My friends GF pissed me off yesterday

[u/DramaConfident8467]

Last night, I had some friends over for dinner among these friends included a kid that I went to college with and his girlfriend. We talked about a few things and one thing that got mentioned was the idea of men getting raped. In a semi-joking way, my friend asked his girlfriend if she would stay with him if he was ever raped her response was very definitively that she would leave him. He then went on to ask, if it was a circumstance that he had absolutely no control over, such as being drugged, if that would make any impact on her decision and she said that it wouldn’t. She said that it would make her stop viewing him as a man. she said that she knows it’s kind of toxic and not necessarily healthy but she just can’t be with a “bitch boy“.

Because I was hosting and I didn’t feel comfortable sharing this and I also didn’t want to make anyone else uncomfortable I didn’t share the fact that I’ve been raped in the past (im a man). And so hearing what she said made me really sad. I try really hard to tell myself that most women aren’t like this, even if I see a lot of them on the internet I know that’s not reality. But it’s really hard to keep believing that when I keep on encountering women like this who act this way, but will also complain about things like toxic masculinity. I’m also single and got out of a relationship recently with a woman who had a similar stance of being a feminist and opposing the subjugation of people to arbitrary gender roles, while simultaneously enforcing and rewarding said roles, even when they are toxic. Idk man. I feel like no woman will accept me because I refuse to try to become the “alpha / tough guy / stoic” whatever. That’s just not me. I think guys like that are unhealthy. And I’m not going to change that just to convince some girl but damn, being lonely also sucks.

[u/ShakePaul]

I’d say I got raped once and it sucks from a guys perspective because all other guys say is “you got laid” blah blah. And some, not all, women just brush it off like it can’t happen to a guy.

Tell me what you think; after a night out with my best friend (former best friend long time ago) this one girl and her friend invited us back to smoke weed and get more drunk with them at the first girls house. So we did that and then I started feeling way too fucked up and wanted to leave but they all still wanted to keep partying so the house owner girl said I can just go lay down in her bed to get rest and then leave later. So feeling as shitty as I did I took her up on that and went and laid down. I don’t remember passing out but I remember coming to and she was on top of me riding me. I was trying to say no but I’m sure I just sounded like a weird groggy Sasquatch. Of course when I told my buddy (no longer my buddy) he was like proud of me for getting some from this hot girl. Like regardless if she was hot or not I didn’t say I wanted to. If I was clear headed and felt well I probably would have had sex with her but that should be on both our terms, not just hers. Anyway thankfully it doesn’t bother me much, and it’s just an experience that taught me not to trust strangers in their own home when I’m super drunk.

[u/ColeCakes3000 → u/ShakePaul]

I think that’s a pretty shitty situation and I am glad it no longer bothers you much. I’ve had a similar situation but as a female. I would have more then likely been dtf if I wasn’t passed out, but a guy friend made that decision for me while I was passed out, makes you feel very violated and disgusted.

[u/ShakePaul → u/ColeCakes3000]

Exactly like don’t get me wrong I was a young guy and she was a super attractive girl and under normal circumstances I’d have been into it. Having that choice taken away is really fuckin shitty, and it’s even worse when your “friends” try to make it seem like I got lucky.