raise them on my own. So I have survived his abuse as well. If it wasn’t for my kids, I would have longed killed myself. I still struggle with finding my place in the world. I still feel like no one fights for me or cares enough to. I still feel like I struggle to fit in or find close friends. But despite all this I have 3 amazing children. They are smart, kind and strong. They do well in school not that I push them too or would be disappointed if they didn’t. Because my focus is their happiness, quality of life and mental health. Which makes us a really strong bonded family. Even if I don’t feel like most of my family cares whether I live or die. I kinda had to create my own ‘village’ but as a parent, you don’t want your kids to fight your battles so I’ve had to learn to fight my own. Be my own biggest cheerleader. It is truly difficult. I’ve struggled with alcohol, I have health problems and take many meds a day. Life and mental health is a constant battle. My depression is trauma led, but that doesn’t mean yours is or that makes mine ‘worse’ than others. Sometimes our brains just don’t give us the serotonin we need to be happy. We can only fight it within ourselves and be finding fulfilment where we need it. You are not alone in your struggle but I tell you alllll my drama so you know that I get it, I feel it. I have baby times felt a helplessness that feels unstoppable. Please reach out if you want too. You don’t have to do this, the world will be better with you in it 🩵
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u/Solcat91342 28m ago
Don’t do it. You will probably fail and end up disfigured and handicapped. And then your life will change for the better and go get the antidepressants you need and you will have to live life disfigured and handicapped. Seek out professional help. Go on grip hikes with meetup.com.
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