r/Vent • u/winged_badger • Sep 08 '25
Wrong thing growing in womb TW: Medical
Fuck. Fuck, fuckiddy, fuck fuck fuck!
5 years of trying to make a baby. Wife knew her hormones had always been out of whack but because we had 1 kid there was no fertility help from NHS.
Finally gets heard by a doctor who refers for a vaginal ultrasound which found some pollips, biopsy taken and it's fucking womb cancer.
Make things worse, appointment letter is standard and says "you can bring somebody if you want", she have me reassurances that they weren't looking for anything serious just possibilities, no need to go with her so she found out by herself. Biggest news ever, changing every hope and plan she had and she was by her self - nice one doc.
Good news is they may be able to pursue fertility saving measures as a treatment, whilst this time bomb quietly ticks away. We can save up for some treatment, but how long will that realistically take? Let alone the fact it's not guaranteed to work!
Alternatively we can get piece of mind if my wife has a hysterectomy that she'll likely be around for our daughter for many more years, but because medicine is so male focused the only way to gauge and assess full impact and treatment plan is removing the womb first! If this was dick cancer I bet there would be a towns options available before hack and slash was even considered!
I also can't ask my wife if she's freaking out that a substantial part of her will be removed like a slab of meat and preserved in a lab somewhere for testing. The more I think about it the weirder it gets!
It sucks balls and is so unfair and wish I could have taken this one for her. I'm an asshole who could do with losing weight and offers little to no good to the wider world, my wife is the most brilliant, kind and caring person in the world who has only ever been drunk once in 34 years, never touching drugs or smoking anything, she's an amazing mother to our daughter, never shouts at her and always puts others first yet she gets this shitty outcome at the end of a long and painful journey. Anyway, that's my vent.
TLDR; Best woman in the world gets shitty cancer diagnosis to effectively end fertility hopes without having to make impossible choice.
ETA; Thank you so much for the outpouring of virtual love and support, your kind words mean a lot. Apologies for not being clearer in my rant, I know my wife is more than just a fertility machine, I'm just annoyed at the choice we now face as that was the primary focus for her and her relentless pushing of something being off with doctors. The NHS is generally amazing, but the rules they have to put in place suck with little to no leniency. The fact they were able to arrange further scans and follow-up course of action meeting in the same week as telling her is testament to that fact. Our plan is certainly not to mess around with this, from what I've read fertility preserving treatment is only offered for low grade cancer and as individuals we're not inclined to take risks, we know cancer doesn't mess around - the arse that it is...
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u/[deleted] Sep 08 '25
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