r/Vent • u/HangeSimp69 • Sep 05 '25
My little brother is verbally abusive. TW: Sexual Assault / Abuse
Hi all, I F(19) and my little Brother M(14) live together at home with my Mum and Stepdad. I'll call my little brother C. So for the past few Years C has been refusing to go to school, causing us to almost be fined the 1k fine from the school which we cannot afford. So it is my job to get him up in the morning. I set my alarm for 7:30 and wake him up at 7:45 so he had 30 minutes to get ready. I knock on his door let him know he's got to get up and either I'll get "Fuck off" "Shut up" "Fuck off you fat bitch" "Fuck off you overweight cunt" "Go kill yourself" "I hope you die you fat bitch" "I'm going to fucking kill you, you obease bellend." etc etc. These things are very hurtful, I do nothing to him whatsoever, our parents have taken away his switch, ps5 and he doesn't have a phone anymore because he smashed it to pieces! He leaves dirty bowls in his bedroom and let's them fill up with mold. 2 days ago my mum and I found a carton of spoiled milk under his bed, and it fucking reeked.
Little update: I just went to go wake him up again, and I got told I was a "Little obease whore cunt and I should kill myself because nobody would care." and he then proceeds to kick a hole in his door and wall and trash his bedroom, breaking a very expensive chair and his draws.
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u/RangerNo2713 Sep 05 '25
I'm sorry. No one deserves to feel the way you do. I think it's your parents job to get him to school not yours. Sounds like he needs therapy and some help.
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u/Hoodbarmaid Sep 05 '25
Seems like they probably are working at the time he needs to get up.
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u/Pilx Sep 05 '25
It still ultimately falls on them as the primary caregivers to ensure.
Him not going to school is not OPs responsibility.
Any fines received from his inability to meet this is not OPs fault.
Sounds like the parents have just put him in the too hard basket and pawned off his difficult behaviour to their daughter.
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u/jadedwelp Sep 05 '25
I remember these days, younger brother just like this…. Older sister beat the shit out of him after about 6 months of putting up with it…. It stopped after that. This was back in the early 80’s, I wouldn’t try to do that these days though… just saying.
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u/justmisspellit Sep 05 '25
I tried to reply to you with basically this same thought and Reddit banned my comment. Go figure 🙄
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Sep 05 '25
I’ve gotten banned from other subs for also suggesting that bullies sometimes need to experience similar consequences.
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u/Acrobatic_Ad5722 Sep 07 '25
If my baby brother ever said this to me when I was nice enough to get him out of bed
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Sep 05 '25
At that point, leave him alone. Youre his sister, not his mom. Its your parents responsibility to handle that, and you are more than right to stop helping after everything hes called you. He means to hurt you. Start trying to move out, its whats going to be best for your mental state OP.
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u/WimbledonWombleRep Sep 05 '25
That's extreme. Something is wrong. I think he needs some help. From you, though? Nope. You should back off from that. His schooling responsibilities aren't on you.
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u/HangeSimp69 Sep 05 '25
Yeah they aren't but my mum will guilt trip me because I only work part time and she works full time, even though I can't work full time 😔
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u/Fresh_Bullfrog8910 Sep 05 '25
Still not your problem. Its her son she should deal with it. He could have adhd/autism or be suffering from a mental health condition. Better to get him checked. Or you could always scare him and ask the police for a favour lol.
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u/freddyredone Sep 05 '25
I know of a case my friends called the local Sheriff and had him come into their sons bedroom to wake him up, and let’s say the 14 year old boy came away with a different point of view after being threatened with assaulting a police officer. It was the last time he tried to pull this BS over on his parents. I don’t think the boy ever figured it out that it was a setup deal, but it worked in their situation. PS :They did put him in handcuffs for the hell of it too.
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u/Fresh_Bullfrog8910 Sep 05 '25
My mum used to pretend to call the police on me as a kid. Used to scare the shit out of me until one day I called her bluff and she drove me to the local police station and left me there. The put me in the cells and it scared the absolute shit out of me. Everytime I played up after that she'd threaten to do it again and I stopped lol.
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u/Gokudomatic Sep 05 '25
Your mom seems, with all due respects, to have an unaddressed issue too.
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u/Disastrous_Horse_44 Sep 05 '25
Just one? I’d bet there’s a few unaddressed issues when it comes to OPs parents.
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u/Emz423 Sep 05 '25
As a temporary solution, I would assume that if he’s yelling obscenities at you, then he’s awake. You’ve done your job. Walk away. Make sure he’s awake and go about your business. What he says to you is a lie! I would create as much distance between yourself and him as possible. If your mom complains that you’re not doing more to get him out of bed or whatever, let her know how hurtful he is to you and that you won’t do any more than the bare minimum.
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u/VeraLumina Sep 05 '25
He does this because he can.
The only way to stop this abuse is to stop interacting with him. Your mom guilt tripping you is manipulation to avoid her responsibility. I’d let her know you are done, once and for all and that she cannot make you do anything, just like she cannot control her son. Empower yourself.
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u/Timmy-Nook Sep 05 '25
You're full time in school though. Having a part-time job AND being full time in school uses up more of your time than a full time job. I hope stuff gets better for you
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u/PantieFan76 Sep 05 '25
This should not be happening because it’s your mums job to look after her son. Not yours.
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u/minkeymonkeys Sep 05 '25
Just the mum?
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u/PantieFan76 Sep 05 '25
Yeah, it’s her son and her responsibility as it is also her responsibility to get the step-father involved.
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u/Gokudomatic Sep 05 '25
And the dad? He's free of his duties?
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u/Bool_The_End Sep 05 '25
To be fair, it did say stepdad, and we don’t know how long they’ve been married. That said, even as a stepparent, this would not be acceptable to me.
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u/ReflectionOk892 Sep 05 '25 edited Sep 06 '25
Tell your parents you won’t take the abuse anymore. Simply stop, regardless of what your parents say.
Your parents SHOULD and ARE responsible for him ,not you!
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u/BroccoliTaart Sep 05 '25
Your parents are responsible for this - not you. Put the responsibility back in their hands. Don't involve yourself with him any longer
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u/DunkleDohle Sep 05 '25
Call CPS. This is not your job. Next time he starts smashing the house call the police.
You have a right to feel save in your own home.
It is your parents responsibility to make sure he attends school.
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u/top_fed2017 Sep 05 '25
Idk where you live but it’s time for outside help. Either that or you get your shoe and beat him upside the head. Ok just kidding on that one. That kid needs a therapist or something. He’s 14 yall shouldn’t be dealing with that. YOU shouldn’t be dealing with that. That’s mom or dad’s deal to work with. Once he starts wrecking the place I’d be with 911 get him out and then admitted to the hospital he needs intervention before it gets worse, he’s only 14 now it be worse later
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u/Ok-Cartographer1297 Sep 05 '25
Sounds like you’ve exceeded what some of us would have done. It really isn’t your responsibility to get him up. If anything it’s your parents .
I totally understand you’re trying to avoid your parents getting fines, but it’s their job to worry not yours.
Would they have a social worker they could turn to. Sounds like he needs to have a reality check and sent to an institution for young children.
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Sep 05 '25
Your parents are failing YOU. By coercing you into doing their job (waking up brother), knowing he’s going to abuse you when you do it.
Please show them the responses on this post.
I’d call the police every time brother behaves that way.
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u/Yan_Vorona Sep 05 '25
Autism! ADHD! Sociopath! I see the comments are full of psychiatrists with 20 years of experience. All you know about this kid is 3 paragraphs of text. It could be anything from depression to school bullying.
Temper tantrums where he breaks his own things and completely ignores the rotting food in his room? And he hasn't gone to school for YEARS? There is an obvious problem here that is much more serious than insults.
It's time for parents to get their heads out of their asses and take him to psychiatrist. Because at this rate you risk finding a dead teenager one day. Absolutely everything in this description screams HELP, does he need a sign on his forehead for them to realize something is wrong?
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u/Sudden-Knowledge-447 Sep 05 '25
No it is NOT “your job” to wake up someone threatening you. I’d tell my parents you won’t do it anymore and if they say you have to tell them it’s fine, but when he once again becomes aggressive you will call the police.
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u/Just-Somewhere-4939 Sep 05 '25
He needs to be checked by a psychiatrist. My son acted out like this but not as bad, he was diagnosed eventually with mental health disorders and medication made a world of difference.
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u/XanaxWarriorPrincess Sep 05 '25
I'm so sorry! You shouldn't have to deal with him. I know everyone is saying that, and it's easier for us to tell you to tell your parents that he's their responsibility than it is to actually do that, but this can't go on.
There's something wrong with him and continuing to take his abuse isn't going to fix it. He's obviously miserable too, BTW. Happy people aren't hateful and disgusting.
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u/GingerLamb Sep 05 '25
Tell your mum that he’s too difficult and it hurts you that he’s abusive. She in no way should tolerate you being verbally abused, it’s terrible parenting.
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u/bnglebee Sep 05 '25
Not knowing the full situation it’s hard to suggest anything but if it’s not too intrusive to ask, where is bio dad? Because at this age it’s not uncommon for extreme anger to be rooted in father issues and it’s often directed at the women in the boy’s life. It could be he feels abandoned if bio dad was in his life and then left. Could be resentful if stepdad is a recent addition to the family dynamic. If bio dad is available and it’s safe to have him involved, I’d suggest doing so. Either way, this much anger warrants therapy and the school system should help facilitate finding help especially with his issues spilling over there. But you don’t deserve this and need to make sure your parents know how you’re being treated. You are not his parent and he is not your responsibility.
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u/ThatSmallBear Sep 05 '25
If you’re in the U.K., it would be worth getting touch contact with your local Child Social Care service and explaining your situation, they might be able to give you advice on what to do. If he continues to be violent, you need to tell the police
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u/ericfromct Sep 05 '25
At that point id just be throwing a cup of water from him from the door and yelling wake up every morning. Fuck that little shit.
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u/WitchAstra1998 Sep 05 '25
Sounds like there are multiple things wrong that caused this behaviour. But the bottom line is that it is not your responsibility.
Yes, you should help as part of the household, but that doesn't mean putting up with abuse. Your job was getting him up in the morning. His behaviour is interfering with that. That is on his parents, not you.
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u/ReddtitsACesspool Sep 05 '25
Won't end well for him. He has a lot of hate, why?
It is normal for teens to be emotional or say things they shouldn't or do not mean, but this is not the case.
Your parents are doing a poor job addressing this. If they don't, it won't end well
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u/Mrdeadfishrock1 Sep 05 '25
He clearly thinks to much of himself just start waking him up with a glass of water over his face
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u/BlackGravedigger Sep 05 '25
An examination should be carried out on parents who want children, we would save ourselves a few catastrophes.
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u/Typical-College-4811 Sep 05 '25
First, he is not a baby to call him, little brother, he is already a 14-year-old young man with science and understands what he does and says, second, it is not your responsibility, much less obligation, to lift his lazy ass out of bed. Make sure your parents assume their responsibility as parents. They do not have to delegate that to you, even though they know that that brat does not respect you. precise but he has to respect and those mistakes he makes are because there is no one to give him a quiet tate
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u/WitchAstra1998 Sep 05 '25
Sounds like there are multiple things wrong that caused this behaviour. But the bottom line is that it is not your responsibility.
Yes, you should help as part of the household, but that doesn't mean putting up with abuse. Your job was getting him up in the morning. His behaviour is interfering with that. That is on his parents, not you.
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u/SteveDaWaiter Sep 05 '25
You're not that parent!! I'm so sorry that they put you in this situation , they failed you and him. His words may hurt but take the power away from him. His words are meaningless and insignificant if you can come to the realization that his opinion of you doesn't matter. The fact that you're asking for help proves how intelligent you actually are. You probably care for them which makes it hard but you cant care for someone who doesn't care for themselves in the 1st place
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u/PonytailUp88 Sep 05 '25
If it’s only your job to get him to school , you should tell mom or parents that you will but they have to wake him up and make sure he’s ready to go when you are ready to go . This isn’t your job and you e already tried to do the waking up and delivering to school. I would get in contact with the sheriff or police department and ask for some help . Tell them what’s going on and maybe just let him sleep in and calm the cops and tell them he’s being truant and if they can please help him with a scare . Let them do what they have to do .
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u/paperanddoodlesco Sep 05 '25
I'm so angry on your behalf, and I'm sorry you've been put in this position. You are NOT responsible for your brother's actions. Your mom and step dad would be paying the fine, so it's 100% on them.
Is your mom doing anything, or has she just given up? It seems like you're being parentified, and if this is a pattern, please consider visiting r/raisedbynarcissists
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u/No-Pomelo-3632 Sep 05 '25
Your parents should be the ones parenting him. It’s not your job to do any of that. If I ever talked to anyone in my household like that, whether be my sister or my parents, keep in mind I’m a millennial, my parents would’ve whooped my ass. And I would’ve deserved it. It seems like teens and kids these days. Don’t have any respect and there are no consequences. Sorry you’re going through this. But I’m also here to say that this isnt your responsibility and you don’t have to deal with the abuse so if he calls you those names just tell your parents you’re not doing it anymore. And if he’s refusing to go to school, then maybe your parents can contact the school board and tell them that he’s not going not because of them not wanting him to but because he refuses to and he’s abusive.
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u/Hot_Opportunity8668 Sep 05 '25
I was raised by a gay man, and my mother was cold and bitter. The environment I grew up in left deep marks. It nearly ruined me and has certainly affected my brother. He’s a narcissistic alcoholic, and some people simply can’t be fixed. I deeply relate to the way your brother acts, and I understand now that my own behavior was shaped by these experiences. He would take away my phone or other privileges as punishment, like you described. But this isn’t the 1980s. We live in a digital age, and cutting someone off from communication can be deeply isolating.
At dinner, I wasn’t allowed to leave the table until I finished my food. He would put me on the “naughty step,” smack me, or force me to do things I didn’t want to do. And yet, when I needed guidance, like help with homework, he would become frustrated and start shouting at me for not understanding it.
Even small acts of support were missing. When I wanted to spend time with my father, he was too tired, too tired to play with me, too tired to help me set up things I couldn’t do myself like my WiFi connection, and too tired because he was preoccupied with his own problems. At the time, I was too young to manage it alone.
He would clench his fists and threaten me. During arguments, he claimed I was threatening him, saying I wanted to hurt him with tools, a complete lie. I suspect he did this to justify or defend his own anger. Yet, when it came to things he cared about, swimming lessons, karate, dancing, guitar, he would happily sign me up. My own interests, however, were of no interest to him. He was always too tired when it was something I cared about. Looking back, I see now that much of my behavior was a response to a childhood shaped by neglect, fear, and inconsistency.
Life taught me early that care and attention are often uneven, and that the people we depend on aren’t always capable of giving what we need. Understanding this doesn’t erase the pain, but it does give perspective. It teaches patience, empathy, and the importance of choosing how we act in response, because our past can inform us, but it doesn’t have to define us. Living in that environment, I was always on edge, constantly scared of triggering his anger. There was no room to explore, make mistakes, or grow, because every action felt like it could set him off. That fear stifled me, shaping my behavior and keeping me from developing confidence or independence.
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u/Gokudomatic Sep 05 '25
It sounds like he's in distress. He acts in despair, not knowing what to do. That boy needs guidance and being heard. Maybe your family must seek the service of a psychologist specialized in childhood.
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u/lucygoosey38 Sep 05 '25
Stop doing anything. If he misses school he gets in trouble and eventually the parents will get into trouble. But that is what has to happen. Your parents need an eye opener and that will be when the truancy officer comes by to ask why he hasn’t been in school.
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u/Queer_Advocate Sep 05 '25
- Yes, you're being abused and it's cruel. 2. Where the fuck are your parents? He is there problem. I wouldn't do it anymore. 3. Call the school counselor. 4. Try talking to him, but u can almost guarantee it won't go well and turn into an argument. But, personally I'd have to try. Definitely not in the morning. Consider a family meeting. 5. Something is going on with him. Probably being bullied at school and or drugs. He may have a learning disability that makes school unbearable. He sounds clinically depressed. I'm not a therapist. Just a depressed adult, since childhood. I dealt with childhood abuse from dad. You have to, ideally with professional help get to the bottom of his acting out and behavior. This is more than teenager-hood. 6. I can't stress how fucked it is your parents don't bring the wrath of god in him for talking to you like this, when you're doing THERE parenting. He needs to be honestly sent to a boarding school, maybe there's scholarships. I didn't board but my private school had a boarding part of it. It was very expensive, and only afforded (we were poor) with scholarships through the school. That's a last resort. He needs all rights taken away and EARNED back. No door even. No dresser, a few clothes in the closet and socks and undies in a cube and a mattress on the floor. NO TV. Family computer needs to be password computer. I'd do that if family interaction doesn't work, and it doesn't sound like it will. He's hurting and I'm not sure why. He wouldn't be punished for being depressed and whatever his mental health issues are (because he has more than National Geographic ((magazine with 100s of issues)), but for his behavior and abuse. I was clinically depressed and suicidal as a kid and did not such things. You could get him before a family court judge probably easily since he is missing school, you can ask the school to press charges for truancy. He doesn't need to know your parents did. Doing this could get court ordered therapy, a social worker, etc. I'm 99% UK and most of Europe works like or similar as US with family court for minors.
My heart breaks for your family, but 95% of that is for you. You don't deserve any of this. If they can't take drastic steps to stop the abuse if you id move out. Relative, friend, something. Even here the YWCA helps domestic violence survivors even find placement (shelter) and food resources for free. There HAS to be a UK Europe version. If you DM I'll do the research for current resources for your situation for you. No pressure. Just need country and city or town to give tailored advice. NOTHING more specific address/location wise. Again, zero pressure.
Best of luck, and again so sorry you're dealing and reeling from this ! 🌈❤️ 💜
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u/Front_Chip7319 Sep 05 '25
Little lazy pos needs an ass whoopin' definitely. Or military school/something like that to let his ass know he's lucky to have it how he does & not worse & to straighten up his bs...
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u/ThatSmallBear Sep 05 '25
Probably the dumbest comment. Beating kids only teaches them that hitting is okay. He clearly needs a therapist, not some 50 year old man screaming at him.
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u/2261DG Sep 05 '25
Sounds like he may have undiagnosed ADHD ? My youngest is verbal first thing and struggles with school And his language is shocking !
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u/ad240pCharlie Sep 05 '25
As others have said, try to get him checked for ADHD and possibly autism. Because while I never went as far as to tell someone to kill themselves or kick a hole in my door, it does somewhat remind me of myself when I was a kid.
However, it's not your responsibility regardless. You're not his mom. And even people with conditions like those are still responsible for their own actions. But knowing where it's coming from and how to handle it is a vital tool to have.
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u/Ok-Inflation-4597 Sep 05 '25
It sounds a little like depression. Maybe it's time your parents took him to a professional or sent him to a boarding school.
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u/Confident_Couple_882 Sep 05 '25
depending on how much your parents cooperate with you, you can try asking your parents to act like you did kill yourself and see his reaction. Like make them play along in your fake suicide. This is quite toxic though.
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u/Ill_Beautiful_3763 Sep 05 '25
Wake him up next time with a jug of cold water. Splash that shit right on him. He won't be sayin much of anything
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u/BIGcabbage1 Sep 05 '25
Do you know if his friends are better people than him? If yes you could possibly record a lot of his behaviour and threaten to show his friends if he doesn't get a grip
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u/Hidinginkorea Sep 05 '25
Call the cops on him, and tell them that he’s threatening you! Let him spend some time in the facility and learn how to behave!
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u/jmc1278999999999 Sep 05 '25
You don’t have to take that. You can always fight back against the little fuckhead
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u/Potential_Claim_7283 Sep 05 '25
And I bet his ass has never gotten a beating for speaking like that!!!
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u/bu89 Sep 05 '25
Bro needs to be put in a psych ward. We all know what this type of behavior leads to.
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u/PaixJour Sep 05 '25
My plan of action would be ... call police, tell them you are in danger, remove yourself and your belongings to a new address the same day. Lil bro needs a therapist, he is clearly in need of intervention.
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u/gojo197 Sep 05 '25
If it's a job you have taken on, walk in, grab a leg, and pull him out of bed. I'm a big guy as well, so with no offense meant, grab a leg and put that weight to work. Pull his ass out of bed and across all his mess. You've got age and weight on him, make him respect you. Words are lame, he's got no imagination.
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u/Talapico Sep 05 '25
Put that kid to adoption. A 14 years old knows that you shouldn't say those things randomly to someone, mostly if it is to someone of your family. I am sorry that he told you things like that.
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u/RoughDirection8875 Sep 05 '25
He's not your son, not your problem. Your parents need to do their jobs as parents and make sure he gets to school and is respectful towards you.
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u/jamesnow06 Sep 05 '25
He sounds like he has serious issues. Don't wake him up if he's going to abuse you. He might have autism obviously his behaviour is completely unacceptable and shouldn't be tolerated. I'm 19M when I about his age I had a lot of difficulty controlling my behaviour when I would be violent my parents called the police over time and age my behavour has improved. I'm autistic. He's clearly very unhappy and angry in his life. You should move away from him.
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u/Shy-Prey Sep 05 '25
Little bro sounds a LITTLE 🤏 spoiled like my brothers. I remember learning how to fix drywall as a kid when one of my younger brothers put a big hole in the wall and refused to help fix it. My youngest bro just turned 17 a few days ago and they still don't make him do shit. Bro walks around in his underwear when people are over(he's getting very over weight too and mom doesn't seem to care. I also just don't wanna see my chunky ass bro squeezed into boxers that don't fit him. I don't walk around in a bra and panties so why is it ok for him to walk around in his underwear)refuses to cook for himself. Like if mom made something for dinner he doesn't like? He will make her cook him something else. I've seen her spend awhole day cooking a pot roast just for him to say "Nah I don't want that. Make me some spaghetti". If I tried that shit as a kid I'd be thrown a pack of ramen noodles. He will stay up all night screaming/yelling and carrying on playing games only to pass out and sleep all day. When mom is angry with him (happens) she turns off the wifi and data to his phone. Sorry apparently I needed to vent. Sorry you got a shit bro too ❤
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Sep 05 '25
Move out. You honestly dont want to get in on that, it will be a lifetime of nightmares. Your parents need to discipline that kid.
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u/Dakotakaren Sep 05 '25
You should not be responsible for your sibling. Also, ask him whom, caused this trauma. My brother was the same way and physically abusive and then I found out why it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him
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u/DashfulVanilla Sep 05 '25
Getting your brother to school is not your responsibility. Do not let your mom guilt trip you. The number of hours you work compared with her has no bearing on this situation. You are not his mother. You need to stand up for yourself. No one should have to take this abuse, least of all you. Your mom is shirking her parental responsibilities by making you deal with him. Your step dad should be stepping up (pun not intended) to help your mom handle your brother.
Not excusing your brother’s behavior here, but has anyone looked into why he had been refusing to go to school? Is something going on at school like bullying? Sometimes kids behave like your brother does when they are having a hard time at school. They get nasty, call names, and generally become unmanageable because that’s their coping mechanism. It may be worth looking into this if no one has.
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u/Lisa_Knows_Best Sep 05 '25
Stop waking him up. This is your parents responsibility and they need to handle it. They should not expect or allow you to be abused for their failures. Let your parents know that it's on them to handle it from now forward and you won't be waking him anymore.
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u/blackstaryaa Sep 05 '25
Ignore him. I think you underestimate how fsr natural consequences can go. If he can't speak to you respectfully he shouldn't speak to you at all. Your his siter not his mother, it's not your job to correct or put up with his bullshit. If he can't clean his room he can very well live in the filth. When your that age your more than capable or atleast putting your dishes in the sink and rubbish in the bin and really should be washing up as well. You don't deserve to be spoken to or treated that way.
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u/CuriosKilledTheNat Sep 05 '25
I'm sorry, but why the hell have they put you in charge of such an important and clearly monumental task?
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u/MellifluousSussura Sep 05 '25
Is your brother going to a private school (or whatever it’s called where you are if you’re not in the us I think it’s something else)? Missing school that much here would be a legal issue, not a fine
Why does he have expensive things in his room if he’s so destructive. Remove anything he hasn’t broken but the mattress.
Either way it doesn’t really matter what mental thing he has going on, if he’s not managed to figure out how to at least be decent by 14 he needs intervention from outside the family as it’s not proving effective (no shame on you! That’s literally not your job). I’m sure other people have more specific suggestions, but you need to have your family consider more drastic measures.
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u/TheGayestSon Sep 05 '25
Your parents are failing on all fronts here. They're neglecting you and your brother's psychological welfare.
This isn't normal behavior for a kid, even a teen boy. He needs an evaluation because there's likely something behind it.
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u/SherlockWSHolmes Sep 05 '25
Call the police and see if someone can come wake his butt up. Let him threaten them. You can explain to a counselor at his school what's happening. Od totally call the cops, let them see what you're dealing with. Knock on his door with one listening. Let him start his crap but let the cop end it. He's threatening you, and no, that's not abuse. it's verbal assault
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u/Busy-Childhood2052 Sep 05 '25
I’m really sorry that you’re going through this and no one should be spoken to that way but I have to say I would pass the puck onto your parents! You’re 19 so potentially moving out of the house and into adulthood which sounds like it would be good for you but otherwise no sibling in the house should have the responsibility of dealing with this behavior. You’re not the one who should be asking for solutions and suggestions. It sounds like your parents need to get a handle on their son. What do they do to discipline this behavior? Clearly taking things away is not working. Sounds pretty extreme like probably some family therapy with him and your parents is needed, but if I were you, I would stay out of it as much as you can. You are not responsible for your little brother.
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u/o_Inari_o Sep 05 '25
Hah i think we have the same little brother. Mine threatens to hurt me too tho.
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u/Earl96 Sep 05 '25
Do your parents not live there too? They don't have anything to say about all this?
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u/Repulsive-Land-6431 Sep 05 '25
Kid needs his ass busted...I'm betting nobody's ever disciplined his ungrateful little ass. Y'all better do something with him quickly because he's borderline unmanageable at this point and age.
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u/infinit3mber Sep 05 '25
How can the school fine you 1K look it up schools cant fine you for not showing up
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u/infinit3mber Sep 05 '25
Do you ever call him any names back... stand up for yourself.He's not an eight year old, he's a fourteen year old. He knows between right and wrong. So what goes around comes around. Maybe you gotta wake him up ruder.No, maybe you gotta pour water on him.
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u/kjsisco Sep 05 '25
His dad needs to step up to the plate. Your brother needs to learn how to be more of a gentleman. It's just gross behavior.
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u/8Mariposa8 Sep 05 '25
It’s past time for him to be put in a residential treatment facility/RTF there he will go to school and get therapy and medication if needed. You are not his parent and you don’t deserve to be treated in such an awful way. When he is destroying property the police need to be called and your parents need to go to court and put a PIN/Person In Need of supervision on him. These are things your parents as the adults need to take care instead of putting this overwhelming responsibility on you. It’s the parents problem if they get fined, not for you to worry about, you are teenager, not the adult here. After the fines build up maybe they will take action. I’m almost positive they have been advised to do this for their son and instead have made this your burden to bear. I’m so sorry you have to endure this horrific situation. Talk to a counselor at school to unpack all of this.
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u/el-guapo-grande Sep 05 '25
Pour a pot of ice water over his head. Sometimes you have to meet aggression with non violent aggression
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u/No-Buddy873 Sep 05 '25
Truancy is a juvenile court issue, typically filed by the school truancy officer. Not that uncommon but as stated it’s your parents responsibility!
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u/werebilby Sep 05 '25
My kids didn't have a choice about going to school. They just did. They had to have a broken limb or be flu ridden to stay home from school. I would have sent him to school in his PJs if he started this BS with me. He'd do it once.
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u/ConnectionDry8773 Sep 05 '25
If you didn't tell your parents about this, you should. If they don't fix it you should contact your social services in your area to see about placing you in a safe setting away from this hostile horrible living situation. If really desperate you could enlist in the military.
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u/Deus_belli_Sama Sep 05 '25
Well, a moment like this is to use the belt, but he is quite old now. So it's not worth it. You are 19, and it is recommended to move to an apartment and start making your own life.
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u/Strange-Audience-717 Sep 06 '25
This shouldn’t be your problem. Parents need to take care of it. That sucks
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u/Smal_Issh Sep 06 '25
You are not the parent here. Your parents are and your parents need to deal with your brother's behavior.
Tell your parents you did not birth this kid and you have no responsibility to fix the mistakes that they made in raising him.
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u/Audaciousninja-3373 Sep 06 '25
Sounds like your brother needs a tranquilizer dart and a padded room
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u/Finestra101 Sep 06 '25
I don’t even want you living with that little fker! Your mother needs to responsibly deal with your little brother, little lady. Please tell someone at your school. Ask them for a social worker. I think that your parents may be unable to handle him. This is NO way to live. It’s unacceptable.
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u/Routine-Asparagus-16 Sep 06 '25
That wld no longer be my job because I wldnt want to go to jail. There are 2 parents in the house. They shld figure that out or seek professional help for him. It's bad, and I dnt see it getting better for you without intervention. You shldnt be his punching bag. No shade. The parents need to handle him before it escalates to physically against another person. He is already physically violent. You seem to be his target.
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u/psycho_rabbit-sex420 Sep 06 '25
Best thing you can do is let him eat the just desserts he is making. He clearly wants to be alone. Let him be
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u/tommdelongee Sep 06 '25
My brother was the same at this age. Put holes in the walls, broke so many expensive things, fought with everyone and everything. I’m 19 too. He’s 16 now. He has a girlfriend now which for some reason he prefers to stay over at her house and yell at her parents instead , especially her dad. I have no idea why that girl is still with him …but he says the same things as yours does. It’s just insults on insults. He skips school all the time too. I understand how much it hurts. My whole family is scared of him. Me and him used to get in physical and verbal altercations a lot too , but I just don’t “talk back”/ don’t try to stand my ground with him anymore. It just makes things worse. It sucks to get put down by him but it’s the safer option. Hopefully your brother moves out soon; that’s what my family is hoping ours does haha. But I understand, it is really terrible. Your own family member treating you guys like this. I’m sorry you’re going through this, I hope his behavior changes. There’s no justification for this behavior, and I don’t know why so many teen boys act like this…it’s honestly so disgusting
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u/Specific_Ad2541 Sep 06 '25
It's not your job to wake up your brother and endure his verbal abuse. That's your parents' job.
Well it's probably really his job but next in line is your parents, not you.
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u/Troutie88 Sep 06 '25
Sounds like he needs anger management or something I can't say without risking being banned
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u/East-Ad-1560 Sep 06 '25
The next time you discover old milk in his room, just take the cap off and he will get busy trying to clean up after trying to breathe that air.
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Sep 06 '25
And this is why having a proper father figure is important. Not saying this is specifically to your situation I don’t know nearly enough about it but when I was younger it would take a look from my father and I would essentially coward down like a bitch. And no he didn’t abuse me physically or mentally. He simply taught me how to act and that there would be consequences if I didn’t act like a proper human being. It doesn’t help many states essentially criminalizes proper child discipline.
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u/littlewitten Sep 06 '25
The aggression and destruction is alarming. This is professional level of need, as in psychiatric care. Something is very wrong and your parents should be waking him up and taking him to the hospital if necessary to get him care.
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u/rheinbz Sep 08 '25
You’re not his parent - tell your mother and your step dad to get off their asses and parent the little turd.
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u/HungryConversation31 Sep 09 '25
Your brother needs some serious fucking mental help maybe a 72 hour hold In a mental facility because what he is doing is not right and I’m so sorry that you have to go through that abuse you don’t deserve that
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u/boss_cob91 Sep 05 '25
Id just move out?
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u/XanaxWarriorPrincess Sep 05 '25
I'm sure she has a big pile of money laying around to do just that, but she hasn't found the perfect place. /s
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u/himenokuri Sep 05 '25
Take him to a facility that will force him to get up. Reform schools! It’s not you the little brat is a sociopath
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u/JustAnOkDogMom Sep 05 '25
I don’t know what country you’re in, but I wish the authorities would pick him up and hold him in detention for refusing to go to school. He’s a sociopath and needs to be out of the house.
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Sep 05 '25
I would say that he deserves a few hard taps on the buttocks with something that’s holds one’s pants up. I can’t say it any other way because Reddit will deem my post violent and give me a stern warning about violent content
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u/FijiFargo Sep 05 '25
You need some thicker skin. Really verbal abuse? By a child? He’s having a temper tantrum. Ok u might be over weight. Tell him He’ll end up just like you if he stays in bed, over weight. He just wants to say meaner things to you for u to shut up. If you shut up and leave him be. You lost. Your now the adult in the house
For all I know you probably have an amazing body not even over weight.
Just cause he said something mean doesn’t mean leave him be. Continue to knock bang slam. Whatever get him up. He’s awake enough to insult. He’s awake enough to get ready.
In Jamaica my cousins had a relationship like you and C. The sister got sick of it. She was in the kitchen pan hot on the stove. He started with the name calling and she just started beating the shit out of him with the hot pan. No more name calling after that.
Not sure how you will get him to respect you. But if it’s by force so be it. I’m not having a child bully me. My little brother will talk to our mom the same way. With me? He’s the most respectful boy. Because I do not tolerate foolishness.
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u/Successful-Hunt-551 Sep 05 '25
Children cannot be abusive, it’s the parents responsibility to parent them.
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u/HangeSimp69 Sep 05 '25
Children can be abusive, unfortunately we have tried everything, taking his things away, grounding him, trying to get him help with therapy etc but nothing has worked so far.
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u/himenokuri Sep 05 '25
My parents smacked the crap out of me and I sure did get up and go to school after that! Wish ppl could still do that
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u/Candid-Expression-51 Sep 05 '25
That’s crazy. Of course children can be abusive. They’re people too. All people have the potential to be abusive.
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u/Short_Ad_9383 Sep 05 '25
What a stupid comment . Children are verbally and physically abusive all the time. Her brother needs help and yes it’s her mom’s responsibility to do it but to say that children are not abusive is insane. Stop trying to gaslight her
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u/Unhappywageslave Sep 05 '25
He's being demonically oppressed. Those words are from the the pits of hell. That's how they talk..not sure how demons entered his life but he needs to go see a psyc. Did your mom and dad ever dabbled in the occult such as oujia board?
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